Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb. I do own Mr. Bonesworth and the poems. Please enjoy.
PHINEAS'S POV
When Vanessa dragged Ferb away from me, Isabella walked over to me and started to talk to me about the homework that I didn't do. I tried to tell her that I didn't really care, but then Buford walked over and started to talk to Isabella so they walked away together, I wondered if they were together.
I was sitting in homeroom, thinking up a good excuse for why I was in the counselors office all day, then again it is the teachers fault, when the phone rang. After the teacher talked (and talked and talked) he hung up the phone, "Phineas? Mr. Bonesworth would like to see you." I sighed as I stood up, now what does that guy want? Walking down to his office, I was working on my yes and no answers. Once I walked into his office though, my yes and no thoughts went elsewhere, because sitting there was Ferb. At first I was mad, because what happened to teacher student confidentiality? Isn't he supposed to keep everything I say private? Then he started to talk and I realized that this was Ferb's doing, well I guess I should have known that he would figure out a way to talk to me.
When he finally left, I looked at Ferb questioningly deciding that he should start, since I don't know what specifically he wants. After a few minutes silence and he seemed to be having a war going on inside of him I said, "Ferb? Are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Listen Phineas, I want to know why your avoiding me and why you never talk to me even when we are together." That's all? He wants to know why I'm ignoring him? Didn't I say homework before? He is loosing it.
"I don't know what you mean, Ferb."
"Don't give me that Phineas! I know that there is something going on. Is, is it Vanessa? Do you not like her?" He sounded pretty desperate to know how I feel about her.
"Ferb, I think that Vanessa is great, she makes you happy. That's good, I like it when your happy." I could feel my face going red, so I looked down at my feet.
"Is it, I mean," he sighed, "Vanessa has a um theory. I think that it's ridiculous but, maybe it's right. I don't know." What kind of theory would she have? She is pretty smart. What if she figured out how I feel for her boyfriend?!
"What's her theory?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know anymore.
"Is it possible that you may, um be in love with me?" I tried to just shout out no, but then I started to think about what Isabella said, his face was going red. I could feel my eyes filling with tears because of the outburst I knew was about to come. "Phineas?" He sounded quiet, unsure.
"yes, I'm in love with you Ferb. I've been for a while now, I never told you because well one, you're my step brother and two your with Vanessa and three, I was afraid that you'd never talk to me again." After I told him, I started to get unsure of myself, he was so silent. I didn't know what to do, I was filled with the things that Isabella had told me as I said, "Ferb? I- I'm sorry! I didn't want to tell you. I wanted us to seem normal, brothers like we're supposed to be. But, I knew I had to tell you. It's selfish of me, but I don't like what ifs." Remembering what Isabella said, "if speech evades you, then use actions rather than words." So I lurched forward before he could say or do anything else, and then I put my lips on his. He responded to it! I was so shocked, but I started to put everything I had into that kiss, all my feelings as I pushed my tongue into his mouth, his tongue met mine half-way through his lips and he was putting a lot into that kiss as well, but then he pushed me away and ran from the room.
I was confused and feeling like the world made no sense. I left the room and went into the bathroom, tears falling from my eyes. I didn't return to class, I didn't do anything, but stay in a stall and crying my eyes out. I went home, and my mom wanted to know what was wrong, so I told her that I read ahead on a book we were reading for English and that it was sad. She believed me, and left me alone as I went up to my room. For an hour I was by myself in my room, when Ferb walked in. He saw me, walked over to his bed sat down, I stood up and tried to talk to him, but he walked out as soon as he looked at me! This was repeated a million times throughout the day.
At dinner, he didn't eat, he left early to go to bed. When I went up, a hour later he was asleep and calling out Vanessa's name. I couldn't sleep, so I got up walked over to my window and climbed out.
I walked around for what seemed like hours until I ended up at the park, starring at the tree with my poem on it. I remembered writing it after Isabella left yesterday,
I love him, but he loves her
I may be too late, but he doesn't know
Our days used to be filled with laughter
He's now with her, and I've never felt so low.
I may be too late, but he doesn't know
I don't tell him, because of fear
He's now with her, and I've never felt so low
If I tell him, will he still be here?
I don't tell him because of fear
I need him so much, but I know its wrong
If I tell him, will he still be here?
When I tell him he'll leave, it wont take long.
I need him so much, but I know its wrong
I don't want to see his look of disgust
When I tell him he'll leave, it wont take long
I love him a lot, but his reaction I don't trust.
I don't want to see his look of disgust
Our days used to be filled with laughter
I love him a lot, but his reaction I don't trust
I love him, but he loves her.
I then wrote my name at the bottom, but it was barely legible. I carved it in the tree with a rock. I didn't however, carve this other writing, what does it say?
I love him, but I love her
It's not too late, because I now know
Our days used to be filled with laughter
I'm with her, but why do I feel so low?
It's not too late, because I now know
He's told me now, but I'm filled with fear
I'm with her, but why do I feel so low?
Now that I know, why am I still here?
He's told me now, but I'm filled with fear
I need them so much, but I know its wrong
Now that I know, why am I still here?
Him or her, I don't know, it's taking too long.
I need them so much, but I know its wrong
What's wrong with me, why don't I care?
Him or her, I don't know, its taking too long
I love them both, I need them like air.
What's wrong with me. Why don't I care?
Our days used to be filled with laughter
I love them both, I need them like air
I love him, but I love her.
Written by Ferb.
WHAT?! He wrote a poem? Is this guy me? Does he seriously love me? But he loves Vanessa, she must be the her. It's not too late? Does that mean I still have a chance? He feels low, that does mean that I have a chance! Its so weird though, why won't he talk to me anymore then? It makes no sense!
"Why are you out here so late Phineas?" Vanessa asked, scaring me half to death.
"V-Vanessa?! You scared me! What are you doing?"
"I believe that I asked you that. As for me however, I am taking a walk in the park as I do a lot, I've never seen you here before though. Ah, I see you've found our Ferb's poem. Who do you think he'll choose?" Vanessa looked scary in the moonlight, but she had a soft smile on her face. She found the poem? What does she think of it? Our Ferb? Umm, isn't he hers? No matter how much I would like him to be mine, he's hers right now.
"Uh, I couldn't sleep. I decided to take a walk." I decided to ignore the other questions, hoping she won't bring them back up.
"But of course, our Ferb doesn't know both of his options thoroughly so he might just choose you to figure it out. Don't you agree?" Of course I don't have any luck. She sounds as if she could honestly care less, what does she mean 'figure' it out? I sighed, but stayed silent, not really caring how creepy she may seem right now.
"He doesn't know who he wants, but I do. He wants you, but he doesn't seem to understand that he can't have you when he's with me." she smiles and turns to go.
"Wait!" As she turns around I gulped. "Why don't you just break up with him if that's what he seems to want?"
"Because, I love him. I want him to be happy, just like you. But until he's done with me, I'm not going to leave him." she smiles, then turns around and walks toward her house. I watched her go, then turned back to the poem that Ferb wrote.
THE NEXT MORNING
There was no school, it was Saturday and I had stayed out all night just staring at the poem, reading it and rereading it. I didn't want to go home, because I'm wearing the exact same clothes that I wore yesterday so it may rouse suspicion. So I just stayed looking at the poem, memorizing every mistake and perfection that he had made while carving this. I wanted nothing more than to run back home and confront him about this poem, but I knew that he wouldn't talk to me so I stayed trying to find anything that would tell me what he was thinking besides that he was confused.
As kids started to show up, I began drifting towards the other side of town. No one seemed to notice me, so I was able to keep walking without anyone telling me what to do. After walking for a few more hours, a police car pulled over and took me home. My mom was in hysterics and my step dad was looking relieved. Ferb, however wasn't home. He obviously didn't care then, maybe I wasn't the he that was in the poem. Or maybe I am, Vanessa did say that I was. Well, he's not here so that proves that he doesn't care, and he's not talking to me. What does that make me to him? Maybe I should just die.
I went into the bathroom and locked the door, turned on the water, and walked over to the mirror where the razors are kept. I sighed, remembering my sonnet:
Looking down at his bleeding wrist, he laughs.
The red leaking from the wound is his life,
It is leaving him, because of the knife,
Admiring his wrist, he stabs his calf.
Leftover scars, reminding him to cry,
The world is mean, why can't it let him be,
The blood runs faster, why can you not see?
His vision is fuzzy, why can't he die?
The blade is sharp and cold against his skin,
It is resting now, but he can still feel,
The remembrance of the blood, it was real,
Hating life, but still knowing it's a sin.
Wishing to die, his living is a joke,
One last slash, it will work, slitting his throat.
I looked down at my smooth, pale skin on my wrist. I've never cut before, does it hurt? It might, but that could be easy enough to ignore because I know that it's a release. That's what everybody else says, so why can't it work for me? I watch closely as if it's a science experiment as I put the cold razor against my skin, and I pressed down as I ran it across my wrist. The blood screamed look at me against my white skin as I watched it ooze down and into the sink. I felt a slight sting as I ran it across my wrist again and again, the blood running faster and faster, as if it will never stop. I felt my vision start to go dizzy, and then a knock came at the door, "Phineas? Are you taking a shower?" It was his mother.
"Yeah, mom." I called out and put the razor down. I listened to her footsteps as she walked away. I rinsed off the razor, put it back where it was and started to rinse out the sink. I then stripped and stepped into the shower, as I watched my blood turn the water red and disappear down the drain, I could tell that this was going to turn into a habit.
FERB'S POV
I was searching for her. She was gone, but I can hear her! Her silver laugh is so musical, but it's sounds dull to me now. I called out her name so many times, but she never answered, all I heard was her laugh. Then, I saw a flash of red so I followed it and after a while, I was ready to turn back. The laugh was fainter now, but then the red stopped and it was, "Phineas."
I woke in a cold sweat, looking over at the bed across from mine, it was empty. Looking at the clock to be told it was 5:30 in the morning! Where was he? I sighed as I got up, I wasn't about to try and sleep again. As I was showering my mind was asking me if my dream was trying to tell me something. I mean, I couldn't find my girlfriend, but my step brother I could. Why would that be?
I got dressed, went down stairs and got some breakfast while listening to my step mother and father freaking out because Phineas wasn't home and hadn't been since last night. I finished my breakfast rather forcefully after that.
I had planned to go and visit Vanessa today, but instead I wanted to be alone so I made my way to the beach. As I walked along on the sand I started to think back through all the times I hung out with Phineas, and then I started to think about the times I spent with Vanessa. There was a lot more time with Phineas, but a lot more memorable times with Vanessa. All that me want to do is make more memorable time with Phineas, which made me frustrated! I love Vanessa!
Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa.
Vanessa. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas. Phineas.
AHH!!!!!!!!!!! I love Vanessa! Not Phineas! He's my brother!
He's your step-brother. There is no blood relation, it's not that wrong. A little voice inside his head said.
What the hell is that? Am I going insane?! Voices in my head, that means that I have to get therapy! Sigh, what are people going to think? Wait, no blood relation so it won't be wrong? What am I thinking?! I love Vanessa!
You loved Vanessa. Face it Ferb, you've fallen for you step-brother. He can read you better than most people can, and you practically know what he's thinking most of the time as well. Vanessa is you shining star in a dark night, but Phineas is the cookies to your tea (you get it? A British joke. Ha ha ha. Never mind).
I cannot believe that I'm going insane! This is the fault of them, I love them both I don't want to choose, but if this voice is right, then I will eventually pick Phineas. What will happen to Vanessa if I pick Phineas? Will she be hurt? Will she hate me? I do love her, I want to be with her, I……..
No, you love her like a sister now! You want to protect her but your in love with your step-brother! Ha ha ha ha!!!!
A laughing voice in my head, that's mental institution level! Great, a smart voice in my head that knows me more than I do! This is getting on my nerves, what should I do?
"Hey Ferb. What are you doing down here?" Vanessa said as she walked up to me wearing a black swimsuit.
As I looked at her, the usual light feeling that I get telling me that everything is right in the world wasn't there! I can't believe this! "Hey Vanessa. I just wanted to take a walk. What are you doing here?"
"My father brought me here, taking a day off from evil I guess." She looked over at a short, thin guy in a white lab coat that looked like he was loosing a war with an umbrella. I can't believe this, her voice that used to actually sound like angels singing to me now sounds like every other girls voice, maybe I do love her like a sister. "Oh, hey if your wondering where your brother is, the police brought him home like, an hour ago." That got my attention.
"Oh? So he is safe then? That's good. I was kind of worried about him." I was looking down at my feet now, I can't believe that she doesn't appeal to me anymore, so much for us forever.
A long breath escaped her lips as she looked down at the ground looking like she was having an internal conflict with herself, then she looked up at me and said in a very even voice, "Go to him Ferb. I know that your in love with him, I also know that he's in love with you. You don't love me in the way that you used to, your feelings have been changing, if they haven't already, I mean Ferb look me directly I the eyes and tell me that you love me the way that you have for a while, otherwise go to Phineas.
I sighed as I looked at her, she looked exactly like she always did and yet, so much different. I opened my mouth, "I- I-" sigh, "I don't love you. I want us to be friends now, I am in love with Phineas. I can't believe it, but he is the one that I want. I'm sorry." I looked down at the ground, all I wanted to do now is go home to see Phineas but I wanted to know how she feels about this.
She had a small smile on her face as she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine, after a few seconds she pulled back, "anything?"
I was confused for all of about ten seconds until it sunk in, "No, I'm sorry Vanessa. I didn't feel anything."
She laughed, then walked away calling over her shoulder, "Friends then, I'll see you later Ferb." I was shocked at how easy that was, but I wasn't about to stand here pondering this, I have to go find Phineas!
I'll end it here, I'd like to thank you all that have read this so far. Really you haven't been following it because I put it all up together. But the next chapter is the last. Please tell me truthfully what you think of my story!
