AN: ok

well now

this is my first time ever writing something porny (and by the way if you know me in real life then shoo. gtfo. stuff. just don't read this.) and it's short and unproofread and written at 5:30 am after staying up all night for the second night in a row. bleh.

don't read it? please?


Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are having a PROPER DREAM for the first time in quite a while.

It had come as quite a shock to everyone when Dave announced that either he had a repressed memory of beating Aradia over the head with a pack of ramen noodles, or it was feasible to have proper dreams, even with your dreamself gone. Rose spouted a bunch of jargon which sounded like it meant that this could only happen when you're half-asleep, since full-on sleep always involved either the horrorterrors or a dream bubble, but you don't really care, you're just happy to get away from your doomed selves and dead friends for a while.

Anyway, you're pretty sure that this is a dream, since you can't remember your house having a swimming pool, especially not one twenty feet deep with a living room at the bottom.

You swim around for a few minutes, shying away from the tentacle seaweed that you just know in that weird dream-knowing way is made of Betty Crocker muffin mix, just like you know that this is your house even though it resembles nothing of the kind.

After idly paddling around for a bit, you wonder what you're wearing, and then you wonder why you're wondering that when a more reasonable wonder to wonder would be what you are breathing.

You check anyway. Sweet, it's your God Tier pajamas!

You also notice in a TOTALLY OFFHAND MANNER that you have a boner.

Your dreams are seriously fucked up.

Anyway, you write off that bit of information as irrelevant and continue exploring. This pool seems to go on pretty much indefinitely. You wonder if maybe there's a lost temple or something down here. That would be SO SWEET.

(Your attempts to ignore that boner are not working.)

(That was probably the plan all along. Whatever that means.)

There is something shiny in front of you. You poke it.

Well, that was pointless.

You suddenly become aware of someone else in the pool with you as a pair of grey arms slide around you from the back.

Grey?

It must be Vriska. Yep, it must be. You've had tons of weird dreams about pals before—well, just girls, obviously! (You're totally not into anything else!)

You smother a little noise as teeth graze the sensitive spot between your shoulder and neck. Oh, it's that kind of weird dream.

As you whine a little and lean back against your molester (is it molestation if you're kind of willing and also the person doesn't exist?), you notice a distinct lack of female… chestage.

Uh.

But then it all kind of floats away as whoever-it-is dips their hand below your waistband and ooh man that's nice and is that a panda floating by?

Through your half-lidded eyes, you vaguely observe that the sleeves are totally the wrong color to be Vriska, and you're kind of OK with that and anyway this is just a dream so it's all good.

Those teeth scrape your neck again and you moan and then their mouth is on your neck, kissing lightly and their tongue is circling and whoa that is very, very good.

Their hand gives you a firm stroke just as they bite down on your neck and then they're licking around the bite marks and you just kind of flail slightly except not really because their arm is around you, their hand making you a squirming mess of nerve ending pudding (which is a really horrible metaphor and kind of gross but you're not exactly in any state to think of a better one) and you suck in a hiss of breath because right there, that's good, that's very, very good, and then you suddenly realize oh crap, that's who they are, but for some reason it doesn't turn you off, in fact exactly the opposite, and you finally thrust into his hand (yes, his, and really you shouldn't be OK with that, but it's just a dream), spilling cum down his hand and you wonder why it isn't floating off, but then you realize that you're in your bedroom on the asteroid, not underwater, which would be totally stupid, why would you be underwater?

And there's nobody there, of course.

You wake up, weak and shaking.

You contemplate your now-dirty sheets and completely nonexistent feelings for one KARKAT VANTAS.

Your heart feels heavy, for some reason.


AN: haHAHAHA I SUCK