Okay. Change of plans. I'm going to make another chapter so it's going to be a four-chapter story. :") It's okay right? I'm going to write about their own future! Wiiiiee! I'm so excited! Hahaha! Okay... enjoy reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice and it's amazing characters.
A Change In Time
Chapter III: Future
Recap:
Hotaru glared at the door. "Hyuuga, open this door or I'll break it down."
"H-Hotaru, calm down." Ruka placed his hand on her shoulder to calm her down.
"Ruka, that idiot cousin of mine is irritating the hell out of me! Aunty and Uncle is pestering me to help that idiot. They're worried about him so much that they keep on calling me. No matter how much help you give to someone who doesn't want to be helped, all your efforts will only be wasted in the end." Hotaru said in anger before putting out one of her inventions.
"What he needs isn't a talk but a hit on the head to wake him up and make him face the truth." She said before activating her invention. It was something that looks like a canon.
Hotaru fired and the door broke down.
Hotaru went inside followed by Ruka and Aoi who both looked frustrated and worried. Natsume walked inside with the woman and saw someone sitting at the floor facing the window.
"Hey,"
Slowly, he turned his head away from the window and looked at the intruders. Natsume's eyes widened at the person he was seeing. What the hell is going on? Who is this person?
"Natsume..."
End of Recap
"Natsume..." Ruka called but in a mutter.
The guy he called "Natsume" simply glanced at them blankly before returning his gaze on the view outside. Natsume was stunned at the sight. "Natsume" looked like he barely took a bath, barely ate, and never bothered to groom himself. He looked like he haven't gotten any sleep for days. He was even wearing a ragged shirt and an old pajama which he never wore in his entire life and wouldn't be caught dead ever wearing one.
This "Natsume" in front of him feels very different... and strange. Is this guy supposed to be his future self? This guy who doesn't do a thing except to gaze outside the window with dead eyes? That can't be, can it? What year is this future anyway?
Natsume roamed his eyes around his room. The once neat room looked like it wasn't cleaned for a while now. Clothes strewn all over the floor, bed and some on the night stand. A tray of food left untouched on the floor just beside the guy who has his back leaning on the bed.
"Onii-chan. Why didn't you eat your food?" Aoi worriedly asked but all she got was silence. Natsume didn't react. He didn't even blink. It was like talking to air.
"Please eat, Natsume! You'll get sick if you continue being like this." Ruka added.
"..."
"Stop hurting yourself, onii-chan!"
Aoi and Ruka's pleas were ignored. If Natsume continue to do exactly as what he had done these past few months, the weaker he'll become and more worried they'll get. It was hard to reach him now. He was there but at the same time he was not.
He's near yet so far.
Hotaru stood beside him. She calmed herself before speaking. She knew anger wouldn't do anyone any good especially at that moment. "It's been a year, Natsume. How long are you gonna imprison yourself in the past?"
"..."
"There are still people who needs you. Stop throwing your life away."
Hotaru felt the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. Even though they weren't the closest cousins and though it seemed to be the opposite, Hotaru cared for her cousin and seeing him suffer silently like this felt like she just lost a brother. A brother she never got along with.
She was answered with silence again.
"Snap out of it!" Hotaru crouched in front of him and shook his shoulders but it proved to be a futile effort since his dead eyes continued to stare outside.
"Oi!"
Staring to lose patience, she continued. "She hates seeing you like this, Hyuuga!"
"You don't know what she wants..." He finally replied but his eyes never left the window. His raspy voice sounded like it's been a while since he last spoke.
Hotaru gritted her teeth, "Of course I know what she wants. I'M HER BEST FRIEND. I STILL AM! I KNOW HER BETTER THAN ANYONE!" she yelled as her tears finally fell. As Hotaru Imai's tears flowed out once again in front of them.
"I love her..."
BAKA!
Hotaru hit him square in the head with the infamous gun. She had lost patience with her cousin. "And so what of it?"
Ignoring that he had just been hit, he continued gazing out the window. "I love her."
BAKA! BAKA!
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST YOU REPEAT IT? I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!" Hotaru shouted while Natsume replied with the same sentence and the same cold raspy voice of his.
"Hotaru..." Ruka and Aoi stepped forward to calm Hotaru down but was met by a threatening glare of hers.
"Don't."
A single word yet it feels like a hundred threats.
Ruka and Aoi wanted to protest but couldn't. Hotaru Imai's threats isn't something that could ever be considered a joke. Although they wanted to stop her, they knew that only Hotaru understands, even a little bit, of Natsume's pain.
"Tell me, dear cousin. What did your love do for her?" Hotaru questioned and not only Natsume flinched at her sudden question, Ruka as well as Aoi's eyes widened but the two knew that it's too late to stop Hotaru. She had lost it.
Not receiving any answer, she continued. "No one blames you except for yourself. We all know how much you love her. You wouldn't be like this if you hadn't."
Hotaru gritted her teeth in irritation, "To be honest, I want to blame you for hurting her, for tossing her aside. I want to be mad at you. I want to hit you in the face till it became unrecognizable!"
Hotaru wiped the tears from her face and stared at him straight in the eyes. And this time, Natsume finally met her stare.
His eyebrows drawn together. "I'm already suffering."
"I know, but I'm not satisfied. I want to be the one who will cause you misery not yourself." Hotaru managed to smirk despite their situation. Something that secretly relieved Aoi and Ruka.
"It's my fault," he whispered.
Natsume couldn't look at any of them in the eyes. He punched the floor but because he hadn't eaten properly for days, it looked like a light tap of his knuckles on the floor. A truly pathetic display, he thought.
"IT'S MY DAMN FAULT, HOTARU!"
He gritted his teeth as his tears fell uncontrollably and his sobs resounded the room. His other hand clutched his chest as he muttered "my fault" continuously. Nothing could perfectly describe the pain he was feeling. It was as if all the pain from that day returned and so did the memories.
And the surprising thing was, Hotaru hugged him back. She cradled his head to her chest and cried with him.
"Would you look at that. Who would have thought that these two emotionless people would cry together like this? The two people who never got along with each other are now crying their hearts out." Ruka smiled while watching the scene and Aoi could only nod as she felt her tears ready to fall.
Ruka's smile turned into a sad smile as memories of the past came back. "I guess there is only one person to thank for." Ruka bit his lip to prevent the tears he had been holding for a long long time.
Aoi nodded sadly as she as well thought of the same thing. "Yeah. If only..." She trailed off, unable to finish as her voice refused to come out. She bend down to pick up the newspaper lying at her feet and looked at it with a broken expression.
"Why did it turn out like this? Why did they have to separate?" Aoi wondered in a whisper. Not wanting her brother to hear.
"I don't know, Aoi." Ruka said with a shake of his head. He glanced sadly at the two cousins again and muttered, "I don't know."
"W-wha... What is this?" With eyebrows pressed tightly together, Natsume turned his head to the woman's direction. Confusion and anxiousness showed in his eyes. He felt a heavy feeling with this future.
"Are you ready to go on?" The woman ignored his question and instead gave him another.
"We're already going back?" Natsume frowned. Just seeing that part of the future isn't enough for him to understand anything. It only made him more confused.
The woman shook her head. "No. We're not yet done watching your future. What I mean is, are you ready to know the answers to your questions about this future?"
And again, without hesitation, Natsume nodded. "Yes."
"Then let's proceed."
With a snap of her fingers, they were out of the mansion and back to his company building. At first, Natsume thought they were back at the present but seeing his secretary's digital clock told him that it's the day after he met the woman.
"It's the day it all began," the woman said.
Natsume looked at the woman. She was smiling. A strange smile. That was all he could see from her face, her lips. He doesn't know why but seeing her smile, he felt it was familiar. Like he had seen it before.
"What do you mean?"
Instead of answering, the woman pointed at the direction of the hallway where Mikan was walking to where they were currently standing. The secretary's desk and in front of Natsume's office.
She looked determined just like him. Determined to have her questions answered.
Mikan smiled at the secretary who bowed respectfully. "I won't take no for an answer today. I need to talk to him."
"B-but..." the secretary hesitated.
"Don't worry! I'll barge in and you will pretend to stop me. If I don't do that, knowing him, he won't even let me in." She assured him.
Natsume glanced at his secretary. He still doesn't know what to do.
"Please? I really need to talk to him. Besides, it's been months since I've last seen him." Mikan smiled sadly and the secretary's eyes filled with sympathy.
After all, he knows how much pain Mikan is feeling more than anyone in this company. He always saw the pain and sadness in her eyes everytime she was was pushed away and ignored by his boss.
"I... understand."
Mikan's face brightened. "Really?"
The secretary smiled and replied with a nod. "If I may, I have a favor to ask."
"What is it?"
"Please save him, Sakura-san!" He bowed in front of her which surprised Mikan. "I don't know how much longer his body can withstand all the work he's doing and the way he is treating himself but if this continues..." He trailed off. Not wanting to say what's next. "Help him, please!"
Mikan's surprised expression turned into happy and relived. She helped him stand straight and she smiled at him. "I'm glad Natsume has someone like you by his side. I don't know if I can but I promise I'll try. Thank you for worrying about him and for always taking care of him!"
It was Mikan's turn to bow sincerely.
"Ah. No, no. It's nothing. Shall we?" Mikan nodded and smiled at him again. At least, for now, she has something to smile sincerely about.
"Let's talk."
Mikan barged in his office followed by Natsume's secretary who pretended to stop her.
"Mr. Kinno, I thought I told you I'm not going to entertain anyone again today?" Natsume asked his secretary who seemed nervous. Mikan scowled. He used that sentence yesterday and he's using it again.
"I forced my way in, obviously." Irritation was obvious in her tone.
Ignoring her, "Get back to work." He ordered his secretary who quickly bowed and left. Mikan glanced at the door before looking back at the raven-haired man in front of her.
"Let's talk," she repeated.
Mikan stood in front of Natsume's desk while he didn't even bother to look up from the papers that needed his signature.
"We're already talking," he stated casually.
And despite their current situation, Mikan suddenly had the urge to roll her eyes but didn't. They wouldn't be able to talk if she would bite the obvious bait and fall into his trap.
"Well then, let me rephrase that. Let's talk. Properly." She emphasized the last word. Natsume, however, looked unaffected and continued what he was doing without bothering to reply.
"Look at me and let's talk, Natsume!" Her voice started to raise as her irritation at being ignored grew. "Or else..." She added.
He replied this time because hearing the usual happy-go-lucky girl and ever so cheerful brunette throw a threat is something that he had never seen before. Yet he still didn't take his eyes away from the freaking paper.
"Or else, what?" He challenged.
Mikan leaned towards his table and neared her face to him while her hand covered the paper he was working on. At this, Natsume finally looked up at her in irritation but his eyes met her serious honey-colored eyes.
"Or else I'll tell Hotaru about 'that' and I'll even provide proofs." She grinned evilly when she saw his narrowed eyes. Got you.
"What the hell do you want?" He hissed.
"Like I had said repeatedly, I want us to talk properly. About us." She still didn't move from her position and he didn't bother to push her away and so she continued.
Her serious expression changed. "What happened to us Natsume?"
Natsume looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You damn well know what I'm talking about." Mikan glared.
He stood up from his seat and loosened his tie as if he has been having a hard time breathing. "If you don't have anything important to talk about then leave. I don't have time for your silly stories Mikan, I have mountain of work to do."
Mikan stood up straight and clenched her fist, anger quickly filling her. "You know, I've heard countless insults and teasing coming from you but none of them angered me as much as what you've just said!"
He stayed silent as if not caring about anything she said while her head was down and her fist shaking in anger. "You don't have time?" She laughed bitterly.
"Stop telling yourself that! You believe you don't have time but in reality, you can make time for even a small conversation. You know what the problem is? Huh? It's you! It's because you don't want to!" She yelled.
Natsume faced her with a glare. "Who do you think I'm doing all this for!"
"I don't know who or why you're doing this? Hear me? I. DON'T. KNOW." She banged her fist on his desk in anger but neither of them care whether the papers Natsume was working on was now on the floor nor the throbbing pain on Mikan's fist.
He looked at her in disbelief. "You don't know? YOU? The reason I even inherited all this! Fuck, Mikan! Everything I did, it was all for you! Just because I wanted you to be happy!" He yelled and pointed at her when he said "you".
Natsume gritted his teeth. "Yet. All this time... You didn't know? I gave up so much... For this. For you..."
"I don't need all these," she interjected.
It was a simple sentence but the weight of those seemed so heavy that he can barely contain his emotions. "I gave my all for this and now you're saying you don't need it? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN WORKING FOR THEN!"
Usually, when Natsume is angry, no one dared to get so close but Mikan was different. She has always been different. Mikan stepped closer and looked up to him allowing him to see the pain she has been hiding.
She raised her hand to touch his face, "I understand that you want the best for me. But Natsume, please understand that nothing could ever make me happy as much as you can." Her tears started to fall.
She continued, her voice soft. "I don't need any of this. I only need you. Having you is enough for me. Please, Natsume. Come back to me."
But it seemed his anger didn't subside and he couldn't hear a thing she said or even understand her words. Thinking of all the months he worked himself out, he didn't have time for himself and for anything. It was all for nothing? Just what the fuck is this, he thought.
"Get out," he said coldly.
He removed her hand from his face and turned his back to her.
"But—" she started but was stopped by his yell.
"I SAID GET OUT!" He turned his head to her only to give her a frightening glare. She whimpered. He had never treated her like this before. She was rooted in her place, her whole body weak.
Seeing her not moving he grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her out. "I don't want to see your face anymore. We're done," was all he said before slamming the door and leaving her on the ground crying.
"Sakura-san!" Natsume's secretary, Mr Kinno, quickly helped her up but it was futile since everytime he helped her up, her knees would wobble and she'll slide down on the floor again.
"Get a hold of yourself, Sakura-san!" Seeing her wailing like a child, he didn't know what to do.
"Ahhhhhhuhh!" Her cries intensified when he hugged her and patted her back in order to comfort her. They remained like that for a while until Mikan calmed down.
Mikan stood up with the help of Mr. Kinno. She sent him a weak smile, "I'm sorry. It seems I can't save him. He won't and will never let me anymore. I'm really sorry." She started sobbing again and all the secretary could do was pat her in the head.
"Thank you for trying," he gave her a smile that eased her pain a little knowing he understood her. "Wait for me. I'll call someone to send you home."
Mikan shook her head.
"I'm okay. I can... can go home by myself." Mikan bowed before she ran out not giving the secretary time to respond.
With Natsume...
He heard. Her sobs and wails outside his office. He heard it all.
As soon as he realized the weight of his words and his actions, he wanted to take it back. He had been stupid and continued to be stupid. He wanted to open the door for her again. He wanted to drag her back inside; to embrace her and tell her he take it all back. He wanted to apologize for hurting her with his words.
He wanted to kiss her.
But there is something that prevents him from slamming that door open and getting her back. It's pride. The time he gave up was no joke. He did it for her yet she didn't even appreciate it. He was confused. He wanted to go out there and get her back but at the same time he wanted to be angry at her. He didn't know what to do, what to feel.
"Mr. Hyuuga, Ms. Sakura just left. I offered to have someone send her home but she refused. I'm worried Mr. Hyuuga. She doesn't look alright to drive herself home. She can barely stand by herself. Mr. Hyuuga? Mr. Hyuuga? Are you there?" Natsume ignored the voice of his secretary from intercom. He wanted to run after her but he was too tired. To tired of it all and too confused to even think right.
And for the first time, Natsume Hyuuga was lost.
Mikan went out of the Hyuuga corp. building, still crying. She ignored all the stares people gave her as she passed them by. And she knew all of them probably has an idea what transpired to make her look like a wreck. She couldn't miss the disappointment, pity and sadness she saw in their faces. Disappointment for their boss, pity for her and sadness for their situation.
Outside, Mikan stopped and turned to look at the building one last time. This might be the last time she's going to this place. It's sad to think that the years they spent with each other ended just like that. That their love was put aside for their pride. If only she fought harder. Fought harder to make him understand her. Fought for him. But she was too weak to even say anything back earlier. She just let him push her away.
With one last glance, Mikan turned her back on her love and left.
Natsume wondered why they were following Mikan as she walked away, still sobbing but he didn't say a thing. He followed Mikan while still holding the woman's hand.
Mikan reached the parking lot and slid inside her car. Natsume and the woman settled themselves at the back and watched her. Mikan rested her head back on her seat and closed her eyes. Waiting for her tears and hiccups to calm down. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes and started the car.
"Why are we here?" Natsume asked.
"Just watch. What happens next will answer all your question. Just wait." The woman replied.
Natsume nodded and observed everything carefully.
The ride was in silence. Natsume glanced at Mikan. Her hands were still shaking but not as much as before. He suddenly wanted to punch himself to wake him up from his own stupidity but he knew he can't.
Mikan's phone suddenly rang breaking the overwhelming silence in the car. She grabbed her phone from the passenger seat with one hand and her eyes still on the road. She breathed in and out deeply before answering the call.
"Hello?"
"Where are you?"
"I'm driving."
"I didn't ask what you're doing. I'm asking where you are."
Mikan sighed. "I'm still in the car, Hotaru. Why did you call?"
"Head to Koko's bar. Your new friend is here."
"Ren's there?" It took a few seconds for Hotaru to answer and Mikan heard someone at the background snickering. Must be Koko.
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay," she said.
Silence.
"Mikan, is there something wrong?" Hotaru asked after she broke that silence.
She wanted to say there is nothing but... Gosh she wish there is nothing!
"N-nothing. It's nothing. I'll be there."
"Okay, liar. We'll just talk when you get here."
Oh damn. This is Hotaru and she knew exactly when she was lying. She's not her best friend for nothing. "Okay. Bye." then she hung up.
She tossed her phone back on the passenger seat and focused on her driving. After a minute, her phone vibrated again. It was a text this time. She was about to reach for her phone again but stopped short when her eyes caught something. It was a box. Her eyes went back to the road as she reached for the box.
With one hand on the wheel, she opened the box with the other. Inside is a gold watch with black leather straps. She smiled bitterly as she remembered the person she was supposed to give this to. Oh the irony of it all. She was going to give a watch to a person who think he doesn't have time. Isn't that insulting?
Mikan put down the watch in the box and returned it to where it was previously placed. Glancing at the road to make sure. The road she was taking was where cars rarely pass by and if there is, it would mostly be trucks. She grabbed her phone and opened the new message. She almost dropped her phone when she saw who had texted her.
The text was displayed so Natsume and the woman could see the contents of the message.
From: My KuroNeko❤️
Please come back. Let's talk again.
And just like that, with those simple words. She wanted to swung the car around and fly to him but she was afraid that what happened earlier would happen again. She's afraid of going back just to hurt herself. That nothing could be fixed again this time. Afraid of what more they could possibly do to hurt each other. And though she wanted to go back, she didn't. Even if it took every will power she has just so she wouldn't turn the car around, she kept driving. Her phone vibrated again.
From: My KuroNeko❤️
I'm sorry. Let's talk. Please.
I love you.
The words he used has so much impact on her but not as much as the last word. It's been months, so long, since he had said those three words. Three words, eight letters. I Love You. Without thinking twice, she turned the car around and let the car fly. Her fears and worries vanished as she saw those three words.
Due to the mixed feeling she felt, Mikan sped the car not minding that it started to rain but not fast enough to exceed the speed limit. She didn't know what think. She was uneasy, confused and a little excited to go back to where he is. She wish they could fix this mess again.
"Damn! Slow down, you idiot!" Natsume gritted his teeth at the back. He was getting worried and he felt as if there is something weighing his heart down and drilling his stomach. He's feeling something bad.
"She can't hear you." The woman said calmly.
"I know that but—fuck!" He cursed and his hold on her hand tightened which earned him a protest.
"Hey! That hurts!" She winced and looked down on their intertwined hands. "And stop cursing!"
Natsume ignored her but loosen his grip a little. Lost in her own thoughts, Mikan didn't have time to notice the speeding truck heading her way but the two people sitting at the back did. But only one shouted at the top of his lungs as if everything depends on his yell.
"MIKAN! WATCH OUT!"
Mikan flinched and looked back before everything went black.
—
"—NOOOOOO!" Natsume reached out his hand but stopped when his hand passed through the desk. Yes, desk. They were back at his office and seeing himself pacing in front of him means they were still in the future. He turned to look at the woman but he still couldn't see her face but he knew she was as calm as ever.
"Why the hell are we here!" He yelled. His face is almost as white as sheet as he thought about everything, "Mikan... Mikan, she... She—"
"Calm down. You must see everything without any left out details. You will know what happened here," she answered and pointed to the Natsume who belongs to this future who is visibly uneasy.
"It's been an hour. Did she not read my messages?" The future Natsume muttered and the present one's eyes widened. It's been an hour? Then...
"Damn! Why am I such a jerk? What a bastard!" The future him kicked his desk in frustration. "Maybe she ignored them. I wouldn't be surprised if she did." he muttered to himself.
The future Natsume placed both his hands to his face and continued muttering to himself. "It actually took me one fucking hour to realize what I've done. Really really stupid. Damn idiot!" He said through his teeth.
Natsume's phone suddenly rang and he immediately grabbed the phone from the desk and answered the call without checking the caller ID.
"Hello. Mikan! Please Mikan I—" he started but was interrupted by a sob.
"Hyuuga," said by the caller who is obviously sobbing.
Natsume didn't know why but he suddenly felt nervous and scared with this call from his cousin. "I-imai."
"Hyuuga. Mikan she—"
"What? What happened to her? Where is she? Can I speak to her?" He threw questions as fast as lightning and expected for his cousin to throw him a sarcastic comment or get annoyed but none of that happened.
"No! Mikan..." Hotaru trailed off again and Natsume suddenly felt irritation.
"What the hell is it, Hotaru! I need to talk to her so if this isn't anything important I'll hung up—" but he was never able to continue his sentence with the next words he heard from Hotaru on the phone.
"SHUT THE HELL UP! HOW CAN SHE FREAKING ANSWER YOU WHEN SHE'S IN THE FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM, HANGING BETWEEN LIFE AND MTHRFCKN DEATH!"
Both the future and the present Natsume paled. Despite having a clue, the present Natsume still couldn't believe it.
"W-What? She's here just an hour ago. Hotaru, please tell me you're joking. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR JOKING!" Natsume shouted as his hand and his whole body started to shake and he collapsed into the couch.
"I damn wish I am, Hyuuga. I WISH I AM!" Hotaru started crying loudly as he heard Ruka consoling her but it was evident in his voice that he too needed consoling.
Natsume's phone slid through his fingers as if it was slippery. He bend down to pick it up but no matter how much he tried, it still continued slipping past his grip and falling down on the carpeted floor again.
"Mr. Kinno!" He called out in frustration.
Mr. Kinno came running to his office frantically as he heard the desperation and weakness in Natsume's voice. "Mr. Hyuuga! What happened to you?" He asked. He had never seen Natsume in such a state.
Natsume reached out his hand which Mr. Kinno immediately took and helped him up. "Drive me to the hospital." Natsume muttered weakly and Mr. Kinno nodded without question. They went out of Natsume's office with Mr. Kinno helping Natsume walk as he couldn't even stand by himself.
The days of not eating properly three times a week and not having enough sleep took it's toll on Natsume's body and finding out about Mikan worsen his situation.
Natsume was about to follow when the woman stopped him.
She shook her head, "We should go."
Without waiting for his reply, the woman snapped her finger and they were transported out of his office.
"You can open your eyes now," said the woman.
(Now Playing: Everytime by Britney Spears)
Natsume opened his eyes wearily only to see the place he had always hated to see and be in. The people ran here and there. The nurses and doctors ran around frantically and most of them even bumped on each other then ran again as if it's the end of the world.
Notice me, take my hand
Why are we, strangers when
Our love is strong,
Why carry on without me?
The woman tugged on his hand making Natsume turn to look at her. She pointed to the direction of some nurses running through the hallway while pushing the stretcher and Natsume ran when he recognize the one lying on the stretcher.
"Mikan!"
Every time I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And every time I see, you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
She was covered in blood. Her head, her face and her body was covered in her own blood and she was unconscious. At least that was what he thought. He ran with them while calling her name continuously.
"Mikan! Please wake up. Please!" Natsume pleaded as his tears fell. He reached for her hand but it went through. He didn't care. He still reached for her hand. "Don't die, Mikan. Don't leave me. You've never been selfish but please don't start now. Please. Please don't die!"
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
There were shouts in the background. Some shouting orders, some crying and wailing and some were the sound from the intercom searching for some doctors needed but Natsume's attention weren't on any of them. His attention is only on Mikan.
"Nnh..." Mikan moaned.
And though it was as simple as that, Natsume was relieved to see her still alive and awake.
"Nnnha..." she moaned again.
"Love..." he whispered.
And every time I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And every time I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
As if hearing him, Mikan's eyes opened slightly and looked around before settling her gaze on him. Like she was seeing him. His heart almost dropped when he saw her smile a little and he panicked as he saw her wince a little after.
"Nat...s..." she said weakly. "Natsu... me..."
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
Natsume heard someone calling Mikan and saying, "He's coming! Please hold on, Mikan!"
Mikan shook her head a little. "He... here. Natsu... me."
It was Hotaru who answered her. "I'm going to call him." There was desperation and worry in Hotaru's voice that would really surprise Natsume if they weren't in such a circumstance.
"No. Natsu... me... 's... here." she whispered again.
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
Not wanting to let her speak anymore, Natsume spoke again. "Shh. Don't speak. We'll talk later. Don't leave me please. I love you..." He pleaded while he wiped away his tears away.
Mikan smiled. "L-love... love... you..."
He smiled back at her. His genuine smile that only a selected people had seen before. A smile only for her. "I know, love. I know." he said before he stopped and before the doors of the emergency room closed. His tears bursted out again and he fell to the floor. The woman kept silent like what she did previously and patted his back gently.
"Don't you wanna see?" The woman asked softly.
Natsume shook his head knowing what she meant. They can but they won't. He'll wait.
"Mikan..."
And every time I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And every time I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby.
"Where is she?!" Natsume shouted as he ran to his friends and behind him was his secretary.
"Still in the emergency room." Ruka was the one who answered. Or rather, the only one who can answer him. Koko, Mochu and Kitsuneme all look pretty shaken up to speak and the girls were in a much worse state.
"How is she?" He asked. It was obvious in his voice that he was worried and a little bit afraid. Afraid that maybe, maybe he was too late.
"There's still no news."
Natsume let out a breath he didn't noticed he was holding. He was a little bit relieved because there is still hope. She was still alive.
"Are you okay? You look pale." Ruka asked worriedly.
Natsume opened his mouth to answer but no voice came out. How can he possibly lie and say "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" in such a situation? He was not okay, physically and emotionally.
"I'm..." He trailed off and didn't get the chance to continue as he saw black and collapsed on the floor but was luckily caught by Koko and Mochu who are nearest to him.
"Natsume!" They exclaimed. Even Hotaru who was in a daze when Natsume arrived sat up in surprise.
"Help!" They shouted and the nurse who had witnessed what happened run to them to help. Natsume stared at his pathetic future self. Too weak to walk on his own, too weak to stay conscious and wait for Mikan. And most of all, too weak to do anything for her. The Natsume in front of him is truly pathetic. The pathetic him that he had always hated to become.
Natsume watched as his future self opened his eyes. They are in his hospital room. The doctor said it was because of fatigue that's why he collapsed. His future self sat up and was quickly helped by Ruka.
"What happened?" He heard him murmur before his eyes widened as everything came back to him. "Mikan! Where's Mikan? How is she?" He questioned continuously and readied himself to stand up.
"Relax! There's still no news. You're out for only three hours, Natsume. Rest." Ruka stopped him.
Natsume shook his head. "No. I'll wait with all of you."
Ruka sighed at his stubborn best friend before helping Natsume out of the room. Natsume and the woman followed them to where the others were waiting. In front of the emergency room. Hotaru threw Ruka a questioning glance which was replied by a you-know look from the latter while he helped Natsume to his seat.
"Hey," Natsume looked at the one who spoke.
"Who are you?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows. He didn't know this person.
The said person scratched the back of his head. "You really didn't notice me? I was here when you arrived." He offered his hand, "I'm Ren. Ren Matsumoto. Mikan's friend."
Natsume ignored his hand. "She didn't mention anything."
"Oh. I just met her yesterday," Ren said.
"Yesterday?" Natsume frowned.
Ren nodded. "Yeah. At Yome-san's bar."
Before Natsume could answer, the doctor went out. They all stood up and crowded the doctor who stepped backwards once.
"Her family?" The doctor scanned them but none of them looked related to her.
"I'm her boyfriend/ I'm her best friend." Natsume and Hotaru spoke at the same time but none cared and all of them looked expectantly at the doctor.
"Her family would come tomorrow." Hotaru informed the doctor who nodded. Mikan's parents are out of the country and they can only imagine how they felt when they heard the news.
"How is she?" Natsume asked.
The doctor looked down before looking up and meeting their eyes. All of them were nervous. Scared at the answer he will give them but a little hopeful that she will come back to them.
"I'm sorry."
That one word seemed to destroy all hope and light in their eyes. Especially for the two people who looked like their world just ended. For a while, it was just silence. No one spoke. No one can.
The doctor broke the never-ending silence. "We did all we can but it's her heart that gave out while we were performing the operation. I'm really sorry."
"What can your sorry do!" Natsume shouted in anger while the others tried to calm him down.
The doctor just looked down before he excused himself.
Hotaru broke down and everyone else followed. Even the guys cried. Natsume cried out too. No. The two Natsume cried out. Again. It was hard to believe. They just saw her yesterday. Still alive but now... She's gone.
"This is my fault." The two Natsume muttered at the same time.
"Damn! Mikan, you promised!" The present Natsume cried.
"No. She didn't." The woman interjected.
"She did. She promised that she would never leave me. She promised we will be together always. She promised but she..." The woman fell silent at his words and Natsume continued to cry out.
This is the future. Yes. But no matter what time he's in, be it in the past, present or future, He will always love Mikan. Over and over again. And he will always feel pain when he sees her cry, hurt... gone. She's his life. He remembered now. She is everything to him. Everything he needs. And now she's gone.
"Mikan! No! Don't leave me..."
How could he have forgotten? He wasted too much time that he had thought he doesn't have and now he's left to grieve and regret what he had done. The pain he caused to all of them. Especially to Mikan. The only woman he had loved so much and loved him just as much in return. It hurts to think how he had failed her. How he ruined her life, her dream.
"You have the same thoughts, you know."
Natsume turned his head to her direction. "What?" His voice hoarse in so much crying and wailing.
The woman pointed to his future self who is crying out like him. "All those feelings and emotion you're feeling right now is the same as his. Your thoughts are one. What you're feeling right now, he can feel it too."
Natsume didn't answer. He let himself cry out his pain and so did his future self. What he did, his future self did too. Like a mirror. They stayed like that and after a few minutes of grieving, the present Natsume stood up.
Natsume sniffed. "Let's go back."
Okay. Done. I'm sorry for not updating. This story and FandA. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :) Real talk, I'm not expecting anyone to cry while reading this chapter because I didn't. T_T I wanted it to be a heart-wrenching chapter but... it went like that.
-MitsukaiYuki
