Trowa Barton was a quiet person by nature. Always had been. It was a good way to learn things, and a better way than words to convince a fool that Trowa could be trusted. Silence was a mask for Trowa, a comfortable disguise that he'd worn for many years.
So why was it so uncomfortable today?
Trowa risked another glance at his passenger, who still sullenly refused to acknowledge him, and had his answer. It wasn't his own silence that was the problem. It was hers.
"Is everything all right, Faith?" he asked. But of course it wasn't—not with all she'd been through in the last couple of weeks—so he amended by adding, "How's Torstin settling in?"
She softened a little when he mentioned the dog's name, and peered into his crate to check on her new companion. It had been kind of Relena to surprise Faith with her guard dog. Trowa knew firsthand how therapeutic an animal could be, and if anyone needed a calm, non-judgmental friend right now, it was Faith. Trowa raised an eyebrow at her when she turned back in her seat without answering his question and she huffed softly, annoyed.
"He's fine," she said.
That was it. Monosyllables today, when she used to chatter so much that he sometimes had to put some serious effort into not tuning her out. She'd barely said hello when they boarded the shuttle, and Trowa couldn't fathom what he'd done to upset her.
It bothered him, and he couldn't quite put his finger on why.
"How have you been?" he asked lamely, trying to goad her into talking to him. "I haven't seen you since—"
Since the night Heero left, when she'd cried herself to sleep in the back seat of his car. Maybe this wasn't the best way to start a conversation after all. Reminding her of that night was probably a bad idea. Trowa spared a look her way, spotted her pinched lips and narrowed eyes, and realized he was right.
This was another reason silence suited him so well—he never knew what to say to some people, especially women. It was a wonder Cathy put up with him as well as she did. He'd realized long ago that marriage was probably beyond him, but it hadn't bothered him much until he'd started spending so much time around Duo and Hilde. It would be nice to have what they had.
But it was too late. He was too old to start thinking about settling down at this point, and the one person who might have been a compatible partner—Well. It was too late. That was all there was to it, and there wasn't any point in dwelling on it now. Especially when he was supposed to be working.
"Sorry," he murmured, forcing himself to take the reins of conversation again and hoping he still had a chance to smooth over his previous transgression. "That didn't come out right."
"I think I know what you meant," Faith replied, her voice as cold and distant as Heero's could be. "I'm not in a good place right now, Trowa. I'd rather not discuss it."
"Of course," Trowa said. "How's Relena holding up?"
Faith shot him an incredulous look. "Mom?" she asked, sounding a little more like herself. "Mom's nuts. She acts like everything's okay—she spends a lot of time trying to fix things at work, and she's got herself convinced that Dad's absolutely, positively coming back—but I think deep down she knows something's wrong."
"Oh?" Trowa prompted, trying to keep her talking. This hard, stony silence just wasn't Faith. It worried him.
"Yeah," Faith continued." Mom's been, like, binging on junk food—she ate a whole pizza by herself the other night—and then she gets sick after she eats. Certain things really upset her—like this one commercial they keep playing on the radio—and she'll just randomly start crying. I think it's anxiety. Or bulimia. It's—kind of scary, Trowa."
It sounded scary to Trowa, too. No wonder Faith was upset, with one parent missing and the other struggling to cope.
"Now I understand why you've been pushing everyone so hard to let you go back to Duo," Trowa said softly. "Is Miss Noin still watching out for Relena? I know she and her little boy stayed with you guys after Heero—left."
"Aunt Lucy and Gio are going back to their apartment tonight," Faith replied. "Mom said she wanted some time alone. To think. I feel like Dad would have wanted me to stay and take care of her, but I can't fix Mom. She needs go to a doctor and get checked out, but she keeps saying she doesn't have time. Maybe she'll make time now that she doesn't have to feel like she has to rush home to me every day."
Trowa wondered if it was normal for a teenager to feel like she needed to be responsible for her mother. It must be, he decided. Duo's kids picked up the slack when Hilde started her cancer treatments. I always thought that it was a parent's responsibility to care for their children, but I guess it can go both ways if the kids are mature enough.
The silence resumed, but it felt a little less strained this time around. Faith relaxed visibly; she stopped deliberately avoiding eye contact and some of the tension left her shoulders. Torstin noticed the change, too; he stopped his nervous panting and was quiet in his crate.
"Trowa," Faith murmured, her low voice hardly audible over the fans, "If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth? Not just pat me on the head and say something comforting because you think I'm too young to understand?"
"You know I will, Fay," he replied. "I can't give you classified information, but I won't hold anything else back."
She hesitated, and Trowa imagined that she was trying to figure out if she really wanted to know the answer to her question. He had a general idea of what she wanted to ask—it would be something about Heero, or about Preventer's outright refusal to track him down—but he waited patiently for her to decide.
"How well do you know my dad?"
"About as well as anyone, I guess," Trowa said slowly. "We traveled together for a while during the war, looked out for each other. We sort of lost touch after I went back to the circus and only started doing Preventer part-time, though."
Faith nodded, her expression thoughtful as she measured his words, trying—he thought—to decide what to do with that bit of information.
"You were there the night he—left," she said, stammering over the last bit. "Do you think he's coming back? If you say it, I'll believe it. I'll go back to Mom and wait like everyone says I should."
It would save everyone a lot of time and grief if Trowa told her that Heero was coming back. Faith honestly had no idea how much Preventer had put into assuring the colony's safety so she could resume her old life there, and Trowa wasn't sure the public would be pleased if that information ever saw the light of day.
But he'd promised her the truth.
"Heero isn't coming back," he said. "If he thinks that he can save your life by sacrificing his own, he'll do it."
It didn't seem appropriate to elaborate, to tell her about the time he and Cathy took Heero in after he self-destructed. Or the pilgrimage they'd taken afterward, tracking down Heero's victims' families so he could offer his life to them. No, Faith didn't need to hear about any of that.
But, more than the truth, Trowa wasn't sure what she did need to hear.
"I don't understand," she mumbled, probably to herself. "Why would he just throw his life away like that?"
At least Trowa could answer that one.
"Some things are bigger than one person's life," Trowa replied. "Everyone has a different idea of what that thing is, whether it's a dream or an ideal or even a simple object, but over the course of a person's life, we all encounter something that we value above all else."
Faith sniffled softly, but Trowa couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was just her sinuses. Zero-G gave everyone a head cold.
"For Heero, that was you," he finished. At one point, it might have been the fate of outer space, or the Earth, or even Relena Darlian, but now it was Faith. "That's all."
"That's all?" Faith asked. "Trowa, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. It's like you're saying everybody's suicidal, and no way am I going to believe that. You've been spending too much time around all these crazy Preventers."
Trowa shook his head. "I think maybe you're just too young to understand," he said. "But if you look hard enough, there are examples throughout history. Just look at the Red Fang, at how many of their operatives died to get to you. I get it. If it had been me there instead of Heero that night—I would have done the same thing."
Faith jerked away sharply. "What!" she demanded. "Trowa, that's horrible! You can't do that. Promise me you'll never do anything like that!"
"You wanted the truth, Faith," Trowa replied evenly. "I can't lie to you. And I won't make promises I can't keep."
She was definitely crying after that; Trowa switched on the vent that would draw the moisture out of the air before it could damage any of the shuttle's more delicate sensors. He reached for Faith's hand, hoping to erase some of the damage he'd done, and she slapped him away.
"Leave me alone," she cried. "I can't stand it, so just—just stay away from me!"
"Faith—"
"No!"
And after that, the silence was so thick that Trowa didn't try to break it again. Duo would know how he could get back into Faith's good graces and, since Trowa had to deliver a package from Relena anyway, he had a reason to visit. But until then, he decided to let Faith have her space. He sighed softly to himself. He'd never understand women.
Faith spotted Chris waiting alone on the other side of the security checkpoint and cursed her bad luck. Apparently it wasn't enough that Trowa had gone all weird on her. No, now she had to deal with Chris, too. Great.
Homesick or no, Chris was the very last person she wanted to see right now. If it hadn't been for him and his big mouth, thinking with his balls instead of his brains, Faith's life would still be normal. Or at least as close to normal as it had ever been.
"I don't even want to look at you right now, Chris," Faith said as she walked through the checkpoint and out into the spaceport's public area. "Do you have any idea what kind of hell you've put me through? All because you wanted to impress some girl?"
At least he had the decency to look ashamed.
"I don't have anything to say to you," she muttered when he didn't answer. "Where's Duo? I want to get out of here. I need to talk to Dak."
Chris hesitated. Faith crossed her arms over her chest and glowered, waiting for him to formulate an answer. He wasn't as stupid as he looked—not by half. Sometimes he just had trouble finding words.
"Dad didn't come," Chris said slowly, annunciating more carefully than usual. "He let me out of work-study for the afternoon and said I should meet you."
"Dammit," Faith complained. "I don't have time for this, Chris."
At her side, Torstin growled low in his throat. Chris didn't even look at the dog; he was focused on Faith. She twitched Torstin's leash, a silent command for him to settle down, and stared back at her brother. He looked—different somehow. He was pasty pale and there were dark circles under his eyes, as if he'd lost a lot of sleep lately.
"Just listen to me for a minute," he insisted. "Please?"
Faith frowned. Chris hadn't been this cautious around anyone in a long time; he spent too much time trying to be tough to put any effort into polishing his manners. What had changed?
The last time Chris and I were together, I got into a strange car and let a strange man take me away, and he didn't do anything to prevent it, she remembered. And a few days later, we all found out it was because of something he said to a girl. She sighed. That had been traumatic, but Faith wasn't the only one who'd been through hell. It was time to give Chris a break, even if it meant putting her plans off for a little while longer.
"Let it go, Chris," she said. "I wouldn't have time to sleep if I put my energy into being mad at all of the people who have screwed with me lately. Just—forget it. Shit happens. Water under the bridge. Et cetera."
She stiffened with surprise when he pulled her into a hug; as a general rule, Chris avoided physical affection almost as notoriously as she did. She wasn't sure she liked seeing this softer side of her brother. Torstin definitely didn't like it but, to Faith's relief, he didn't try to bite.
"How is it that you're always the bigger person, Fay?" Chris asked. Faith snorted; she knew what he meant, but it didn't stop the mental image from forming. He had a good forty pounds on her and she was the bigger person? Ha.
"I'm just older and wiser, that's all," she replied loftily, flipping her hair and striking a goofy pose so he'd crack that crooked smile. "I've got a whole six hours on you, bro."
"I'll tell Dad to have them put your name first on the birthday cake this year," Chris said seriously. "Not that you ever eat any of it."
He clapped Faith on the shoulder then, and Torstin let out such a guttural snarl that Faith couldn't help jumping away. Chris glanced down, noticed Torstin—and his bared fangs—for the first time, and jerked back as well. Torstin settled back down, satisfied that he'd done his job; he wouldn't pursue a target unless Faith gave the command. Faith pursed her lips. Chris should have noticed him growling, she thought. Even in this noisy place.
"You can't hear Torstin at all, can you?" she asked, deliberately lowering her voice. Chris scowled and she had her answer. She grabbed his sleeve and dragged him into an empty café, where the ambient noise was much less than the rest of the spaceport."What the hell is going on, Chris? My dog's growling like he's about to take your leg off and you didn't even notice."
"Hey!" The man behind the counter snapped when he realized they were in his café. "Get that animal out of here!"
Faith shot the guy a dirty look and presented Torstin's papers. "The dog goes where I go," she told him. "If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with my attorney."
He didn't need to know that it was really her mom's attorney; the message was clearer when she spelled it out this way. The man glanced over the papers and slowly handed them back to Faith.
"You kids better not make a mess," he grumbled. Faith rolled her eyes. She led Chris over to the booth in the back, where they'd at least have a little privacy, and sat on the side facing the rest of the café so she could see if anyone followed them inside. The coast was clear so far. Torstin stretched himself out beside her; he looked calm, but his ears were alert and Faith knew he'd warn her if he thought she was in danger.
But since Chris's hearing aids were on the fritz, and since it would keep them safe from eavesdroppers, Faith decided to switch to sign language, too.
/Spill it, Chris/ Faith signed once they were settled. /What's going on?/
Duo took it as a bad sign when Trowa Barton showed up on his doorstep alone and looking lost. Well, not the lost part—Trowa always seemed a little lost to Duo.
But alone. That was bad. Trowa didn't look stressed about it, though, so Duo wasn't going to worry just yet.
"Where's Faith? I sent Chris to meet you guys," he said casually as he led the way into the house. It was empty this time of day, with the kids in school and Hilde back in the hospital, and it was nice to have a chance to talk business without worrying over what little ears might pick up. "Is everything okay?"
"I left Faith with Chris, in the coffee shop at the spaceport," Trowa said. "Preventer has the whole colony under surveillance; if anyone does anything suspicious, we'll be able to step in before a situation escalates. They should be safe."
That wasn't really an answer, Duo thought, wondering what was up with his old comrade. Trowa always had been a tricky one to pin down—he was almost as bad as Heero when it came to answering questions—but this was evasive even for him.
Duo led Trowa into the kitchen. It smelled like fresh coffee mixed with underlying traces of the burnt remains of last night's dinner. At least with Faith back, there'd be someone in the house who knew how to cook, Duo mused. He got down a pair of mugs and passed one to Trowa.
"Help yourself," he said, filling his own mug and plopping down at the kitchen table. "Seriously, Trowa, what's going on? Nobody tells me the same story twice. All I know is Heero's off on some mission and Faith got homesick or something."
Trowa was quiet for a minute as he slowly pulled his chair out and sank into it. He took a sip of scalding coffee and set his mug on the table.
"Heero's gone," he said softly. "Two weeks ago, a Red Fang spy operating within Preventer kidnapped Faith. We intercepted them before they could get off-planet, but they were prepared for us. Heero worked out a deal and went with them in exchange for Faith. Preventer's official stance is that he's away on a mission, but I don't think he's coming back. For all I know, he's already dead."
Maybe it was denial talking, but Duo couldn't believe Heero was dead. Not yet. The man had more lives than an alley cat.
"No," Duo murmured. "They would have made some announcement. Something. Heero has a lot of enemies; nobody's going to kill him off and then keep quiet about it."
"Hmm." Trowa's response was noncommittal, neither agreement nor dissent. He had some more coffee and stared into his mug as if he thought he could dissect its secrets.
"How's Faith?" Duo asked, uncomfortable with the silence.
"I don't know," Trowa replied, refusing to meet Duo's eyes. Duo frowned; aversion was unusual for Trowa—he usually preferred eye contact when he talked to someone. "She isn't herself, Duo. She's—very angry. We got into an argument on the way over, and I'm still not sure what I did wrong. Relena's been having problems with her, too."
Trowa pulled a holodisc out of his shirt pocket and slid it across the table to Duo.
"Miss Noin gave that to me before Faith and I left this morning. It's a private message to both of us from Relena. I don't know what might be on it; Noin didn't know, either."
Duo turned the disc over in his hands. He'd never seen one of the miniature hologram projectors up close before; they were way too expensive for Duo's taste when you could accomplish the same basic thing over vidphone or email.
"She's wrecked the replay function on this one, so we can only watch it once," Duo observed. "Crazy thing to do with something this expensive, when the message could have been recorded over and the device reused."
"I guess that means it's sensitive material," Trowa offered. Duo nodded. He set it in the center of the table and pressed Play.
The hologram was a little grainy, but it was obviously Relena Darlian, sitting at her desk in her office. She looked thin and tired, and her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. But her voice was as clear and strong as ever.
"Duo Maxwell and Trowa Baron," she started. "I'm entrusting this information to you because I don't know where else to turn. Heero is—gone. I hope that he'll return soon, but during his absence, I find myself forced to take matters into my own hands.
"Duo, I'm sorry to burden you with my daughter a second time, but I'm afraid I need your help now more than ever. As I'm sure you're aware, all mobile suits were ordered destroyed at the end of the war. Even your gundams were taken to a secure location and detonated."
Relena paused for a second and glanced away from the camera. Duo watched as she wiped away a tear and took a steadying breath. He realized he was holding his own breath and let it out in a soft whoosh. This was gonna be bad. He could already tell.
"Wing Zero, unfortunately, is still in existence. It was hidden after Mariemaia's uprising, and fully restored. Since Heero's disappearance, Faith has been sneaking out almost every night and going to the storage hangar."
Oh yeah, Duo thought. This is definitely bad. Trowa looked deeply concerned now, but neither of them spoke. Relena wasn't done yet, and they only had one shot at this message.
"I'm not comfortable leaving Faith to experiment with this dangerous technology," Relena continued. "Heero isn't here to watch over her—as I'm sure he intended, since she couldn't have found the gundam on her own—and when I tried to contact my brother for advice, I learned that he has gone missing from his post on Mars. It is my hope that the two of you, Duo and Trowa, will be able to help Faith find her way. I'm afraid my knowledge of the gundams, and particularly the Zero System, is just too limited. Forgive me, Duo. I know your family is going through enough difficulty right now, but I don't know where else to turn."
"Aww, crap," Duo muttered, scowling at Relena's fading hologram. "This is not good. I only used the Zero System once. That shit freaks me out."
"It wasn't fun," Trowa agreed. "I don't think I have enough experience with it to be of any help, either. And Zechs is missing? This isn't good."
Privately, Duo didn't give a crap about where Zechs might have ended up. Anybody who'd try to crash a city-sized battleship into the Earth to put an end to war was insane , and Faith didn't need to be exposed to that kind of crazy . But there had to be somebody around who could help.
"Quatre," Duo realized. "He's the one who built the damn gundam. He used Zero, too, even mastered it. What about him?"
Trowa inhaled a mouthful of coffee at the mention of the other pilot's name and Duo remembered that the two of them had had some kind of falling out years ago.
"I don't know," Trowa admitted, coughing. "I saw him when I was on Earth, but we don't normally talk. I know he stays pretty busy with work, though; you might not be able to reach him."
"Oh, I can reach him," Duo said, smiling. He could reach Quatre even if it took breaking into his office again. "But let's wait until we're sure we have to. It could be Relena's blowing this way out of proportion; she doesn't know Faith all that well, after all."
"It seems that I don't know Faith all that well, either," Trowa said softly. "Talk to her for me, Duo? She isn't speaking to me."
Okay, Duo thought. Now it might be time to worry. Usually it went the other way around—when Duo and Faith were having issues, he got Trowa to figure out what the problem was. For whatever reason, Faith adored the guy. He'd never heard of the two of them arguing over anything before and it must have been pretty bad for Trowa to be as broken up over it as he seemed.
"I'll do that," Duo said. He downed the last of his coffee in a gulp and set the mug in the sink. Faith would blow a gasket when she saw it there, but she said funny things when she got mad. And he'd sort of missed her borderline-obsessive cleanliness.
"Thanks, Duo," Trowa murmured. He left his half-finished drink next to Duo's and started for the door. "I'm stationed on this colony until the situation changes or they can find someone suitable to replace me. Call me if you need anything."
"Will do, buddy," Duo replied cheerfully as he walked Trowa out. It was almost time to get Lexi from daycare anyway; he might as well show up a little early today.
Notes: So...This was supposed to go up about a week ago, but I accidentally used up all of my internet service for the month and I had to wait until it rolled over again. Sorry!
This was a rough chapter for me. Conflict is a necessary instrument in storytelling, or so I am given to understand, but it isn't my favorite thing to write. Anyway, wander on over to Between the Lines if you're looking for something a little softer. And review! Haha, please let me know what you thought about this chapter!
