A/N: I was listening to "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheehan and "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle as I wrote this. Let's say there's a shit ton of fluff. Enjoy, my darlings.
Bless your divine faces.
The link for the shape of Amara's wings will be on my profile!
For the coloring, the top is white, and as it goes down it darkens to a dusty coal grey color.
Everything will change
Nothing stays the same
...
Nobody here's perfect,
Oh, but everyone here's to blame
In My Veins by Andrew Belle
"Castiel? How... How do they look?" Amara asked, her head dropping, her eyes gazing at her hands on her lap. Castiel gazed at her wings in awe. The shape was your stereotypical angel wing shape, but the color... At the top, her wings were pure white, but as his eyes trailed to the tip at the bottom, he noticed they darkened to a dusty coal grey. They didn't point up towards the sky-to Heaven-like every other angels'. Hers pointed towards Hell, for she was half demon. He was speechless.
"Amara... They are... Beautiful." He murmured softly, reaching out to feel one of the feathers. As he ran his hand down it, it felt silky against his skin. "They are... The most beautiful I have ever seen. Perhaps they are the most beautiful of all Heaven."
Amara pulled him into a hug, her wings surrounding them as she did so. If anyone were to walk into the room, they'd see only her wings, for they protected the couple from sight. "Cas? Can you help me clean up? I'm sure my back is covered in blood."
Castiel nodded. He forgot she couldn't heal herself like he could. He didn't want to use his Grace though. If he did, her skin would close, making it hurt the next time she let her wings free. He grabbed a wash cloth from the bathroom, soaking it in cold water. Since Amara's hospital gown was torn and was no longer wearable, he handed her a large towel for her to cover her bare chest. He gingerly dabbed the washcloth to her tender skin, cleaning the blood from her back. She winced a few times, but he would stop and brush his hand over the area that hurt to numb the pain. When he finished, he put the small cloth back in the bathroom.
Amara held the towel tightly to her body, standing up and walking towards Castiel. She fixed the towel so it would stay up without her holding it up. She stopped about a foot in front of him, looking into his aqua eyes with her crystal blue ones. It was at this moment that Castiel realized that, when her angelic side took over, her eyes were... The color of his. He pondered the thought for a moment, wondering why that was.
"Castiel, Angel of Thursday and the Lord, may I have the privilege of..." She trailed off, hesitant to finish her request. Castiel walked towards her slowly, knowing what she was going to ask for. He cupped her cheek, silently telling her that she could ask. "Castiel, Angel of Thursday and the Lord, may I have privilege to see your wings?"
He nodded, slipping off his trench coat and suit jacket. He undid his tie, not bothering with his shirt. He would just fix it with his Grace later when it would be ripped. He stepped back a bit, spreading his arms wide. Two wide, raven black wings spread out to either side of him, curling inwards before it hit the walls. He stepped towards her again, reaching for her hand. He brought it towards his wing but let go, willing her to touch the feathers.
She did so, her fingertips delicately brushing against the silky feathers, making him sigh in content. He pulled her into a kiss, his lips moving with hers slowly. As Amara's wings curled around the two, Castiel's did the same, surrounding her wings. Their wings brushed together momentarily, making Amara push herself against Castiel. He involuntarily moaned, never having felt that sensation before.
They kissed each other less gently, consumed by the passion for each other. Cas's hands moved to her back, where the towel wasn't against her skin, his fingers gently massaging the muscle near where her wings came out her back. Amara moaned softly into his lips, pulling away to catch her breath. Her hands moved to his chest, lightly gripping the fabric of his shirt, pulling him back to her. She bit his lip as he pulled away again moments later. He gently grabbed her upper arms and pushed her slightly away.
"No, Amara... I... I cannot." He said, resting his forehead against hers.
"Do you... Not want to? Or you just aren't ready?" She asked, suddenly feeling slightly self conscious. Castiel shook his head. He moved his head so his lips were lightly pressing her shoulder.
"I am not ready. And I do not wish to... Lust after you. I do not want you to lose your purity because I was lustful." He whispered against her soft skin. The coldness of his breath against her warmth made shivers run down her spine. When he lifted his head again to look in her eyes, he was greeted with a confused gaze.
"Lust after me? Wh-what about me is there to lust after?" She asked quietly, her voice almost silent. Castiel looked at her, confused and surprised. How could he tell her he thought she was beautiful? That he noticed whenever guys would try to hit on her or when they looked at her with lust? He never thought he'd get this far, let alone think he'd have to tell a girl she was beautiful.
"Everything... You're... Amara, you are a beautiful angel. A beautiful demon. I am not the only one who thinks so."
She kissed him softly, just for moment.
He hugged her gently, his fingers wandering to the feathers on the back of her wings.
"Castiel.." She moaned softly, making him grin slightly at the fact that she didn't just say 'Cas' like she did a lot of the time. Her head buried in his chest, he lifted her bridal style, her wings disappearing for the time being. He laid her down on the bed, knowing she was most likely starting to get tired. She gestured for him to look away, and slipped the towel off, sliding the covers over her near-naked body. She laid on her side, her arm draped over the sheets.
"You're not tired, are you?" She asked, noticing now that his wings were tone as well. To her surprise, Cas nodded. "I don't know if you're saying that just to get in bed with me or..." She joked, knowing he wouldn't. He thought for a moment. He tossed her his white dress shirt, stripping down to just his boxers. "Oh Lord, Castiel. You just said you didn't want..."
"Do not make me change my mind." He warned, his voice dangerously low. Amara buttoned the white shirt once it was on her. She looked him up and down, smirking. He caught her staring, and walked over to her, sitting on the bed and pulling the covers over his body. "I may not be tired, but you are. Now sleep, Amara." He said softly, turning the lamp off. Amara moved closer to Castiel, nuzzling her head in his chest. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close. She turned to her other side, her back pressed against Castiel's chest.
When he knew she was asleep, he kissed her neck softly, just to... He didn't know. It was just one, gentle kiss. He wasn't going to do anything else. He told himself that over and over again.
He didn't know what he was doing. Something just told him to. Something or someone.
He prayed a silent prayer. Father, why am I doing this? Why do I lust? Why can I only just control myself? Help, Father.
He closed his eyes, turning on his back. He looked over at Amara, who laid there, her black curly hair starting to become knotted as she turned towards him. He let out a shaky breath, not knowing what to do.
When Amara woke, she was still wearing Castiel's shirt, but she did not see the angel. Getting up, she called his name, needing to make sure he was there. She heard the flutter of wings behind her, towards the door.
"Castiel, I swear to God-" She said, cutting herself off when she turned around. She saw Gabriel standing in front oh the door, his smirk plastered on his face. "What the hell do you want, Gabriel?"
"I was just checking on little Cassie's girlfriend. Is that so bad?" He said, walking towards her. He eyed her up and down as he said the word 'girlfriend'. "I mean, everyone thought he was gay because of Dean-o but... This is so much better." He said, gesturing to nothing with both arms spread wide as he turned away from her, laughing.
"What do you mean?" Amara asked, scared. Gabriel chuckled before turning back to her.
"Amara. So innocent, so naïve... Do you not know of the thoughts Cas has of you?" He asked as if she should know.
"I don't read his mind. I can, but I choose not to. Why? He said he didn't want to lust. Is he?" She asked, slightly concerned. If one night he wouldn't be able to control himself...
"Oh, I don't read his mind. No one does. He came to me last night, while you were sleeping. He said he needed some, uh... Guidance with... This," He said, gesturing to Amara. "Relationship of yours. I mean, you do know what I represent as an Archangel, right?"
"Yeah, you ass. You're the Archangel of love. Why are you involved though?" She demanded. He shrugged.
"Castiel asked for Guidance with a relationship, so I gave it to him. You may want to be prepared for tonight though." He winked, slowly walking towards her. She took the angel blade off the nightstand, pointing the tip at him. He didn't flinch in the slightest. He looked down at the blade pointed at his chest in disgusted surprise. "Really? You're gonna try to kill me? If there aren't enough demons and angels after you right now, imagine how many there'll be after you kill me."
Amara froze. She dropped the blade. "Why are they after me?" She asked.
"Normally, they'd want to kill you. I mean, a demon/angel spawn? You could destroy this world. Chances are you could smite my Father!" He yelled, surprised she wasn't aware of what she could do. "Heaven And Hell want you on their side. Because whichever side you choose... That's who will win."
"I already know who wins, though! I mean, I don't want to be involved in this shit, okay?!" She yelled, starting to cry. Gabriel started walking towards her-he hadn't meant to hurt her in this way. "Get the fuck away from me! I just... I need to talk to Castiel..."
Gabriel left with a flutter of wings. She was alone, again. She heard another flutter of wings from behind her.
"Gabriel, I literally just told you I needed to talk to Castiel!" She yelled, turning around after finishing her sentence. She sighed, saying "Oh, my God, Cas..." And ran over to him, hugging him fiercely.
"You were about to kill my brother." He said somberly, gently closing his eyes. Amara opened her mouth to speak, but shut it just a moment after.
"No, Castiel..." She murmured, not knowing how to justify her actions. "I was just... taking precautions."
He opened his eyes, quickly moving at her and slamming her against the wall. She softly cried out in pain, and he looked at her, confused and concerned.
"What did he say that made you take the angel blade?" He asked, his hands gripping her waist a little tighter. Her breathing was heavy. She swallowed some air.
"That I may want to be prepared for tonight. He said, and I quote, 'Amara. So innocent, so naïve... Do you not know of the thoughts Cas has of you?' But you told me you did not lust. Or, you did not want to." She said, Cas's fingers digging deeper into her skin, making her bite her lip harshly so she wouldn't cry out in pain again. Did he not know she could feel pain? "Do you, Castiel? Tell me. Tell me now. If you want to..." She trailed off, slamming the back of her head against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.
His hands moved up to her ribs, pushing down slightly. He chanted something, raising her higher. He repeated the odd chant, over and over, his hands gently pushing harder against her bone. When he finished, he slowly slid her down the wall so her feet just barely touched the ground. He crashed his lips against hers, making her confused and frozen for a moment. She figured he was doing something Castiel-y as he occasionally did.
When his hands slid to her legs, wrapping them slowly around his waist, she pulled away as much as she could.
"Castiel... What're you-" Amara was cut off by his lips, kissing her again. Normally she would have gone with it, but something was wrong with Cas. She couldn't push him away- her legs were being held up by his hands still, and he had an iron grip. She moved her hand from his arm and slapped his face with all her strength-which was quite a lot.
Castiel let go of her legs, making her able to kick him away from her.
"What the hell has gotten into you?" She yelled, walking over to the angel on the floor. She picked him up with her fist, throwing him onto the bed. "You tell me to stop and leave you alone because you don't want to get with me, then you go and do what you said you couldn't do? That is the definition of hypocrisy. What is wrong with you?"
Castiel sat up, slipping his trench coat and suit jacket off, throwing them on the other bed. "I... I do not know, Amara. I..." He trailed off, not knowing what to say. He then thought of a hopefully acceptable excuse. "The pizza man taught me that."
"The pizza man taught you to hurt the girl you like and then go all the way with her like nothing ever happened? I don't think so." She muttered, annoyed. Castiel looked at her in surprise.
"You... I hurt you?" He asked, not knowing that doing what he had done would harm her. All he meant to do was keep her away from the demons and angels, under the radars. Only Gabriel, Balthazar, and him would know where she was at any given moment.
"Yeah. You did. Whatever you did to my body... It may not have hurt yours, but it hurt mine. Castiel, you can't feel pain, but I can. Please, remember that." She murmured, her wings visible once again. "I'm going to go ask Dean and Sam if I can borrow a pair of shorts or something. Your white dress shirt doesn't help at all."
With a flutter of her wings, she was gone, leaving Castiel alone. He stood up, walking into the bathroom. He gripped the sides of the sink, feeling anger like he never had before.
He hurt her. He hurt the one girl that had stayed with him for so long and kept it so secret. She was the only girl he could talk to without getting flustered every five minutes, even though she was one of the most beautiful creatures he's ever seen- and he couldn't admit that.
He looked into the mirror, his blue eyes reminding him of her eyes that had the same color as his. Before he knew it, his fist was bleeding and the mirror was shattered in a thousand little pieces on the ground. He felt a stinging sensation where the glass had cut him multiple times.
There were runes on the shattered glass, he realized. And he recognized them.
They were the runes you'd use on an angel blade to kill a Divine being.
Cliffhanger? I say yes.
I hoe you enjoyed it! Please review and favorite/follow!
