Disclaimer: The panda is native to india. Oh and I dont' own anything. Except for 8 bottle of beer, two slaves, 33 guns, 21 bombs, 89 packs of cigarrettes, 12 packets of crack, 40 tins of tobbaco and 5 illegle immigrant in my baskment...But that's all legal right?...right?


Zim stroked the radioactive otter. Yes...his new plan would surely take over the world...Hmmm, his plan was SO good, he needed to tell someone about it! And so, Zim walked over to Gir. Gir was being...well, Gir.He was devouring a cupcake. A plastic cupcake.

" I like cheeeeeeseeee!" screeched Gir. Zim frowned.

" So you do. Gir, I-"

" CHEEEEEEEESSSSEEE!"

" Rather...Gir, I have a new plan. You see, using this radioactive otter, I shall hypnotize the PATHETIC MEAT-WORMS of this planet. I shall then rule with them with my iron fist!.!.!.!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Gir smiled. Mini mouse squeaked. Zim sensed suspision.

" You! Obey the fist!" (A/N that's my fav. line form the whole series : ) Zim screamed. Mini moose blinked. Zim grinned. He had shared his INGENIOUS plan with two people already...who else was there? Ah yes...him.

Zim ran outside with his otter and ran next door to a familiar door. Surely the peroson who lived in this house whould appreciate the world being taken over by an alien and his otter. Zim knocked on the door.

A tall, thin, ominous person opened the door. His hair was...odd...it looked like two antennaes. He had a shirt on that simply read 'Z?'. He was holding a knife. Zim smirked.

" I'll have you know that I am going to take over the earth. Not you! Me! Because I AM ZIM!" Zim yelled. The man frowned.

" I need to feed the wall monster." He said.

" Eh?"

" I need to feed the wall monster."

"Eh?"

" Mr.Eff told me to feed the wall monster...and then Psyco-Doughboy told me to kill myself. So I'm going to do that. Oh wait no." said the man, taking out a comic book thing and flipping to the end.Zim cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh shit. I don't die." He said sadly and he slowly closed the door. A minute after he closed the door, a bloodcurling scream could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

"...Forget you." Zim said and he walked away. Zim walked back into his house, hoping to find somebody else to share his brilliant plan with. Sadly, he had already shared his BRILLIANT PLAN with two people. Zim sighed and stepped into the garbage can. He had a sudden relization.

" GIR! WHY ARE THERE SOCKS IN THE GARBAGE CAN?.!"He screammed. Gir came whizzing into the room propplled by monkey dung. (don't ask)

" They were on the menu!" He screiked. Zim cocked an eyebrow. Gir smiled stupidly.

"Imma gorglesboy." He said cheerfully as he walked away to cook gorgles.

" FOOLISH GIR! Always with the gorgles that boy." Said Zim, and he descended into his lab. When he arrived he noted that Gir was there. But he was wearing his disguise.

"Gir?Weren't you just upstairs?" Questioned zimmy.

"Um...uh...waffle?" Said Girs hopefully. Zim observed the fact that Gir was wearing glasses, but he forgot about it. The obvious Dib sighed with relief at zims stupidity. Zim walked over to his loving computer and sat down.

"Computer?"

"Whhaaaat?" It said reluctantly.

"Grant me transmission to the tallest." He said.

Meanwhile at the tallest...

"Mpmmh! Donuts!" Said purple in pleasure.

"MMmmmmm..."agreed red.

" Um...sir? We have an incoming transmission." said a member of the irken crew. Was that all he was good for? To tell the tallest that they had incoming transmissions? To hell with the tallest! He had never wanted to be one of their precious crew members! He had always wanted to be a schooul guidance conselour! Oh life is so sorrowful.

"From where?" asked red.

" um,...Earth." said the now fully depressed crew member.

Both of the tallest sighed and it was put on screen. Zim appeared.

"What is it now zim?" asked red angrily.

Zim smiled,"My tallest, I have noticed that you are closer to the earth than EVER BEFORE and I was wondered if you wanted to see the entire human race fall into comlete destruction and chaos at the powerful hands of ZIM! I made sandwhichs!" He offered. Purple frowned.

" Zim, stop acting like we're all still in 'Backseat drives from beyond the stars'! I didn't like that episode." he said.

"Yeah, neither did I." agreed Red. Zim frowned.

" Oaky now to the REAL reason i called you. I have developed a genius plan that involves a radioactvie otter and the massive. Soooooo, I need the massive for a few days. K?" He asked. The tallest looked at eachother. Red shook his head.

"No way." said purple.

"But! I want to prove to you that I can truly conquer a planet with ease!" begged Zim. Red sighed. Purple rolled his eyes.

"Look Zim. We really are um...busy right now..and we'll be busy for the next..um...eight months. K? Soooo conntact us afterthatandgoodbye!" Said purple, closing the transmission.

Zim stood there staring at the screen with his otter in hand. He had a feeling that the tallest might not like him...but why wouldn't they? After all, he was Zim. And Zim was great...wasn't he? Zim sighed and walked out of the house. If the tallest didn't appreciate his ingenious genius...Then what was the point of even trying? He sighed. Since he wasn't able to win over their respect, and since his SIR unit was a moron, and since The Dib was making his mission ten times harder, and since he wasn't really invader material...

And since he wasn't even a real invader at all...he walked up to the mans house. This was the end. He would kill himself. Or rather, his crazy homicidal neighbor would. Zim knocked on the door and it was immedietly answered.

"Did the DOG send you?"

"Kill me. Please. " Zim said miserably. Nny lifted an eyebrow.

"Um...okay. Sure. The wall needs to be repainted anyways." He sadi, and with that, he killed him.

Meanwhile inside the house...

Gir walked over to a note he had found lying around he picked it up and read it.

"Dear anyone,

I have had my crazy homicidal neighbor kill me. This is surely the end. Good-bye world. I have only one thing to say to the entire world before I die...

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to geico."


Not as random as the last oneshot but shut up. It was just sitting in my documents thing and I didn't wanna make a new fanifc.