Okay for this crossover I have no excuse.
And technically I'm supposed to be on break from fanfiction stuff while going to Otakon, but I had to make an exception because this… oh God, I'll just let you read it and see for yourselves. It wouldn't get out of my head.
Yeah, exactly.
Well… um, I don't really have anything much else to say other than the fact this omake might be a little closer to rated M due to… the nature of it. Yeah. Let's just say Monster Girl Quest and leave it at that.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK THOUGH. Just… read it XD
World Gate Shenanigans 1: Why. Also caution: References to sexual conduct and ridiculousness
"I have no excuse for the existence of this crossover. I shall now exit stage left."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
"Ugh!" I grunt, back slamming into the ground. "Okay, that actually hurt! Louise, could your World Gate actually leave us on our feet for once, and not hundreds of feet in the air! It's a good thing Colbert and I created something to lessen impact to be nonlethal, but FUCK that still hurts!"
"Buzz off!" Louise growls back as we pick ourselves off the forest ground, which takes a little more than normal because I'm still sore as hell.
Ugh… Okay, head's back to normal. Now what's that rustl—
"K-kuuurt!"
What the f—
Why.
What.
What even…
You… what.
What the fuck is Louise grabbed by…?
Uh… it looks like a giant rafflesia…? Except there are two female upper bodies sticking out of the middle with… WHAT THE FUUUUU—
The boom in this case was me drawing Derf. Oh yeah funny thing, we discovered a while back that Derf has the ability to seal magical creatures, something we learned from other Void familiars. And judging from what the fuck I'm fighting, that's probably the—
"Kurt behind you!"
"Agh!"
I barely avoid the tentacle that blasts next to my head, going into a roll. Man, fighting in the jungle is not cool! Fuck this shit!
What the fuck am I fighting now?! It's… a roper flower thing?! Uh… why the hell does it have the upper body of a female… with a rather large bust and purple hair… good hell, what did we get dragged into!
"Dammit…!" I growl, slashing quickly to force back several launched tentacles. "Louise?!"
"Aaah… aahh…"
"Just a little more…"
Oh holy fucking shit, those girls in the rafflesia flower are talking.
"D-don't look, Kuraaaaaaaaaah!"
I tear my gaze away from Louise, who currently sounded like she was uh… approaching climax. Either way, I've got another enemy to take care of. As long as she's not popping out monster babies I think we're in the clear.
"Let's do it."
Lightning courses through Derf as I weave through the trees, cutting through the tentacle barrage launched at me.
"For the last motherfucking time world, I don't do tentacles!" I roar as Derf laughs hysterically while I toss him. As he flies through the air, my two Gigawatt Blades spark to life. In a wild flurry, I reduce her tentacles to ribbons.
Okay, now just to—Oh fuck me.
Apparently I missed one, as something grabs me by the ankle and yanks me in. I feel my face get instantly buried within the thing's massive chest. Tentacles swarm around me, enclosing me without Derf. Okay, now this—
Holy fucking shit, that burns! Is that… what the fuck, digestive juices?! Man, fuck this bullshit! I ain't getting eaten alive! AND YOU BITCH OF A PLANT! THESE ARE VERY NICE AND EXPENSIVE PANTS!
"FUCK YOU AND YOUR VORE!" I roar, materializing my Gigawatt Blades in a rage as I begin brutally tearing my way out of this bitch's tentacle stomach. Once I get enough distance, I leap onto a branch up high in the trees.
"Alright, I'm pissed! Eat this!
"MASTER SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!"
The beam of sheer electricity rips right through the roper girl thing, leaving her… vaporized, burned, whatever. With another field, I bring back Derf and prepare to face the other creature.
"Haaa… ahaaa… K-kuuuuuuuuuuuurt!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Give me a second!"
Now just to… where'd I put my phone…? Ah, there we—
"You put that fucking camera awahhhhhhhhhhh oh Brimiiiiiir!"
"Aww come on! I need blackmail material!"
"Buzz off, Kuraaaaaaht!"
Oh yeah. Funny thing about uh… accidentally giving yourself immortality and zero aging courtesy of fucking around with Void magic (Hindsight: VERY BAD—SCRATCH THAT, EXTREMELY HORRIBLE IDEA), is that you get really bored and spend a lot of time with each other (it may have been fortunate then, that I accidentally lost the runes by messing with Void). And with me being the dominant personality, I sort of rubbed off on Louise. Especially the swearing habits.
Well… I totally didn't snag one picture. Not that I'm going to do things to it, it's just that I need blackmail material on Louise. And just to screw with her occasionally. Besides, it's not fair it's only her that has dirt on their partner. I mean, she's got like, a hundred times more blackmail material than me! I'll get 'em where I can take them.
"Please stop resisting…" One of the heads whispered into Louise's ear before blowing something in her face. She immediately went a little slack and nodded while said head began making out with her.
Well then. Either way, let's just… end this here.
"Orya!"
I leap into the fray of tentacles, doing backflips and somersaults to avoid being hit. I won't let you grab me…! But either way…
Derf shoots out of the sheath as I attack with my Gigawatt Blades. He flies through the air as I barrage the enemy with an endless stream of kicks and punches. She gets more tired with every hit… okay, it's time for the finishing blow!
"Return!"
I clench my fist and Derf shoots back. As he runs through the monster, the girls turn into a regular flower. Ah, so that's what happens if they get sealed, huh?
"Oi, Louise. Louise, wake up." I say, lightly slapping her cheeks.
She blinks before sitting up, shaking her head in pain. "Where…"
"Well, you got molested by that flower girl thing and I just took care of her. Maybe you blacked out after making out with her for a bit." I explain, helping her up to her feet as I sheath Derf. "Come on, let's get the fuck outta here. I don't wanna nearly be eaten."
"…Is that really your explanation on why your pants are damaged again?"
"Yes. I'm not fucking kidding. That thing would've eaten me. Man, fuck that shit."
And thus we begin our trek out of this goddamn forsaken forest.
"Ugh… reduced to such an undignified state…" Louise mutters after about fifteen minutes of walking while we slowly carve our way through the forest. "Can we hurry up?!"
"Look, this is a thick-ass jungle. I don't care how soaked your panties are, but this is about as fast as we can go. I don't have a machete and I don't want to accidentally cause a spark or something and burn down this place with the Gigawatt Blades."
"…I have it, Kurt." Louise hisses, which is when I realize she has her wand out.
"We are not going to—"
"Quadruple Giga."
"Okay, that is the only time I will let that go." I growl as we exit the forest through the small wasteland Louise created. "But we will never do that again. And remind me why you're suddenly able to cast that really quickly?"
"Just get me to a clothes store, quickly." Louise grumbles, shifting awkwardly. "And I had the chant ready while we were walking, Now just—"
She screams as a rather strong breeze slams into us. Oh God, when did she—
"KURT, LOOK AWAY!"
"I didn't know you were going commando while we were walking. When did you take off your pan—"
"S-SHUT UP!"
"There's no need to be embarrassed. Nothing I haven't seen before. Or experienced."
"S-shut up, Kurt…" Louise mutters, face turning red as she looks away. "Besides, that was a strange world, erm… were really strange worlds. I didn't… didn't expect we had to actually you know, do it. But I mean, I guess it was worth the equipment…"
"Is it still so embarrassing, after we've done it hundreds of times by this point in a variety of positions and sometimes even chained and twice upside down dangling from a helicopter as part of a goddamn contest, in front of hundreds of people, no less, to say we had se—"
"Okaycanwetalkaboutthisanothertime?!"
Derf laughs heartily in the background as we continue on, Louise holding her skirt down.
"Here." I say, offering my sweater that she wraps around her waist. "This should be good enough. Come on, we need to get to the town quick. Looks like night's coming and I don't wanna be caught out in the open here in the middle of the night."
"Neither do I."
"Hands up where I can see 'em!"
"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me." Louise and I mutter as three ruffians surround us. I don't think they're even worth describing.
"Hand over all your gold, right now!"
"Louise?"
"Go ahead."
Wordlessly, I go full force, utilizing my nerve enhancements to the maximum. Shame I don't have the runes anymore since again, Void magic was something I shouldn't have messed around with, even in the name of science.
Regardless, they're all cut down (nonfatally), after which, I loot their gold.
"…Night's coming." Louise notes, looking over the horizon. The sun's just about gone, huh?
"I could break their legs." I offer nonchalantly, eliciting a cry of surprise and cowardice from the thieves. "They'd buy us some time. Or I could just use them as negotiations to let us go…
"…Except I have standards. Seeing that you just got molested and it probably would've gone further and I nearly got eaten… Yeah, no. I won't leave these guys here. That would just be wrong. But…"
I point Derf at their clear leader's neck. "I want some information. I'm a traveler here, coming from a very distant land that you've never heard of. Tell me why a bunch of plant and animal things are half girls are doing weird shit?"
"T-they're monster girls… they live off men's semen as their main nutrient but other bodily fluids do the same! Some of them eat men, though, while others cart them off to be married!" They stammer.
Monster girls…? You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Then again, considering the shit I've seen, I shouldn't be surprised.
"Why can't people easily fight back? It's not like I had a lot of trouble beating them back."
"If… if they make you ejaculate or orgasm, it triggers what people call Critical Ecstasy, and all your strength and will to fight just… goes out of you!"
I'm calling tooooootal bullshit on that.
"Alright. Which way's the closest town?"
They point.
"Thank you. Now get out of here and start living honest lives. Because I'm good at remembering faces, and next time I might not be so soft on you. GET!"
They quickly spring to their feet and get running. Well, that solves that.
"Allllllrighty then Louise, let's get the fuck over there before it hits night."
Unfortunately, it's a long way. We're forced to set up camp underneath a tree, though fortunately we're shrouded in darkness. Now just to—
"Goddammpmpmpm!"
I have had it with this shiiiit!
"You're going to let him go."
My arms cease movement as the thing tightens up around me. A fucking… an earthworm? Wow, what a load of crap!
"And if I don't?"
"I blow your ass sky high." Louise hisses without any fear in her voice. Oh boy, shouldn't have swore so much around Louise. Now she's got the mouth of a sailor.
"Why don't you… join us?"
"That's it. Fire of the All Consuming Inferno."
And WHOOOOSH goes the earthworm girl thing in a massive hellfire column that doesn't really do shit to me because I mean… I'm heat resistant. Lightning powers do that to you.
Oh yeah I should mention that Louise has a bunch of new spells. Again, we've been just wandering multiple fucking timelines with World Gate, so that's to be expected.
As the flames subside from roasting the earthworm girl thing that falls limp on the ground, I stretch my arms. "When the hell did you start killing like that?"
"Oh, I think that was… about three World Gates back? Seeing that you weren't there, I had to actually get my hands dirty."
"How long have we been travelling across worlds and timelines now?"
"I think it's been at least a few years."
"Wow. I did not know I rubbed off that much on you."
"Regardless, if she had just handed you over, then this wouldn't have been a problem." Louise mutters, sitting down next to our extinguished fire pit. "Seriously, what is it with you and any female that doesn't immediately have a man of their own instantly being attracted to you?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Of course not! I'm glad I don't have to deal with fifty different men all fighting over me. Don't even remind me of when I had to singlehandedly assault that stupid—"
"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me of Yokai Academy." I growl back, leaning on a tree. "At least those monster girls had human forms. But nonetheless, it was fun roughhousing with some of those guys. Though this world ain't so bad, either. We just need to stop running into all of the crap it's throwing us. But fuck staying out here, let's push for the town. I'm not staying in the open."
Luckily, we have enough to pay for an inn, but only one room. The innkeeper gave us an odd look, especially because Louise was super shifty due to lack of undergarments, but I just shrugged and walked off nonchalantly.
"I'm going to head off and see what I can find. Maybe someone's got a small job to get some more money." I tell Louise, handing her one of my knives while I take Derf.
The town's a bit lively, despite the fact that it's well into the night. There's still some watches lit, though. I see a lot of people ready to fight off any monster, flying or not.
…Oh my God.
"Good sir!" I announce to a merchant who's packing up. "How much is that large object you're selling?"
I find out that I've got more than enough money because no one is buying this huge ass metal statue that is super heavy. And said large object iiiiiiiis a motorcycle like the one I found in Halkeginia. Yes. Yes please. Now just to wheel it and stash it somewhere… ah, I've still got a chain. I'll just head over to a stable and pay to have it stay there.
And don't ask why I have the chain. Let's just say that Louise and I ran into some rather saucy worlds and this is a souvenir, and I'll leave it at that. This thing's damn near unbreakable, too.
But yeah, I have a motorcycle now! I really love how this thing just keeps following me. It's brilliant and for whatever deity gifts me with this luck, I thank you. Except at the same time, could I see what would happen if I don't have this luck with the motorcycle that I run into a more relaxing world? Seriously, the places we've been… you'd think I was being thrown into harem and hentai worlds all the time.
Honestly… for one clean world of sorts, I wouldn't mind. Ah well, I guess we'll make do until we get bored of this world. Hey, maybe we'll change history while we're at it.
Either way, I managed to drag myself to Louise's room and throw myself on the bed and head to sleep.
The next day, we head out to the docks. Turns out we can't go because some hurricane-tornado thing by an… Alma Elma? I don't know what that is, but apparently if we go into a cave and get some treasure called Poseidon's Bell, we can cross safely. Some kid and food critic (the hell?) went out to the cave yesterday, but they hadn't returned yet.
"Oh wait, that's them, actually."
It's… a purple haired kid? He's dressed in a brown tunic vest sort of thing with a white shirt underneath. As for the woman with him… well, well-endowed doesn't even begin to start describing her. She's somewhat pale, dressed skimpily in black with a miniskirt that redefines mini and the torso being pretty much just a bra at this point. Silverish hair, not bad.
"Oi, boy! Do you have Poseidon's Bell?" The ship's captain asks.
"Yes, sir!" he chirps.
"Do you mind if I hitch a ride, then? I also have my horse that I want to bring." I inquire.
Fortunately, as I find out, we've got enough money for it.
I make quick friends with the boy, who's named Luka, as I lie down on the motorcycle that's chained to the boat. His accompaniment is named Alice, a travelling food critic which is a boatload of crap.
"So, what're you travelling for?" he asks.
"I…" I pause. "Well, we're kind of just travelling for kicks, trying to avoid getting eaten or anything. You ever run into a Roper Girl?"
Oh yeah, apparently they have names. I bought an encyclopedia before heading out to the ship.
"Oh yes. That was… that was very close, actually."
"Yeah, she nearly ate me too. Kinda vaporized her."
"Y-you what?!"
"I didn't mean to actually you know, kill anything, but she started spraying digestive juice on me. I only responded with equal force. I don't like to kill frequently, but when someone uses lethal force on me, I have no choice but to respond. There was a rafflesia girl to, but fortunately I can seal monsters with this guy."
"Heeeeello!"
"Your sword talks?!"
I unsheathe Derf and hold him out. "Luka, meet Derflinger. He's been with me since who knows when. The guy can seal magical beasts, which apparently monsters here classify as."
"Good thing too!" Derf adds on. "Partner here isn't fond of killing, so he'll take the least lethal route as he can."
"Yeah. I fought in a war before in my home, so let's just say that I'm not a big fan of mass killing. Blood going everywhere gets to your head after a while." I shrug, putting Derf away. "Anyways—"
The wind picks up. Luka grips his angsty teenage sword (which looks badass, by the way, as it looks like a bunch of screaming angels formed into a blade) and readies up but is still shaking at the knees. Louise looks at me and I nod, immediately moving to guard her.
"Louise! You know what to do!"
She begins casting her spell. I think Dispel will do nicely, but it might be nice to just blow the wind away as well.
—A presence.
In a flash, I draw Derf and block the blur. Okay, let's do this. Accelerated nerve circuits, let's go. Yes… I can see you now. You're no match for my reflexes now. I can move faster than you, wind demon.
All around Louise flashes green and white. Wind element is green again, huh? Heh, of course it is. But my white electricity is a little faster than that.
I dance all around my companion, swinging Derf and using the Gigawatt Blade, snaking all around the place. The attacker can't get a single hit in. However with my enhanced reactions, I can make out some features of the attacker. Female. Has wings. Huge-ass bust (in more ways than one). Dressed skimpily, which is an oddity. There's actual clothes compared to the others we've run into. Somewhat long, flowing hair. Either way, I'm guessing it's a monster girl.
The chanting Louise was doing has stopped, but it's impossible to tell. Her mouth barely moves anymore and her chants are pretty much whispers at this point. Alright… just to defend her a bit more.
"Infinite Cyclone."
The whipping winds experience a shift, as they are the ones pushed in the opposite direction now. It causes our attacker to suddenly have to adjust their flight but fail, sending them right onto the deck and into the mast.
I leap in front of Louise and get into a battle stance as Louise mumbles the few syllables to another spell. "Alright, that's one thing down. Who the hell is it this time?"
"Owwwwwww…" the purple haired woman in front of us coos, flapping her wings as she sucks her right pointer finger suggestively. I quickly scan over her body, noting the horns and the tail that has a mouth with sharp teeth. What the fuck..? "So you're the one who took Poseidon's Bell?"
"No, that would be Luka." I say, nodding over to the purple haired and blue eyed kid who's still standing amazed at my speed. "Who the hell are you?"
"Well, I am one of the Heavenly Knights, Alma Elma. Hmm…"
I stay back as she quickly interests herself with Luka (who admits to taking the Bell), which I'm sure at this point the Heavenly Knights (as he apparently fought another one earlier) know that he's fighting to reach the Monster Lord… what the fuck is even going on anymore?
"May I execute him, my lord?"
What the fuck.
Oh yeah, Monster Lord. Leader of the monster. But apparently Luka's on a quest to eliminate her… or was, but now shit's complicated now. Probably because Alice is the Monster Lord as Alma Elma probably just confirmed.
"Honestly, I don't care."
Anyways, execute meant challenging him to a battle. Well, he doesn't have a lot of room to run. However, Alma Elma limits herself to only using her tail. But if he loses, then he's going to well, get raped and maybe get eaten considering that toothy tail.
"Luka."
"Kurt?"
"I won't interfere with your battle. I can sense that aura off of you. However, should you be faced with death, I will not hesitate to enter the fray."
"Oh, oh. You're very interesting too."
"Hands off." Louise hisses, eyes glowing slightly purple with the element of Void.
Oh yeah, funny thing too about messing with Void and the elements. They start having visible effects on your body. Like when Louise channels fire element, sometimes you can see veins glowing slightly red.
"Ohohoho, taken? That makes things all the more fun."
"Louise, calm down. I don't intend to be taken in by her should she come for me."
"Oh but honey, I wouldn't come for you. You'd come for me."
"Quit it with the innuendos." I mutter, gripping Derf tightly. He's not snickering, meaning this person actually holds some amount of danger to us. "…Luka, the battle is yours."
As I pass by him, I whisper quickly to him. "Remember, she's only using her tail. Victory at all costs. Find a way to make her break that rule."
I don't give him a second glance, to ensure to make it seem like I didn't saying anything.
Taking a seat next to Alice, I watch the fight begin while talking to her. "So, Monster Lord, hm? I guess this is where people say their relationship's complicated."
I chuckle off the glare she launches at me, confirming my suspicions. "If you think I'm going to be intimidated, you should know that I've stared into the abyss and when I stared back, I won the staring contest. Regardless, I find it amusing you'd take to the kid. What's your stake in all of this?"
She (Alice) says nothing, but continues to watch the battle.
After a while, she speaks. "Why do you care?"
"Curiosity, really. I just like understanding and knowing what's going on in the world around me." I mention, seeing Luka look around the battlefield in a heartbeat before dodging another tail attack.
"With someone of your ability?"
"Oh, you mean the speed? Well, that's just training a lot. You could say that I've travelled the equivalent of several worlds. The entirety of the world is a lot more than you'd expect." I say rather cryptically.
"…That girl can use magic, but she's not a monster. I can't feel any of a monster's power from her. What is she?"
"Very special." I laugh at the glare launched at me. "Louise, want me to tell her the truth?"
"I honestly don't care. No one's going to believe us and if they want to mess with us, I have you."
"Well, if you want the truth, we're interdimensional travelers that kinda just mess around and go from world to world when we get bored. Louise is a mage who can use well, magic. Truthfully, I've taken an interest in Luka, so I'll stay around until he can find his true path. He has potential though."
I watch as he hits the ground rolling, trying an attack for Alma Elma's face. It fails as she swats him with her tail, but he recovers smoothly.
"I think I might teach him that move, Louise. He doesn't have an affinity for magic, does he?"
"…No." Alice responds.
"Kuuuuuuurt…"
"Oh come on, it's one of the few things I could gift him with. It's not even magic. It's just using a sword really well."
"I don't think attacks that bend reality itself are something you should teach him."
"What do you intend to teach him?"
"This."
With that, I spark up some electricity and form it into a sword—a katana, at that.
It's a technique I picked up when we screwed up BIG TIME and ended up in some place called the Throne of Heroes. I did though, get a technique called Tsubame Gaeshi. Also known as, as I call it, Triple Overkill Death.
Pretty much, I hit a target three times… at the same exact time. It should be physically impossible, but after doing a ton of shit around the timelines, I've given up on physics.
Alice blinks.
And suddenly the torch near me gets split into three pieces without moving whatsoever.
"You made one stroke."
"Sure, let's go with that." I say with a shrug.
"I can't believe you used just that move over and over again for a whole year of us going around mastering that."Louise grumbles, leaning back. "Oh, he's smartened up."
"It ends here." I announce in a bit of a whisper, seeing Luka with a determined look in his eye.
Luka makes a brash attack. It leaves him open to a smash, but not a grab.
He soars through the air… right to the mast. And with that, he grabs onto the ropes there and swings around, throwing the momentum into his next attack.
"Demon Skull Beheading!"
"Well I'll be damned, it worked." I mutter as Alma Elma uses her hands to clasp the oncoming blade.
"You knew that was going to happen." Louise hisses. "I heard you tell him to force her to use her hands."
"It was the only way I thought he could win. Seeing that he was amazed at my speed, it would make sense to believe he was below my skill level." I explain. "So I gave him a tip. Hopefully he can think on his own later."
I don't bother listening to the conversation they have, other than Alma Elma promising Luka a hellish pleasure later. She takes a look at me, to which I spark up the Gigawatt Blades.
"I won't be so easy a target." I growl. "But if you want to go head to head with me, I dare you."
"A small taste never hurt anyone~" she coos, landing down. "Someone who kept up with my speed… I'll be sure to discover the secret of why."
"Alice, why the fuck is she taking her clothes off?" I half-whine, drawing Derf as he lets me know the magical energy is surging.
"It means as a Succubus, she's getting serious."
"…Then so will I."
And with that, I clench my fists. Let's do this.
"Kurt."
"Louise?" I ask, looking over my shoulder, finding the pinkette with crossed arms and a very pissed off expression. Damn, don't bite your lip like that.
"…Do whatever you need to win."
Oh shiiiiit.
"Wooohooo! Been a while since I've heard those words. You must be hella jealous." I laugh, relaxing in my stance. Anything goes, huh? No need for the usual tense swordsmanship then.
"Relaxing already? Are you making yourself ready for me?" Alma Elma teases, but I only give a smug grin.
"Oh, no, no. On the contrary. Because anything goes for me now. Releasing Self Seal Level One!"
To the air I go.
I activate the ring that we picked up in one of the world we travelled by, allowing for costume transformation. And what costume did I pick?
Well, I look like Zero from Code Geass now. Cosplay worlds were fun.
After that, I extend my electricity wings. Well, they don't actually function like wings, but they're similar to the way the Gigawatt Blades get formed, giving off an aura of white in this dark night. They look almost like angel wings, but again, they're only for show.
Letting my wings extend, clearly impressing Luka as Derf goes into Lightsaber Mode, also known as Covered in Electricity Mode, and I hold him in my right hand. In my left hand sparks up a Gigawatt Blade in the shape of an actual sword as the rest of my body begins to have lightning arc out of it.
My wings flap while I lower myself to the ground with a magnetic field.
"So then, Alma Elma, I see you have control of the speedy winds. But I wonder how they will compare to the speed of lightning. Have at you!"
Everyone blinks.
But I'm faster than that.
Alma Elma is already in the air from an uppercut. And as for myself, the Gigawatt Blade has resparked and I'm in the air, coming back down for the second attack.
Unfortunately, she's ready for the next attack, vanishing as I come through. I don't pause to look for her, a simple Radar Pulse will do just fine. I increase the rapidness of Radar Pulses, being able to form a better real time image of her attacks.
—Left.
I hurl Derf, watching as Alma Elma dodges him. As she goes to grasp me, I backflip, landing a kick onto her chin. On the return, Derf barely manages to graze her shoulder.
Grabbing him quickly, I block her nail strike, causing sparks to fly in the air.
"I see you're not resorting to pleasure on the male body." I comment, trying to adjust my positioning to gain an advantage.
"Hehehe. You're a little different than most. But you'll be easy enough."
What does she—Oh come on.
"Give those back, right now!" I demand as she flies away with my pants and underwear. "I said, give those back!"
"Oh no. She's lost."
Alice and Luka look at Louise, who's shaking her head.
"That naked girl just took his pants. His custom designed and very expensive pants. Sheesh, Kurt can never get a break when it comes to his clothing." She then looks up at the sky. "Hey you! Alma Elma! Give those pants back right now and maybe Kurt won't completely destroy you!"
"I SAID GIVE THOSE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"
"Oh come on Partner, if she did, then you wouldn't be able to have such an experience!"
"I don't give a fuck if she's sucking my dick for point-two seconds in the air, giving me a titjob for half a second, and at one fucking time trying full blown airborne sex, I want my pants back! Do you know how much those cost?!"
Okay, that's it. Coat.
Just as Alma Elma comes through again, I spark up all around my legs, making it so no one could see anything other than a sheer wall of electricity. Should've done this before.
"Come and get iiiiit~" she sings, waving them around like a victory flag.
"YOU BIIIIIIIIITCH!"
She tries in vain to dodge the endless onslaught of Current Launches. Motherfucker, she's better than that Sanae girl when we ended up in some place called Gensokyo! AND STOP USING MY PANTS AS A SHIELD! THOSE ARE NOT YOURS!
The high speed battle continues as I shoot white hot projectiles at her. A few manage to scrape her, but nothing more than that. I need a decisive blow!
"Partner, you're never going to land a hit on her like that. Focus your mind."
"Oh put a sock in it."
"You're making your moves too visible. Does taking your pants really piss you off that much?"
"Somewhat."
"Heh."
"KURT, QUIT PUTZING AROUND!"
"You said do whatever I want to for winning, Louise. I'm just taking my time, making sure that—"
"THAT SHE WHAT, GIVES YOU THREE BLOWJOBS IN THE AIR?! AND DON'T THINK DIDN'T SEE HER TRY TO TRY OUT VAGINAL WITH YOU!"
"I'm trying to avoid that! It's really annoying, you know?! Don't think I'm not trying to beat her ass down!"
Besides, I know how bad dealing with Succubi can go. That fucking Succubus Lair that Louise and I had to deal with… well, let's just say that Louise possesses skills in areas that I now know of that I hope no one else discovers.
"Oh yes, yes! Please, please do that! I'll be waiting for you~"
"SHUT UP!" Louise and I scream at Alma Elma, who only giggles off the death glares.
Besides, I'm still sure Louise is better in the sac—you know what, I'm not going to finish that statement. Let's just finish this up.
"Kurt." Louise growls, clenching her fists down below, her eyes shadowed out by her hair which is starting to float and billow which means let's not piss off Louise.
"…Yes, Louise?"
"Win at this moment. We're going to use it."
"Hai, hai. You never let me have any fun. But I guess I'm sick of this. Let's finish it."
I focus my mind and ready up for the insane speed that I'll require. Strong magnetic fields to move me around. Yes. I can see them now.
"Partner, sheath me, will you?"
"Oh yes, I almost forgot about that."
As soon as Derf is fully sheathed, I warp. Or so it would seem to an ordinary human. In a flash, I manage to grab back my pants and in the same moment appear to put them back on, this time with a tighter belt.
Louise begins the supposed "unsealing" chant below me. We usually just bullshit this up as we go.
"From the hate-scorched skies, with righteous anger in our hearts, I call forth the lightning that smites evil!" Louise shouts to the heavens above.
White glows on my back as I make it start crackling with electricity.
"Thou art the unblemished Maelstrom, GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG!"
On top of my two wings that shift in position, four more grow out. I now bear six wings, shining through the sky as I accelerate, the wind rushing past my ears as I move to get back to the ship. There's a bit of a shockwave as I hard decelerate and brake right in front of the ship.
But yeah this is why I sheath Derf. Because it makes it look more fucking intimidating if I do this—!
I'm pretty sure we're stealing this line from one of the worlds we ran through, but I don't really care at this point.
I can hear Louise chanting out the next words from below as Derf and I join in, the three of us in perfect sync with Derf being the loudest as I hover over the front of the ship.
"I am the innocent rage. I am the innocent hatred. I am the innocent sword. I am DERFLINGER!"
Derf launches himself out of his sheath as lightning strikes up from the heavens. I reach out and grab him back down, aligning his hilt in from of my face.
"Come, Alma Elma! Let us test your speed of wind against the racing of lightning and thunder!"
She can't even keep up. I'm simply too fast.
And totally not because I'm abusing magnetic fields to some ridiculous extents or… some magical equipment we definitely bought on our various travels.
I'm only going to say this once, but damn those cosplay and sometimes sex-crazed worlds we visited has some pretty sweet equipment, but fuck me, those guys are all voyeur fetishists.
Regardless, I've got some bitching equipment.
I allow her to catch up to me, slowly bringing us closer to the ship. As soon as we're on the deck, I let her close the distance with her close, almost pushing back on me. However, I've got the superior footing.
She has to slice wildly with her claws and I'm pretty sure I see some martial arts in her moves, but they barely keep up with me.
I'm a blur to her as she is a still target to me. I'm literally flying circles around her, raining hell down in the form of white hot lightning. Of course, they're only made to injure, not kill. I have no thoughts of killing her, only showing her enough to get her not to mess with me.
Eventually, I decide that it's time to finish this.
Leaving myself purposely open, I allow her to get in close, but then engage in a blade lock of sorts. Her claws against my sword.
"Did you ever wonder why I suddenly let you come this close?" I ask with a smile as Derf's electricity coating changes to form a katana shape. Alice, over on the side, realizes what my plan was. "You're trapped."
Alma Elma doesn't exactly understand, which is why she tries to get away.
Perfect.
The world slows down.
"In this world of Light, there is no place for you of the Darkness! Thirst not! Hunger not! Return to the Void!"
…Swallow Reversal!
Fortunately for her, I strike with the blunt side of Derf. Had I been wanting to actually kill her, I could've done so. She's merely knocked out.
"An angel…?!" Alice hisses, almost seeming like she's hostile for a second.
"No." I answer calmly, the six wings disappearing. "I'm sure it's because of the six wings, right? Well, they're actually just for show. Besides, if I was an angel, I'd hate to meet this world's demons. Let alone think about the quality of your world. If I'm your image of an angel… your world's done goofed."
With that, I elegantly sheath Derf, wiping the blade as if I had drawn blood.
"So Luka, would you like to learn that final technique that I used?"
"Kurt, no!" Louise shouts, but I simply ignore her.
"That was… what was it?" he asks, now intrigued.
"It is a technique called Swallow Reversal, also known as Tsubame Gaeshi. Appearing to be one strike, but three. It requires absolute mastery of the sword and fortunately, your sword just barely fits the requirements to use it. It's long and a little bit curved, so again, would you like to learn?"
He nods.
I pause as Alma Elma wakes up, taking up my six winged form. She looks at Alice, who probably tells her somehow to get the hell out of here. Seeing that I'm crackling with electricity that gives extra incentive. Of course, she blows a kiss to Luka and I, with me having to hold Louise back by the collar.
"Anyway, allow me to show you the principles behind this strike…"
And so, from night to about the time we both hit the sack from exhaustion, I try teaching Luka how one strike becomes three. I think he might be able to get it soon.
As soon as we hit the next town, I immediately visit a window-smith and have him create some glasses. Specifically, Kamina glasses. These things need to exist in every world we visit.
"How do those even stay on your head?" Alice asks as I hand my other pair to Luka. "They should slide right off."
"Because they're that amazing." I blandly say as Luka tries them on, finding them amusing.
"Luka, take those off."
"But Alice, they're actually really comfortable." Luka notes as I mount my motorcycle.
"Anyway, Louise and I are probably going to tear through the countryside, just see what they've got here to offer. I heard there's a coliseum out a ways from here, so I might visit it. Who know what I'll be facing? But anyway, if I hear about trouble happening somewhere, you can bet I'll be there."
"Are you going to just kill everything in your way?" Alice asks rather angrily, almost like a low hiss.
"No. Like I said, I only kill when necessary. I will only kill in the event lethal force is used on me and I see there is no way to deal with them otherwise. Or if they start eating me. In which case, all bets are off. Seriously, I just bought these new pants I swear if they get partially digested, I'm going to be pissed and someone's going to get a blade of white hot burning electricity to the face."
"I thought you were going to say something different, considering the way you stuck around with those mermaids earlier." Louise growls.
"It's been a while since I ate a good cooked fish, Louise. That reminds me, I'm craving sushi."
"What's sushi?" Luka asks.
"A delicacy that probably doesn't exist here." I explain as Louise hops onto the back of the motorcycle. "Anyway, see you guys another time! Yeehaw!"
With that, Louise and I blaze off down the road, leaving the Monster Lord and Hero behind. Well, I suppose hitting up that Coliseum wouldn't be too bad…
Alice knew immediately which Heavenly Knight she should send to watch over him. While Granberia was a master with the sword, Tamamo could at least approach him without triggering any sort of combat insticts.
Someone with speed not only to rival but flat out destroy Alma Elma… that terrified her. And as for that girl, what sort of beast did she have under her control, and what power did she have to have in order to keep that silver haired man under her control?
Just whose side was he on?
"You know, you don't have to be so possessive." I tell Louise as she holds on tighter to me while we blaze through the roads.
"S-shut up." Louise whispers, but I can feel the heat of embarrassment. "It's just that I'm trying to protect those girls from you. Don't make me remind you about how that goddess spent a whole two weeks recovering from the… experience you gave her. Which of course, delayed our departure from the world for another three months because every goddess wanted to break the record of going at it like bunnies for a week straight."
"I warned her what she was getting into…" I mutter.
"But… still, that's why."
"Louise."
"K-kurt?"
"No matter how many girls throw themselves at me, remember that in the end, you're my partner and the person I'll always return to. No matter what, remember that I'll always be with you."
"K-kurt…"
I stop the motorcycle in the middle of the road, underneath a crimson sunset, then face my pinkette partner, patting her on the head.
"Don't worry Louise. We've been together this long now, haven't we?"
I don't stop her as she kisses me for a second, then pulls away.
"Of course… But do you really have to keep getting involved with more women?! Seriously, why does every single women we run into who isn't taken just want to get inside your pants?!"
"Because I'm an electric man."
I get smacked upside the head for that one.
"What? It's true! You know most of the women we run into who are magical or otherwise superhuman wanna know what it's like to have a tiny bit of electricity running through 'em while you know, you do the horizontal mambo."
"Oh you can put a sock in it."
I laugh, but freeze as we hearing rustling. "Well, looks like we're not alone."
Louise's eyes flash, smiling. "…Well then, shall we have a go?"
"Nonlethal, Louise."
"Oh, I know."
And with that, I leap into the air, drawing Derf as we fight for our right to a peaceful night of sleep.
"For the thousandth time…"
"WE DON'T DO TENTACLEEEEES!"
I have no excuse. *prostrates self on ground* I have no excuse.
I literally have no excuse on why this was created.
It just popped into my head.
Yes.
I'm serious.
BUT ANYWAYS! I hope you enjoyed it! I was in the middle of writing Storms Overhead when this popped into my head and I just had to get it down XD
So, I hope you had a bit of fun with this omake! Hopefully this is enough to carry you guys until the next update for Storms Overhead, since I'm gonna be busy with Otakon stuff until I get back and finish up my road trip!
