Title: Unintentional (3/5)
Chapter Title: Anything You Want
Rating : R
Summary: She wants this...its just too bad he's so goddamned clueless.

Post series, Warning: Reference to a character death.

Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Mac, Dick, mentions of others like Wallace, Keith and Logan
Spoilers: entire series but AU from 3X14 the only thing that is different is that Lamb didn't die
Word Count: 1254
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or PS I love you

A/N: Ok, so this chapter addresses the character death I mention in the summary and its a little more angsty than the past two have been just to warn you. Its more back story than anything, but it's important to understand that this is 5 years post finale and something occurred that did change Veronica hence her non-involvement in her friends lives as mentioned in the previous chapter. She is older and maybe not necassarily wiser but has much more reasonable expectations of others these days.


It may have only been for 20 or so minutes, but the alcohol induced nap I took in the car did a world of good. I was still buzzed, pleasantly, but the drunken haze had lifted and the nausea was gone completely. Which was great since the last thing I wanted was for Don Lamb to see what I had for dinner all over his living room floor.

Once we got inside he set me down on the couch and headed into the kitchen. I wasted no time in settling back against the soft cushions of his sectional and closed my eyes as sounds of cabinets opening and closing carried in from the kitchen. It didn't take much for me to feel at home in his apartment, I'd spent a lot of my formative years there and then over the past couple years I'd been over more than a few times to pick up or drop off files and once or twice I'd even stopped by for a beer just because I was in the neighborhood.

My eyes shot straight open when I felt the cushion weigh down next to me and I found myself looking at a still slightly concerned Sheriff. He handed me a warm 7-up and some crackers and then pulled my feet in to his lap and began rubbing. I didn't even bother to hide my moan of approval because there's no way I could have. I heard him chuckle a little at my reaction as he reached over and picked up the remote turning the TV on. As he flipped through the channels I ate my crackers sipped my soda and enjoyed feeling his hands smooth over my feet.

I couldn't believe how comfortable it all felt. Almost like we'd been doing it for years and it was our nightly routine. But it wasn't, and I knew that. I might as well give up hoping because Don Lamb was never gonna see me as anything more than the 15 year old with doe eyes who turned into the sullen teenager who despised him and then became an work related ally.

When he landed on a channel that was running a Monty Python marathon he set the remote down and we spent the next hour watching and laughing. By that point his hands had left my feet and were resting over my legs and I was having an insanely hard time not leaning over and moving them where I really wanted them. On me, anywhere on me to be honest. Every time I looked at his big strong hands my heart rate increased tenfold and I was sure he could feel the rhythmic thrumming of my body that accompanied my aroused state.

I'd finally given in and was ready to sit up and risk utter humiliation when he turned to me and smiled. The minute I saw it I lost my nerve and rested back again. He placed his hand on my stomach and rubbed my belly slightly. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled back and placed my hand over his, wishing for him to keep it there. "Better. Getting a little tired though."

Lamb went to speak but was cut off when the TV switched to commercial and a preview for an upcoming showing of 'PS I Love You' on the channel popped up on the screen. The color drained from his face and he clicked off the TV before I'd even realized he'd picked the remote back up and I didn't even need to look in the mirror to know that my face was just as white as his.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, his hand still under mine on my belly but the moment had erased any thoughts I'd had of trying to make a move again. Talk about shitty timing, the last thing we needed was a reminder of one of the biggest loses any of us had experienced. Honestly, I could swear that if it hadn't been written years prior to what happened, the author of that damn book would owe me some royalties or something. She exhibited the pain of something like that way too well.

It had happened so fast, one day it was a horrible headache that wouldn't go away, a week later an MRI and a CT, a diagnosis, a second and then a third opinion and then within six months he was gone. If I'd thought losing Lilly was hard, it was nothing compared to losing him, not after we'd finally been able to make it work, not after we'd planned a future. I looked down at my right hand and the ring that had at one time been on my left and had to hold the tears back. I was about to move off the couch when Don's hand pressed harder against me and he turned to me again looking me straight in the eyes and then turning away from me again abruptly. "Do you still miss him?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. It would be a lie to say no and he'd know it. But I'd moved on, I'd had to, it wasn't like I had a choice and he knew that too. "Yeah. I think I always will….in some way. He was a big part of my life… for years. And I loved him, you don't forget that."

Don nodded and turned away for a few seconds before looking back again. "You know I'm really proud of you for how you handled it. I know how hard it was to go through that and not completely shut down. I'm really happy you didn't shut down Veronica. You've come a long way and it wouldn't have been fair for you to fall behind."

What do you say to that? Thanks, I tried? It took a lot of hard work? Cuz I did and it did, on both accounts. But even nearly 3 years later it still felt fresh at times, and the truth was that there were times, especially in the first 6 months that I really felt myself slipping and it had taken all I had to keep myself from losing it. The only thing that kept me grounded was the fact that I was needed, by my dad, by Wallace and Mac, and crazy as it sounds by Dick. Hell I even let myself think sometimes that Lamb needed me, if for nothing other than being the thorn in his side. They kept me going, kept me healing and that was what had led to my realization that I cared for the local sheriff more than I'd ever realized. From tragedy comes a new beginning I guess.

When I didn't answer I felt his hand move up from my stomach and clutch the hand I had resting on his. "I didn't mean to upset you Mars."

I looked up to see sincerity mixed with the ever present concern of the night and couldn't help but smile. "You didn't. I promise."

He nodded once and then clicked the TV back on before turning back to me. "Still tired?"

I shook my head and then sat up swinging my legs out of his lap and moving so I was leaning against him. His arm was around me instantly and he pulled me as close to him as possible. I let out a small sigh with my response. "No. Not really, let's just watch some more TV."

I didn't have to look at him to see the smile was back, I could hear it in his voice. "Anything you want Mars."

If only he really meant that.


Thanks for reading! Review please!

A/N 2: Ok, so I don't come right out and say it but I think its pretty easy to figure out who the character death was in reference to. And I think most of you, those who've read my other fics, know that I do love Logan. But for this fic I really wanted something to have occurred that changed V as I stated before and choosing to have Logan die from an illness worked for this because it was the clincher for her to finally lighten up on everyone and then rediscover the feelings she had once, and still had, for Lamb. There were many other ways I could have used the back story but didn't really feel like doing it in a prologue so I figured I'd slip it in here. I chose this chapter because I thought it would help show that LAMB has become a part of her life, whether he realizes it or not and he does care about her, obviously. But just to be clear, the issue is in the past, and will not be brought back up, it is merely meant to show that she has changed which is something she always expected of others, but was never willing to do herself when she wasn't perfect either.