TWO
Bobby's House, South Dakota – September 18, 2008
Christina stood propped against the doorframe watching Dean with their son with a heavy heart. She wasn't sure if having him back would turn out any better than him being dead. He'd made it clear a relationship with her wasn't on the cards, and that's what she wanted more than anything, so to have him around was going to prove difficult. The truth was she knew Dean was unable to commit to one woman; it wasn't in his mechanism but it didn't stop it hurting. And every time she saw him that pain would be there, regardless of the years that passed.
Whatever her opinion was of him at the moment, he was a good father and she couldn't fault him for his honesty. Still, she didn't have to like it. She'd imagined that if they'd managed to find a way to bring him back that he'd have a new found appreciation for her but deep down she knew Dean Winchester wasn't about to change.
"You OK?" Her father asked over her shoulder.
She nodded and turned to him with tear tracks down her cheeks. "I just thought…" She started but didn't manage to finish before another wave erupted from her eyes.
Bobby pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry Princess."
"You tried to tell me, I should've listened."
"If there was one person I expected him to change for, it'd be you."
Pulling away she looked up at him, "Yeah, you and me both. But it seems Dean Winchester doesn't give a shit who you are, no one will ever be good enough."
He affectionately reached up to nudge her chin, "You should be with someone who knows what he has when he has it. Someone who wakes up every morning saying to himself that he's lucky to be with you."
Although his words had been designed to comfort her, they didn't. If having a child with this man and offering herself to Lilith, as a trade for him wasn't enough to make him realise how much he meant to her, nothing else was going to. But her perspective changed in an instant. The last thing she was going to do was to let him know how much he'd hurt her, or plead with him for a chance – that would just result in driving him away. If it killed her, she would let him see that it didn't affect her and that she could be happy without him – even if it was just an act. She would show Dean Winchester that life didn't begin and end with him.
She wiped away her tears and took a deep sullen breath, "I guess it's time to let him go."
= X =
Dean looked across the room at the woman that had brought his son into the world and felt a twinge of guilt. Before his trip down the pit he'd been guilty of taking advantage of how she felt about him, in order to feel like his life hadn't been a complete waste of time. But he never actually promised her anything, he was very careful about that. At first he'd wanted to distance himself from her, to make it easier for her once he was gone but he hadn't been able to deny his feelings and once he'd confessed them, it was just simpler to give her what she wanted seeing as he wouldn't be around forever. Except now, he saw the error of his actions. He'd led her into a false belief that he would change for her, and the truth was he couldn't see himself changing for anybody.
He did feel remorse, but he had to be true to himself and it wouldn't have been fair to lead her on anymore than he already had. So, he'd had to tell her. He couldn't let her go on any longer thinking that he was ready to leave behind his hunter lifestyle and become 'normal' when it was all he was.
He drew his attention back to his son, and his heart swelled with pride – his trip down the pit hadn't changed that. He'd grown so much in his four-month absence. He was more like a little person now than he'd been before. He was capable of holding his head up steady when he was held upright, he could roll over from his stomach to his back and he was already making vowel sounding noises. He hadn't been prepared for how much he'd developed, but he could see himself reflected in the boy, despite how young he was. His namesake had the same piercing stare with green eyes and flashing smile – minus the pearly white teeth. He had a perfectly proportioned round face and dimples in his cheeks whenever he laughed. Then there was the dent in his chin – he was definitely a Winchester, there was no denying that. But if he could see it, he knew others would be able to too.
= X =
Christina – despite her heartbreak – ventured into the lounge toward Dean playing with their son. Rejection was the worst feeling in the world but she had to suck it up in order for him to be a father.
"Even after four months, he knows who you are." She said forcing a smile as she dropped down on the couch beside him.
He smiled at DJ and then looked back at her, "You've done a good job with him."
She nodded accepting his praise graciously, "It's been hard, on my own. But he's a good boy." She said reaching out to brush his cheek with the back of her forefinger. "Aren't you?" The bouncing 5 month old kicked out with his feet and smiled at her in response.
Dean looked over at Bobby at the doorway, "Your Dad hasn't…"
"Been able to get his head out of the bottle." She answered his question before he'd finished asking it.
"What about Sam?"
"What about him?"
"Hasn't he helped?"
"He'd have to be around to help Dean."
He turned slightly in her direction, "You haven't seen him either?"
"No, not since the night we almost… died." She lied realising quickly what information she was about to slip out.
He frowned; sure she was holding back on something. But he didn't want to push it. He knew the night he'd died was a sore subject and didn't want to open up any more wounds than he already had in his short time back.
"Here, take him." Dean said passing DJ back to her and getting up to his feet.
= X =
Bobby sat perched on his desk as Dean used the phone to try and locate his brother. He felt somewhat guilty for not keeping a better eye on the young man left in his charge, but Sam had been determined to deal with his grief alone – and he couldn't fault him because he'd done the same.
"Yeah, hi. I have a uh- cell phone account with you guys, and uh, lost my phone, I was wondering if you could turn the GPS on for me." Dean lied into the receiver as soon as the call connected. "Yeah, the name's 'Wedge Antilles'… social's 2474… thank you." He said hanging up and heading to the other room where Bobby's computer was.
Bobby followed him, "How'd you know he'd use that name?"
"Are you kidding me? What don't I know about that kid?" He replied sitting at the desk and logging into the Arc Mobiles website. He reached over and lifted one of the empty bottles off the desk next to him, Christina's earlier comment springing to mind immediately. "Hey Bobby, what's the deal with the liquor store, hmm? Your parents out of town or something?"
"Like I said, the last few months ain't been all that easy." He replied honestly, stood the other side of the desk from Dean.
The younger man forced his eyes up to his father figure and felt instantly sympathetic when he saw the sadness masked on his face, "Right." He said softly before turning his attention to the computer. On the screen was a red dot, marking Sam's location, with the address displayed beside it. 263 Adams Road, Pontiac, Illinois. Dean took a second to process the information and leaned back in his seat, "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."
"Right near where you were planted."
"Right where I popped up." He added. "Hell of a coincidence don't you think?"
= X =
Christina was sat holding her son, feeding him a bottle when Dean walked back into the room. "Did you find him?" She asked.
"He's in Pontiac." He sighed as he sat down next to her.
"What are you thinking?" She asked, knowing something was playing on his mind.
He shook his head, "I think he made a deal."
Knowing the truth, but being unable to tell him without leaking information he didn't need to know, Christina averted her eyes from his, "He was pretty determined to get you back."
Dean rubbed his brow, trying to hide any trace of the worry that had set up camp there. "I don't know what I'm going to do with him."
She glanced back over at him, "Don't worry, Sam's not stupid Dean. I'm sure he found a way to get you back without selling himself off to the highest bidder."
"How can you know that?"
"Maybe I just know him a little better than you think you do."
He took immediate offence. "No one knows him better than I do."
She sighed, "I didn't mean it like that."
"Then how did you mean it?"
"I just think there's a side of Sam that he doesn't show you, that's all."
"Well maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do either." He said, designed to hurt her. "Sam's black and white CJ; there is no grey area with him."
She exhaled heavily, "Alright Dean. You're right. I don't know your brother at all." She said shifting to the edge of the couch and getting up to her feet to leave the room with her son in her arms.
He watched her leave and hung his head. All he'd done since he'd seen her was hurt her, and he seemed powerless to stop it. He wanted to maintain a relatively good relationship with her that would enable him to see his son at every available opportunity but so far he'd done everything to ensure they weren't going to be on good terms. Of course, most of his attitude came from the fact that no one had seen his brother since he'd gone down the pit and that worried him.
With a weary sigh, Dean got to his feet and headed out to the car – where Bobby was headed when he left him. But upon reaching his destination he noticed they had extra cargo.
He frowned, "What's going on?" He asked the driver.
Bobby looked at his daughter and grandson in the backseat. "She wants to come along for the ride."
"We don't know what we're going to find down there. It could be dangerous."
"She's just as worried about Sam as we are. She just wants to see that he's OK."
He rubbed a hand down the length of his face. He could barely deny her that after everything he'd put her through so far that day. So, begrudgingly, he sighed and nodded. "Yeah OK. But she stays in the car until we know what we're up against."
Bobby nodded and opened the drivers' door to climb in behind the wheel as Dean got in the passengers side.
Brazenly, Dean turned to the woman in the backseat. "Are we good?"
Stubbornly she nodded, only half paying attention to him. "As good as we can be." She replied making sure DJ was secured in his car seat.
"Then let's see about getting you and your brother back together again." Bobby said starting the engine and driving away.
Astoria Hotel, Pontiac, IllinoisDean and Bobby walked down the corridor toward the room the owner had given them for his brother. They could see it up ahead, room 207. Reaching the door, they stopped and glanced at each other before Dean knocked on the wooden divide with his fist. A minute later a brunette neither of them knew pulled the door open wearing nothing more than her underwear. He looked her up and down as he did the same.
"So, where is it?" She asked.
Dean looked across at Bobby with a frown before looking back at her, "Where's what?"
"The pizza that takes two guys to deliver."
Dean peered around the doorframe and surveyed the inside of the room briefly, "I think we got the wrong room."
But he'd barely finished his sentence before Sam appeared from the bathroom; "Hey, is the-" Upon spotting his brother, his words stuck in his throat and stunned him into silence. He looked from Dean to Bobby and back again, gulping back emotion.
"Hey ya Sammy." His brother said, instant relief transforming his features into a soft expression.
The girl that had answered the door instinctively moved out of his path as he walked into the room in time for Sam to lunge at him, much like Bobby had when he'd first seen him. He pushed him into the wall, wielding a knife in his direction and Dean fought to keep from being stabbed as Bobby made a move to restrain the younger brother.
"Who are you?" Sam yelled as the older man pulled him away.
Dean frowned, "Like you didn't do this?"
He tried to free himself from Bobby's grasp but the older man had a firm hold on him, "Do what?"
"It's him, it's him Sam." Bobby confirmed trying to calm him. "I've been through this already, it's really him."
Sam immediately stopped struggling, "But…"
Seeing his brother was calmer, Dean took a step forward, "I know. I look fantastic, huh?"
Bobby released the young man, and he took a minute to take another look at his brother before he pulled him into a tight hug. He'd tried everything to save him from the pit, and just when it looked like he was running out of options – he was here. He could feel how tightly Dean was hugging him back and he knew he was just as relieved to see him. Tears stung his eyes and Bobby watched on with the same emotions as the boys felt. After months of trying to save him, to have him back without having to lift a finger was more than they could hope for and something they'd only question later.
As the Winchester's finally pulled apart, the brunette made herself known. "So, are you two like… together?" She asked looking from one man to the other from her position by the open door.
"What? No, no. He's my brother." Sam set her straight.
"O-oh, got it… I-I guess." She replied before looking at the man she'd been with prior to their arrival. "Look, I should probably… go…"
He was quick to agree, " Yeah, yeah. That's probably a good idea. Sorry."
Dean smiled and nodded at her. If he was honest, it didn't look like his brother had been living his usual bachelor lifestyle in his absence. Maybe he had taken having to be like him in order to survive a little too literal.
= X =
Sam opened the door to allow his guest to leave and she walked out into the hall before turning back to him.
"So, call me." She said shyly.
Leaning against the doorframe with his left hand, he smiled at the young woman. "Yeah, yeah, sure thing Kathy."
"Kristy." She corrected him, her face losing any trace of the smile it had once had.
"Right…" He replied, looking amused.
Kristy hesitated before walking away and Sam watched her leave with a sigh. That had been a close call. But thankfully, now she was gone so was his chance of being found out.
Dean – listening in – knew that this wasn't the Sam he'd left back in May. He sounded more like him and he was worried. He'd always been used to his brother being the yang to his ying, his conscious when he wanted to do something questionable, and his rational thought when he was thinking of going after something without proper preparation. This Sam was Dean, and he had to snap him out of that.
= X =
Looking up from her seat in the back of her fathers' car Christina's eyes connected immediately to the woman who'd just walked out of the doors of the Astoria. She'd know that face anywhere, regardless of the one she wore. With her son in her arms, she opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
"Ruby!" She yelled out, knowing her gut instinct was right. And sure enough the young woman stopped and turned to face her.
But when she laid her eyes on her, she cursed herself. "Damn!"
Christina gained on her, "So, you got your hooks into Sam."
"What?" She asked, caught off-guard.
"You're here; he's here, so I assume you've been here together."
"Sam's here?" She asked innocently, glancing up at the hotel.
She sighed, "Stay away from him Ruby."
She folded her arms across her chest and shifted her weight to one side, her body language screaming out attitude. "When Sam wants me to stay away, he'll let me know."
"Sam doesn't know what he wants. But I'm telling you, stay away."
Ruby leaned toward her a little, "What are you going to do? Last I heard you were drained of all your power."
"I don't have to have demon blood in me to kill you. You're just a demon."
"A demon with Sam on her side."
"You think he could be BFF with a demon?" She laughed.
"We're not just friends." She said trying to push her buttons.
Christina instantly felt sick at her confession, but she had to believe she was lying. "You're clutching at straws Ruby. If it comes to a choice between you and his family, he's going to pick family every time. The sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you can crawl back under the rock you call home."
= X =
Sam lowered to the bed to put on his shoes, Bobby was sat on a chair nearby and Dean was propped against a dresser – his arms crossed over his chest – watching every move he made.
"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked, eager to get the interrogation underway.
Sam's eyes met with his, "The girl?" He asked glancing at Bobby with a short laugh. "I don't pay, Dean."
"That's not funny Sam." He dropped his eyes to the ground momentarily before looking back at him. Sam looked up at him. "To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul or was it something worse?"
Sam frowned, "You think I made a deal?"
"That's exactly what we think." Bobby said emotionlessly from where he was sat.
He looked back at him, "Well I didn't."
"Don't lie to me." Dean almost pleaded.
His brother looked back up at him, hurt projected in his eyes. "I'm not lying."
The older brother unfolded his arms and took a step forward, toward him, "So what? Now I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch boy. I didn't want to be saved like this."
Bobby could see the confrontation coming, so when the older man made a move toward the younger man, he got to his feet.
Sam was instantly angry and stood up to face him, "Look Dean, I wish I had done it all right-"
Dean grabbed him by the shirt threateningly, "There's no other way that this could have gone down, now tell the truth!"
He forced his brother's hands off him and took a step forward, "I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate, hell, I tried to bargain Dean, but no demon would deal all right?" He confessed his emotions close to the surface. "You were rotting in hell, for months- for months and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me all right?" He disconnected their eyes. "Dean, I'm sorry."
Feeling guilty for accusing him of something he knew he'd been prepared to do in order to bring him back, Dean spoke softly to his brother, "It's OK Sammy. You don't have to apologise, I believe you."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but that does raise a sticky question." Bobby voiced.
"If he didn't pull me out then what did?"
= X =
With a deep breath, Christina walked up the corridor toward the room where Sam was staying. She was nervous about seeing him given that they hadn't spoken since that night. But – at the same time – she was eager to have him back. She could only assume though, that Dean and her father didn't know about Ruby, because they wouldn't have waited around to ask questions – she'd already be dead.
Reaching the door, she couldn't help but notice the tacky plastic heart shape behind the room number and she rolled her eyes. Maybe Ruby had been telling the truth about her and Sam's relationship, the evidence would certainly suggest that, but she didn't want to believe it. Another wave of nausea washed over her. The idea of Sam getting that close to a demon was enough to make her throw up her breakfast. She gulped to keep her food in her stomach and took a deep breath before reaching up to knock.
As Sam opened the door, his breath caught in his throat upon seeing her standing there in front of him. He'd forgotten how much he'd missed her. He'd forgotten the feeling of calm she seemed to bring along with her. He'd forgotten that feeling he had when she'd kissed him. But it all came flooding back when he looked in her eyes.
"Hey Sam." She smiled, with a soft expression.
"Hey." He said, barely aware of it.
Still she stood there, waiting to be invited in, and it didn't look like it was coming anytime soon. She smiled, "You going to let me in?"
"Yeah, yeah. Come in." He said moving aside to allow her access. He closed the door as she walked inside and turned to face her, addressing the young boy in her arms. "Hey DJ."
With a smile, Christina offered her son to his uncle, but none of them were prepared for what came next. As Sam reached to lift DJ from his mothers' arms, he was sent flying into the nearest wall, landing in a heap on the floor.
Christina frowned down at her son, "Hey, it's OK. It's your Uncle Sam."
Dean looked from DJ, to Sam, to Christina. "What the hell did he do that for?"
"I don't know, maybe it's because he hasn't seen him for a while."
"He didn't do that to me."
She looked at Sam, "Maybe it's the company he's been keeping." She said having a sly dig at him. "Been around any demons lately Sam?"
He got up to his feet and brushed himself off, "No." He lied with a frown.
