How to Annoy a Rozen Maiden and Live

Thank you to Sin Oan and cherryblossomroses for their reviews of the last two chapters. This chapter is going to be longer since Suiseiseki is easily annoyed.

...Damn, I just gave it away! *sigh* Oh well. This is Suiseiseki's chapter.

Warning: All of these have been tried and tested by a team of idiots that no-one will miss. While it is a crime to harm animals, it isn't a crime to harm and/or kill idiots...just a note for the lawyers, because some of these techniques are dangerous, and no sane person would test them.


1. Draw on her watering can, just like Hina did. How to live: Run, hide, or get Souseiseki to calm her down. Added bonus: In case you also did #1 in the next chapter (Guess), then she'll chase you too. Hina will as well when Suiseiseki asks why she did it when she didn't.

2. Call her a 'demonic doll' like Jun. That should get a reaction. How to live: Again, run, and, and all these will feature this one, have Souseiseki calm her down. Added bonus: Maybe Souseiseki. Her sister would force her.

3. While she's in the room, prey loudly to Satan to take back his demon doll, or anything along those lines. How to live: You could also prey that you get protection, but Satan's an ignorant bastard that only listens to what he wants to listen to. So, in that case, resort to the three classics; run, hide, and Souseiseki. Added bonus: Anybody really. If you don't use the term 'doll' people might think your talkin' bout them.

4. Tell her that her dress makes her look fat. How to live: Run for the hills. And if she finds you in Mexico and finds out you're not Eduardo/Maria, she will hurt you. Did you know that watering can's pure gold? Added bonus: Anyone who wears the same/a similar dress.

5. Tell her Suigintou is coming to take her Rosa Mystica. How to live: She'll probably wait a few days, watering can at the ready, so when she finds out it isn't real, she'll be tired, so that'll give you a head start...or she'll be really pissed off and will get a boost cause of her anger. Added bonus: Anyone else who overhears you and waits, attacks at the ready.

6. (Told you this list would be longer) Treat her like a maid, and when she questions it, tell her the dress is a giveaway. How to live: Okay, this time, instead of sending her sister to calm her down, nick her scissors and fight off Suiseiseki. Failing that, run. Or bribe the devil into letting you hide in hell. Of course, you'd then have to go there when you died, but it's a small price to pay to avoid the wrath of Suiseiseki, third of the Rozen Maiden dolls. Added bonus: Again, anyone else who wears the same/a similar dress, and all maids out there.

7. Frame her for murder, but before she's about to be sent to jail, jump out and shout 'APIRL FOOLS!' How to live: Well, when she tries to attack you, the cops in the court room will restrain her, so that'll give you a head start in running. But, when she's that angry, she'll fight 'em off in a few seconds, so start running as soon as the place is in dumbstruck silence after your announcement. Added bonus: Oh, just the entire courthouse.


Thank you. I hope this was funny. If it wasn't, meet me at the following (fictional) address for revenge:

FFnet City

luv2write and laugh's house

FF13 18NP

I'll be waiting. But, while I wait, I'll write another (not) funny chapter that will give you more reason to go to the above address.

Next time: Souseiseki