Chapter 3
I wake with my head in the toilet.
But not just any toilet. Peetas' toilet. Fuck.
I'm not sure how I got here or how long I've been here. Long enough that dawn has turned to morning and the bright sun is shining obnoxiously through the cracks, adding to my pounding headache.
I groan loudly, chunks of vomit stuck in my hair, making for a pretty sight as. Oh god, how did I let myself get to this point? I don't remember much from the night before. Only one trip to the bathroom that didn't end as dramatically as this one seemed to. I don't even remember truly feeling drunk at all last night. A little tipsy, yes, but wasted? No.
Turning my head ever so slowly, I peer through the tiny crack in the door that separates me from Peeta. I can't see much of anything but my heels sitting idly by the door and what looks to be a signed baseball.
"Shit," I whimper, my head falling with a thud against the hard tile. I groan, running through a list of people and things that, at this moment, I hate. Damn Annie. Damn Finnick. Damn Peeta. And fuck tequila.
"Get up, Katniss," I say, staggering to my feet. "Get up, get up, get up."
When I finally manage to make it to the sink, my reflection scares me. I scrub my face until every black smudge is washed down the drain, taking a moment to wash the reminder of last night out of my hair and my teeth. There isn't much I can do for the deep, purple bags sitting underneath or the red blemishes from the broken blood vessels over my cheeks. I doubt anyone was looking too much better. Expect Peeta. Perfect Peeta.
How was I supposed to go out there looking like this? Better yet, why do I even care?
When getting comfortable with the idea of sleeping in his bed drunk, I must have forgotten to take account for my feelings come morning time when there was no alcohol between us. When we were back on normal ground. When he turned back into himself and I turned back into myself - whoever that may be.
My biggest fear now was walking through that door to find him back to his old ways. Back to the Peeta who'd treated me like gum under his shoe. Not the Peeta I'd spoken to last night. The smart, charming, almost kind, Peeta. Maybe that was a one time deal.
I decide to face the music. I find an empty bed.
In just his t-shirt, I mindlessly wander around the room, slightly embarrassed and more than a little angry. No, angry wasn't the right word. Hurt. I was hurt. Shaking, I find everything that is mine in the small quarters of the room and spend the next ten minutes getting dressed in the same thing I wore the night before. "Walk of shame, here I come."
It's unusually quiet. As luck would have it, everyone still seems to be asleep. Just as I'm about to make my descent down the stairs unnoticed, I hear my name being called no louder than a whisper.
"Shit," I mumble, turning on my heel and landing face first into the chest of Finnick Odair. He smells like chlorine and aftershave, an unpleasant mix that makes my stomach churn. "What are you doing up so early?"
He smirks, running a towel through his amber locks and shrugging. "Figured I get a little swim in this morning in the backyard. Gotta stay in shape, you know what I mean?" Funny being he is the epitome of fit. Beautifully sculpted abs, bulging arms, strong legs. Annie was a lucky women. "The real question is, what are you doing up this early?"
"I've been sick for the better part of an hour," I groan. "I just figured it would be better to head out, get some rest in my own apartment, and clog my own toilet."
"So that was you?" He says, seeming unfazed by my dramatization. I flinch. "I heard someone in there but I didn't know if it was you or Peeta. Speaking of Peeta, is he still asleep? Don't tell me you're skipping out on him, Katniss."
I flush, feeling like a child under a parent's watchful glare. "Funny story. I actually don't know where Peeta is," I say. "I woke up this morning and he was gone."
Now Finnick looks uncomfortable. His eyebrows knit together in concentration and we are quiet for what seems like an eternity. "I wouldn't go just yet, Katniss," he mumbles. "Peeta isn't the type of guy to run out on a girl. He might-"
"Spare me the trouble, Finnick. It's okay."
"You're not listening to me. He's not like that. I don't think I've ever seen a girl go into his room better yet have him sleep in there with her. Or offer, hell. I don't think he would just run out on you. I could call if you want."
What is he implying? Nothing happened between the two of us, surely he knows that. There was no intimacy therefore he owes me no kindness. Hell, who even knows if Peeta Mellark really knows what kindness is? I don't mention this to Finnick because they seem like good friends. And you can't always see the bad in friends.
"Where's Annie?" I ask, changing the subject. He heaves a deep sigh but nods his head in the direction of his secluded room.
"Still asleep. She woke up around four and got sick, better now. She fell back asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake her. I'll walk her home whenever she's ready."
Something in his speech gives me the impression he likes her just as much as she likes him. That makes me feel better, a warmness making it's way through my body. Finnick is a good man and I tell him so. His smile is contagious. "I have my moments, Everdeen."
…
When Annie returns to the apartment three hours later, she is all giggles as she speaks about Finnick, not wasting one detail of the way he washed her hair and changed her clothes, tucked her in and even slept beside her through the night. "I got to sleep in his arms, Katniss," she smiles, a hand going to her heart dramatically. I roll my eyes. "Can you believe that? How lucky am I?"
"It'll be a great story to tell your kids one day," Madge says from her spot behind me, typing away on her computer. It seems in the week she'd become engaged, she'd slipped a switch and was already in bridezilla mode. The announcement had been made on Facebook, distant family members had been called, and a date had been set. The Undersee's wasted no time and in nine months, Madge would officially be a Hawthorne. I am her Maid of Honor.
"Our kids will be beautiful," Annie whispers, her eyes far off and dazed. I laugh.
"Slow down, lassie. You guys spent one night together and you were drunk off your ass. When you tell the story to your children, be sure to exclude the part when he was shoveling vomit out of your hair."
"It's fine, Annie," Madge says, finally looking away from the damn screen and towards me. "She's just jealous because she woke up alone this morning. She wishes she had someone to shovel the vomit out of her hair which, by the way, is still there."
I snicker, throwing a pretzel stick her way which she dodges with ease. "You know, I'm going to stop telling you guys anything about my love life. Therefore, you have nothing to throw at me when you all want to be bitchy."
"You have no love life, Katniss. That's the problem," Annie sighs. "What about that kid Marvel from our anatomy class? He's cute. And he asked you out to lunch. Are you going?"
Oh god, I'd forgotten all about that. Marvel Stevens was a quiet, 6'3 senior from our anatomy class whom had finally worked up the nerve, after working in my lab group for over six weeks, to ask me on a date. Lunch of all things. Today. I was supposed to call him last night to confirm but I'd been busy and now I was supposed to meet him in ninety minutes at the pizza place across campus per my request. "Fuck. I'd forgotten all about that."
"Katniss, you're going if I have to drag you there with my bare hands," Madge threatens. "He's a nice guy. He could be the one! You never know. Call and tell him it's still on!"
"I really don't feel that great," I whine. It wasn't a lie. My hungover had yet to subside. "And I was supposed to call yesterday. He probably doesn't want to see me anymore. I kind of blew him off the other day in class."
"Oh, he does," Annie says. "You should see the way he looks at you, Katniss. I mean, all the time. He doesn't stop staring. He would run around the world if it meant he got to be with you. It's actually kind of annoying."
"What's annoying?"
"The effect you can have and the way you fail to realize it."
I sigh. "Fine." My phone starts to vibrate loudly in my pocket, interrupting the mood and putting me on edge. Knowing it's probably my mother, I answer without looking at the caller ID. "Hey, mom. What's up?"
"I'm sorry?" The voice on the other end croaks. A voice very unlike my mother. I freeze, the name at the top of the screen pulling my stomach in two. Fuck. Peeta. "Katniss, are you there?"
"Yeah, hey," I mumble, Madge and Annie both immediately at my side. "Sorry. I answered without looking and you know, my mom calls a lot so I just assumed that-"
"It's okay," he laughs. "Anyway, I was just calling to make sure you got home okay. I went out this morning to get some coffee and when I came back, you were gone. Finnick said you weren't feeling that well and left early. So, um, just calling to make sure you're okay."
Making sure I'm okay? So maybe whatever happened last night wasn't an act. He really was just having a bad day. And now… now he's okay. "I'm fine," I say hurriedly. "Sorry. I was really feeling like shit today and just needed a shower. I didn't know where you were. If I had known, I wouldn't have run out."
"No, I get it. It was kind of a weird place to be in, huh?" His laugh is contagious and triggers a reaction of my own. Annie and Madge look at me with wide eyes, my persona much different than just moment ago. "I should've left a note. I'm kind of hungover myself. I wasn't thinking."
"Don't worry about it." I mumble.
"Glad you got home safe, Katniss," he says. "I enjoyed last night and hope we can hang out again. If you want to, of course. I could see why you wouldn't want to. I mean, I was an ass that one time but I swear, it was just that one time. I'm not always like that. I mean… I can be. I don't know. Madge would probably tell you I'm an ass, Annie would say the opposite. Guess it depends on what kind of day you catch me on."
I stay quiet, momentarily stunned by his admission. "I wouldn't tell people that if I were you."
We laugh together. "Yeah, sorry. I'm nervous but I couldn't tell you why."
"I could tell you why," Madge whispers in my ear, winking as she retreats to the kitchen. I scowl at her.
"Alright. Well, I'm sure you've got a busy day ahead of you so I'll let you go. Feel better, Katniss. I'll talk to you soon."
He hangs up before I can respond. What the fuck just happened?
Annie giggles beside me. "I take it back. Now you've got two lovers."
…
Marvel really is handsome. Gold eyes, ash brown hair, clear skin. He is strong and tall and smells like the outdoors. He is a gentleman. He pulls my chair out for me, and looks me in the eyes when I speak, and asks me questions at all the right times. He compliments me on my hair and tells me I have the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen.
He is handsome. He is kind. And he is very smart. But there is something that doesn't sit well with me and I'm trying to convince myself that it has nothing to do with a blue eyed man sitting on the other side of campus.
It seems strange. Last night I slept in another mans' bed. Just slept, yes. There were no intimate pieces to it yet it felt intimate and it felt raw and real. Being here, with Marvel, bonding over chicken salad and lemonade, seemed wrong. Inappropriate. But I sit because I am truly intrigued with the man in front of me in a different way than I am with Peeta and I have to work out both sides to that puzzle.
"Are you ready to graduate?" he asks with a smile. I return it easily with a simple nod. I hated that question. Everybody thinks they're ready to graduate until they do and then we are all thrown out into the real world, competing against one another for jobs that will make us money but won't make us happy. My cynical mother has drilled that type of ideology into my head. "Teaching, right?"
"Yes," I say. "I want to do third grade. I want the kids when they're young enough to make up their own minds but old enough to know better, you know? I feel like thats the window you can make the most change. Sink or swim."
Marvel nods his head in understanding. "That's nice. I don't think we have enough teachers who care anymore. My mother was a teacher and god bless her soul, she was a horrible one. She didn't care about the kids after a while. Kind of got mean. I don't see her in you. Thankfully. You're a kind of your own."
"Is that a good thing?"
"A great thing. We need more "you's". Less my moms." I laugh. "I want to be an engineer. Which means more school. And hard school too. But who knows, maybe that's not in the cards for me. I'm kind of running out of money. And time. And one can't afford to lose either of those things, right?"
"No, I don't think that's very good," I say with understanding. "But who knows. Who cares? Do what you want to do. Follow your dreams."
"You are a teacher. The inspirational speeches just flow freely from you," he jokes, his eyes twinkling in the most charming way possible. So why do I wish they were blue?
"So Katniss," Marvel starts, "am I kissing you at the end of this date?"
