So reviews are slow but I have faith in this story! So much so that I have all the way up to chapter TEN finished, so if you want more, you gotta let me know ;) I like this chapter, but then again, I like them all...

Chapter 3

There's a storm the second night Amanda's there, and it brings no sleep to Olivia. The blonde watches as her friend paces in front of the back door, occasionally checking her garden. It's nearing 3 AM and they were both tired.

"Liv, plants are supposed to go through different weather patterns.. they'll be okay." Amanda tries to assure her, but she knows the words are for naught. She watches as Olivia bites her lip, and after she checks outside again, the younger woman finally gets up and walks over to Olivia. "Please come sit down.. You're making me anxious." She smiles, taking Olivia's hand and pulling her to the couch.

She doesn't hesitate in wrapping her arms around the older woman.

"I just worked so hard on it." The brunette whispers, letting her body sink into Amanda's warm embrace. "I don't know what I would do if it was ruined."

Amanda rests her chin on brown hair and she lets out a breathy laugh. "If it's ruined, we'll just plant more."

"We?"

"Yes."

It's quiet between them, but it's no longer awkward. That fizzled away overnight, thankfully. They revel in the closeness for a few moments, and then Amanda speaks. "Why is the garden so important?" She asks lightly. "I mean, other than the fact that you worked hard on it."

"My therapist.. said that I should find a hobby. For when I think of what Lewis did to me.. You know? So I took up gardening. Everytime I think of him or what he did, I plant something."

It makes sense now. How Olivia rushed to plant those winter flowers the day before, the way she looks at them, the care she puts into tending to them.

"I wish I knew to do that." She says mindlessly, and she regrets it. She doesn't want to bring up her own problems while Olivia is so anxious.

"Back in Atlanta?" The brunette murmurs, looking up at Amanda. Blue mixes with brown, and Amanda smiles slightly, nodding. She doesn't speak. She wants Olivia to talk. "You know.. Everyone used to tell me how strong I was. Before Lewis. I was Badass Benson. Now.. now I can't help but think about how weak I am. I'm not a cop anymore.. I'm alone, cooped up in my home, too scared to go into town more than I need to.. It's pathetic." She laughs sardonically, laying her head back down on Amanda's shoulder. Surprisingly, she doesn't pull away from the comforting embrace, and Amanda is glad, because she doesn't want the older woman to see the pain and sorrow on her face.

"What happened to you doesn't make you weak, Olivia. It makes you a survivor. You know that." She assures, squeezing Olivia's waist. "Just because you aren't as.. resilient and tough as before, doesn't mean you won't be again. You just gotta work through things first."

She feels the older woman's eyelashes flutter against her jaw and she holds in a contented sigh. She could be like this forever, just right here with Olivia.

"You know.." The brunette starts shyly, picking at the hem of her sleep shirt. "Part of the reason why I said yes to going on a date with you is that right there. How you use your words and understand."

"If not for my dashing good looks, then for my way with words." Amanda states cockily.

"Okay, that was definitely not a reason why. I can tell you that." The brunette laughs. Amanda smiles, glad that the older woman is feeling better.

She smirks, "It stopped storming."

"I didn't even notice." Olivia hums, not making an effort to move.

"Do you wanna check on the garden?" Amanda asks, sinking further into the couch and banding her arms fully around Olivia's waist.

"We can in the morning."

And for the second time in as many days, they fall asleep entwined on Olivia's medium sized couch, completely content in each other's arms.

….

She wakes up to the smell of coffee and bacon. It's bright in the living room, and on any other day in New York, it would automatically put her in a bad mood. But here, in Olivia's home, it's heaven.

"You up?" Amanda hears, and she notices that Olivia's voice is lighter.

"Yeah. Smells good."

"I made you some coffee and I'm working on breakfast right now."

Amanda gets up, stretching her tight limbs, and makes her way into the kitchen. "Did we both sleep on the couch?"

"Yeah, but I didn't sleep long. I was up by seven."

She smiles and watches as the older woman pushes eggs around in the pan. Once again, she thinks that she can do this, be here, forever.

"You don't have to do all this, Liv. I can make my own food." She smiles, helping the by taking down plates and glasses as the brunette finishes up the food. Where they're at right now paints a domestic picture, and it brings a wave of warmth to the blonde. This is where she wanted to be from day one.

"What else am I supposed to do at 8 AM? I got hungry and I figured you would be too." That's that. Amanda takes it and soon, they're at their usual spots at the small kitchen table, chatting mindlessly about little things. As Olivia speaks about how she found this house, why she decided to move here, she can't help but notice small details. A freckle on the older woman's top lip, a scar just under the arch of her left brow, and her new favorite, small flecks of gold peppering the deep brown of her eyes.

Only in this pure New Mexico lighting does she notice those small details. Only here will she let them affect her so much.

"Amanda?"

She's drawn from her thoughts by Olivia's soft voice, and she hums, shoving a forkful of lukewarm eggs into her mouth in a bad attempt to clear her thoughts. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

"...I was just asking if your food was okay. You weren't eating it."

Amanda shakes her head and takes another bite. "No, it's good. I was just thinkin'." She murmurs around her eggs.

"About what?"

Be honest? Or make something up?

"A lot of things." She sighs, looking down at her food. "I don't know. As selfish as it is, there's a part of me that wished you and I could um.. pursue things earlier on." It's not like Olivia doesn't know how she feels, the blonde thinks. "But then I think that things would be worse now if we did."

Olivia takes a sip of her tea, nodding slightly. Amanda thinks she may have made things uncomfortable, and she's about to say something else, but Olivia speaks up.

"I don't know how things would've gone if we'd started anything sooner than we had. Nothing was even really started.. You know?" The words sting. Amanda's mind tells her to retreat, change the subject or get the hell outta dodge. "I can't help but want you here with me though.. And that has to mean something. Right?" She adds, shrugging sheepishly.

"I'm always here for you, Liv. As a friend and as more. Whatever you want." She thinks her undying devotion to this woman, this once broken, now mending woman, might be scary, but the fact that said woman was almost taken from her, clears all other thoughts away. She'll do whatever it takes.

….

The sun is out fully, later that day. Big, white, puffy clouds dot the sky, and Amanda has never seen it like this. Clouds so low you could almost touch them, sun out but the breeze cools it's harsh rays. It smells like rain, maybe from earlier or maybe a sign of what's to come. She doesn't mind it though.

She unashamedly watches Olivia, sipping a tall glass of lemonade that is supposed to be for the other woman who is on her knees in the dirt, tending to her garden.

"So how many pairs of jeans do you ruin doing that?" She calls, squinting against the bright sun. She can't help the beaming smile that crosses her face when Olivia looks up, brushes the hair away from her forehead and wiping a dark streak of dirt across her otherwise perfectly tanned skin.

Which, Amanda notices, has gotten much darker since the last time she saw her in new york.

"I have designated gardening clothes, thank you very much." Olivia sasses, standing up and shucking off her gloves. "Isn't that my lemonade?"

"I got thirsty."

The brunette rolls her eyes and snags the glass, bringing to her lips and downing nearly half in one go.

Amanda is mesmerized by the way the chords and muscles of Olivia's neck moves as she drinks, a light sheen of sweat glistening in the afternoon sunshine.

"I set up lunch before I came out here." The blonde states, subconsciously reaching up to wipe the dirt off the older woman's forehead. "Take a break and come eat."

She's expecting a smart retort, or even a mere eye roll, but she's awarded neither. A simple smile and nod is what she gets.

And, dare she say it? Eyes full of something sweet.

Olivia makes herself a sandwich, chock full of veggies and condiments and meat. She eats like it's her first and last meal, quite comically if Amanda is honest, and is done before the blonde can finish half of her own sandwich.

"Hungry much?"

Olivia smirks and shrugs, then moves to the back door to kick off her shoes. "I think I'm going to take a shower." She pauses for a moment, as if she's contemplating something, then adds, "After, maybe.. we could talk?"

About what? Amanda wants to ask. She almost does, but she figures that Olivia will tell her soon enough.

"Of course. Take your time."

And as her friend walks off down the hall she's growing familiar with, she can't help but think that they have all the time in the world.