Cannot Comprehend
A Lloyd and Zelos Fanfic
By: Kotomi Mitsurugi
Chapter Three:
It's Your Decision
"It's true." That reply echoed in my mind. I didn't really know what to say...or what to think! Just...give me a minute, okay?
...
...
...
...
I felt a warm tap on my head and I refocused my senses.
"Hey, Lloyd...Earth to Lloyd...Are you there?"
I shook my head and closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his face...Not that face.
"Yeah, I'm...I'm fine."
I could feel his soft hand touch my left cheek and I knew that I was starting to blush. Without his usual gloves on, his hands gave a whole new sensation...
"I don't know what's going on in that little head of yours, but I'm hoping that you aren't offended in anyway or...a homophobic type of person. That would be just truly awful."
"No! No! I'm not "offended" or a "homophobic type of person" for that matter. I'm...I'm fine with the fact that you are...gay." I said hastily as I made eye contact with him. "It's just...something else."
Zelos smiled politely and took his hand off my cheek. "So, I'm guessing that whatever is bothering you is written in your journal? That is just a cute little book you have there...I've seen you with it all along our journey. Oh, don't give me that look, Lloyd. I didn't read a page of it! ...Until now that is."
With that, he tackled me to the ground without warning. It took every muscle in my body to restrain myself from my inner intimacy tactics. His hand swiftly gripped my chest then slid down to my pocket where I tucked away my journal. Was he teasing me? Groping me one for a split second then trying to continue on your business, hoping that I wouldn't notice...VERY smooth, Zelos. Very smooth. My main interest was back onto my journal. I quickly sat up to attempt to snatch back it back, but he was already leaning against the wall, reading my recent page aloud.
"Hey Journal." He giggled while making eye contact with me.
"Don't you just hate it when you know you have these certain feelings for someone..." His grin faded away and his face became serious. "...but you don't want to risk yourself for it? Yeah, that's how I feel."
I looked away from him. A pulsing pain shot through I guess you could say my chest, but it felt more like it was my heart in pain. I didn't want to see his face...What happens if he's...disgusted? Would he reject me? Leave me to this mission alone?
He read a few sentences to himself thankfully; I didn't want to hear his voice. It...stings. I heard him take a deep breath.
"Remember what happened not too long ago? With me and Genis that is...it doesn't pain me as much to bring it up right now, but it makes me wonder. Was I always a toy for him? Out of all the people to "use" me, it had to be him. Zelos could do the same thing if I let..."
He paused and turned the page to see if the rest of the sentence was waiting for him there, but it wasn't. I could tell that he had enough as he shut the book and tossed it to me. I flinched as the book slapped the bottom of my foot. I heard his foot steps walk closer to me and quickly ducked my head into my knees. The screaming, the yelling...all of that from him would be too much for me to handle.
Zelos placed on of his hands on my right shoulder and I let out a quiet sob. He's angry at me...he's just furious...I know it!
"Lloyd...Don't be sad. Don't be afraid of me..." He cooed as he took me into an embrace.
"Y-you're angry a-at m-me..." I sniffed. "...and I'm such a baby! Just yell at me already!"
He curled his fingers around my chin and lifted me to make eye contact with him.
"Oh, hunny...don't fret. I'm not angry at all...do I even look angry? I'm just sorry I would have found out some of these things before..." He paused for a minute. I could see the hurt in his eyes. "...before Genis hurt you."
His blue eyes were sincere and caring. Those eyes would always catch my attention, even in the heat of battle with the Desians, I would always try to spot them.
"And it pains me to see that this beautiful man before me...is trying to distant himself from people that he's are attracted to to avoid that same fate. If I had that one chance to be faithful and to prove to him that I wanted him and him only for the longest time...I would sacrifice anything right now."
My mind froze. He...wait...just a minute. Did...did he just say that he loved me? That...just couldn't be possible...I'm just...Lloyd. The average young adult. Nothing different...Now Zelos on the other hand...he's just...amazing.
"What would happen if that man that you wanted didn't think that he was good enough for you?" I whispered.
Zelos chuckled. "Oh? Does he know that's how I feel about him? That I'm not good enough for him?"
I managed a small smile. So flattering he was...
"...but I digress. I will not force him to be with me. If he wants to try what what he wants, I will have no complaints."
He just knew exactly what to say. Not like, "Oh, he's saying that" type of way, but he knew how to explain what was inside. I feel like...I feel like I can trust him. I can feel the certainty of his feelings coursing through his touch. Betrayal wasn't written in his eyes, no...they were written with truth.
Genis. I once loved you. My world was only you. My trust was in you. When you threw all of those things away, I vowed to lock away my heart to never to be touched again. Now, things are different... I think it's time for me to move on, don't you think?
I slowly etched my eager lips towards his velvety lips that I always longed for. Our lips embraced.
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Comments from the writer:
Oh the drama...THE FLUFF! I'm terribly sorry if this chapter wasn't intended how you wanted it...I promise the goodness will come! Review none the less!
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Dedication:
To you, Sydney. I once loved YOU, but things are different now. It's time for me to move on, don't you think? And I CERTAINLY have! :D
