Uneven Odds

Chapter the Third

As your guardian, I was instructed well
To make sense of god's love in these fires of hell.

Stiles doesn't say anything on the ride to Harvey's apartment, and to be completely honest with himself, Mike isn't very sure he'd have encouraged any kind of conversation in case the teen did try to talk.

Thing is all of what Harvey told him a few minutes before isn't true.

He isn't good at caring – he is actually really, really bad at it. He always makes a mess of things, and he is always trying to help in the wrong way. Plus, he kind of is an awful person. He knows that. It's just… the past few months, working with Harvey, everything had been amazing, and for the first time in his life, Mike actually saw that he could have a future, something good to come to him, but it hadn't always been like that.

Not even a year ago his days were spent on a dead end job, and his nights smoking weed and getting drunk with Victor. He was smarter than his ex-best friend, yes, and he was a better person than him, but that didn't turn him into someone good, not by a long shot.

And yet, Harvey thought he wasn't the right person to deal with Stiles. He thought Mike was.

And the saddest part is that he doesn't want to let Harvey down again. He wants to help. Things haven't been easy for him at the firm, and Jessica seems to take a certain pleasure in showing him just how short a leash he's in, and Mike isn't helping anything with his existing there, but he can't just… leave. Not least of all because leaving would actually leave Harvey open to even more attacks, but also because he doesn't want to give up.

He wants to do the right thing by Harvey and help him, no bad consequences to deal with later. Just help him. Just this once, with nothing going wrong on the side.

Just once.

They get to Harvey's place a few minutes later, and Stiles is quiet and looks dead on his feet. Mike had been there before, sure, but he'd never actually come in, looked around or anything. They get in with the key Donna slipped him when they were leaving the firm, and Mike sees a small note on a table, saying Stiles's room is ready.

Pretending he actually knows where he's going, he takes the kid further in the apartment, and shows him his new room. Stiles doesn't thank him, he doesn't even talk. He looks around the room, impersonal, cold and strangely gray, and snorts quietly, closing the door behind him.

Mike hopes he'll sleep some, because he sure needs it.

Something else he needs is food.

The man goes into the kitchen, for some reason expecting to find it completely empty, but when he opens the doors to the cupboards he finds a strange mix between extremely healthy food – boxes of high fiber levels cereal boxes and healthy snacks – and food that would make a five year old extremely happy.

The things that are obviously unhealthy and sugary, (like pop tarts. Mike can't even imagine Harvey eating pop tarts) are new and recently bought.

For Stiles.

Mike shakes his head a bit and looks around some more, curious as to where Harvey actually lives, but he can't find much. He doesn't go snooping in his room or anything, but the rest of the place is… impersonal, just like Stiles's room. It's got less personality than Harvey's office, for instance, because there you could catch a glimpse of what Harvey loves and likes, the basketballs, the vinyls, the books, but the apartment is classy, sure, and amazingly decorated, true, and yet, it's… empty.

Mike frowns when he sits down, bored almost out of his mind. He is almost tempted to go out while Stiles sleeps, or leave him a note and go back to the office, but going off-script with what Harvey asks him to do is what turned their relationship into the mess it's in right now, so he's going to give the whole doing what you're told thing a try.

The apartment is absolutely silent, and he takes out his phone, playing a bit, reading e-mails, diving into Wikipedia and reading link after link after link, just so he can have something to do.

He really hopes Stiles is sleeping.

At about one he gets out of the couch (and the damn thing is way too comfortable) and makes some sandwiches, putting them on the table, along with some juice he found in the fridge. He would have gone with coffee, but he's not sure it won't interfere with Stiles's medication.

He goes to Stiles's room and knocks politely on the door, opening it before the boy answers.

Stiles isn't sleeping. He's stretched out on the bed, on top of the covers, with the same clothes still on, staring at the ceiling, and blinking slowly.

"Hey" Mike greets, and the teen sighs in answer, "I have lunch ready. I think you should eat something, because of your meds" he says, and Stiles nods briefly, sitting up in stiff moves, getting up and passing by Mike obviously in pain.

"You okay?" Mike asks, "I mean, it's a stupid question, but, physically? Are you taking your medicine, do you have enough, should we get some more?"

Stiles shakes his head a bit, wincing as a result.

"It's all good, Melissa made sure I had enough to last me until I actually have to take it" he answers, sitting by the island in the kitchen, and looking around a bit.

Mike can swear Stiles is thinking the same thing he had been earlier – too impersonal.

"Melissa is the nurse, right?" Mike inquires, more to have something to say than anything else.

"Yeah. She's my best friend's mom."

Well, that explains it, it's not all nurses in that town who treat people like they are old friends.

"She looks nice."

"She's really great. She raises Scott all by herself, ever since his dad left. It's just the two of them, like me and…" he stops suddenly, looking down at the sandwich he hasn't yet taken a bite out of, swallowing hard, blinking fast, "I guess it's not like us anymore now."

The last part is barely a whisper, and Mike wants to hug this kid.

He can't, he knows that, because he doesn't know if Stiles would even allow it, and mostly because it's not his place.

Or maybe it is. Harvey did trust him with this, didn't he?

"I know it's empty right now, and that you're too raw, your pain is too fresh, and it doesn't get better, but it gets easier."

Stiles snorts, and stares at Mike with a skeptical look on his face.

"No, it doesn't" he answers, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Mike shakes his head a bit.

"It does. It gets easier to live with it, even if it'll never go completely away, you move on."

"No, you don't" the kid answers again, a strange smile on his lips, "My mom died five years ago. My dad never stopped mourning her. I never stopped mourning her. Every Mother's Day, every birthday, every meeting at school, every Lacrosse game, every party I didn't get invited to, every time the girl I liked that snubbed me, every time I wanted a hug and my dad was at work – she was always present. Always with me. Haunting me, in a way, haunting my dad. And I know it'll sound awful, but I could do it, I could live with it, because my dad needed me. I was there for him when she wasn't. And now he doesn't need me anymore, because he's gone."

Mike stares at Stiles for a long moment, and he wants to say so many things – starting with how he said his dad needed him, that he was there for his dad, but not the opposite, but he can't. The kid needs time.

So he follows up with something that maybe will help all of them a bit.

"You still have family, though" Mike says, and Stiles raises an eyebrow at him.

"Blood doesn't equal family."

"You could try with Harvey, though" Mike starts, and Stiles looks at him with such a disbelieving look that for a second Mike thinks Stiles actually knows Harvey, "Look, he's a great guy once you get to know him. He's your brother. Why not give it a chance? You're here already, and it beats anything else you have now. I know this sounds cold, but Harvey cares, even if he's not open about it. You're here, and you could not be. You could be in the foster system, in the care of some stranger, or alone. But you're here, with Harvey. Just give it a chance" he says, trying to be persuasive, but Stiles sighs loudly, and he looks a bit angry.

"I'm not sure I can" he says, as if he's just figuring this out himself, and Mike stares at him, confused.

"Why not?"

Let it not be because he doesn't want to try.

"Because he hated my mom" Mike startles a bit for two reasons: one, he wasn't expecting this as an answer, and two, he sure wasn't expecting the anger in the kid's voice "She had cancer" Stiles starts, and Mike almost asks him to stop, because he knows the bits and pieces Harvey has told him, but until Stiles said anything, he wasn't even sure their mom was dead, "I was eleven and my dad had to work. I was home all the time while she was sick, and I know how many times she called him, and tried to talk to him, and he never once answered. She died asking to see him. She never got to see my other brother when he got sick. Harvey didn't go to her funeral, to her burial, nothing. I've never even seen him" he stares at Mike, as if willing him to understand, "My dad, he…" his voice sounds as if it's locked in his throat, but Mike waits it out. Watches him take a sip of his juice, close his eyes, take in a deep breath, "My dad worked like mad after she died. He was elected Sheriff, and he thought half his votes were for pity for losing his wife and having a son like me, and so he worked twice as hard. He was everything to me, and… And now he's dead. I can't get him back, I can't see him again, and the house is there, just like it was before, and I keep thinking it's just as if he'll come back, and I feel like there's no home anymore. Anywhere." his big, golden eyes are full of tears, and Mike feels his heart break a little.

Mike nods, his own eyes burning, because he knows. God, he knows. He remembers losing his parents, his grandma, losing everyone, and just wanting to be where they used to be, because maybe it had all been a mistake, and they'd come back. Maybe they'd return, and if only he didn't change, then maybe everyone could pick things up from where they left them before.

He gets it. He knows it doesn't work, and that the pain never really goes away, and that staying doesn't help any, but he gets it.

"I know it's irrational" Stiles continues, "I know it's not really possible, and I know Harvey is trying to do something good for me here. I know that. I don't even think I'd have been able to stay in Beacon Hills, even if he emancipated me or something, because things there are… well, bad. You saw it. But even if I'm grateful, it doesn't stop me from thinking that here is not home, and that it'll never be."

He gestures with his cast a bit, and Mike can see his point a bit.

They'll have to work for it, sure, but it's doable.

He has to believe it is.

"When you say things are bad, did you mean the guy that went looking for you? Tall, dark and broody?"

A small smile passes through Stiles's lips before it's completely gone.

"That would be one way of describing Derek, I guess" he mutters, before nodding, "Yeah, him and the rest of them, my friends. And the people who actually killed my dad. They escaped, they are still out there, my friends wouldn't let me stay in town with those… monsters still on the loose."

Mike wants to ask what Stiles's friends could do about it. Why would he think they actually have any power to stop him from staying if he wants to, but he guesses this is not what he's trying to achieve here.

Plus, convincing Stiles he can go back is counterproductive since what he wants is for him and Harvey to become the brothers they are supposed to be.

"So that guy is your friend?" he continues, and Stiles looks at him, really looks at him, as if he doesn't want to miss a single expression.

"Ex-boyfriend."

By the way the kid looks awfully smug for someone still bruised and with an arm in a cast, Mike understands he wasn't able to hide how surprised that made him feel.

"That's illegal" it's his comment, and that actually startles a laugh out of Stiles.

"I guess it is. We talked about it once, though."

"Once?" Mike asks, and Stiles smiles again.

"Yeah. We got distracted."

And the smugness is back. Maybe under the depression and the sadness, Stiles is a bright kid, Mike thinks, ready to laugh, and taking a laugh out of his past relationship.

"Is that why you broke up?" he asks, and every single sign of positivity vanishes from Stiles's face.

"No."

And that's the end of the conversation.

No matter how much Mike prodded and tried to get the kid to talk again, he answers in monosyllables and nothing else.

They settle for the afternoon in front of the TV, and Mike lets Stiles have the control of the remote. He flips through the channels, watching a bit of everything, except the cop shows. He practically runs away from them, and Mike remembers his dad was a Sheriff.

Night falls, they eat some Mac and Cheese from a box, and both of them start to get anxious with the perspective of Harvey coming home.

As soon as the man comes in, Mike gets up, gets his things, nods goodbye and leaves.

It's not that he doesn't want to stay and talk. It's not even that he doesn't like Stiles, but he feels as if he got to know a bit of Stiles, and Harvey can't learn Stiles through him. He has to do it by himself.

This time, the best he can do to help is actually go away.

So he does.

X

Let it be said that Harvey's experience with teenagers is even smaller than his one with small kids, and he interacted with children a total of five times after he was a child himself.

And three of those times had something to do with his cases.

He is a bit nervous about going home, and what he'll find there. He hadn't meant to say all he had said to Mike before his associate left, and even though he's still angry and betrayed, he gets what Mike did, why he did it. Not many can go against Jessica Pearson and win, and Mike had done it before. It's surreal of Harvey to expect Mike to do it again, when he himself couldn't do it.

But this is not the problem now. The problem is what to do with his teen brother, who's just survived an attack that killed his dad while he watched it.

He's worried about this part. Awfully worried, because he can't even imagine what Stiles must be going through.

Maybe he'll need therapy. That should help some, right?

Or maybe not. If he's anything like Harvey he'd rather die than tell anyone what's really bothering him, and won't that be a whole new set of problems?

He takes a deep breath and opens the door to his own home feeling as if he's entering enemy territory.

As soon as Mike sees him, he's up and out the door before Harvey can even manage to ask him anything – is his brother so annoying the younger man can't bear to be near him for any longer than he has to, or is this some sort of attempt to make them bond?

Either way, now he's home alone with his younger brother.

"Hey" he says, leaving his suitcase on the table, and coming into the living room. The kid is watching TV and turns to look at him – he looks nervous and afraid, and Harvey doesn't even know what to do with that. He's no good at comforting people. He can fight their battles for them, but he doesn't know how to do the whole you'll be fine thing.

"Hi" the kid answers, staring at him expectantly.

Harvey can't think of anything else to say, and his brother keeps staring at him.

He already sucks at being a big brother and he's been at it for twenty seconds.

"Everything okay with Mike today?" he ends up asking, because Mike is safe territory, and something they have in common now.

"Yeah. He even gave me food and everything."

"That's good."

Silence again.

He sits down by the kid on the couch, staring at the TV – what the hell is the kid even watching? Before he can ask, the kid's phone starts ringing. He stares at it for a moment, then turns to Harvey.

"Do you mind if I answer it here? I really don't want to get up."

"Go ahead" Harvey answers, and then has a small internal debate. Should he leave so his brother can have his privacy? Or is it okay if he stays? Why did the kid even ask? Did his dad have any kind of rules set against phones?

While he's busy having his internal debate, the teen is already talking, so Harvey decides to just stay where he is.

"I got here okay, Lydia, don't worry" he says, and Harvey starts to pay attention. Who's Lydia? A girlfriend? Friend? "I don't really want to know if you talked to him or not. Honestly, I don't think I can even… Okay, you go ahead and do that, but I don't want to know" another pause, "Tell Scott I'm fine too, okay? Yeah, you too. Bye" he hangs up and sighs, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch.

"Your friend checking up on you?" Harvey says, and immediately regrets it, because it feels as if he's snooping. He's good at this. By God, he's a freaking Lawyer, the best one in this whole city, and here he is, with a line like that to pick up information. What is wrong with him?

"If that's your line to fish for information, I have no idea how you can afford this place as a Lawyer" his brother says. Harvey turns to glare at him, but the kid is smiling a bit, so he lets it go, "That was a friend, yeah. She's worried, I forgot to call when I got here."

"I'm sorry you had to leave them behind" Harvey says, because it's easier than saying I'm sorry your father is dead, and that your mom is dad too. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but that woman was awful, and I couldn't stand to see another one of us get hurt. I'm sorry I was wrong.

"Not your fault" he answers, and then there's silence.

Harvey doesn't try to break it, and neither does Stiles.

They watch TV, eventually Harvey gets some food, and Stiles takes his pain meds, drifting off to sleep on the couch.

Before going to bed, Harvey sets him in a more comfortable position and puts a blanket over the kid.

It's awkward, and stiff, and they have a lot of ground to cover before they even start to get close to being comfortable around each other, but Harvey thinks it feels more real than if they immediately started getting along.

He knows that if you have to work for it, it feels a million times better once you get it.