Chapter 3: Half Complete


A/N: This would have been up earlier but my computer decided it wanted to go in to the repair shop. This chapter is bit different from the pervious two and is a bit darker but it still ties in the original premise. To make up for the lack of an update this chapter is longer than usual. I envision this chapter would take place at the start of season 3. Some of my main inspirations for this chapter were "Ooh Child" by Beth Orton and "The Call" by Regina Spektor. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!


"Dear Valentine, These are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?"


Three months…Arthur had been gone three months and Gwen was missing him more than ever. Usually she was too busy to think about him but every so often, she could not do anything but think about her love.

Gwen would think about how simple things were with Arthur in the alcove. She thought of how they had gotten lost in the moments and the outside world had not matter but things had changed…Reality had slapped them in the face by separating them.

Gwen remembered the day Arthur had told her the news. She had heard the rumors but refused to believe them until she saw him. They were only rumors; they did not mean anything. Right?

Gwen walked by Arthur as he leaned against a wall looking out a window that overlooked the courtyard. It was a normal hallway. It was not their hallway or their alcove, but no one was around. "The rumors are true, aren't they?" Gwen asked.

Arthur looked at Gwen and then out the window again. "Yes…"

Gwen felt her world starting to turn upside down or maybe it was just the shock. "When do you leave?"

"Before the end of the week." Arthur said.

"Why so soon?"

Arthur looked at Gwen. His expression was a mix of pain and anger. "We are at war. My father wants the troops to be at the main base by the end of the week."

"Oh," Gwen said. She took the red cloth that she keep on her and hidden within her sleeve and held it in front of Arthur.

Arthur looked at it and then at Gwen. No one was around so he took her by the hand and led her down the hall and into his room where he locked the door, guaranteeing they would not be bothered. As soon as the door was closed, Arthur pulled Gwen tightly against him and held her.

She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his chest. She clung to him tightly as she felt her body crumple against her. Thankfully, the door was behind Arthur so he could lean on it for support.

"Promise me you will stay safe." Gwen choked. She was trying to be strong and not cry. "Promise me that you will come back to me."

Arthur was quiet. They both knew the fates of war. They both knew the risk he took with leaving and there was a chance that he may not return. "Will you wait for me?" Arthur asked.

"I've waited this long, haven't I?" Gwen replied. She nuzzled her face into his neck, which tickled but he could not laugh right now. "You haven't promised me yet."

"I will do my best." Arthur said. It was all he could tell her. "I will come back to you as long as I can still breathe." He could not promise anything.

"I will keep you to that." Gwen said even though she knew how unpredictable the future was.

Therefore, she waited. She waited for a sign of life or death. She waited and sifted through the rumors discerning the truth from fiction. She waited for any real news to come that could be helpful.


Arthur was covered in blood, mud, and dried sweat. His body was sore and tired but that was a feeling he had become used to. If he was not sore or tired, it did not feel normal. He could not remember a time when he was not sore or tired or the smell of blood and sweat did not fill the air. The first few days the smell had made him want to puke but now he was immune to it.

Arthur took a basin of water and washed the blood and sweat off his face and hands before washing the rest of his body. Removing the blood, mud, and sweat off his body returned him to the feeling of the man he used to be. He was different from the man he was before Camelot was at war. Before, he was a boy in love without a care in the world. Now, everything depended on him.

Changed into clean clothes, Arthur went outside his tent and sat near one of the many fires of the camp. He sat and starred into the flames. He found comfort there. The heat from the fire warmed him and made everything seem a little better and brighter.

"It's going to be cold tonight." Merlin said as he sat down next to Arthur bringing the prince back to reality.

"I like it when it's cold." Arthur said. "It's better than not being able to sleep because it's so hot." Merlin and Arthur were both quiet. They both knew that neither of them really slept anymore and it was not because of the temperature. They were just trying to make conversation to distract themselves from the events of the day.

"These came for you." Merlin said as he handed Arthur scroll and a small letter.

Arthur discreetly put the letter in his pocket. He knew from whom it came. It was not a letter from the court but a letter from the daughter of a blacksmith who often occupied his thoughts. It was letters like those that kept him alive and that made him determined to live.

The scroll had the royal seal on it therefore Arthur knew it was official business. He opened the scroll and read it.

"Any news?" Merlin asked.

Arthur looked the scroll over to be sure he had not misread it or that his eyes were not deceiving him.

"What is it?" Merlin asked noticing Arthur's silence and concentration on the scroll.

"It's Camelot."

"What is it?" Merlin asked, his chest falling stomach with fear of the worst possibilities.

"We are going back." Arthur said as if it may not come true because he spoke the words. He handed the scroll to Merlin, went back into the tent and laid down on a cot. He was feeling a mixture of emotions: happy, worried, nervous, sad, upset, and something he could not put a name to.

Arthur turned onto his side and heard paper bending. He readjusted and took the letter of his pocket. It smelled like Gwen and that scent gave him comfort. He opened the letter, read it, and kissed it before putting it under his pillow and going to sleep.

The end of the letter particularly stood out to him and consumed his thoughts: "…I dream of the day when I will see your face again my love for it is my comfort. I know someday soon I will see you and any doubt I have about the world will be put right. I believe in you. I believe in us. I love you with all of my heart. Come back to me my love for my heart is only half complete while you are gone. Guinevere."

All Arthur knew was that they were going home and that he had received a letter from his love.


He was back! The rumors were true. Gwen had just caught a glimpse of the knights riding back into Camelot, but had not seen Arthur. She tried to hide her desperation to see Arthur but anyone who gave Gwen a second look over could have been able to tell that some was different about her. Luckily, Gwen was able to blend into the background so no one noticed.

Gwen had not seen Arthur all day and it made her sad. She wanted to see him. No, she needed to see. She needed to see the man that she had promised her heart to. She tried to think up a plausible scenario in which she could run into him. Nothing came to mind that she would be able to get away with or that made sense.

"Gwen?" She looked up to see one of the other maids in the castle.

"Sorry. Were you saying something?" Gwen asked.

"Uh, I was just wondering if you could do me a favor."

"What is it?"

"I have to go down to the kitchens and I need to bring this basin and pitcher up to Prince Arthur's room but I can't be in two places at once. Could you help me out?"

"Sure,"

"Thank you so much!" The maid said before giving a tray with a water basin and pitcher on it.

"Not a problem." Gwen said smoothly. On the inside, she was bubbling from happiness of the idea of getting to see Arthur.

Gwen walked as fast as she could but froze outside Arthur's door. She took a deep breath and knocked. "Hold on." She heard Arthur say. She could hear him scrambling around his room before saying. "Enter." Gwen entered the room and closed the door behind her.

"Just leave it—Guinevere." Arthur was sitting on his bed and grinning. She looked the same but different. Maybe it was her dress. All Arthur knew was that Gwen was more beautiful than ever.

Gwen placed the tray on the table. "I hope I didn't disturb you." Gwen said noting that Arthur was wearing a white shirt and pants. It looked like he had been resting before she came into the room.

"No. You didn't." He could not help but stare at her. He stood up and went over to her. His hand gently intertwined with hers while keeping eye contact the whole time. He leaned down and gently kissed Gwen to which she laughed. "What?" Arthur asked a bit confused and annoyed.

"Your beard tickles." Gwen said.

"Oh, I suppose it would." Arthur said becoming conscious of the facial hair he had grown while he was gone.

"May I?" Gwen asked bringing her hand up toward Arthur's face.

"Of course my love." Arthur said.

Gwen ran her fingers down Arthur cheek and softly giggled. "I don't like you with a beard." She said.

"Why not?" Arthur asked feigning offense. A creeping grin on his face gave him away.

"It's not your face. The man I fell in love with didn't have a beard."

"Oh, I see. Well, I'll just have to shave it off."

"I guess you will." Gwen said.

"Will you help me?"

"You can do it yourself."

Arthur's arms discreetly wrapped around Gwen's waist and pulled her in closer. "I might cut myself and we wouldn't want that to happen. I just got back and all so you have to be nice to me."

"I am nice to you."

"Please."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Fine. Sit down."

Arthur smiled at being able to keep Gwen in his presence and his room alone for a little bit longer. Gwen was able to find everything she needed to shave Arthur's face in his room. She made a shaving cream while Arthur washed his face.

"So, you must catch me up on everything." Arthur said. "What have you been doing? Who is dating whom in the castle? I want to know all the gossip but I mostly want to hear about you."

Gwen laughed. "Nothing much has happened." She said before put the cream on Arthur's face so he would not talk. She took the blade and began to shave his face of the hair that had grown on it. "Gaius has had me helping him since Merlin hasn't been around. People get sick and hurt but most of the time it's nothing too serious." She wiped part of his face and continued her task. "Camelot is fine…I'm sure you've heard all of the news. The truth is everyone has been waiting for you and your knights to come home, to restore some type of balance back to the kingdom if that makes any sense." She finished shaving his face and took a wet cloth to wipe all the remaining cream off his face. Once she was finished, Gwen cupped Arthur's face in her hands. Gwen leaned down and kissed him. It felt better and right.

"Better?" Arthur asked.

"Very much so." She said.

"Good." He took her left hand and looked at her ring finger. "You aren't wearing it."

"I can't, you know that."

"Where is it?"

"At my house. It's safe don't worry my love."

"I know it is. I just wish I could see it on your finger."

"You have and someday you will see it on my hand everyday."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." Gwen let out a sigh. "I should go."

"I'll see you later."

"I don't know what I'll be doing later."

"I know."

"Then…"

"I will see you later. Trust me."

"I do."

"I love you."

"I love you as well."


Everyone was there. It was supposed to be a celebration but for some reason it felt wrong to Arthur. Maybe he just did not want to be there. Arthur finished his drink and had it refilled again and pretended to pay attention to the conversation that he was supposed to be listening to. He took a sip of his newly filled chalice and discreetly scanned the room. There was still no sign of Gwen.

"Is there somewhere else you'd rather be Arthur?" Uther asked grabbing his son's attention.

"Why would you ask that?" Arthur asked.

"You seem a little distant tonight."

"It's just a little overwhelming being back and all." Arthur said.

"I see." Uther looked at his son. He had no idea of how to talk to him. "You shaved off your beard."

"Ah, yes. It didn't suit me."

"It made you look older." Arthur took another sip of his drink. "Arthur, will you join me outside the hall for a moment there is something I would like to talk to you about in private."

"Of course," Arthur said curious of his father's intentions. He downed his drink and followed his father out of the hall and down a deserted hallway.

"Who is she?" Uther asked turning on his son.

"Who is who?" Arthur asked confused.

"The girl and there is no point in lying about it."

Arthur laughed trying to hide the truth. "This is ridiculous! I have no idea what we are even talking about."

"I heard you tell her that you love her." That caught Arthur's attention. "I also heard you propose to her. So you might as well as tell me."

"Why?"

"Why," Uther was caught off guard by Arthur's protective and defensive nature of the girl in question. "Because I am your father and king. It's my right to know."

"Why? So, you can send her away? So, you can take away the only person I truly care about? Why does it matter who I care for? I know you will not approve so why should I tell you. I will not let you ruin this. I know it's hard for you because of my mother but I won't be alone and force people away like you do." Arthur said.

"Arthur." Uther said calmly.

"I already know what you're going to tell me. I already know that it is doomed. I don't need you to tell me that."

"Arthur." Uther's voice was now sterner than before.

"Don't! You are clueless. You throw these banquets and act like everything is okay but it is not. We are at war! That's not something to be happy about." Arthur was now screaming at his father and the pain could be seen within his eyes. "I won't become cold like you." Arthur looked at his father and walked away.

He could not go back to the banquet so he went to his room. He laid down on his bed but could not sleep. Unable to stand it, Arthur stood up and went to the window. He smiled as a plan came into his mind.


A knock on the door woke Gwen from her sleep. Groggily, she got out of bed and opened the door just enough so that she put her head out. "What are you doing here?" Gwen asked Arthur who she was more than surprised to see to say the least.

"Can I come in?" Arthur asked. "Please."

Gwen let Arthur in and lit a candle so that there was light in the house. "Do you want anything to drink?" Gwen asked.

"No, thank you."

"What are you doing here Arthur?" Arthur eyes went up and down Gwen's figure She was wearing a white nightgown that clung to her in all the right areas. He was unaware of how much he was leering at her. "Arthur. Darling." Arthur did not stop until Gwen said. "Sire."

Arthur looked at Gwen's face. "What have I told you about calling me that?"

"Well, you didn't respond to anything else I called you."

"Sorry, I was a bit distracted."

Gwen grabbed a shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders and blocked the view of her chest that Arthur had been enjoying. "What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if I could possibly spend the night here." Gwen gave him a questioning and confused look. "Don't worry I'll be completely honorable."

"No, that wasn't what I was wondering. I want to know why?"

"I can't go back to the castle tonight."

"Why not?"

"I got into an arguement with my father." Arthur said while becoming overly interested in a vase of flowers that was on the table.

"I'm going to need more than that if I allow you to stay here tonight." Gwen said. She was getting annoyed.

"It was about us." Arthur could see Gwen's body tense up. "Apparently, he heard me propose to you."

"This is bad." Gwen said before sinking onto a chair.

Arthur went over to Gwen and knelt before her. "It's not bad. Keeper of my heart please look at me. Guinevere."

She could not resist how he said her name. She had to look at him. "We aren't meant to be."

He felt as though a knife had just gone through his heart. "Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not true."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"How?"

"Because you are what got me here today." Arthur took Gwen's hand and wrapped in his. "While I was out there…There were days I wasn't sure I'd make it so everyday I would choose a memory of you and I would spend the day recreating every detail of you until it was prefect. I reread your letters everyday just so I could get to sleep." He placed a hand on her cheek. "You are my comfort. You are what gives me hope and faith."

Gwen kissed Arthur. "You can stay."

"Thank you. I'll take the floor."

"No you won't."

"Well, I won't have you sleeping on the floor again."

"My bed is big enough for us to share. Just no funny business." She said standing up.

"My honor depends on it." Arthur and Gwen both looked at the bed and then Arthur said. "Well, this will be something new."

"Yes." Gwen said. She put the shawl on the back of the chair and went to blow out the candle when Arthur grabbed her hand.

"Can I make a request?" He asked.

"It's depends."

"Just for tonight, will you wear it?"

Gwen went over to a cabinet, opened it, and took out a small box. She took the ring out and held it infront of Arthur. "Will you do the honors?"

Arthur smiled and placed the ring on Gwen's finger. "Thank you."

It was a simple ring. Gwen had wanted it that way but it was still beautiful. It was a silver band and where a stone should have been was a flower knitted from small fine metal pieces.

Gwen climbed into the bed and patted the space next to her. Arthur stripped down to his trousers and laid down next to Gwen. It was awkward at first. This was something new for them. They had always hugged and kissed but never shared a bed. Gwen laid on her side with her back towards the wall and she looked at Arthur who was lying on his back.

Gwen broke the stalemate by placing her head on his shoulder. Arthur smiled and moved his arm so that it wrapped around Gwen. Gwen snuggled in closer and stretched her arm out so that it rested over Arthur's chest. Arthur took Gwen's hand and intertwined it with his. He felt the ring on Gwen's finger. He brought her hand up and admired it. "The ring looks good on you." He whispered.

"Arthur."

"Yes?"

"I really missed you."

"I know. I missed you too." Arthur said before kissing Gwen's forehead. "Go to sleep love."

"Good night Arthur."

"Good night Guinevere."


Arthur's head hurt when he awoke. He drank too much at the banquet the night before and was now paying for it. The headache would have completely occupied his thoughts but Arthur was temporarily distracted by the presence of Gwen.

During the night, she had shifted so that her body was lying on top of him. Her chest was pressed against his chest. Her torso pressed against his. His face was buried in her hair breathing in Gwen's scent that was intoxicating. Her face was buried in his neck and he could feel her hot breath on him. It sent shivers down his spine but they were a good shivers.

Arthur's hands wrapped around Gwen's back and interlocked so that she would not be able to move away from him when she awoke. "You should go." Gwen muttered groggily.

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't want to but you should. Your father will be looking for you."

Arthur sighed and rubbed Gwen's back. She let out a sigh, which Arthur couldn't tell was a sigh of pleasure or of distraught of him going. Then Arthur froze and closed his eyes. His mouth hung open as Gwen kissed his neck. "Guinevere…" She did not stop. "Guinevere." He gently shifted them so that Gwen was on her back and Arthur was on his side. They were looking each other in the eyes. "We can't."

"I know."

"I want to but it's not the right time."

"Will you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Will you kiss me?"

"Of course." Arthur kissed Gwen softly but there was desperation in his kiss. "Someday, we will wake up like this and we will be married."

"That will make me very happy." After a moment, Gwen said: "Go,"

Arthur got up, redressed, and left. It was early so he was able to slip away without being noticed.