As I watch Bobby pace in Ross' office, I thank my stars that it is his turn to brief our new captain on most recent case. The last 12 hours of our investigation into a burglary at a well-known antiquities shop has yielded little to almost no clues.
Subtly watching their interaction, it is clear that Ross is upset that he has nothing concrete to report back to his superiors. More obvious is Bobby's body language and hand gestures indicating his frustration at our new Captain's lack of understanding of our investigative style. Poor Bobby, I know he misses Deakins at times like these.
I avert my eyes away just as Bobby comes walking back to our desks.
"You okay?" I ask
Bobby shrugs his shoulders, "Yeah, just frustrated with this case. Ross thinks we should have something substantial already."
"Bobby, we haven't eaten since breakfast, let's go grab some dinner. I always think better on a full stomach," I suggest.
"Okay, Eames. I know better than to argue with you when you're hungry. Let's go to Carpelli's, I'm in the mood for a juicy steak."
Shortly thereafter, we find ourselves in a tiny corner booth drinking a smooth merlot. It's late on a weeknight so the restaurant is practically empty which adds the element of intimacy.
"So, Eames, I've been thinking, if these guys wanted to sell Egyptian antiquities, they would already have a buyer since searching now would cause attention…."
"No, Bobby," I say as I shake my head and raise my hand. "No work talk. I want to enjoy my meal for once."
"Oh…Okay," he answers with a face showing his clear confusion.
"I'm sorry, Bobby. It's just, well…don't you ever want to talk about other things?"
"Other things? Like what exactly," he replies.
"I don't know. I'm just feeling restless lately and with no social life to speak of, I think we should perhaps make the most of the little free time we get outside of work."
Okay, Alex, be careful what you say to him, he scares easily, my inner angel suggests.
"Eames, I…you know that can be, well, dangerous," he says as his fingers tear at his napkin.
"Bobby, things are changing between us." I say, as I look him in the eye.
"Changed? What do you mean? We're still working great together, no one gets me like you do, it's the best partnership I've ever had. Are you unhappy?" he says with a terror-tinged voice.
"No, I wouldn't say that I'm unhappy, it's just, well, our work relationship is fantastic, but sometimes I just wonder about what I'm missing in the other areas of my life."
My eyes suddenly can't meet his across the table. God, I can't believe I'm going to do this, I think as my heart pounds violently in my chest.
"Potentially dangerous or not, Bobby, I think we should explore our relationship outside of work. I can't go on pretending that things haven't changed, that my feelings for you haven't grown beyond the typical platonic friendship."
I'm stunned to realize that I had to close my eyes in order to confess this to him. The darkness behind my eyelids seems a safe places stay compared to looking into Bobby's eyes to see his reaction.
Suddenly, I feel Bobby's fingers rub against the outside of my hand. His touch is hesitant, but his fingers feel so large and warm against me that a shiver runs down my spine.
"Eames, open your eyes."
My eyes slowly open and are drawn instantly to our intertwined fingers on the table.
"Eames…Alex, we need to really think about this. I'm not about to jeopardize the best relationship I've ever had because we are both lonely for companionship. We need to keep our heads about us."
"Companionship?" Alex's voice rises up angrily and pulls back her hand. "Bobby, if I wanted simple companionship, I'd buy a fucking cat, NOT proposition my partner!"
Bobby's eyes widen and he puts his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, Eames, I didn't mean it like that. Goddammit, of all the times not to have the right words."
"Bobby, I don't want to fight. Let me just ask you one thing and if the answer is no, we will never speak of this conversation again, alright?"
"What's the question, Eames?" Bobby says softly.
Ok, here goes nothing.
"Bobby, if there were no rules against us being in a personal relationship, no consequences, would you have pursued me romantically?"
"Eames, I…I'm not very…" he hesitates, trying to find the right words this time. "Okay, truthfully, yes, Eames, I would have asked you out already if there were no consequences. But the fact of the matter is that there are consequences and having a relationship not only puts our careers on the line, but endangers our successful, comfortable relationship and I'm really scared of screwing that up."
I look at Bobby and see that he is slightly sweating and noticeably worried.
"Bobby, I'm scared too, but I don't want to have any huge regrets in this life. After I lost my husband, I promised myself that if I was ever blessed enough to find someone I cared for again, I wouldn't waste a moment of it. My work is crucial to me, but I'm still a woman and I still want someone to love and love me back at the end of the day, a soft place to land."
The silence between us is deafening and I find myself tracing the lines of the wooden table to keep them from reaching towards him.
Breaking the stillness, the waitress brings our dinner and refills our wine glasses. We finish our entire meal in complete silence.
Walking back to 1PP, I pull my jacket closer to my body as the wind gusts have picked up. Suddenly, I feel Bobby's hand grab mine and the electricity I feel at that moment causes me to stop and look down at our hands.
"Eames, I don't know if I've ever told you, but you are the bravest person I have ever met. I trust you more than anyone, so I'm going to take a leap of faith, something I've never been good at, mind you. I care very much for you, and I can't imagine my life without you in it in some way. So, if we are going to try and make a go of this, you are going to have to take the lead, because I've never been very good at the whole 'boyfriend' thing."
As I look into his vulnerable brown eyes, I can feel my own begin to fill with tears. I squeeze his hand harder "I've never had a man ask me how I want to be seduced. You are one in a million, Bobby," I smile through my tears.
"And you are so beautiful," Bobby says as he wipes my tears away.
I turn my head and lean into the hand at my cheek. Bobby's large, warm hand feels wonderful against my skin and I softly kiss his palm, lingering a while and breathing in his scent.
When I glance up at Bobby's face, I find that his eyes are closed and his lips are slightly open.
This simple display of emotion from Bobby leaves me breathless and ever so happy.
"What do we do now, Alex?"
"Unfortunately, right now we go back to work and hunt down more leads, but tomorrow…tomorrow is a new day, Detective Goren, and I'm going to be full of surprises."
