A/N: Here is another chapter. A thank you for the ones who added this to alerts. Here is another long chapter. I hope you enjoy.
Bella scurried through the crowd, like a cat on a hot tin roof, toward the refreshment stand where she thought she saw James. People looked at her as if they feared she were on her way to a inferno. Ironically, it was the other way around. The searing heat of flesh and muscle that had threatened to engulf her in mindless burst of flames was what had her racing through the crowd.
'Oh my, Bella thought. Oh, my. Edward, here in the flesh.' She still couldn't believe it. He'd touched her. Held her against his strong pronounced chest until she thought she'd suffocate from lack of oxygen. The physical altercation had lasted a heartbeat, but it might as well been a lifetime. Incongruous sensations crashed in on her for which she hadn't been prepared. 'I can't think like that about him' she chastised mentally. But she couldn't deny he was still, and always would be, the only man who had ever made her pulse race just with his presence…though the days of wanting to recognize those feelings were long past. Sure, she had a childish crush on him until he'd left for college, but that was eons ago. 'I can't think like that about him,' she chastised mentally. 'I'm engaged for goodness sake. 'He made it clear all those years ago that he would never feel the same way. So how long was it going to take for her heart to accept it? Her own thoughts annoyed her. She was engaged to one man but another had always had a part of her heart, even if she had done her best to bury those feelings when he had rejected her all those years ago. She thought she was over Edward. Thought those feelings long gone. Had she been fooling herself this whole time? What was it about him that made her melt into a puddle?
After dropping out of college his senior year, he'd started drifting from one job to another and rarely came home. Once she had gone out east to school, their paths crossed less frequently. She still thought about him from time to time, but normally only when she saw his parents or the Cullen name came up in conversation. She bet he never once thought twice about her.
However, he was different somehow. Her crush had been on a boy. Edward was a man now. A damn good-looking man, who by merely showing up, had just thrown her a curveball she could never have anticipated. Had that cleft in his chin always been that deep? She would never forget how his voice was so low and velvety smooth. Her legs felt wobbly, and it occurred to her that if she didn't sit down soon, she might end up making a fool of herself.
"Chica, are you alright?" Sue's concerned strong but soft-spoken voice came from behind. Bella spun around, almost losing her footing and saw the older woman with the youngest of her twelve grandchildren tightly clasping her hand.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes, I was just looking for James." Bella said, smiling as she turned her attention to the knee-high child. "Hello, Amy, are you having fun?" The little girl nodded, looking up with big brown eyes, holding tight to a pink stuffed bear. "I see you have won a prize." The child's face shining with pride in a toothless grin. Sue continued to stare pensively at Bella. After being the Swan's housekeeper for over twenty-five years, not much got by her. When Bella's mother had died from a sudden illness, Sue had been there to cradle her as she sobbed uncontrollably for hours. Wise, understanding, motherly, Sue was the kind of woman Bella hoped she would be, when she reached a grandmotherly age.
"Have you seen him?" Bella asked, her pulse finally starting to slow down. "James?" She toyed pensively with her necklace, which once belonged to her mother. Sue may have been a only a housekeeper to the Swans but she was every bit a part of the family. Sue had helped her through some difficult times. She loved Sue just as much as she had for her own mother. Something she cherished and was thankful for everyday.
Shrugging her plump shoulders, Sue shook her head. Her voice gentle and low, her eyes watching her with concern. "No, sweetheart, I have not." Her eyebrows, dark in contrast to her short, prematurely silver hair, drew together in a worried frown. "Probably up to no good." She muttered. She didn't like James, Bella knew. Neither did her brothers, even though no one said a word to her.
Maybe that was the reason for her sour mood. He'd not only disappointed her this weekend by showing up late, but he'd disappointed her family and that didn't help. She'd tried to tell them James was a nice man with a good sense of humor, and all the other things that made her care for him, but in her heart, she knew her family thought of her as a kid, and that no man would ever please them. She jerked her thoughts back to the present.
"Are you feeling alright? You look a little peaked." Sue asked.
"Yes." Bella smiled big to prove it, but inside she quivered. "Now go on," Bella said, making a shooing gesture with her hand "I'm fine. Enjoy the fireworks. They're almost over." Anxious to be away from Maria's knowing eyes, Bella quickly wove her way into the crowd, trying to remember the color of his shirt. Brown. Maybe? That wouldn't help much. Half the men here were wearing dark colors. James wasn't nearly as tall as Edward was, or so muscular that he could easily lift her in the air. Nor did James have thick bronze hair and slate-green eyes that seemed to darken along with his mood. And there was no comparing Edward's strong square jaw to…
Briefly closing her eyes, she gritted her teeth. She had to stop this. Not only preoccupation unfair to James, but she was only making herself crazy. God, how she wanted a margarita, or a beer. An cold ice beer sounded nice. Of course, right now anything with alcohol would do. Tequila. One shot would clam her nerves. Hell, one shot would probably put her to sleep. She occasionally drank a glass of wine, and she loved a slushy margarita with Mexican food, but that was pretty much it.
She didn't care. Her nerves were buzzing like angry bees, and she needed the respite of blessed numbness. Heading straight for the refreshment booth, she avoided eye contact as much as possible, but smiled politely when necessary. She slipped behind the bar and found the tequila. After pouring some in a paper cup, she noticed Amber Adagio eyeing her with interest. The woman had a kind heart but also capable of spreading gossip faster than the Internet. Bella resisted the urge to slam back the shot of tequila, so she smiled at the woman instead, then walked away without the drink. Silly, because why should she care what anyone thought? But she did, and that fact wasn't going to change just because she recognized the foolishness of it.
She kept a watchful eye out for James. Most people were focused on the color light displays in the black sky, while still sitting on the blankets they had spread out for their picnic suppers. She'd already checked out the groups of cowhands standing near the tent with beers in their hands. Anyway, she doubted James would be wasting his time talking with the help.
Oh, brother, she really had to knock off the uncharitable thoughts. Yes, she was angry enough to scream, but she suspected guilt over her reaction to Edward had more to do with her readiness to pick James apart.
The area behind the bunkhouse seemed to be deserted, the perfect place where she could be alone with her thoughts, pull herself together before saying her goodbyes to everyone. The fireworks would be over in two minutes and the crowds would thin out quickly. She'd find James then.
She leaned back against the bunkhouse wall of rust stained cedar, and closed her eyes, intent on savoring the moment. Bella rubbed at the back of her neck. A headache was starting, and she was certain it was from the tension. Bella rotated her head from side to side aware of the kinks tightening her neck muscles. At the same time. A man's deep voice came from around the side of the bunkhouse that faced away from the blustering crowd.
James's voice.
Her eyes flew opened, a uneasy tense knot spread from her stomach to her shoulders. She listened, waiting. Trying to convince herself, she'd been mistaken. A second later, coming from the same direction, a woman laughed softly. Bella pushed away from the ruff wall and stood perfectly motionless. Surely, she'd only imagined James's voice. What would he be doing there at the side of the bunkhouse? It didn't make sense. Again, hushed voices and laughter drifted toward her. She struggled for her next breath. Perhaps her body had acknowledged what her mind refused to accept.
Slowly she forced herself to take a step toward the sound. Bella's gut clenched. She moved quietly, dreading what she might find. Right as she got to the corner of the bunkhouse, she took a deep breath, fortifying herself, before she rounded the corner. The darkness and the ancient weeping willow both obscured her view. For the same reason, she wasn't visible, either, and she waited another second, listening and hoping she'd imagined the whole thing. The light in her eyes went out, replaced by an arctic frost.
"I have to get back" It was James's voice there was no doubt left. "I think the fireworks are almost over."
"Hmm, not yet." the woman whispered seductively. "I'm not done with you."
"Damn, you're making this hard."
The woman laughed. "That's the point."
"My fiancé will come looking."
"Let her look. Besides, you promised to get rid of her."
"I know sweetheart…soon. Very soon."
"Not soon enough."
"Have patience my dear. You're the one I want. Always Remember that."
"I'll try."
Bella's heart twisted in a nauseous knot. It was crystal clear what was going on behind the tree. She told herself she should just leave. Why humiliate herself by letting them know she was here? But she couldn't move. She could barely breath. He'd played her for a fool. Stupid fool.
Damn him. This was her family home, her property, her party. Why make it easy for him by not letting him see her? She loosened her fists, unaware that she had clenched them, and lifting her chin, she stepped out into the open.
The woman's back was to Bella. A blur of red hair and curves, and an indecently short black denim skirt. James was pressed against her, kissing her, running his hands down her back to her bottom. Giving what she thought was a squeeze, which the woman giggled. Even though a shadow muted his face, Bella knew the second he noticed her. He straightened and jerked away from the woman. As if bit by a rattlesnake.
"Shit…Bella…Sweetheart…Please let me explain. "
"Bastard. How could you?" Bella's voice came out a whisper. She couldn't deny she wanted to slap him even kick him where the sun don't shine. Instead, she backed away. Life was not fair sometimes. However, she couldn't help thinking this just may be a blessing in disguise. The excuse she needed to call off her own wedding.
"Wait" James rushed toward her, she held up a hand, stop sign style. "Bella, please, this isn't what it looks like."
Every ounce of her wanted to run, hide until the scene faded from her memory, but she stopped, a hint of hysteria bubbling inside her. But running away from a problem never solved anything. Calmly, she said, "Then what is it?" Her voice sounded high and strained, even to her own ears. These uncertainties left her feeling violated and vulnerable. Vulnerability was a luxury she couldn't afford.
His face was clear to her now, the paleness of his skin, the defeat in his eyes largely satisfying. He stared mutely at her. Then he lift a hand to touch her, she jumped back, unable to trust herself to remain genteel.
He took half a step back, lowering his hand, swallowed hard and looked about as comfortable as a grizzly in a tutu. If she wasn't so pissed-off, Bella might have felt sorry for him. But she seriously doubts it.
"Leave, James. Now." An invisible fist clutched her insides. How could she have thought that saying yes to marriage, to him, would have made her happy? In a way, she was glad this had happened. She understood now why she had been so depressed about lately. She didn't love him, didn't think she really ever did, that's what her heart had been trying to tell her. The truth hurt, but she got the point. Marriage to this man would have been a huge mistake.
"We need to talk."
"No, right now you need to leave. There is nothing you could possibly say that would excuse what I just saw. Go back to that whore you were just with." Taking the ring off, Bella throw it toward him. "Oh, by the way, the wedding's off." Without another word, she turned and stalked back toward the house, praying her legs would carry her the entire way. Exhausted both physically and emotionally, she was running on fumes. The feelings rolling around inside her were downright uncomfortable. She may not love him but the betrayal of it all still hurt.
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