Agni Kan Koishii

Chapter 3

So, I have to apologize for skipping around the timeline so much, but I just didn't know any other way to develop the story the way that I wanted to. I, as some of my readers know, cannot write ANYTHING without developing a strong precedent for everybody's behavior. I promise that I do have a plot buried in here and that this is NOT just a bunch of smutty drabbles, but each chapter does take place after a significant amount of time has passed. Also, a few readers were kind enough to alert me to a bit of confusion that they had about the religious canon I am trying to develop here. To explain, the Fire God Agni powerfully condemns any kind of masochism in the same way that, say, Catholicism condemns sodomy. It is just one of the rules of sexual behavior in the fire nation and to allow one's self to be harmed by a lover is considered a terrible sin. I felt the need to really establish the traditions I have created for the fire nation since the whole basis of this story is the bond of Kan Koishii, which is usually a same sex relationship. By the way, this whole idea is not one that I made up, but was taken from cultures such as Sparta, Feudal Japan and Rome (where, of course, any kind of sex was accepted!). I'm weird, I know, but writing this is just too much fun to give up! This chapter takes place during the time the Avatar and his friends spend on Ember Island as Aang struggles to find a non-violent solution to the stopping Ozai. Please read and PLEASE review, it is nice to know that I am not just spewing fiction into the void. Thank you to everyone who has read and commented on this story so far!

Dear Uncle,

I hope that this hawk finds you and that you are well, wherever you are. He is one of the few of your personal hawks that survived my sister's sadism, even though she killed his mate. When I left, I could not bear to leave him behind. I am sorry that I allowed your beloved pets to come to harm but, I have much more than that to apologize for. I have tried all these years to harden my heart. I have failed. Watching your hawk standing over the blackened remains of his mate was the last straw. I have discovered that you are the only member of my family who has any honor left. I tried so hard to regain my honor and position within our family only find that the nobility of my family and my nation has become a lie. In trying to find my lost pride, I have lost myself.

I cannot tolerate any further evil and so I have left my country to find the Avatar and help him if I can. I have confronted my father and renounced him. I was not injured. Only your teachings were able to save my life against my father's assault, but it was close. I was able to redirect the lightning just as you taught me. Still, I know now why you allowed yourself to be imprisoned rather than to go free in shame. I owe you a great debt. The heart I try so hard not to have is broken. Mai is damned for the love of my sister and Azula has no soul to damn anyway. Perhaps I am damned too, but I can no longer simply stand by and do nothing! As for my father, well, I have no father except for you whom I have shamed greatly. I have abandoned the Fire Nation. I can no longer stand being here, you were right all along. I was a fool not to listen!

I am well, that is all I can say for now. The Fire Lord is planning something awful, something far beyond the scope of war. Using the power of Sozin's comet, Lord Ozai plans to not only attack the Earth kingdom; he plans to obliterate it. He will burn the entire country to the ground. All the men, women, children, animals even plants will be destroyed! I must help the avatar stop this atrocity and I hope that is your aim as well. Be safe Uncle.

Zuko

"There, that is how it is done!" Sokka said coldly, wiping the mellon juice from his glittering blade. The severed head of the dummy lay grotesquely at his feet, a grim reminder of tasks still undone.

Aang looked sick and turned away as Sokka strode angrily from the practice field. Zuko felt his lips compress into a harsh line of disapproval, but said nothing as the young Avatar stared at the broken melon. Nothing he had to say would make any difference anyway. Aang couldn't do it, not even in practice. The avatar just didn't have it in him to kill the Firelord. Zuko felt his heart constrict with terror. They were going to die. All of them were going to die. He had failed. Zuko turned away to hide his face from the group and took a deep breath to still his nerves. He had time. He could convince the Avatar that killing his father was necessary and that was all he really needed to do. He had to convince him! Aang was powerful, terrifyingly powerful, and once faced with a situation he couldn't evade the boy would do what was needed. Zuko just had prepare him. With a sigh almost as heavy as one of Mai's, the prince walked away from the group to gather his thoughts. Two days was simply not enough time.

The sun was bright, but Zuko's thoughts hung in deep shadow. He had given up everything to help the Avatar! His country, his throne, his people…Mai…all betrayed because Zuko had joined Aang and now the little airbender just couldn't bring himself to kill the one person in the world who most deserved it? Zuko spat a ball of flame into the air in frustration. The prince walked without any real destination in mind, anything to try to quiet his rampant feelings. However, Zuko had not walked far when he heard the sound of a blade whistling through the air.

Cursing himself for not paying better attention to his surroundings, Zuko silently lowered himself into a crouch. It sounded like a battle was being fought close by, but Zuko could only feel the vibrations of a single set of feet through the ground beneath his fingers. The prince narrowed his eyes. How could someone be fighting…by themselves? There was another great crack and the unmistakable hiss of a sword moving through the air. Zuko couldn't see anything through the dense forest underbrush, but he knew that the fighters were close. Slowly, carefully, Zuko shifted his body to try to peer around the trees blocking his view. If they really were under attack, he had to warn the others with as much information as he could gather without being seen. Prepared for the worst, Zuko still gasped quietly at the spectacle before him.

Sokka stood in a clearing that had surely not been there a few minute ago. Sapling trees and tall bamboo, all neatly sliced in two, were flung like matchwood around the quivering figure of the swordsman. It was like a forest in which a tornado had touched down, the trees and underbrush splintered and scattered across the ground. Sokka stood staring at a tall oak, a tree far too large for even the razor edge of his space sword to cleave. The youth ground his teeth in frustration and Zuko noted with shock that his cheeks were wet with tears. His arms still quivered from the exertion, but his posture was firm and angry. Zuko contemplated simply sneaking away, but Sokka had become something like a friend and Zuko did not want the youth to think he was spying. With a rough cough, Zuko stepped into the disaster that had once been part of the forest. Sokka turned with a snarl, but lowered his sword when he saw the prince. His eyes looked even more brilliantly blue from the redness surrounding them. Usually Sokka's eyes were warm with laughter, but now they were as cold and distant as the ice of his homeland. Zuko held up his hands and approached slowly.

"I am sorry to disturb you." The prince said quietly. Sokka glared at him, but relaxed out of his battle stance.

"Just had to let off some steam. You of all people ought to understand." Sokka spat bitterly.

"I'll…I'll go." Zuko mumbled awkwardly.

"Wait…um…I'm sorry. I'm mad at Aang, not you." Sokka said, wiping the back of his hand over his reddened eyes with a sigh.

"I am frustrated with him too, but…I think he will do the right thing." Zuko said, hoping he sounded reassuring instead of confused. He had never been good with people.

"Yeah. Aang's a really good guy it just…I don't know! We have all lost friends and family and…he's just being so damn selfish! I mean granted, killing somebody is a big deal and all. Still, how can he be so worried about his stupid airbender monk stuff when people are dying! My sister could die!" Sokka shouted, heaving his sword at the tree again. With a loud crack the oak repulsed the sword once again, chips of wood flying everywhere.

"Aang would not let that happen. He loves Katara. Everyone can tell." Zuko said, trying to be cheerful and failing miserably. Sokka rolled his eyes, gingerly stepping over some of the shattered wood. Zuko sighed. How had he managed to end up in this conversation anyway?

"Maybe. Maybe he loves her, if a thirteen something year old can even know what love is. Still, that doesn't save Suki, now does it?" Sokka said bitterly, sitting down in the only spot free of the wreckage.

"Listen…I am not so great at this stuff, but Uncle always used to say that fights with your Kan Koishii are the worst. I cannot believe that Aang would let you or Suki or anybody die for his sake." Zuko said with what he hoped was a smile. From the look on Sokka's face it was probably more like a wince.

"My…Kan Koishii? What's that?" Sokka said, his glacial eyes blank. Zuko mentally slapped himself.

"Um…He isn't? You two seem so close…" Zuko stuttered, his cheeks burning. So much for a few words of encouragement, the prince thought glumly.

He had been sure that Sokka and Aang were Kan Koishii. Sure, Aang was too young, but they were in the middle of a war! Besides, almost everyone at least knew who their Kan Koishii would be when they got old enough to choose. By the time they were Aang's age, most people had already chosen somebody and were just waiting for their sixteenth birthday to make it official. Some people, like Azula he thought bitterly, didn't even bother to wait. The way that Aang and Sokka laughed together so easily and communicated so well… The firebender had just assumed that they were bonded.

"What is a Kan Koishii?" Sokka asked again, his rage forgotten. Almost any emotion for Sokka was easily squashed by curiosity. Zuko groaned. Damn it!

"Um…It's a…Fire Nation thing. Don't worry about it." Zuko said, feeling his face get even redder.

With a sort of awkward nod, the firebender turned and walked back to the house just a bit too quickly. The younger water tribesman watched the prince leave in confusion. What had started out as an awkward little man to man chat had somehow turned into something scary (or embarrassing) enough to have Zuko practically running away. Sokka sat in the clearing and pondered. Zuko wasn't easily ruffled and the mere mention of Kan Koishii had made him blush. Sokka could not remember ever seeing Zuko blush unless he was mad. That meant that the whole Kan Koishii thing was kind of a secret, probably a dirty secret! Sokka smirked. What kind of dirty secret could old sparky have? The possibilities were endless! Sokka could feel the curiosity practically burning a whole right through his brain

"Aang, what's a Kan Koishii?" Sokka asked. Aang opened his eyes where he was meditating and placed a thoughtful finger against his chin.

"I'm not exactly sure. The air nomads didn't have Kan Koishii, but I'm pretty sure I heard about it one time from monk Giatsu. It's like a Fire Nation ritual or something. It's a really old custom though, a hundred years at least." Aang said thoughtfully. Sokka huffed.

"Well, what does it mean?" Sokka asked impatiently.

"Well, monk Giatsu said it was an adult thing." The Avatar said with a shrug, as if that answered everything.

"Adult thing as in…how?" Sokka pressed.

"I dunno. Like maybe having to do with kissing? I told you, I'm not really sure. Monk Giatsu only said, that because I was the Avatar I couldn't have a Kan Koishii, but that it wasn't a big deal because the air nomads didn't do that sort of thing anyway. I guess Avatar Rohku had a really tough time because he couldn't have a Kan Koishii though. It's probably something important, but only in the Fire Nation." The airbender said, shrugging again.

"Hmmm…"

"Hey Toph, have you ever heard of Kan Koishii." Sokka asked the diminutive girl as she practiced shattering large stones. Toph figured that if she could perfect the technique she could use simple rocks as bombs. From what Sokka could see, it seemed to be working pretty well.

"It's a Fire Nation thing." Toph said, idly causing a nearby boulder to erupt into thousands of needle sharp shards. Sokka winced.

"Yeah, I know, but what does it mean?" Sokka asked.

"Well, I guess it's like boyfriend and girlfriend. Like a crush, you know?" Toph said, shrugging. Sokka felt his jaw drop.

"What?" Sokka gasped.

"What's the matter Snoozles? Your heart rate just went up by like twenty beats!" Toph asked crossing her arms in confusion.

"Zuko…he thought that Aang and I were… Kan Koishii." Sokka said, feeling all the more confused by the second.

"Um…if you haven't noticed…Sparky's a little off. Maybe that scar damaged his brain." Toph said, whirling a finger beside her own head.

"Hey Katara, do you know what a Kan Koishii is?" Sokka asked his sister as she folded some laundry.

"No." Katara replied without looking up.

"Why does no one know?" Sokka said with a huff, crossing his arms petulantly.

"Probably because it's not something you should be poking your nose into." Katara said, looking her brother sternly in the eye.

"Oh, come on! It can't be something that serious!"

"Well," Suki said, "It's actually pretty serious."

"So you know what it means!" Sokka said, hugging her with delight. Suki giggled, only Sokka would get so excited about finding a proper translation for something.

"Yeah, it's a tradition practiced on Kyoshi too. Only, on Kyoshi only the women have a Kan Koishii. We call it, Koishii Ona." Suki said smiling as Sokka directed all of his attention to her. He was so easily entertained.

"Well, tell me how it works!" Sokka practically begged.

"Well, when you get to be old enough to start having…you know…romantic feelings, then you choose a Kan Koishii. The person is usually someone you have been friends with all along. It has to be somebody that you really trust and you stay close to that person for your whole life. A Kan Koishii helps you to understand all the new feelings. They are somebody you can go to for support if you end up being in a bad marriage or if you need help." Suki explained.

"Oh, so like a best friend." Sokka said enthusiastically.

"Um…no. A Kan Koishii is more than a friend…it's a person's best friend and first lover. On Kyoshi its kind of like practice for marriage, only there aren't any rules. A person will have their Kan Koishii after marriage too, the bond is for life." Suki said, looking uncomfortable. Somehow, she was beginning to suspect that the southern water tribe didn't have any customs even remotely similar.

"Oh, so you're supposed to have a lover before you get married? That's weird. Doesn't that make marriage agreements kind of difficult? Wouldn't a future husband feel jealous?" Sokka asked, feeling suddenly jealous himself. He wondered if Suki had a Kan Koishii already waiting for her back on the island. If she did, he would definitely beat him up.

"Um…no…because a Kan Koishii is the same sex you are. Like a woman with a woman. Usually, not always, like I said there aren't any rules." Suki, stuttered, trying to explain. Sokka's jaw dropped.

"So when Zuko thought Aang was my Kan Koishii…he thought we were…like…sleeping together?" Sokka asked, turning green. Suki sighed.

"Probably." She said, cupping her face in her hand and waiting for the explosion. She could not believe he was reacting to the custom so poorly. The water tribe had many customs that were just as strange…and definitely more stupid.

"That….That…That is SOOOOOOOOOO gross! I mean, with Aang? He's like a kid and…it's Aang! Eeeeuuuuuwwww! No wonder everybody's at war with the Fire Nation! They're all completely nuts!" Sokka shrieked.

"Not everyone is as prudish as the Water Tribe, you know." Suki said, somewhat irately. Sokka looked at her suddenly, his blue eyes full of suspicion.

"Oh no! Oh no, Suki tell me that you… No way! You don't have a Kan Koishii do you?" Sokka asked, his voice cracking. Suki began to scowl.

"Sure I did! If you DON'T have a Kan Koishii it means you're either, like, a horrible criminal whose lover can no longer stand you or a total social cripple. Of course I had a Kan Koishii." Suki said, annoyed.

"So, you've been…what…cheating on me this entire time?" Sokka asked, crossing his arms over his chest in a gesture Suki was sure he copied from his father. She took a deep breath.

"No, Sokka. It isn't cheating. Having a Kan Koishii does not have anything to do with the romantic relationships you form with men. Or boys if they still insist on acting like children." Suki said.

"No Suki, men would not let their girlfriends just run around kissing, or worse, with other girls. Maybe on Kyoshi it's okay for girls to make out with other girls, but it is not okay with me! In the water tribe, we actually have men who act like men!" Sokka said through his teeth.

"Oh, so my father wasn't a real man in your opinion?" Suki asked angrily.

"I…I did not mean that. Still, if you really love me you will stop…whatever it is you are doing with this girl!" Sokka shouted.

"Don't worry about that! I don't spend any time with Hana anymore," Her voice cracked, "I had a Kan Koishii and you know what Sokka? I LOVED her. I loved her just as much as I love you and I miss her. She…she is not with me anymore." Suki sighed looking at the ground as she felt her eyes begin to burn.

"Do you kiss her, Suki? Have you…have you slept with her? Did you ever think of even talking to me? Wait, what do you mean not anymore? Did she break up with you?" Sokka asked cruelly, one eye brow raised.

He was not just being dramatic anymore. Suki could see the anger building in his eyes, but it just made her all the more frustrated. Sokka was scratching the scars off healing wound that he did not even know were there. He was insulting something that he did not even understand! Just because the water tribe was too cold hearted to have any kind of love before marriage, it didn't mean that EVERYONE had to be trapped that way!

"No! You don't 'break up' with a Kan Koishii, Sokka! I already told you! A Kan Koishii is a partner for life! I…She…Hana died." Suki said, standing quickly and turning away from him to hide the hot tears coursing down her cheeks.

Sokka was stunned. Nothing in his experience had prepared him for this. Suki stood with her back to him, her shoulders shaking in both sorrow and frustration. Clearly he had messed up somehow, but he still wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Apparently, his girlfriend whom he loved like crazy had already spent time kissing, and Neptune only knew what else, with some other girl who was supposed to be her girlfriend for life. Sokka took a deep breath. The whole thing was so strange and disturbing, but as he watched Suki sob he discovered that he didn't care. The girl he loved had lost someone important, someone whom she had loved deeply. Who was he to say that this Hana girl had been any less important to her than Gran Gran or Katara was to him? Slowly, Sokka came behind Suki and wrapped her in his arms. He could feel her ragged sobs all the way through his body. Suki had never cried this way in all the time that he had known her and suddenly Sokka felt like a super jerk for being so angry.

"Suki, I'm sorry. I'm a total jerk. I just don't understand…please…please help me to understand." Sokka whispered frantically into her hair, squeezing her tightly. Suki shook her head and moaned, tears making her hair cling wetly to her face. She cried for a long time, her body shaking in his arms and Sokka did not know what to do. He held her and apologized and simply let her cry. Finally, her tears finally subsiding into quiet sobs, Suki collapsed back into his arms.

"Oh Sokka! She's dead! I can't believe she's dead! Oh God! I thought I was going to die to and…and I even wanted to die so that I could see her again! I…I…need her! She's dead!" Suki sobbed, her whole body shaking with sorrow. Sokka let her cry, somehow sensing that she had been holding this in for a long time.

"Shhhh. It's okay. I'm here." Sokka crooned to her as he crumpled down around her, resting the grieving girl in his lap.

Suki sobbed into her hands, letting him rock her. She had promised Hana that she wouldn't cry, that she would escape and fight and be happy. She hadn't shed a single tear since the night Hana died. Suki felt the wound in her heart open and gush with even greater force than before. How could she know that Sokka would ask her such a weird question? How was she supposed to know that he would be angry? That he would be so stupid? Suki wailed, her promise to her Kan Koishii broken. Yet, how long could she have sealed off the pain? How long before Hana's death finally reached her? Even though he had been a jerk, Suki was glad Sokka was with her. After a long time the ragged sobs quieted and Sokka pressed a gentle kiss to her neck.

"Tell me about her Suki. Tell me what she was like." Sokka whispered. Suki took a deep breath.

"She was beautiful! So beautiful! I had known her since we were little, but she was always beautiful to me. I think you saw her once. She had long dark hair and really pretty hazel eyes. She was a couple years older than me and she was the one to help me learn Aikido. When I became a Kyoshi warrior, she asked me to be her Kioshii Ona and I thought I was going to die I was so happy…" Suki broke off with a sob. Sokka held her, pressing his cheek to her shoulder. He did vaguely remember a tall, dark haired girl who had always seemed to be just a step behind Suki. That must have been Hana.

"Was she a great warrior?" Sokka asked softly.

"The greatest! I was better, you know… more talented, but Hana just had so much grace in the way she moved. When she fought it was like she wasn't even trying. She was a wonderful singer too! She sang to me before we went to sleep every night, singing about how she loved me and how beautiful I was. I was so shy when I was younger, but Hana taught me to be fierce. She…she said that pride well earned was a treasure to be shared with everyone. It wasn't like she was soft with me either. When I made a mistake, she was the one to tell me that I would get killed that way and force me to repeat the whole set! Once, she made me practice this move like a hundred times until I got it right! I owe everything I am to Hana." Suki said, smiling through her tears.

"How did she die?" Sokka asked gently. Suki sobbed hard before answering.

"At Boiling Rock…some of the guards…well…they really liked me. They always looked at me like a piece of meat they wanted to tear apart. Those men would always watch when I bathed and…sometimes they tried to touch me. Hana was always there to protect me…but…but one day I had gone off by myself to see another Kyoshi warrior who had gotten sick. It was late at night and I left the bed without waking her. I tended to the girl and I was headed back when…when he grabbed me. I fought him Sokka! I fought him so hard, but there were at least six of them and I just couldn't take them all by myself. They ripped my clothes…and…and then Hana was there! She was like some kind of warrior angel! She sprang out of the night just as I was getting too exhausted to fight and she fought them. She destroyed them! Each and every man fell before her, but the one holding me was a fire bender and he said he would burn me if she didn't stop. Hana stopped for just a moment and looked at him and she looked…I don't know…she looked exultant. It was like she knew what would happen and didn't care because she had already figured out how to save me. She leapt and… she was so graceful… she threw herself between me and the guard's body just as his hands ignited. She crouched around me and let the fire burn her. There was so much fire and I was screaming, but she never stopped smiling that…that victorious smile. When I finally came to my senses the guard was dead and Hana was badly injured. She had used her own body to force all of his fire back against him, but her whole back was burned to the bone." Suki said, with a shudder.

Sokka gasped, he couldn't even imagine having the skill to kill a firebender that way. It was the ultimate expression of the Kyoshi martial arts, redirecting something like fire back at a bender. Hana must have been an extremely skilled warrior. Hana had also loved Suki very much…she had sacrificed herself to save his Suki. Sokka felt his own eyes fill with tears at the thought.

"I nursed her for a night and a day, but I knew she wouldn't make it. One of the nicer guards even brought us clean bandages and hot water, but the wound became infected. She was so badly burned that she didn't even feel the pain. Before she died, she…she said that I couldn't cry for her. She said that she was happy to die this way…protecting someone she loved. She said…that she would see me in Valhalla…" Suki gasped as the tears poured forth, "She died in my arms…two days before you came."

"Well, I didn't know Hana, but I wish I had. I know you and I love you Suki. If Hana helped to make you who you are, then I guess I love her too." Sokka said, and kissed her.