This chapter only serves the purpose of wrapping up 'Audition'. And letting me throw a not-so-dirty scene in there. Lets just say Quinn's flying solo for a little while. This took aaaaaaggggeeeesss for me to write and upload, mostly because I was on holidays. Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you guys.
Her day began with a slushy to the face. Blue and cold, it slid slowly under her clothes, through her hair, down her face
Mercedes and Kurt came to her rescue, peeling away from her skin the now blue pale lace of her dress, washing her hair in the bathroom sink and fetching her clean clothes.
Re-dressed and holding her head high, she left the bathroom and almost collided with Sue Sylvester stalking through the hallways.
"Q!" She barked, making Quinn jump in shock.
"Sorry Miss Sylvester." She immediately apologised, stepping away from the cheerleading coach.
"I've been looking for you." Sue told her menacingly, and Quinn would have stepped back again, but there was a row of lockers in the way.
"Why?" Quinn tried not to cringe away, but Sue looked angry, not that she ever looked happy.
"Still going to those church groups?" Sue asked, rounding in on Quinn like she was going to strike.
"I still talk to my pastor and gave a couple of talks at youth groups." Quinn didn't admit she'd almost stopped going to church altogether, bar her few appearances to warn other young Christians away from premarital sex. Beth was like a living breathing warning to the danger of unprotected sex.
Sue stepped back a little and crossed her arms over her chest.
"My confetti cannons got taken away, budget cuts." She announced, and Quinn tried not to laugh at what she'd already heard about, it seemed a fitting punishment for glory seeking Sue.
"That's too bad." Quinn squared her shoulders a little and arched an eyebrow, trying to look confident. "I don't see how I can help though."
"Many church groups would sponsor a team helping a teen mother to rehabilitate." Sue pointed out.
"You want me back on the Cheerios?" Quinn asked, disbelieving. "I thought I betrayed your confidence and let you down?"
"And you'll probably deafen the other girls with the sounds of your stretch marks rubbing together." Sue added unhelpfully. "But I need my budget restored. What do you think, want to lose forty pounds?"
Quinn glanced down at her body, her former insecurities creeping back, as if propelled from Sue's very direction.
The memory of her slushy facial versus the restricting material of her Cheerios uniform became a fixture in Quinn's mind, even as she mumbled an excuse and made a break for the choir room, which, much to her relief, was empty.
Sinking into a seat, she closed her eyes and mentally pictured Beth, her soft gold curls, bright blue eyes that looked at the people and object around her in awe. And then Quinn thought about the hours and hours of Cheerios practice. The pain, the tension, the Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse.
"Everything okay?" It was Finn who found her first, sitting next to her, but not leaning too close, Quinn smiled wryly, thinking of his dedication to Rachel, and how she would give anything to have that kind of devotion from a boy, the devotion Finn had once tried to show her.
"Are you happy?" She asked Finn in all seriousness. He was quiet for a moment before he answered.
"Well, dating Rachel is ok, I guess." He shrugged, a lopsided grin on his face. "She's controlling, and she dresses funny, but I really like her, and her dad's are cool."
Quinn laughed softly, thinking about a dinner at the Berry house.
"Are you happy?" Finn turned the question around on her, almost startling Quinn, who thought about it for longer than a few moments.
"Yes." She said. "And no. Beth is perfect, at home, at Glee, I'm so happy, in a perfect place I thought I'd never get. But I'm lonely, because when you have a baby, you can't go to Breadstix, or the movies. I can't go on a date, not that anyone wants to ask me, and I can't talk on the phone all night, or message people. I slept in the same bed as Puck for four months, it's like I can't get used to being without all these people around me."
She paused to think about her verbal outburst. "Sorry." She shook her head.
"No." Finn put a hand over hers. "It's okay."
"I shouldn't be burdening you with all this." Quinn stood and wiped under her eyes, not even aware that she'd been crying until she felt the tears on her cheeks.
"You've always got Glee club. And Puck, he loves you," Finn paused for a moment. "I guess he just doesn't know how to show it."
"Thanks Finn." Quinn hugged him, enjoying the contact before letting go. "Rachel's really lucky to have you."
"And Beth is lucky to have you." He told her.
"She sent her to a crack house?" Quinn frowned at what she was hearing from Mercedes.
"Apparently, not an 'active' crack house. Whatever that means." The were in the seating area of the auditorium watching the band set up, while the other Glee club members casually scattered around the seats talking, Quinn could feel Puck's eyes on her but chose to ignore him, instead watching a pretty Asian girl reading over sheet music with the drummer.
Quinn shook her head in amazement. "Rachel is truly dangerous." She said this like she hadn't known it all along.
Mercedes nodded. "Did you hear Brittany accused the new coach of touching her?"
Quinn looked bewildered, looking around to see Brittany staring off into space, eyes glazed over, Santana at her side.
"Coach Beiste?" Quinn laughed in disbelief. "Let me guess, Miss Sylvester?"
The two girls swapped smiles as Mr. Schue entered the auditorium and the rest of them gathered around and watched the new girl move to the center of the stage.
"Hi, I'm Sunshine Corazon and I'll be singing the song 'listen' from the movie 'Dreamgirls'." She looked nervous and Quinn felt a pang of sympathy for the girl, not because she was new, or was going to sing in front of strangers, but because for some reason, she had landed herself in the warpath of Rachel Berry.
Quinn leaned against the divider and was not surprised when Puck swung himself up to sit next to where her elbows were resting, seemingly ignoring Santana who sat on his other side, and when Rachel turned around to make a snotty comment, he issued a bored sounding "shut up" that had Rachel huffing and spinning back around.
Sunshine's audition was simple and powerful, and Quinn found herself swaying along with the others, clapping as Sunshine belted out the final notes and was welcomed to the Glee club.
The next day however, they were then informed that Sunshine had been poached by Vocal Adrenaline and had to sit through a narcissistic rendition of 'What I Did For Love' by Rachel that was downright painful.
Sue's offer was still lingering in the back of her mind, so for the first time in six months, she lingered after school and snuck into the gymnasium where the Cheerios were climbing on each others shoulders to form a pyramid, helped along by Sue who insisted on shouting insults at the girls. Quinn watched Santana, at the bottom of the pyramid, buckling under the weight of another girl and for a moment remember the time when it was her on top, high above all the others, wind blowing through her ponytail, smile on her face, compliments being thrown at her.
And then she was back in reality, getting a ride home with Kurt, walking through the front door to find a grumpy Beth, a tired Judy and bills from the hospital.
Stepping on the scales before she went to sleep was like a form of self punishment, the cherry on top of a bad day, as a cheerleader, and a teenage girl, she knew what it was like to be neurotic about her body and her looks. Beth had changed everything about her body though, her breasts, stomach, hips and thighs, the stretch marks she'd prayed so hard not to get were there, think white lines she tried not to look at, rubbed cocoa butter into every night. But some things had changed, her stomach was flat again, her hips starting to slim, her breasts were going to be bigger until she stopped breastfeeding or expressing milk, but Quinn felt no inclination to do so just so she could have her pre-baby body back, she knew it didn't work like that and to think as much was selfish.
That night as she lay in bed, her mind replayed scenarios of Puck running his hands over the swell of her belly, feeling in fascination as Beth kicked at his hand, placing kisses on her skin until her reached her lips. Like any hot blooded male, he'd appreciated the swell of her breasts, had been fascinated with how sensitive they were and despite her objects and his own callous words, he seemed to enjoy her growing body.
When Quinn lived with Puck, it always seemed like when they started getting hot and heavy, his mother would walk in, or rap on the door, or Hannah would want some attention from her new best friend. She'd always had the mindset that her relationship with Puck was because she was carrying his baby, because she was forced to live with him, because she was hormonal, and towards the end of her pregnancy, when she went to live with Mercedes, she though the best thing to do was cut Puck off.
He took her to the obstetrician, stuck by her side in Glee, even bought her bacon burgers in a big for her attention, to make up for the jerky comments he made in passing, or when she was hormonal. But Quinn wouldn't go further than kissing him chastely, and in the end it had sent him right back to Santana.
But lying on her bed, with a cool breeze playing across her heated skin from a late Summer, Quinn thought about the long four months it had been since he'd touched her, slipped a hand between her legs and was surprised by how her body reacted.
Thought about his arrogant smirk, the swell of his muscles, the prickly stub of his unshaven face and head in the morning when he woke her by muzzling her affectionately, and the very few times she'd let him have his way, a desire born of raging hormones and the compliments he paid her as he worshipped her body, slipped past her defences, held her gently or simply used her, each time dragging her higher than before until she crashed into a pile of bliss.
And when, alone, she peaked, his name slipped from her lips in a quiet raspy moan, and feeling so many emotions, a twist between guilt, shame, satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment, she washed her hands in the bathroom and regarded her reflection, messy hair, flushed cheeks and a spark in her eye she only seemed to have when Puck touched her.
Self satisfaction came in first, and feeling better than she had in months, Quinn slipped back between her sheets and fell asleep.
I'm almost looking forward to writing out the episodes when Quinn and Puck aren't really noticeable. Did anyone notice their dirty dancing in the promo for Britney/Brittany was never seen on the episode, I mean you saw a little, but not the dry humping in the promo. Unhappy. And the 'Audition' promo shots where Puck looms behind her as she makes her post baby Cheerios debut in the hallway.
And although you may be fans, I hate Sam. Because as Santana says, he has zero game. And seems more appropriate for a relationship with Brittany, I mean I like the kid, just not with Quinn.
