Chapter 3: Limits and Truth

Apollo stood in his father's bedroom overlooking the lake. Thinking once again of the first time he met Hera. It was rather strange how at the end you always think about the beginning. For he knew that this was Hera's end, no matter how much his father or he wanted it otherwise.

Hera had reached her limit, and it was finally time for her to move on. Perhaps one day they would meet again, and maybe they could actually be friends. He knew that if she left this world, his father would try to follow her wherever she went, for deep down, he knew. Maybe so did everyone else, they all knew that if Zeus lost Hera, he would lose himself as well. The saying did go, "Behind every great man, there was a great woman." Well he truly believed that Hera was that woman, she was his father's equal in every way possible, in passion, devotion, love, strength and leadership.

And maybe because he knew this, he knew that Hera was not the woman for him, not now, not ever. He was just like Jason had been, in love with a woman who could love only one man. The difference was that Jason did not have to live, next door. He did not have to see how she grieved the betrayal Zeus caused her with every infidelity, the pain she lived when his temper flared and he took it out on her, or how she cried when she thought no one was looking. Jason loved the beauty that he saw, but he too just saw one part of the woman, and yet Apollo wondered if maybe Hera had loved Jason. Not that she would ever act on her feelings, but maybe she liked knowing that someone else could love her, and she liked that. If only she knew that many had come to love her, yet knew better than to try anything that might get back to Zeus.

And then maybe Zeus always knew. Perhaps he knew of Apollo's, Jason's, Dionysus and even Hades' love towards his wife. Maybe that's why he didn't let her go, because he knew that letting her go, would mean that she would finally be treasured the way she was suppose to be, loved the way a man was suppose to love his wife, maybe then she would know what true fidelity was. If it were possible for a man, like Hades, to love Hera, then maybe Zeus did realize what he had. Because Hades would never do anything that would hurt Persephone, and maybe he had always loved Hera, just that he was too scared to fight for her, to try and win her heart. If Zeus knew this, he might have lost. If anyone had a chance at capturing Hera's heart, Hades would be that god. He was what young maidens dreamt about in a husband. A loving husband who would move heaven and earth to please her, someone who would stick by her side, come hell or high water. And maybe it was true, Zeus knew.

So many 'what ifs' and 'maybes,' Apollo knew that he could just be imaging this and that perhaps he was trying to project his own thought into those that he saw around him. Perhaps he just wanted to see Hera happy, and that's why he thought Hades was the god for her, the man she was supposed to be with. Maybe if she had married him, then she would be happy. They could have all the children they wanted, and those children would be raised in a loving home, with a father who was present at all their birthday parties, at all their memorable events, even if they lived thousands of years, that is what he wished Hera could have had, but sadly fate had other decisions.

He moved away from the window and left his thoughts about a brighter future for the Queen of the Gods alone, for even he knew that they were just wishful thinking. He went over to Hera's bedside and sat and looked at her lovely face, for perhaps the last time. He knew that if he brought her back, she wouldn't even be remotely close to the person she once was. She would become a former shell of herself, and she would look for another way. Another way to end her suffering, she had dealt with it long enough, why should she continue to suffer? Why should she be the only one who cared? Why should be the only one who was seen as evil? Why should she still have to live with all the guilt and pain she carried around?

Apollo just had to ask her, he couldn't assume she would want to stay; perhaps she would if her child had survived. But now she didn't even have that little ray of hope, to cling on to. Hades and his father had taken that from her, even Persephone, they had all taken that from her. They had deprived her of the joy of once again experiencing the joys of motherhood; perhaps she could have been the mother she had always wanted to be. But that was no longer a possibility.

He stepped closer to her, and sat on the stool that was set up especially for him, for he was her only companion for the past eighteen hours, while he somewhat tried to stabilize her, and save her unborn child at the same time, yet he knew it was all in vain. The child was no longer; it did not share its mother tenacity to cling to life. He knew that was what finally broke her. He knew, she knew. But he still had to let her make her decision.

He reached for her hand, and placed her small one, in both of his, and he felt her pull away almost immediately. He looked up, to see her awake.

"Hera, how are you?"

Hera removed her hand from his grasp, "What are you doing in my room? Have you lost your mind, if your father walks in and sees you here, he'll be beyond upset, it is not right for you to be in here, now please leave."

"Hera, calm down. Fat- Zeus knows I'm here. You don't remember why I'm here?"

"N-" statement died on her lips, as she remembered everything. "My baby, how is my baby?" she said placing her hand atop her midsection, yet she didn't feel anything, why instead she felt empty, as if the little life that had been growing inside her, had been ripped from her.

"Hera, I'm so sorry. I did everything I could to save the baby, but it was futile. You had already loss so much blood and you lost your baby girl. I am terribly sorry, for she would have looked like you." Apollo said, not even looking at her, he couldn't bear to see the broken look on her face, the look he knew she was going to have.

Hera listened to Apollo, and wasn't affected by it, until he said it was a girl and she would have looked like her. Hebe looked so much like her father, and she was her only girl, Hephaestus and Ares also looked like Zeus, even if sometimes she could see herself in both of them. How could Zeus have ripped the only child that would have looked like her away from her, how was it possible that after all the betrayals she still had hope. Hope that things would change, that he could finally come to trust her. That he could come to love her. But now he had taken everything from her. She couldn't take this anymore.

She yelled, and perhaps it was heard all the way down to the Underworld. The yell was full of anguish and pain, and perhaps even guilt, but she couldn't stop it. Once it was out, it seemed to have let all her other bottled emotions out. She yelled and felt the tears running down her face, she wasn't even worried about the humiliation of Apollo seeing her like this, she didn't care anymore, she had lost everything. Zeus had killed any hope she had, of ever being happy. He had turned her own children against her, Hebe rarely came around to see her, Hephaestus visited but was scared to enrage his father with his presence, so he rarely left his forge, and Ares was indifferent towards him, he knew that she loved him, yet he knew that she had made her decision when she defended Zeus, after he had beaten her and left her weak in the throne room, if only he knew that Zeus would have killed him, if Ares had challenged him, he would have lost and Hera would have lost her son. She would rather have her son hate her, than not have a son at all.

Apollo was terrified, never before had he heard such a broken sound, such a cry of anguish and pain in his entire life, and he had lived quite some time. He tried to block it out, but he couldn't. He wondered if everyone could hear just how broken the Queen of the Gods truly was. How damaged she had become, how much pain she was in and every one of them was to blame.

Zeus rushed into his bedchambers when he heard the pain-stricken yell. What had caused Hera to cry in such a manner? "Hera! What is wrong my darling?"

Apollo stood and watched as Hera cried her heart out, and it tore at him seeing her in so much pain. He knew that he could stop it all, end her suffering once and for all, but it was not his decision to make, she had to choose whether she wanted to stay on Olympus or finally be free.

"Hera?" Zeus reached forward as if to touch her, when she turned on him. Her eyes were mirrors of pain, and for the first time he realized what he had done to her. He had invaded her life, taken what she offered without ever giving anything in return, he used her and kept her for his convenience. Never before had he realized that he had broken her, not until the moment when she turned on him and any trace of the love she had for him was gone, he shivered never before had he been more scared in his life.

"Don't. Don't you fucking touch me. This is your fault. All of it. Ever since the day you came into my life, you've wrecked havoc on my existence, on my happiness. And now, I have nothing. I have nothing. Nothing! And all because you can't seem to find your own fucking happiness, so you decide that no one around you can find theirs, all because the Mighty King of Gods cannot seem to be happy for more than the time it takes to fuck. Even then, you are not happy or even satisfied. You have killed everything I have ever loved, and yet you make a big deal when I decide to punish those who were unfaithful, who cause my pain, make me look like a fool. I'm the one who always gets punished. ME! Not you, I've never broken my marriage vows, yet to you they seem like a mere suggestion. Something to toss out the door, when they don't serve your purpose. And you have the nerve to ask me what's wrong. How about everything? You took Ares', Hephaestus and even Hebe's love from me. You may think that you have done no such thing, but you have. When I stopped Ares from challenging you after you beat me for publicly defying you, you made it seem like I cared more about you than I did him. I did not want to see my son dead, especially by your own hands, what kind of mother wants to see her son dead? None. And Hephaestus, after YOU ripped him from my arms and tossed him off of Olympus and blamed it on ME, when I was able to find him again, he was too scared to come close to me, for fear that I would toss him off the side of the mountain again! And once he began to trust me, all it took was for you to find us having a conversation for you to instill fear into him again, that he once again started to retreat and is scared to even look at me, his own MOTHER! Now, let us not forget sweet Hebe, you chose to marry her to yet another one of your bastards and say that it was my decision, even after she had asked for another's hand in marriage. We knew this, she had come to both of us and asked for our blessing, I could see she truly him, and perhaps he loved her just as much. But because she was going to be happy you took that away from her, and said that I declared she was to marry Hercules. Why in all that I hold sacred, would I want MY daughter married to YOUR mortal bastard? Even she who once came to me for everything, looked at me with hatred. You made my own daughter hate me, for something YOU had decided, and in order for you not to look like a bad guy blamed it on me once again. And because I'm already seen as the evil Queen, they believed you. Every one of OUR children believed that I did not love them enough, that I love you more than I love them. But even you are wrong; I will always love them more than I love you. For my life with you has been my own personal hell. I regret having you as a husband, but I do not regret having met you, for without you, I wouldn't have my children. But I would not wish this marriage on even my worst enemy. And know you have taken what little hope I had of being a good mother to my future child, because you have taken that away from me too. You have ripped away any chance I had at being truly happy. Oh, by the way it was a girl. And according to Apollo she would have looked just like me, but we wouldn't want that now would we. Then maybe she would have been destined to live the same life that I have lived. So don't act like you care, when I know you don't. Now leave, I don't want to see you any longer."

Zeus was shocked into silence he could even get his mind to work properly. How could she say these things? That he did not love her? That he was a terrible father? Athena and Artemis would disagree with her, Hermes and Dionysus would vehemently disagree with her statement that she did want to see his children or anyone around him happy. How could she say this? When all he did was try and please her? When he chose her over all the other goddesses around. He chose to unite the strings that the Fates spun in order for their union to be eternal.

Everyone had run towards the Queens chamber when they heard her yell. It wasn't a sound they would soon forget, they did not enter, for they were not allowed but had heard her tirade because she was practically screaming by the end of it. How had they not known this about the Queen? Because as she had stated, she was seen as the Evil Queen and no one really gave her a chance, but they did not know that she was with child, and now she wasn't. She sounded defeated, she sounded like she had given up and lost all hope that things would get better. Perhaps she was right, things wouldn't get any better, especially for her.

Hades was in the courtyard when Hera's pain wretched yell reached him. He ran inside and came to a halt when he saw the crowd gathered outside her door. He too was a witness to her tirade, and when she said she was with child he felt an icy chill run through his entire body. He had not known, and he too was the cause of her pain, because ultimately he was the one to deliver the finishing blow. Oh gods, what had he done? He had never struck any woman before in his life, and he struck a pregnant one, not even just a pregnant one, but also his youngest sister at that. The one he had sworn to protect as long as he lived, the one who once made him laugh like no other, the one that made him realize that love was out there for him, the one that believed in him like no other had before, that would have given her life to protect him. And he had ultimately destroyed her chance at happiness, by taking away a baby girl that would have grown up to be just like her, except she would marry a man for love, not because she was disgraced, but because she loved him and he loved her. He had killed Hera.