A/N: And we're back! Yay! –waves FMA flag- Now here we're gonna have two actual bloopers (like what you see at the end of movies) plus one thing that's very much like what we've had in earlier chapters. Hopefully, you guys will still find it amusing.
On with the show…!
From Chapter 3; Attack of the Fangirls
Edward was preparing to turn a corner near a very specific house (slate-gray roof tiles, white walls, nothing special) when abruptly the front door swung open. Gold eyes widened in horror as the screams of crazed fangirls reached his ears and he instantly started running away from the house as fast as he could.
Gold eyes wide, they searched the streets for an outlet, an escape from the rabid fangirls hot on his heels. Sadly, they failed to notice a raise in the concrete underfoot, and found himself stumbling and falling flat on his face. He had only a split-second to recover before the girls dog-piled on him, making it difficult for him to breathe much less escape.
"Star!" the blonde alchemist gasped, desperately reaching toward the directors who weren't too far off. "Ninja! Help…!"
Ninja sighed, tilting her head forward slightly. "Cut!" she ordered, waving for Star to go over to the unfortunate boy. "Get 'em off of him."
"Right." The darker-haired brunette quickly trudged over, waving her arms in a shoo-ing fashion. "Get off, give the guy some air!"
Envy, having heard the commotion, came out of the lamp. Amethyst eyes widened and a broad grin spread out on his face when he saw the girls just barely begin to clamber off of the poor human. "Wow, Pipsqueak…did you have a fall?"
Gold eyes made contact with amethyst ones, flaring with roaring hate. "Shut the hell up," Ed growled, standing up and brushing himself off after making it to his feet.
"Ed does…sorta, have a point," the darker-clothed girl stated, raising her mechanical pencil and tapping her lower lip thoughtfully. "You really shouldn't tease him that much. You'll have plenty of opportunities during the rest of the story, anyway, so don't go running low on humor quite yet."
The genie actor pouted slightly, giving the shorter male a very slight frown.
"Let's take it from the top," Star started with a small smile, raising a finger above her head as if pointing to the sky. "This time, let's see if we can get this scene right!"
Looking down, slate eyes narrowed slightly when they noticed the raise in which Ed had stumbled over. "First…let's see if we can't do something about this…"
So, after hiring some men to add some more concrete to the scene to "mask" the raise, everyone returned to their places and prepared to redo the scene.
–a little later –
Suddenly, the fangirls appeared behind him, hearts for eyes and…well, hearts flying everywhere they went. "We love you, Envy!" they all screamed, reaching out toward the unfortunate genie. One of them yelled "I'm getting a palm tree and naming it after you!"
"Not that palm tree joke again…!" Sucking in as much air as he could into his lungs, he sprinted down the street, obviously faster than the humans chasing him. But as he approached the alchemist's location, he too lost track of where his feet were landing and found himself falling into darkness…and landing in water with concrete bricks underneath.
At the top of the manhole, the fangirls stopped abruptly and looked down with wide eyes, some of them gaping. "Envy! Are you okay?" several asked at the same time, a girl or two leaning forward to see the object of their obsession a little better.
Envy slowly got to his hands and knees, raising a hand to wipe some of the slimy water off his face. "Grr…" Crawling forward a little ways, he frowned slightly when his hands felt something bumpy and leathery to the touch. "Eh?" Amethyst eyes widened when they fell on the head of a reptilian beast, yellow eyes staring hungrily at him and white teeth bared. "Oh, shit…!"
The girls shrieked in alarm and terror as their favorite homunculus was caught in a fight with a sewer crocodile, a large majority of them leaping back and running toward the two nearby producers.
"Envy-chan's in trouble!" they all screamed, a good handful shaking the producers with hysterical expressions.
Star and Ninja shared a slightly worried glance before dashing simultaneously over to the crowd of girls.
"Outta our way!" the shorter of the directors demanded, lightly shoving each girl out of her way until she was standing just before the manhole, both her and her companion watching Envy struggling to hold the croc's jaws open.
"Keep going, Envy!" The darker-haired brunette leaned over a little, cupping her hands around her mouth so she could be better heard. "I think you're winning!"
"Shut the hell up!" Although his voice echoed in the tunnel, he could still be heard clearly by the by-standers above him…and it sounded like he was really straining himself from letting his grip on the croc's jaws from slipping.
The darker-clothed female seemed to take particular note of this, slate eyes narrowing slightly and giving her rather contemplative look a worried tone. "Damn, the lamp's too far away. His oxygen intake's too low… Eh?" Both girls (minus all the fangirls, who had all disappeared by now) looked a little farther down from where they could see, both of them squinting into the darkness. "No, that can't be him…"
"Never fear, my son," came a rather booming man's voice, a white-robed, blonde-haired man stepping out from the shadows and walking up the croc's tail as if it were a catwalk. "Your father is here!"
Star and Ninja stared, looking like they were thinking there was something wrong with Father. "So…cheesy…" they mumbled at the same time, though the lighter-clothed girl smirked after a few seconds.
"He's been reading too many manga's," she whispered to the shorter female, smirking a little wider.
"Psh, no kidding…" the lighter-haired brunette rolled slate eyes before resuming her watch of the somewhat badly planned heroic scene below.
Amethyst eyes hardened, jaws set almost to grinding. "Are ya gonna help me or not!?" he growled, shifting his position to make it easier to hold the reptilian beast's jaws open.
Walking along the croc's back, Father exclaimed in a fake heroic tone, "Of course I'll help you!" Reaching the neck, he kicked the back of the head, leapt off the creature's body, grabbed its tail and threw the massive monster's body against one of the walls. "And the father is victorious!"
Standing up and brushing slime off of himself, Envy watched his father with a rather strange look. "You've been reading those American comics again, haven't you?"
"Hah," came Ed's voice from above, though because no one had noticed him coming the two girls nearly jumped out of their skins. "I could've done a better job of beating that thing's butt. Really pathetic display, there, Father."
The genie actor glared up at the sneering face of his opposition at first, but it quickly dissolved into a mocking grin. "I'd love to see you try, little boy who's too afraid to come down and get dirty!" It was quickly wiped off his face when the croc twirled back around and tried taking another bite out of him. "Ack!"
Father was about to try attacking the scaly beast again except it whacked him with its massive tail before he came too close to the head where his son was being attacked. In not even a second, he was knocked out cold.
Star and Ninja stared hard at each other with similar face expressions. "This is what happens when he let an old man get ahold of too much sugar," they muttered in unison, quickly looking back down the manhole where their star actor was once again under attack.
Trying to hold the jaws open once again, this time preventing a bite around his mid-section instead of his head, amethyst eyes turned up pleadingly toward angry, wrathful gold ones. "Hey, I little help here? Please!?"
"He said 'please'," the darker-clothed female stated in a rather droned tone, turning slate eyes toward the red-cloaked actor.
Ed snorted, snarling slightly with a cold frown on his face. "He also called me a coward. I refuse to help someone who would dare insult me in such a way."
At this remark Envy scowled up at him darkly, giving him his own venomous scowl. "If you're too scared to come down here and fight, then go back to the apartment and drink your damn coffee!"
"GAGH!" the temperamental alchemist yowled, both hands clenched into fists in front of him and eyes shooting daggers. "That's it!!" Leaping down the manhole and landing directly on the croc's shoulder, he punched it in the eye and pulled back the beast's head, allowing the genie actor to escape. Slamming its snout against the wall, the human Pipsqueak leapt off, grabbed it by the tail, and started tossing it back and forth against the walls until the creature was evidently dead. Pausing long enough to catch his breath, he heaved the croc over toward Envy with a growl, smirking slightly when it landed directly on top of his opponent. "Now what were you saying about me being a coward?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The poor genie seemed more frightened by the fact the blonde boy was only walking closer, what with himself being underneath a dead croc and unable to defend himself from an attack. "Really, I'm sorry!"
The only human currently in the sewers gave a wicked smirk. "Really, now?" Returning to his dark scowl, he pointed down at the floor. "Beg properly. On your knees!"
The other male gave him a subtle frown. "How can I get on my knees when I have a rotting carcass on top of me?" he asked dully, pointing at the croc laying on his being.
"Oh." Once again flinging the dead creature away, he started tapping his foot. "Get up." He watched the other stand up. "Now on your knees," he commanded, again pointing down at the ground. When Envy only stood there, Ed ground his teeth and clenched his fists. "I said…on your knees!"
Flinching, the genie actor got down on his knees with an uncomfortable, uncertain expression on his face. "I'm sorry for calling you a coward, really! Don't kill me like you did that crocodile…!"
Ed just beamed down at him. "Good boy!" Looking up at the two directors with an excited gleam in his eyes, he asked, "Hey, can we keep this shot?" His jaw dropped when they both shook their heads. "What!? But-But I got him to beg! On his knees! Why can't we keep this in the story!?"
"Because," Star started with a small sigh, pouting slightly. "Envy wasn't supposed to fall down the manhole to begin with."
"We can't keep any of the scenes from there on out," Ninja finished, looking between her position outside the manhole and the floor toward the bottom of the sewer. Shrugging, she climbed down the ladder and stopped not too far from where the homunculus was. Her partner quickly followed suit.
Giving a quick pout, the red-cloaked boy stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and started walking off. "Man, all of that for nothing…"
Almost the instant the shorter female was at the bottom of the latter, she found herself and Star in the embrace of the very homunculus who was earlier being bullied. "Eh?"
"Thank you, thank you!" Envy paused in his hugging the girls, then abruptly let go. Giving them a stern look, he said in a low voice so that Ed wouldn't hear, "Don't expect that again anytime soon." He shook his head subtly when they looked at each other with broad grins and began to climb the ladder. "Are we gonna finish this chapter or what?"
"Yeah…" With a small giggle and a faint blush on her cheeks, Ninja followed the dark-haired male up the ladder and out through the manhole. Toward the top, she turned down toward Star and whispered in a gleeful tone, "He hugged us, he really hugged us…!"
–a little while later –
Turning two more corners, Envy skidded to a stop and glared savagely at the boy leaning coolly against the fence. "You…!"
"What?" Ed asked calmly, smiling at the fuming genie. "Like you said, it's…uh…" His expression fell before turning toward the directors. "What was my line again?"
"It's not that bad," whispered Ninja to the actor while Star was trying hard not to bust up giggling. Leaning toward her partner and dropping her tone even lower, she asked, "How could he forget a line so simple…?"
"Who knows," the slightly taller girl whispered back, smirking toward the boys on the set. "But it's sorta amusing, right?"
The dark-clothed girl shrugged, surrendering a slight smirk. "Sure, I guess it is." She dropped the expression and a slight frown settled onto her features as she thought out loud, "But we need something funnier, lots funnier…"
A/N: You heard what I said in the chapter XD We need more funny ideas (and, sadly, the way I wrote this chapter made it that much less funny, in my opinion), so if you guys have any ideas, please (and we mean please) give us more ideas!! R&R please
