Hamilton Holt


Guys. Girl version of the word 'guys'. (Is there such a thing? I always wonder—)

[Hamm, you cannot use the word 'wonder' because by using the word 'wonder', it implies that you can actually think.]

[What are you implying? That I can't think?]

[Do you even know what the word 'imply' means?]

[Yeah. Duh.]

[What, then, O Great Almighty Idiot?]

[It means... something about saying something but not really. Like a hidden message that was meant to be not-hidden.]

[Yeah. Sure it does.]

[Get out of here. Why don't you do something else instead of hanging around like a loser with no life?]

[*Editor leaved the room for a soda.*]

So...What's up?

What am I supposed to do here again?

Oh. I'm supposed to clear up a few things about FanFiction.

Let's see…

Look, I appreciate the effort and all, but I don't like how you guys think that just because me and Amy were nice to each other during the hunt, we automatically are a romantic pairing. I mean, come on! Seriously? We were only nice for a total of five minutes. Besides, that doesn't change my opinion that Amy and Dan are still wimps and losers. I let them get ahead of me on that bell tower (or whatever that was) in Russia on purpose. I totally could have beaten them. And I accepted that soda from Dan becausewho wouldn't refuse free food? I was just being a nice and merciful person at the moment, that's all.

Ow.

Hang on… the Editor's saying something. (She came back with Coke for me.)

Oh.

Apparently, I "shouldn't flatter myself because there are way more Ian/ Amy pairings than there are Hamilton/ Amy pairings." In the words of the Editor, I am an "egomaniac who no one would really pair up with anyone."

Did anyone else understand that? Because I sure as heck have no idea what she just said.

[*Hammy is shoved out of the seat.*]

[Hey, guys. It's me, the Editor. What I meant by that was no self-respecting author would really pair Hamilton up with anybody.]

[*The Editor is shoved out of the seat.*]

[Oi! That wasn't fair. I didn't see her pushing Dan out of his seat while he was typing. Didn't your mother tell you that it's rude to push people off their seats? And are you saying that anyone who paired me up with someone isn't a self-respecting author?]

[Shut up, Hamm. Didn't your mother tell you that it's wrong to take steroids? (I'm sitting on his lap right now, in case you're wondering. I can feel all his muscles, especially the ones in his thighs. Dude, they're like rocks.) I didn't mean that self respecting part, that was a joke. And I didn't push Danny-boy out of his chair because he was a well-behaved boy.]

[Well-behaved boy? Are we talking about the same kid here? And get off my lap, loser! Stop feeling me up!]

[I am not feeling you up! Your muscles are just huge, and I can't help but feel them. And, 'sides, I'm the editor, and I can do what I want. And don't call me a freak.]

[No, you can't. I'm doing this as a favour to you.]

[Uh, yes, I can.]

[Okay, enough of this. I'm leaving.]


Um, 'sup, guys. Editor here.

Yeah, Hamilton really left. I'm so sorry about that. He was just being a bratalmost like a certain Cobra I could mention.

But don't worry! I'll get him back! I promise.

And, because he called me a freak and didn't apologize, what do you guys say to punishing him? I have a really good idea!

Let's make him read FanFiction!

I need you guys to suggest FanFiction that you want Hammy to read. And I'll force him to sit here and type out reviews to each one of them! Sound good?

One last thing: Any important Author's Notes will be placed on my WordPress (link on my profile.)

One super last thing: Dan replied to some reviews. I'm posting them on my WordPress soon. Not today, but soon. So if you reviewed Dan's section, check it out.