Chapter 3: The Unconventionality

Castiel Novak had been shocked into silence that pressed down on the two men lying on the subway floor as busy pedestrians ignored them. Castiel barely had time to consider the fact he was probably crushing the man. He didn't have time to register his impossibly green eyes or lightly freckled face before he was speaking, in a deep, smooth voice.

"Marry me." And Castiel was… confused? Shocked? He didn't really know what the proper word was as the man who he had just barreled into asked it as casually as something like, 'Are you okay?' And Castiel didn't know how to react. So, he did the first thing that came to his mind. He lifted himself up, and punched the guy in the face. Not particularly hard, but hard enough to make him grunt as grab his jaw, as Castiel scrambled, off him, gathering his books. And he averted his gaze as the man sat up, rubbing his stubbled jaw. Castiel was not sure of the etiquette in this situation, and for now chose to believe this was strange dream. Then, as he gathered the books from the dirty concrete, with no help from those walking around them, the man's voice sounded again.

"You… punched me." He said somewhat slowly and in a shocked tone, as if the situation was just as confusing to him as it was to the dazed, red, Castiel, who did not trust himself to speak right now, as the man stood up slowly. Castiel had picked up the last of his books, and was keeping his eyes focused on the ground, hugging them tightly. And suddenly, the man's words registered, and he became slightly angry.

"Of… of course!" He said flustered. "You… you just said…" And Castiel finally dared to look up at the man properly for the first time. He was tall, taller than Castiel with a bulkier frame. He had short, blonde hair and green eyes, a strong jaw, and tan freckled skin. Castiel's first impression was… very handsome. His second impression was… crazy. Crazy man, who asked strangers in the subway to marry him. Even if he didn't look crazy, ad was right now knitting his brows, and opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"I… I…" And Castiel couldn't really handle the situation anymore, and he turned on his heel, turning his back on the man, and stepping onto the subway after scanning his card through the tolls, and giving one last confused glance over his shoulder, while his heart drummed uncontrollably. Finally, as the doors closed, and he sank into a free seat, setting his books on his lap, he whispered to himself.

"What the fuck?"


Dean stood limply in the subway terminal, not really even registering that it was pulling away, and Bobby was definitely going to slaughter him for being late to work. He just stood there, not realizing occasional people bumping his shoulders, briskly walking bye him, or the few, 'Hey! Watch it!'s thrown his way. He just stood there numbly, his arms limply hanging at his side. He couldn't even muster enough emotion to manage being angry at the guy for his hasty exit. How could he? The only thing he could possibly manage thinking was, 'What the hell? What the holy fuck is wrong with me?'

He didn't know what had come onto him. The idea had crept into his mind slowly, and before he could even evaluate it, it had come out of his mouth. He didn't do it on purpose; he didn't know how to stop it. He didn't even know what'd come over him asking a guy he'd never met! Why the hell did he think that was even in the same universe as a good idea?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Dean, you are so stupid." He mumbled to himself. Now he felt like some Subway weirdo… and by the look in the guy's eyes, he'd thought so too. Speaking of those eyes… Dean shook his head. But no matter what, he could not clear his head of the blue orbs, which ran through his mind over and over. And Dean realized that he didn't even know what the guy looked like. The only thing he'd seen were those eyes… nothing else. And as Dean stood there, receiving several very annoyed looks, he finally bent down to pick up his Metro-Card.

In the few short moments that had passed, Dean decided to pretend this had never happened. It was a strange, unusual fluke, and Dean had done something beyond the realm of strange, and he would pretend blue eyes didn't exist, and he would go back to trying to solve his problem. When his fingers finally grasped his card, his eyes drifted to the side, locking onto something black. Dean moved toward it, picking it up. It was a leather wallet, one of those kinds that folded up, with a slot for credit cards and drivers' licenses. Dean quirked an eyebrow and straightened up, eyeing the thing, before flipping it open, and being pierced by a picture of shocking blue eyes. Dean was momentarily paralyzed before he shook himself out of it, and realized, 'Oh shit, this is, the guy's wallet!' Finally, he inspected the rest of the picture, finding that this man was almost as beautiful as his eyes. Tousled midnight hair, sticking up at odd angles, and full pink chapped lips. Smooth skin and a straight nose, and light stubble. The expression on his face was straight and emotionless. Well, this confirmed it was a guy and not a chick with a really deep, sexy, and rumbly voice.

Dean studied it for several more moments before scanning over the rest of the license. Male, twenty-two years old, named Castiel Novak. 'Huh,' Dean thought, 'weird name…' He folded up the wallet, and slipped it into his back pocket. Then, a startling moment of clarity hit him.

He'd have to return this. He'd have to see the guy… Castiel… again. "Well…" Dean said, looking at the empty rail where the subway had been moments before. "Fuck."


Castiel rode on the subway in silence. His thoughts were racing one thousand miles a minute, and he needed to calm them, before his head exploded. On the last stop an old lady had gotten on the bus, and he'd quickly surrendered his seat to her, and was now gripping to subway pole with one hand, books tucked under the other arm. And Castiel barely noticed that they reached his stop through his busy thoughts. He filed out of the subway, (this time looking carefully so he did not bump into people) preparing to walk the block to the library. And although he tried to be aware of his surroundings, he was in a stupor.

But… what was to be expected of him after being asked that by a complete, handsome… stranger? It was like a really bad Disney movie fairytale… or a really creepy episode of Murder Mysteries… "Where are they now?." He couldn't decide which. He decided the second one was probably more plausible. The sad thing was, the creep probably got some poor old girls to fall for it… maybe he should call the police…. But he couldn't exactly report the guy for asking Castiel to marry him, could he? Castiel sighed heavily and sunk his face into his red scarf, which hid under the collar of his trench coat, as he extended an arm out and pushed open the library's glass door. He looked up at the bulletin board as he entered letting loose another sigh when he realized the poem still wasn't there. He turned his head to face Mrs. Rosen, the librarian who was currently working the shift. He turned the corner of his mouth up in a small half smile, his cheeks rosy with the cold. She offered him a large one in return, eyes wrinkling and lips parting. Castiel nodded and walked to the book cart, pushing it to the section where they needed to be shelved.

Mrs. Rosen was nice… a little weird. Her name was Becky, and that's what he called her, she was obsessed with this book series by this Professor Carver Edlund, about these two sisters Jenny and someone… or brothers… or something. Anyway, she was pretty weird and practically lived and breathed that book, and last he'd heard, she was actually dating the guy who wrote them (not like she didn't tell him, she chatted constantly about everything and anything… but her constant chatter was nice for quiet Castiel.) 'Lucky break for her,' is what Castiel had always thought.

Not that Castiel was bitter… he thought as he shelved 'Great Expectations'. It was not his fault that his entire love life had summed up to one boyfriend, two crushes, and now… a subway stranger asking for his hand. Castiel sighed again and shelved 'Grapes of Wrath.' He looked down and saw the rest of the books were children's books. So with a heaving sigh, he pushed the cart forward, wheeling it to the colorfully painted children's section.

His eyes scanned over the rows and rows of spines as he slowly made his way to his destination. He loved books, and had been reading for longer than he could remember. His life had always been… dull… un-exciting…. except for the times when it was miserable. So he'd escaped through books. He'd escaped from his sister's illness and his father's wrath. He'd escaped from the taunting at school, and everything else. He'd found solace between bound pages, a world that was better, more interesting, and happier than his own. Sometimes the world was worse. That was okay. It was a different kind of pain than his. Someone else's sadness to focus on. Someone else to feel sorry for. Sad books were probably what saved him. It got to a point in school where the teasing… was unbearable. The taunting was horrible, and when a popular boy had pretended to be interested in him for no reason other than to humiliate him, he couldn't take it.

He'd been the first to cut himself. Not Anna. It was deep and long and at the time, it made him feel free. It lessened the emotional pain, gave him something physical, something else to concentrate on. The scars still wrapped around his wrists, little devils grabbing onto him. But that is all they were anymore. Scars. He stopped for the most part when he read sad books. They were another pain to concentrate on… better than his physical pain. Much better than his emotional pain. It was the best kind of pain he'd even felt, pain that did not belong to him.

Teachers had been concerned for a while in his depressing taste in literature, but he did not expect them to understand that the books were not hurting him at all; they were helping them. So he ignored the stares and the names… and in rare occasions when it became too much, he would sometimes find solace in that jagged release, let himself breathe through new cuts. But that stopped when he found Anna. When he walked in on her in that bathtub, any desire he'd felt to hurt himself… any urge he had disappeared. When he saw his sister's pale face, trying to gasp out his name with her pasty lips… he shuddered. He realized how horrible it really was… a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The scars ashamed him… they really did… but in a way, they helped him understand Anna. He talked to her, was there for her, tried to give her will to live.

'It's good I don't feel an urge to do that anymore…" He mused as he shelved 'The Cow Who Jumped Over the Moon.' 'Gabriel would not be able to handle it.' Castiel turned back to the white-painted metal cart, his sweater-clad arm (he's discarded his trench-coat in the coat room) reaching for 'Babar the Elephant goes to the Zoo.'

"An elephant going to the zoo? Doesn't that seem a bit strange?" Castiel nearly dropped the book at the voice. People did not usually approach him, let alone while he was working. However, he quickly composed himself, and looked up to see a man… and then… kept looking up to find his face. The man was ridiculously tall, with long limbs and large hands… a sasquatch. Castiel mused as he finally saw the man's kind hazel eyes… and shaggy brown hair. 'He needs a haircut,' flitted through Castiel's mind before he smiled.

"Can I help you?" He asked. The man smiled in return, his upturned nose giving a small twitch with the movement. Despite the man's huge stature, he looked young, definitely no older than Castiel.

"Yeah actually." He said, glancing around the painfully colored room. "I'm herein town to surprise my brother… Dean." Castiel stepped away from the book cart and the crowded aisle, gesturing for the giant man to follow him. "I was on the phone with him this morning…" The man said, following Castiel into the open area of the library. "The jerk had no idea that I was here." He gave a small smile, and Castiel immediately liked him. He was kind and smart looking, although definitely not the type Castiel would be sexually attracted to…

'Like the man in the subway…' Castiel quickly halted that train of thought and forced a smile tilting his head back to see the man's face again. "That's nice… but uhm… what do you need?" The man looked embarrassed, shaking his head.

"Sorry, sometimes a share too much. Dean always says that." Castiel raised his eyebrows, as the large man continued to share anyway." So, my wife and I are both really into books, and Dean… well… Dean doesn't read. It's not like he isn't smart… because he is! He's an artist and everything!" Castiel couldn't help his warm smile.

"You sound very proud of him." Sam laughed.

"Yeah, he's really talented. Anyway, he's not much of a reader, but I was wondering if you could maybe help me find a book for him, as a present… something not mushy… maybe with some violence or like… deep rooted messages?" Castiel stared at the man (a habit of his) for several moments, before slowly nodding.

"Yes… I think I may be able to help you." The Giant's face split into a huge smile.

"That's awesome…" He trailed off.

"Castiel. My name is Castiel." Sam wrinkled his eyebrows.

"Castiel? Well, that's a cool name… very mythology based. An angel, right?" Castiel nodded in slight disbelief.

"Most people do not know that…" Sam smiled looked away.

"Yeah well, when we were little our mom used to tell my older brothers a lot of stuff about angels… I don't remember but, when we were growing up, he told me, so…" The man looked back. "I'm Sam." He extended his hand, and Castiel reached forward, and gripped it lightly, and Sam violently shook. Although Castiel liked this man, he could not help agreeing with Sam's brother. Sam did share too much.

"Anyway, Sam… your book?" Sam dropped Castiel's hand and nodded.

"Oh, yeah… the book, you got anything?" Castiel walked away, waving with his hand at Sam, in a 'come with me' motion. Castiel immediately begun scanning over shelves, long fingers barely brushing spines of books as he read each title briefly, memories from the books he'd read flashing through his brain. Finally, he found it. One finger deftly separated from the hand, reaching up and pulling to top of the book out, allowing it to fall forward. He grabbed the now jutting-forwards hardcover with his hands and yanked it out, feeling the other books slide against it, and finally surrender. He straightened up and handed the book to Sam.

"Here." He said quickly. Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he read the title.

"The Unconventionality?" Castiel nodded.

"I believe your brother will enjoy it. It does have romance involved, but violence as well, and the underlying message is quite fascinating. It is one of my personal favorites… it is a long book… take as long as you need with it… I will see you are not fined when it is returned." Sam smiled, feeling the book's cover.

"Thanks Castiel, really." Castiel blushed and smiled, waving a hand.

"It is not an issue, truly, now come over here and I will check the books out for you." Sam followed and Castiel took 'The Unconventionality" and scanned it, handing over to Sam. He waved and walked towards the door, book in hand.

"Thanks again." And with that he pushed the door, disappearing into the cold. Castiel smiled a bit and bent over, picking up some of the books from the return basket. Suddenly, a voice sounded behind him, causing him to drop the books and straighten up, banging his head on the shelf above him.

"Who was that?" Castiel slowly stood, rubbing his head, and sent a subtle glare to a wide-eyes Becky.

"That was a man looking for a book for his brother… his name was Sam." Becky raised an eyebrow.

"He was hot." Castiel sighed, leaning to pick up the books.

"What about Chuck?" Becky sighed.

"Chuck is the yin to my proud yang. That does not mean a girl is not allowed to look… and speaking of hot guys, are you free next Saturday? Because I kind of want to set you up with my friend Vlad!" Castiel just rolled his eyes.


Dean Winchester was not happy with his life at the moment. The guy's wallet was burning a hole in his back pocket, his life was a lie, Bobby had given him shit for being late, and the stupid, goddamn car he was working on would not fucking start.

"Fucking shit!" He yelled again from under the car, dropping his hands from what he was working on, and to his side, looking for the wrench he needed. The roller he was on kept steadily drifting from under the car, and he had to anchor his legs solidly on the concrete to keep himself in place. It was not his fault Bobby wouldn't buy one with a goddamn stopper. Speaking of Bobby, his voice echoed through the garage at that moment.

"Shut it you 'idgit! Do you ever consider there might be customers in the shop?"

"No!" Dean bit back sharply. Bobby cursed. Dean sighed in exasperation, dropping the wrench. Then a third voice joined the conversation.

"Insulting the boss Dean?" This voice was unusually close and startled Dean, making him sit up and bang his head on the car's undercarriage.

"Fuck!" Dean yelled at the ringing pain. Bobby yelled at him again. Dean just cursed again, quieter, before letting his legs go, and using his arms to push himself out from under the car. He looked up to the smiling, bitchy face of his younger brother standing over him.

"You are such a bitch." Dean said, rubbing his head, before Sam reached down, helping him up.

"I love you too bug brother." Dean just smirked.

"What the hell is your giant ass doing here? You're supposed to be in California or some shit with your lovely wife." The sentence was said sarcastically, with a smile on his face… but then… reality sunk into Dean. What was Sam doing here? What the fuck was Sam doing here? In the middle of his stupid fucking crisis, and lie… while Dean was supposed to be finding a lover he didn't have? What would he tell Sam? Had his parents seen Sam yet? He tried to keep his face neutral… but inside, he felt like freaking out.

Sam just smiled, the big loon. "I came to give you a surprise visit, mom and dad suggested it, Jess is back at the house, we're staying there." Dean registered this bit by bit, mentally checking that he was okay.

"So uhm…" Dean tried for nonchalant. "Have you… spoken to mom and dad yet? Like, anything important?" Sam looked confused.

"Uhh, no… I came right to see you, why?" Dean answered a bit too quickly.

"No reason." And then a wave of nausea washed over Dean. Sammy was his little brother, the one thing he'd loved unconditionally for his whole life. And lying to him made him want to go home and drink. And sleep. And bury himself in guilt. He risked a glance at Sam, who looked confused, but seemed content to let it go.

"Whatever jerk."

"Bitch." Was Dean's automatic response, and this small bit of normalcy eased his nerves somewhat. Sam grimaced.

"Well then, grease monkey…" A glance downwards showed that Dean was indeed covered in grease. "I guess you don't want my present?" Dean smirked at his brother.

"Well, is it dumb?" Sam scoffed and reached into his bag, pulling out a thick, hardcover book.

"Not according to the library guy, he recommended I bring it for you to read." Dean took the book, looking at the cover.

"The Unconventionality?" Dean looked up teasingly at his brother. "You nerd." Sam grimaced at him.

"You're welcome." Dean truly smiled for the first time all morning, despite the crappy way everything was going today, he couldn't deny that his brother's presence was cheering him up. And the fact that he brought him a book was very… Sammy. And Dean really didn't mind a bit. Though he would not express such girly sentiments.

"Thanks Sammy." Is what he did say, taking the book (careful not to get car grease on it) and putting it in the inside pocket of his bag, backpack thing. Sam smiled.

"So Dean, how is everything going?" Sam asked, taking a seat on a stool, bringing him just below Dean's eye level. Dean had to bite back a laugh.

"To be honest Sammy, not so well." Sam gave him a look.

"Yeah, why's that?" And he could do it. Dean could tell Sam everything… or he could start now… he was already on a lying streak. He settled for the middle. He was tempted to say, 'you'll find out soon enough.' What came out was,

"Work troubles, I guess. I'm kind of having a slow down with the painting too… nothing really to inspire me… wow I sound gay." Sam gave him a look that plainly said, 'well…' "Shutup." Dean said, ignoring Sam's smirk. He may be into guys, but he was not gay, gay. No musicals. No pink. Now he felt like a stereotypical asshole. Sam just kept smirking, and Dean looked at his brother, and felt himself smile. At least something was going okay…


"Castiel! We just got some new magazines in! Will you organize them?" Castiel looked up from his book to Becky's pleading face.

"Why can't you?" Becky sighed.

"I wish I could. I have a field trip of kindergarteners. They are coming for story reading today, and I have to clean the kid's section… wanna trade jobs?" Castiel quickly shook his head.

"No thank you." And with that Castiel got up and walked over to Becky, taking the box form her grasp. It was heavier than Castiel thought, and his knees bent slightly as he carried it to the magazine rack, then set it down. Afterwards he walked back to the desks, and grabbed the labeller and cataloger for magazines. Castiel had to stick a bar code, and an author, and ID number on them with these little automatic labelers before putting them away in alphabetical order. It was a boring chore. He tore the packing tape away from the box after sitting down cross-legged. The tape came off in one clean rip with a loud sound; bits of brown fuzz-like stuff sticking to the tape. He balled it up and put it aside, flipping the box open, and reaching in.

He sat there for about ten minutes, putting magazines away, until on his fourteenth magazine, a flash of green caught his eye. He quickly flashed his eyes down and studied it more closely, and there he was.

He was met with an image of the man from the subway, smiling and talking to another person… it was a candid shot, the man did not know he was being photographed.

Castiel stared for several more moments, at the kind green eyes, and the short brown hair, with scattered blond highlights. He took in the sparse spatter of freckles, before his eyes moved up to the title. 'A Solitude Lifestyle' and Castiel paused for several moments, before a slow smile spread over his face. "Well, what do you know?" At least he wasn't a murderer…


Dean was in the Impala, looking down at the wallet in his hand. His heart was pounding out of his chest… and his foot was on the gas petal, on the verge of pressing. He had one decision to make. He had to give the guy back his wallet! It was just… the right thing to do!

He stared at the address on the driver's license for what seemed like forever, the soft playing Motorhead spilling from the Impala's radio, and making the time seem more thick, like molasses spilling over him, drowning him. He stared at the piercing blue eyes… and thought of his predicament. His foot pressed down a bit more… and then his mind drifted back to the subway incident, and the pressure lessened. Finally he scoffed, and said aloud,

"Jesus man, when did you become such a pussy? Dude needs his wallet back!" And with that he drove away, intent on finding that apartment.


Castiel entered his apartment and sighed, dropping his coat on the floor, and letting it pool into a ball. "Hello? Gabriel?" He called out. The silence rang in his ears and Castiel sighed, toeing off his shoes and entering the apartment. He turned around and locked the deadbolt, and in three large strides, settled into his couch. He exhaled loudly allowed his body to melt into the worn fabric. His eyes drifted closed.

He'd had a hard day. First with the subway guy, and then with the little kid's party and the missing poem. Clean up after the party had been a bitch. Then he's left late, and he'd not wanted to take the subway again after the incident. His mistake… the walk home was awful and cold. And to top it off, he still didn't know what to do about his student loans, and Gabriel was still missing. Castiel felt as if he could sleep for one hundred years.

He breathed in and out, and when he finally began to relax, numbness creeping into his arms and legs, and sleep crowding his mind, a knock sounded at the door. Castiel let out a long groan as feeling came back into his body. His annoyance was replaced with relief when he realized it must be Gabriel. He slowly dragged himself up, rubbing his face, and dragging a hand, further messing his hair.

He stood up fully, and became annoyed as he walked to the door, and realized Gabriel must've lost his key. Castiel scowled and reached the door, twisting the gold metal knob and yanking the door open. "Gabriel, I swear if you lost another key-"

Castiel froze. Staring at him were deep green eyes. Standing in front of him was the man from the subway. Silence hung in the air for several moments until finally, the man spoke.

"Hey."


So, like it? Hate it? Review it? I like the latter of the options, but you know, I'm just a struggling author/supernaturalist/mishaminion... so...

Anyway, if you want more... yay!

Love,

ImpalaPorn