A.N I can't believe how many views I have had already, I am enjoying writing this so hopefully chapters will keep coming, don't worry this is an Emison story we are just building up to it please keep leaving reviews.

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The girls spent the rest of the night talking, laughing, and crying. Thinking back with fondness and twinges of sadness on the past, recalling the not so distant memory of A but when the girls looked in each other's eyes they knew that without A, Cece or charlotte whatever she was calling herself, they would not be here, not this location per say but with each other. No doubt about it their friendship grew more intense and important than most people ever do because of "A" and they were so glad of it, the girls were more like sisters than best friends and knew that no matter what life throws at them they will always have each other. As darkness started to fall Emily could not stop looking at the door, she had expected Alison to be here by now. Mentally she was not really in the conversation with the others rather preparing what she was going to do, say, feel. "I..." Emily interrupted the conversation and the three girls looked at her waiting to finish. "Im just going to go the bathroom" Emily said quickly as she stood up and left the room. What she really wanted to ask was why Ali wasn't there yet but she couldn't bring herself to say it because that led to more questions about the girl that she wasn't sure she wanted answers to.

Hanna starts "okay im just going to say it, Emily's on another planet, she's said two words all night and is continually looking at the door, if she ponders on her thoughts of Alison any longer her head is going to explode". "Hanna you're forgetting that the girl who she has been in love with forever is due to walk through the door any minuet and she hasn't seen her for two years" Spencer adds. "No Spencer I hadn't forgot that at all, it was my idea to invite Alison in the first place in case you forgot?! All im saying is she hasn't seen me for two years either and I didn't even get half that emotion from her, if only it was my pants she wanted to get into" Hanna giggled. Aria just rolled her eyes at the girls and stood up to look at the window as she was sure she saw a car light. "erm girls if you want to stop whatever shit you're talking about over there and come here, Ali has just pulled up. "Ooh great maybe she'll show me some enthusiasm" Hanna shouted as she ran off to the door, spencer and aria following behind rolling their eyes. "Do my eyes deceive me or is the Alison DiLaurentis actually wearing sweats!" "Shut up Han, what do you want me to do drive 6 hours in Valentino? I think not now stop inspecting me and let me in the bloody house, actually I'll rephrase that, OUR bloody house" eeek the girls squeal and helped Ali with her bags, which by the way there were millions, of course nothing less was to be expect of Alison. Once inside Hanna gave the tour, spencer shouting over every now and then her rules "We get it Spencer organised, rule permitting fun, we can't wait" Alison giggled as Hannah said under her breath "like she thinks rules are going to work with 5 girls, 2 who wanna bone each other and the rest of us who just wanna have sick parties and remember, no job, no school, no responsibilities. IT'S GUNA BE SICK BITCHES" Hanna decided to scream the last part and the other girls cheered with excitement which didn't give Alison a chance to ask about the 2 girls boning comment. Mental note that one for later Alison thought and she followed everyone into the living room.

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Emily splashed water on her face as she looked at the reflection staring back at her in the mirror, she didn't quite recognise herself, as she stood there she thought how sad and fragile she looked. Like almost broken. "Pull yourself together Em" she said to herself as she turned and left the bathroom. However as she got to the door she stood dead in her tracks as making its way up the stairs was the sound of her voice, her laugh and in that moment she felt a million different emotions that she didn't even think was possible. Her stomach was doing backflips, she felt sick and excited and didn't know what to do, her chest felt like it was collapsing on its self and she was struggling to breathe, the walls were caving in on her and she was sure her heart was beating at a hundred beats a minute, Emily had started experiencing panic attacks about a year ago and hadn't told anyone about it as she felt so weak and ashamed, her depression was much more serious than she ever liked to even admit herself and she didn't want to burden anyone with the worry plus she thought if she even began to explain how she was feeling anyone would think she was insane and she didn't want her friends to think of her differently. Her eyes started to well up and she shuck her thoughts far from her mind but how could she face Ali, how could she walk down those stairs and look her in the eye and pretend that she's happy. Without a second thought Emily grabbed her phone out of her pocket.

To Becca:

Hey fancy going out tonight, I need to blow off some steam ;)

From Becca:

Sure thing hot stuff ;) im out and about meet you at modo in 15 x

Emily knew where the night was heading, Becca was one of her random hook-ups and she was always up for a good time but she would deal with the consequences in the morning. She ran into her room rooted for a dress in her still packed bags, threw it on and left. Once down the stairs she passed the living room and saw the blonde she was trying to avoid had her back to the door and Emily thanked her lucky stars that she wouldn't have to deal with eye contact until the morning.

"Em what are you doing", shouted Aria as she got up to see Emily. "Hot date, can't stop don't wait up, bye" Emily shouted as she grabbed her keys and headed out

the door.

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"Emily's gone out, hot date apparently, she didn't say anything about that earlier" Aria said sadness evident in her voice as she knew the real reason her friend had left so quickly, all stemming from the hurt she had felt about Alison. The girls knew that Emily was having a hard time over the last few years and thought that they could fix it even though they were now all back together Emily wasn't really with them, she was somewhere else completely.

Alison swore that she felt her heart smash into a million little pieces when she heard Emily mention her hot date. Of course what was Alison expecting it had been two years since they had last seen each other, did she really think that Emily would be still pining over her, she expected Emily had started a relationship by now but didn't realise how much it would hurt to hear it with her own ears. Alison thought she didn't really have a right to be hurt, after all it was her who pushed Emily away, being too stupid and too scared to admit that she loved Emily in so many more ways than being best friends. During their last summer together her and Emily had shared a few kisses and lots of cuddles but she had never actually said the words that Emily wanted and needed to hear but the kisses weren't what scared her, what scared her the most was something much more deep, it was their connection, how she felt that with Emily she could conquer the world and without her she might just die, she has never felt that way about anyone and it scared her to death how one person could hold her heart with the ability to kill it whenever they wanted. "Earth to Alison". "uh sorry, what did you say Han?" "Jeez what does it take for people to give me attention around here, I said what the hell are we going to do with Emily, clearly she's much more broken that we thought" Alison just remained silent, broken? was it really her fault Emily was like this, of course all of the girls had been through a lot and Emily leading up to the reveal of Charlotte had been the strongest, she was the rock for all of her friends when they seemed to be falling apart but now, what had happened to her? 'If only I had told her, if only I contacted her, maybe she would be okay or maybe she wouldn't but I will never know'.