Oh dear LORD how I wished Albania would have written this letter too.

Russia!, Stop sending us letters sealed with blood. Its disgusting and messy and give our mailmen the creeps.

None of us are going to become one with you. Ever. The time I spent as your ally is still sending me to rehab today. *shudders*

And as for your sister, have you considered locking her in a cage….it tends to work with children and feral animals, so why not give it a try.

Other options include feeding her to the radio active abominable snowmen we all know you have wandering somewere around Russia, convincing her that the only way you'll marry her is if she retrives a full set of teeth from a still living great white shark (make sure you include that this must be done while covered in chum or the deal is off). Another option is to clone your sister and watch the two of them kill each other over you, but that might turn against you if the two Belaruses (Belarusi?) decide to team up and share you.

But in the end Russia, its quite frankly not my problem, and I don't really like wasting my pen ink of people that keep trying to get me to become one with them.

~Serbia

Belarus,

Your brother doesn't want to marry you. Now be nice and go beat up Lithuania or something to take out your rage. And Estonia's probably trying to hang out with the Nordics if you want to find him that badly.

~Serbia

P.S-We do know whats good for us, and that's why were staying away from your doomed to be deranged wedding.