Harry Potter Insanity Chapter 3

Billy lead the girls through the sea of people as they were trying to get to the platform. "I swear to God, there are way too many people here every year." Billy muttered to himself irritated as he was trying to push his trolley through. Callista, Taylor, Kailynn, and Krystal seemed to be as irritated as much as him since they despised going through crowds of people. When they finally got to their destination, all of the girls except Taylor had a look of confusion on their face while Taylor's face was blank.

"Uh, Billy? Why isn't the platform we need to go to not here?" Krystal asked as she pulled on her brother's sleeve to get his attention. Billy flicked her forehead. "OW! Why do you keep--?!"

"We're going to go through that wall to get there." he said pointing at the wall. Krystal raised an eyebrow while Kailynn and Callista still looked a little confused and Taylor still had a blank face and looked bored.

"All you have to do is walk at the wall between platform 9 and 10. I'll use the idiot here for an example." he said as he directed Krystal to the wall. She flinched as she was expecting the impact, but found herself looking at a scarlet engine. She read on the front of it "Hogwarts Express".

"Whoa...this is cool!" she said as she looked around. She saw her friends and older brother ahead of her and quickly caught up. Over the train's hissing steam, all they could hear was people saying their goodbyes and people's animals meowing, squaking, and hooting. Billy looked at the clock on the brick wall.

"Looks like we made it on time." They got on the train and went into the car while putting their trunks on the luggage rack. Taylor, Krystal, Callista, Kailynn, and Billy all sat down on the comfortable seats.

"Hey, Billy, didn't you say something about a candy cart when we were at the Leaky Cauldron?" Krystal asked.

"Don't worry squirt, it will come around when the train heads out of the station."

"CANDY!" Callista shouted. "I hope they have chocolate!"

"Um...excuse me." a boy with black hair, green eyes, and glasses said. "Do you mind if my friend and I come in? Everywhere else is full."

"Whoa. Did we leave the train station already?" Krystal said as she looked out the window. Taylor threw a pencil at her. "OW! What was that for?"

"That was for being a dweeb." Taylor replied. The boy with black hair and his friend with red hair looked unsure of what to do.

"Oh, we forgot to introduce ourselves! I'm Kailynn, these three are Taylor, Callista, and Krystal, and that's Billy." Kailynn said.

"I'm Ron Weasley." the boy with red hair said and looked as if he was thankful he had something to talk about.

"And I'm Harry Potter." the other one said.

"Nice to meet you." Kailynn said smiling.

"Why aren't you shocked or anything?" Ron asked with a 'Are you crazy?!' look on his face.

"Why would we be shocked if we introduced ourselves?" Taylor asked.

"He's HARRY POTTER, though!"

"So? What difference does it make?"

"You know! The "Boy Who Lived"?"

Taylor had an annoyed expression on her face. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Before Ron could say anything else, an elderly woman with a candy cart stopped in front of the door and asked "Anything off the trolley, dears?"

"No, thanks, I'm all set." Ron said holding up a baggie of what looked like a large Frosted Mini Wheat or a sandwich.

"We'll take the lot." Billy and Harry said at the same time holding a handful of galleons.

All of the girls eyes widened and Ron just simply said "Whoa!". Taylor shook her head as if she didn't want to know, Callista and Krystal were looking for chocolate, and Kailynn decided to put her nose back into the book she was reading.

"DUDE! CHOCOLATE FROGS!" Callista and Krystal said at the same time. When they opened it, the chocolate frogs jumped out, but they caught them before they could get any further. "Victory is mine!" Callista and Krystal said before they popped them into their mouths. Billy looked at them with utter disbelief and shook his head, Taylor looked at them like they needed help, Harry and Ron had disbelieving expressions, and Kailynn just kept reading as if she didn't hear them.

A little while later, Ron was showing them a spell one of his brothers taught him. He cleared his throat and said "Sun--" Someone slid the door back and it was a girl with bushy brown hair.

"Has anyone of you seen a toad? A boy named Neville lost one."

"No." Ron said looking at her like she was weird.

"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see, then."

Ron cleared his throat once more and said "Sunshine, daises, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow." As he said all of this, the girl's expression turned from hopeful to annoyed. As he pointed his wand at the rat, nothing seemed to have happened.

"Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course, I've been studying simple spells, but they've all worked for me." She sat down and pointed her wand at Harry's glasses. "For example, repairo." Harry's glasses were repaired and he took them off and looked at them as if he couldn't believe what just happened. "That must be much better and--holy cricket! You're Harry Pott--"

"Okay, seriously, what's the big deal about Harry Potter?" Krystal interrupted the girl annoyed. The girls eyes widened in disbelief.

"Are you telling me that you don't even KNOW about Harry Potter?!"

"Well obviously since I don't look at him like you did when you realized who he was." Krystal said sourly.

The girl scoffed, rolled her eyes, and said "HONESTLY! Who DOESN'T know about Harry Potter?!" Callista, Kailynn, Taylor, and Krystal raised their hands. "Oh for the love of--read here!" she said as she got a textbook out, opened it, and showed them where to read. All four of them read what it said and Taylor looked at the girl like she was stupid.

"You expect us AMERICANS to know what the hell you are talking about?" Taylor said as she closed the book. Kailynn, Krystal, Callista, and Billy started laughing. "I wasn't trying to be funny, I actually meant what I said."

"Too bad, Itachi, we're going to laugh anyway." Krystal said before another fit of laughter. The girl with bushy hair stood up.

"I suggest getting changed into your robes soon, we're almost there." she said as she left with a scowl on her face.

"Holy crap, it's that late already?!" Krystal said as she was about to look out the window, but her brother flicked her forehead. "OW! What now?!"

"Get changed, idiot." he said before him, Ron, and Harry went to get changed. Krystal looked at everyone else and shrugged. They shrugged as well and also went to get changed. By the time they got changed, they went back to the car and when they sat down, Callista started bouncing in her seat. Ron and Harry looked at her worried.

"Er...is she okay?" Ron said pointing at Callista, as if unsure if she was actually human.

"It's the sugar." Krystal, Taylor, Billy, and Kailynn said as if they dealt with it for many years and as if it wasn't worth worrying about while Callista was still bouncing in her seat and laughing. Ron and Harry looked at them with disbelief, but decided to drop it. The train finally came to a stop and they got off the train.

"Over here, firs' years! We're goin' in the boats, follow me, firs' years!" A man that seemed to be a giant with tangled beard and hair with a big brown coat on said.

"Hello, Hagrid." Harry said.

"Hey there, Harry!" Hagrid replied.

"Hey, Hagrid." Billy said as he came up with everyone else.

"Come back fer more trouble, eh, Billy?" Hagrid said winking at him.

"Yup." he replied with a grin.

"Would you move over?" a boy with pale blond hair and a sneering face said as he was trying to push Billy out of the way.

"How about you wait your turn, runt?" Billy said looking at him annoyed.

"Crabbe, Golye, please teach this moron a lesson." the boy said as two bigger and mean looking boys went in front of him cracking their knuckles threateningly. Billy didn't even flinch and stood calmly, as if waiting for them to make their move. When one of them threw a punch at him, he caught his fist and twisted his arm back. When the other tried to throw a punch at him, he dodged it and tripped him.

"Just as I thought, British boys are pansies." Billy said as all three of them looked at him in fear.

"Come on now, Billy, yeh know you're not supposed ter fight on school grounds." Hagrid said as he helped a first year into one of the boats.

"I wasn't fighting, I was just teaching a first year not to mess with a second year. They're the ones that started it anyway." Billy said.

"Yeah, but I don't want yeh ter get into trouble on yer first day back."

"Oh, come on, Hagrid, I get in trouble all the time." Billy said and looked over to the older looking students. "Well, I better get going, see ya." He walked off and disappeared.

"Well, we better get you ter the castle, can't be late on yer first day." Hagrid said as he got into one of the boats. As soon as he got in, all of the boats started to move.

"Hogs With Warts sounds like an interesting school." Callista said.

"It's HOGWARTS!" Krystal, Taylor, and Kailynn said.

They all heard a splash and looked at the boat from where the sound came from. The people in the boat had a look of horror on their face. "Uh...what just happened, did someone just fall in the..." Krystal looked at the water bellow "ocean?"

"Actually, it's a lake--" Hagrid started but the girl with bushy brown hair cut him off.

"For the love of God! Don't just have small talk while someone is drowning!"

"Oh, right, better get 'im out, then." Hagrid said while he pulled a boy out of the lake. The boy was shivering violently. Hagrid took off his enormous coat and put it on him. The girl with bushy hair gave a huff and stayed silent for the rest of the trip to the castle.

As they all arrived, Hagrid picked up a toad. "Who's toad is this?"

"Trevor!" the boy that had Hagrid's coat on said as he ran up to Hagrid to receive it.

"Make sure yeh keep an eye on him and don't lose him."

When they went up a flight of stone stairs, Hagrid knocked on the door three times. As the door opened, it revealed Professor McGonagall. "Here are the firs' years. Professor McGonagall."

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take it from here." She lead them into the enormous entrance hall and everyone heard some voices coming from the doorway to the right, which meant that the rest of the school was already there. Professor McGonagall lead them to an empty chamber off the hall, which everyone crowded into uncomfortably.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, the start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts."

"I doubt that." Taylor mumbled quietly.

"The four houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as you can while waiting. I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly." She then left the chamber.

"How exactly do they sort us into houses?" Harry asked Ron.

"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."

Suddenly, some people screamed and Taylor, Callista, Krystal, Kailynn, Ron, Harry, and the girl with bushy hair looked behind them. "What the--" Harry started but stopped and gasped along with some other people as some ghosts glided in. They were arguing about someone named Peeves. One of the ghosts wearing a ruff and tights finally noticed the first years.

"New students!" the one known as the Fat Friar said smiling at them all. "About to be sorted, I suppose?"

"Well, we're standing here, aren't we?" Taylor said.

"Move along now, the Sorting Ceremony is about to start." Professor McGonagall said as she returned. The ghosts floated away through the opposite wall. "Form a line and follow me, please." They went through the double doors into the Great Hall.

The hall had floating candles over for long tables, which was where Billy and the rest of the students were sitting. At the end of the hall, there was another long table where the teachers were sitting. The tables had glittering golden plates and goblets on top of them. The ceiling looked like the night sky. The girl with bushy brown hair whispered something about the ceiling being bewitched to look like the sky outside and that she read about it in Hogwarts, A History. Professor McGonagall put a four-legged stool in front of the first years with a patched, frayed, and dirsty pointed wizard's hat.

"Are you telling me all we've got to do is try on the hat?! I'm going to kill Fred, he said he had to wrestle a troll." Ron whispered to Harry.

"When I call your name, you will come up and sit on the stool to be sorted." she said as she got a scroll out. "Abbott, Hannah!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Bones, Susan!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Boot, Terry!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

The list seemed to go on forever. The girl with bushy brown hair seemed to be getting anxious. "Granger, Hermione!" She practically ran over to the stool as she eagerly put the hat on.

"GRYFFINDOR!" Ron groaned as Hermione went over to the Gryffindor table. Neville Longbottom, who was the boy that fell into the lake and lost his toad, was also sorted into Gryffindor. More and more people were called up to get sorted and it finally went to Harry.

"Potter, Harry!" People started whispering and Krystal just looked ahead annoyed with how people acted just by hearing his name. The hat took a long time to place him in a house and after a while, Harry was placed in Gryffindor.

Krystal could have sworn she heard two people who seemed to be Ron's older twin brothers and her own brother shout "We got Potter! We got Potter!" It was finally Ron's turn to get sorted and he was sent to Gryffindor as well. When they went through everyone but the four girls, Krystal looked around.

"Oh, I see how it is! Have the Americans go last!" Krystal shouted annoyed.

Professor McGonagall gave her a stern look before calling her up. Krystal walked over to the stool and put the hat on and it said "Oh dear God, not another Maurer! Just ONE of you is too many!"

"Don't worry, she's not like her brother." Taylor, Callista, and Kailynn said. The teachers gave a sigh of relief. "She's worse."

Everyone in the Great Hall except the confused first years said "Oh, God." A thud was also heard at the table the teachers were sitting at and it seems Hagrid hit his head on the table.

Krystal looked up at the hat annoyed and said "Are you going to put me in a house, or what?"

The hat sighed and said "I might as well put you in the same house as your havoc causing brother, so Gryffindor."

"Oh come on! You didn't even say that with enthusiasm like everyone else's!" she said as she took the hat off and walked over to the Gryffindor table.

Ashe, Kailynn!" Kailynn walked up an put the hat on her head.

A little bit of time passed by before the hat said "SLYTHERIN!" Krystal glowered at the hat and Billy patted her back sympathetically. Kailynn walked over to the Slytherin table and sat down.

"Vantrease, Callista!" Callista walked up to the stool and sat down as she put the hat on her head. The hat remained on her head for at least 30 minutes.

"There is absolutely nothing in this girls head!"

Kailynn, Krystal, and Taylor looked at the hat and said "You just figured that out? We've known that the second we met her."

"Besides, what were you expecting, elevator music?" Krystal said.

"Well, yes, seeing the way she was acting."

"Just put her in Hufflepuff." Krystal, Taylor, and Kailynn said.

The hat sighed and said "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Callista tilted her head and the hat fell off. She looked down at it curiously and said "Yay! I made the hat fall off!" She got off the stool and sat down on the floor next to the hat and asked Professor McGonagall "Can the hat still talk?"

"No, it can't Miss Vantrease."

"Oh, okay then. By the way, does this school have hogs with warts?"

"For the last time, Neko, it's Hogwarts!" Taylor, Kailynn, and Krystal said. Callista just shrugged and went to one of the seats at the Hufflepuff table. McGonagall picked up the Sorting Hat and put it back on the stool.

"Holguin, Tay--"

"For the love of God, you don't need to call for me since I'm the last person to be sorted." Taylor said as she walked up to the stool, picked up the hat, and put it on while she sat down.

"Hmm...you seem to be just as difficult as Potter...where should I put you?"

'Not Gryffindor, for the love of God, not Gryffindor.' Taylor thought.

"What the hell?! First "Not Slytherin" and now it's "Not Gryffindor"! They are both great houses--! You know what, I'm just not going to question this any further, where should I put you?" the Sorting Hat said.

"I don't care, just put me in a house so we can get this over with."

"Americans, always hasty."

"Hey, I don't like the way America works, thank you very much."

"Ugh...even I'm getting fed up with this argument, I'll put you in...RAVENCLAW!" Before Taylor took the hat off, it said "I'm getting too old for this..."

"Hats have ages?" Callista and Krystal asked tilting their heads.

The hat twitched as if it had an eye twitching and lied still when Taylor took it off. As she walked over to the Ravenclaw table, Dumbledore stood up and opened his arms widely as he smiled at everyone.

"Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hog--"

"Come on, Dumbledore, we're hungry!" Billy and the Weasley twins said. All three of them picked up a knife and fork and pounded them on the table and started to chant "Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food!"

Dumbledore smiled at them and said "Patience, my friends, you'll start the banquet after the new words I learned. They are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!" He sat back down and everyone cheered except for Harry who looked confused. Krystal didn't bother having a conversation with Harry nor Percy Weasley as she dug into roast beef and chicken.

Billy, Fred, and George looked at Krystal oddly. "What?" she asked as she swallowed the roast beef she was chewing. "Is it that weird to see someone eat roast beef and chicken?"

"No, it's just amazing seeing that you can't really do anything else but eat food faster than even Ron." Billy said jerking his thumb at Ron who was eating two chicken legs. The twins nodded in agreement.

Krystal looked at her brother annoyed and said "I hate you."

"I know." Billy said with a grin.

The ghost from before with the ruff came to the Gryffindor table and said "That looks good."

"But aren't you dead and because you're a ghost, you can't eat?" Krystal said bluntly.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Hey, Sir Nicholas." Billy said.

"Ah, I see trouble has returned to this school." Sir Nicholas said smiling.

"Hey! You're Nearly Headless Nick!" Ron said pointing at Sir Nicholas.

"I would PREFER Sir Nicholas if you don't mind--"

"NEARLY Headless? How can you be NEARLY headless?" Seamus Finnigan asked.

"Like THIS." Sir Nicholas said irritably and grabbed his left ear and pulled. His head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulders as if it were on a hinge. Krystal stared at Sir Nicholas with wide eyes and decided to keep eating and act like nothing happened. The rest of the food disappeared and left the plates clean and then desert replaced it.

"YAY! ICE CREAM!" Callista said from the Hufflepuff table which caused her to get stares. "What? Is it weird to see that someone likes ice cream?" The people staring at her shook their heads and continued eating thinking 'Americans.'

As the deserts were finally gone, Dumbledore stood up again and said "Just a few more words now that we are fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you."

"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. A few of our older students would do well to remember." Dumbledore looked over at Billy and the twins with twinkling eyes.

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

Harry and a few other people laughed. Krystal just had a blank face. Billy and the twins just shrugged.

"Now it is bedtime. Off you trot!" Dumbledore said and everyone got up from the table and followed the prefects and head boys/girls to the common room.

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Well, there's chapter 3! Sorry, but chapter 4 will probably take a while to put up since I barely started on it . I'd say that this so far is my most favorite chapter since there is a lot of attempted humor XD Anyway, review if you'd like and enjoy the rest when I get them up XP and the reason why I kind of had us go out of order was because my friends suggested that I should go first since apparently the Sorting Hat doesn't like me or my brother very much XP We cause havoc! Hurray! 8D lol XD Sorry, anyway, chapter 4 coming around when it is put up XD