Whew...took a while, didn't it? Sorry, I've been busy sitting around searching for Laruku PVs on the internet and going to Europe. Wait, that's a bad excuse. Uh...I was...promoting world peace. Yes. Exactly. Sorry about the wait! I was hoping to get at least one chapter done over the summer, but that didn't work all that well.

Authors note of DOOM: I replaced the first drabble in this chapter with something that I found to be waaay funnier. Most people find my sense of humor to be deranged. I think that this might be why.


ONE WAY TO GET RID OF THE RING

It was one fine day in Hobbiton, when Frodo said randomly, "I have more facts about Vin Diesel."

Gandalf, who was conveniently next to him was confused. "Who?"

"Vin Diesel. I have more facts about him," said Frodo.

"Um...ok."

"His nipples are SO red, that he can defeat a walrus, sexually."

There was an awkward silence. "...Thank you, Frodo. I really wanted to hear that."

There was another pause.

"I have more facts about Vin Diesel."

Gandalf didn't say anything, in hopes that Frodo would shut up.

"He destroyed the ring."

This got Gandalfs attention. "Say what?"

"He destroyed the ring. Yay for Vin Diesel."

"Oh. Yay."


ONE WAY TO KILL SAURON

Frodo, Gandalf, just about every major character in LotR, and some random guy named Possibly Steve were standing around Saurons tower o' DOOM. Gandalf stepped forward and raised his arms dramatically.

"I SUMMON FROM THE DEPTHS...THE NEEDLE!

A giant needle appeared above Saurons eye and started to repeatedly stab it.

"OMGBLARGGURGLEDIEKILLDYINGBLARG!1!1111" cried Sauron in his death throes.

"Yay!" yelled Possibly Steve.

"Shut up, Possibly Steve!" yelled everyone.


ONE WAY TO KILL SAURON

Gandalf and Frodo were riding on the back of an eagle, and flying over Saurons tower o' DOOM, each holding a glass of water.

"This plan is so retarded." said Frodo.

"Shut up! It'll work!" argued Gandalf.

"But it's so stupid! It defies science!"

"So? That's the point! Ok, we're here!"

They raised their glasses, toasted, and poured the water all over Saurons eye o' DOOM, extinguishing the flames, and killing Sauron.

"SUCK CHAOS YOU FREAK!"

"OMFG I'M NAKED!" cried the eye o' DOOM. Then he died. ...Yay.


ONE WAY TO GET RID OF THE RING

Frodo and Gandalf were standing on the docks of Rivendell, watching a ship sail off.

"Wow! This is the best idea ever! Wow, I'm awesome! I mean, who would have thought that getting rid of the ring would be this simple? Just send it across the sea in a ship! I'm a genius!" said Frodo, all happy-like.

"It was MY idea." muttered Gandalf.

"Man, I AM the famoustest of Hobbits! I RULE!" yelled Frodo.

"It was MY IDEA!" yelled Gandalf.


ONE WAY TO GET RID OF THE RING

Merry and Pippin were sitting on a beach, dressed in colorful Hawaiian shirts. Gandalf randomly walked over.

"Merry! Pippin! Vacation time is OVER! You two have to get rid of the ring!"

"We already did." they said in unison.

"Oh..." said Gandalf, surprised. "What did you do?"

"We tied the ring with THE super evil resistant, impossible to untie, elven DENTAL FLOSS--" started Pippin.

To THE super heavy, evil resistant, elven, ROCK!" Merry finished.

"Then, we hired a REALLY strong badger lord---"

"To push it into the sea!"

"Sauron will NEVER get the ring now!"

Gandalf was silent for a moment. Then he said, "I hate you all. HATE...YOU...ALLLLLLL."

"HUZZAH!" cried Merry and Pippin.

"Don't worry, Gandalf! It really worked! See?" Merry pointed out towards the shore where some ringwraithes were standing right on the outside of the tideline, standing there looking really depressed.

"Woah." said Pippin. "They really can't do anything, can they? It's like their purpose in life has been shattered."

"Man...now I feel kinda guilty." said Merry.

There was a pause. The ringwraites randomly burst into flames. There was another pause.

"Ok, the guilt's gone." said Merry.


This is probably one of the lesser funny chapter things...That's why I put in Vin Diesel. Vote for Vin Diesel!

If your wondering about Possibly Steve...it's a funny story...but kinda stupid. So I'll leave his origin a mystery. It's better this way.

I'm gonna try to update faster from now on. But not too fast. Last time I posted this thing, it practically an update every couple of days, an it went by too quickly. Now to get to work! (runs over to computer and conveniently forgets everything that happened in the last five minutes) Yay! T.M.R. mp3s!