On the road again. . .

Vernon: We're being followed.

Harry: Really?

Vernon: Yeah by the blue double-decker bus with England's flag on the side.

Harry: Oh yeah, how did I miss it?

Vernon: It just got there.

Harry: But I thought you said it was following. . .oh nevermind.

Vernon pulls over and the big blue bus follows.

Petunia: Why are we pulling over? They'll get us.

Vernon: Err. . .I dunno. It's in the script.

Harry: There's a script?

Petunia: Yeah, doy, how'd you become the star.

Harry: I dunno, being spontaneous?

Dudley: Stop using big words!

Vernon: So anyways, it says we're supposed to be cowering in fear, so cower!

Cowering in fear, the family of four huddles against the car as the door ominously swings open. It is none toher than. . . the Spice Girls!

Harry, Dudley, Vernon: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posh: 'Allo

Scary: Spice up yer life.

Sporty: I like sports.

Baby: I need a new diaper.

Ginger: I'm not a spice girl, even though I'm like so totally the favorite.

Harry(disappointed): You were the ones delivering the letters?

Baby: I know my letters! A,B,C,D,E,F. . .

Ginger: Girl power!

Harry: I'm not a girl!!!!!!!

Ginger: Aww. . .

Sporty: I like sports.

Baby: . . .Now I know my ABC's. . .

Harry(exasperated): Shut up now! Now listen, Are you the ones delivering my letters or not?!

Posh: Like no, silly! We're looking for a Petunia Dursley.

Aunt Petunia steps forward nervously.

Scary: We're following you because here it says you're a member of the Spice Girls fan club.

Petunia: Umm, several years ago. . .

All Spice Girls: Score! We have a fan!!!

Ginger: And as our #1 fan, because your the only one, we have a special concert for you. . .err. . .right here!

Harry, Dudley, Vernon, and Petunia: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vernon: Oh, I mean no, thank you. See, we're on the run from the mailman, a secret, assassins, and a purple-spotted elephant.

All except Vernon: What?

Vernon: Just don't ask.

Harry: But we already did. . .oh nevermind.

Posh(disappointed): Bye then, I'm going to eat some more cupcakes.

Scary: Adios

Sporty: I like sports.

Ginger: Im still the favorite, even though I don't belong to this group anymore.

Baby(giggling): Baby goes bye-bye!

The climb back onto the bus and the Dursleys continue on their journey. They end up in a leaky cabin that night, and Vernon sets up elephant booby traps.

Well, that's all for now. I hope you've enjoyed yourself reading my paradoy as much as I've enjoyed writing it. But it does take a lot of work, rereading stuff, editing, and next section will include a song which is going to demand serious attention. So if you could review and let me know what you think? Otherwise I might slip into schitzophrenic tendencies. . .

Harry: Yeah, and she'll probably take it out on us, so for the love of-

Hey, what are you doing here! The story's over for now! Go make me a turkey pot pie, bitch!

Harry(mumbles): See what I mean?

Okay, now that we're rid of the nuscience, review?