Quickly and lastly. Marvel Comics, Silence of the Lambs and Mary Tyler Moore references, ya'll. All of this is a machine gun of drabble. Impressions of feelings. Goodbye, Glee.
She tried to explain to herself that she was merely hungry. Or starving maybe. Starving for Lima. Starving for Finn or even anyone she'd ever, ever ever known in Lima. Her parents, Kurt, Mercedes—even Karofsky. Anyone to ground her in a place she'd always wanted but where she felt so completely at sea.
It was late afternoon. But there she was. An anchor. The anchor. The prettiest girl Rachel had ever seen or known. She completely hated herself for crying because Quinn was really there. Right in front of her.
Quinn Fabray had magically, incredibly and unbelievably made a trip just to see her. Entirely and only to see her.
She felt so stupid and young that she wanted to die because it was Quinn.
But Quinn just smiled and very firmly hugged her. "We're in Grand Central Station, Rachel! This is insane! I'm so excited!"
They took her travel case to Rachel's apartment and Quinn laughed and Rachel laughed because she finally had someone to laugh with. Or for. She didn't know which.
She almost never laughed these days.
She desperately wanted to.
"Rachel—this apartment's so small it's—I don't even know—if you were just a little more Reed Richards, you could make toast while you were peeing."
"I tried—it didn't work."
"Of course you did. I want to go to Broadway, okay?"
Okay.
They took the subway.
They went to an Indian restaurant on the way.
They laughed and talked and Rachel finally, finally felt the magic of New York because she was seeing it through Quinn's eyes. New York was a dream she couldn't see once she'd gotten there. It terrified her being there. Her dream was so scary but Quinn made New York seem real—and manageable. Quinn laughed and didn't care. Except about her. Quinn cared about her.
That was scary.
They didn't really quite know what to do.
Movie.
They watched a movie.
Swimming Pool. Ozon.
"You're not sleeping on the floor!"
"Rachel—it's not even like I'm sleeping on the floor. Right next to your bed's your kitchen. I'm sleeping in the kitchen."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Your apartment is perfect, Rachel Berry. Perfectly Mini-Me."
"2300 bucks a month. Can you believe it?"
"Are you—really? Fuck."
"Yeah."
Long, long pause.
And Rachel had thought they could only do that texting.
"Please get in bed. I'm so happy you're here. Please."
As the words left her mouth she realized they sounded so lame. And needy.
Quinn didn't make a joke.
Quinn managed to stay remarkably far away from her in her tiny bed.
"Goodnight, Rachel. You're happy anyone's here. It doesn't matter that it's only me."
She turned away from Rachel.
That was so Quinn.
So always brutally accurate.
Rachel forced herself not to cry.
There was no aftermath. No emotional hangover. Breakfast was surprisingly easy and fun. Quinn had always made everything ever hard for her but she made everything here easy. Fun.
"Put a hat on Rachel—you're taking me to Times Square later."
"Why do I need a hat?"
"Trust me."
Central Park was more interesting with Quinn.
Quinn was so much more interesting than New York.
Rachel had never realized that.
She wondered where she'd actually been for the last two years.
Ethiopian food.
She'd finally made Quinn flail.
"Rachel, this is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth. Can I have a civil ceremony with injera? Because why not, right? This is New York."
She felt so strange. The Village was nice. New York, with Quinn, felt real. Not scary. Real.
Quinn was haggling over a purchase.
Rachel Berry: Finn? It puts the lotion on its skin
She was surprised that he answered right back and staggered that he'd understood her allusion.
Finn Hudson: Clarice? I can't believe she sent that—I'm bathing in it, baby!
Rachel Berry: She's fussing over a price—I'm watching.
Finn Hudson: Who? Q? She's with you?
Rachel Berry: Visiting
Finn Hudson: Good
Rachel Berry: I miss you, Finn
Finn Hudson: I miss you more. Sorry so quick but gotta go—don't forget to be happy, okay?
Rachel Berry: Finn
Finn Hudson: I really have to go. Really. You do too
Rachel Berry: Finn
Finn Hudson: Love you! Jump team! Army Rangers!
Rachel Berry: Finn
Long, long pause.
Finn Hudson: Please. I love you forever. Please just please let's stop
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: Okay. Right. Go. Jump out of a plane if that's what you want to do—you're crazy!
Finn Hudson: I love you so much. Please jump 2. Please. Talk to you after, buddy
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: I'm happy we're still buds
Finn Hudson: Until the day I die, Rachel
And then Quinn smiled at her. Five bucks off the price on the blouse.
Times Square at dusk.
Rachel came here every other day to feel exhilarated. And always after, a little crushed.
Quinn was more incandescent than the lights that had always nearly overwhelmed her. She didn't know why she hadn't known that.
Quinn shocked her. Shocked as in real shock when she suddenly broke into song. And really, really, embarrassingly loudly.
Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Quinn seemed to think Times Square was meant for her because she just swung her arms wide and danced without a care in the world.
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all
Quinn didn't lower her voice for the next verse. Rachel would have. It didn't matter.
How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving
Quinn was singing and no one cared.
New York didn't care that Quinn was singing. Loudly—crazily. But Rachel had to admit. Singing well, with none of the pitchy problems of the past. They'd have to talk about how that had happened.
New York didn't care that she was lonely. New York didn't care that she didn't know what she was doing. New York didn't care that her fiancé was gone. Forever. New York was New York and would always be New York.
And she was Rachel Barbra Berry.
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all
Rachel suddenly understood why Quinn had asked her to wear a hat and with last line of Quinn's song, she threw it into the air. Throwing it all in. Her dreams, her hopes, her life. All in.
New York! She was in New York!
They held hands on the subway home.
Hours later, Quinn kissed her on the cheek as they went to bed.
Rachel simply said, "You're kidding, right?"
Quinn laughed.
Rachel laughed.
Finally.
New York.
