"Um, Heiwajima-san…can I speak to you for a moment?"
"Huh? ….Sure."
"Then, I'm leaving first." Anri said politely.
"Oh, sure." Shizuo said. His face scrunched up again as he tried to remember. "Uh….what was your name again?"
"Sonohara Anri. It's okay if you don't remember, Heiwajima-san. Please don't trouble yourself."
"Ah…" Shizuo said.
"An…ri. An-ri. Ok, I've got it. An…." He trailed off. "….rin?"
"….Suwahara Anrin? No that's not quite right. Sorry, give me a moment….."
Anri just smiled as Shizuo fought to get her name right.
"It's really okay." She reassured.
"Then, I'm leaving first, Heiwajima-san, Ryuugamine-kun."
"See you tomorrow, Sonohara-san."
"Yeah, see you An…ugh, why can't I get that kid's name right….?"
Shizuo muttered to himself, unaware the kid he couldn't remember the name of was the original wielder of Saika.
One of Saika at least.
"Hey Shizuo, we'll be going too. Work ended early today so have a good rest yeah?"
"I bid you farewell, Shizuo-senpai."
"No it's not 'farewell'….but yeah, see you tomorrow, Tom-san, Varona."
Shizuo smiled at his senpai and kouhai. Tom returned his smile and Varona nodded simply.
"I see. Affirmative. See you, Shizuo-senpai."
"Yeah, see you."
Varona then turned and gave Izaya a look with narrowed blue eyes, her gaze trailing to Zephyrus before she turned and walked briskly away.
"So, what do you want to talk about?"
Shizuo asked Mikado when Tom and Varona had left the vicinity.
"I'm really sorry about the incident where the Dollars kidnapped women."
The high school boy seemed to be getting straight to the point. Shizuo found this unusual.
"…..Why are you apologizing?"
"But!" Mikado spoke as if he hadn't heard him. "I've been working hard!"
"….Huh?"
"I've been working really hard!" Mikado said as if speaking to himself as he nodded with a bright smile.
"I've been taking control of the Dollars, and purging any bad people who make use of its name wrongly. I've been working really hard towards my ideal of a better, purer Dollars –"
Mikado was speaking with the sort of pure smile he wanted the members of his organization to have.
…
…
So this kid is the Dollars' boss.
…So I did tell the boss I was quitting the Dollars after all.
Shizuo thought. It didn't matter to him that a teenager still in high school was the leader of the Dollars.
He didn't consider it part of his business. What mattered to him was that he had told someone significant he was quitting the group he had been a part of for so long, especially for someone like him. That he had shown the due respect to his previous boss.
He had cut all ties with the Dollars after that.
That was why he couldn't really comprehend why the boss of the Dollars which he was no longer a part of was telling him about how the Dollars had changed since then by his rule.
But the kid seemed eager, as if just telling his ex-subordinate the progress the Dollars had made, made him happy, and so Shizuo listened silently.
….Was Ryuugamine always like this?
Shizuo wondered. His gaze automatically moved, his eyes narrowing at the thought.
….Or did Izaya….?
But Izaya was not looking at him for once with that taunting look. He was talking to the girl whom he remembered as 'Zeph'.
"…"
" –Yeah, so I think it should be alright now. Of course, if there are any more troublemakers, I will do the best in my power to ensure they don't taint the name of the Dollars."
"…Yeah."
"That's right, I have power in my hands now after all. I can change things –"
"Power corrupts."
"Eh?"
"Power corrupts." Shizuo repeated. He shifted his gaze away from Izaya.
"Don't handle too much power, kid."
"….It's rather surprising to hear you say that, Heiwajima-san." Mikado smiled. "Since you're the most powerful man in Ikebukuro. Yet you're still a good person."
"That's incorrect."
"…Eh?"
"I'm not the most powerful man in Ikebukuro." Shizuo said. "I'm the strongest man in Ikebukuro."
"Isn't it the same –"
"I'm the strongest man in Ikebukuro." Shizuo said again.
"But that's only because of my strength which I was born with. That strength is only physical. I don't have control over most of Ikebukuro like you currently do. I'm not powerful at all."
"Strength is power, Heiwajima-san."
"That depends." Shizuo said unexpectedly. "To me, power is something you hold, that you own."
"…That you control."
He pushed his sunglasses up, his gaze piercing through Mikado.
"I don't own my strength. My strength owns me. I don't control my strength, it controls me. I have no control over my violence, and so I have no power. I'm the strongest man in this city, but at the same time I'm weak. Because I lack control."
"….Heiwajima-san."
"That's what I think." Shizuo said simply.
"That's why, be careful with the power in your hands Ryuugamine. Don't let it control you, or it won't be yours anymore."
"…I understand, Heiwajima-san." Mikado smiled. "But there are things I have to do."
"Don't go too far." Shizuo muttered.
But he knew his words would reach deaf ears.
Shizuo had nothing against purging misusers of the Dollars name, he wasn't exactly the most sympathetic guy –
It was the fact that Mikado, the innocent kid who looked like he couldn't hurt a fly, was now doing something so merciless that set off warning bells inside his mind.
But it was none of his business, since he had left the Dollars, and so he didn't pursue the matter further.
…
At the same time
…
"Hm? Looks like Mikado-kun is speaking to Shizu-chan. I wonder what they're talking about?"
"Jealous?" Zephyrus said. "'He's probably talking to Shizu-chan about that time the Dollars kidnapped women.'. You already know, so why ask?"
Izaya smirked. "Perhaps because I wanted to see your reaction."
Zephyrus's face remained impassive, and Izaya went on.
"Speaking of which, I was surprised."
"Oh?"
"That you borrowed one of my knives to threaten Sonohara Anri with. And, the words you spoke to her weren't exactly cordial."
"…I'm rather neutral towards her, and I'm not one to pretend to like someone when I don't."
Zephyrus said when Izaya looked like he was expecting a reply.
"Well, looks like we have that in common. I don't like that inhuman creature either."
Izaya spoke as if he was pleased. Zephyrus just shrugged.
"You're not going to object?"
"Huh?"
"Don't you see Sonohara Anri as human? In the end, you treat her like you do any human – with acceptance. You even defended her, didn't you?"
"Even if I do, you won't listen to me. You have your own way of seeing Sonohara Anri, and I have mine. So it's better to just agree to disagree."
"….You really are logical."
Izaya smiled at his own observation, gesturing.
"I'm curious. Why don't you like her?"
"You're surprisingly talkative aren't you."
"I'm always talkative."
"It's not that I don't like her," Zephyrus said. "It's that I like her only when she does things I want her to do. Like when she grasped my hand in return. That was really surprising and it made me like her a lot more. But I don't think that's really like."
"….So I don't really dislike her that much or anything. I merely wish she would use her power to help her friends. She has control over Saika, so she has power. And I just don't understand why she won't use her power when she can. Since she does consider Mikado and Masaomi to be important to her, so I can't comprehend why she doesn't take action. …It's this lack of understanding on my part that leads to this situational 'dislike' I think."
"Yet," Zephyrus continued before Izaya could speak. "I don't exactly condone someone taunting her about that either. I believe humans should have space to resolve things on their own, especially if they need it. She's just dealing with things in her own way and I can respect that."
"And, bringing her weakness and inability to take action up when she's just finally confided in someone….well that's pretty cruel."
"Why do I feel like I know that someone you're talking about?"
"Because you do."
"…So who do you dislike more, Sonohara Anri or me, Orihara Izaya?"
"Orihara Izaya."
"Wow, no hesitation at all. You really dislike me that much?"
"Do you want me to like you? What does it matter if one human dislikes you or not? You're acting kind of out of character here, Izaya. Next you're gonna ask, 'What do you dislike about me'? It would sound as though you care about what I think."
"They do say curiosity killed the cat." Izaya gave an elegant shrug.
"….So you're not denying it." Zephyrus muttered, looking at Izaya as if trying to figure out what had changed.
"….You really do care about what I think, don't you?"
"Of course. It's Zeph-chan, after all."
"Yeah, 'Zeph-chan' – the human whom you haven't even known for a day, or three hours for that matter. But I guess that means you're not gonna answer my question."
So she doesn't already know the answer
How surprising
Izaya showed none of his thoughts on his face as he gave a smile.
"Zeph-chan is the human from another world – crossing time and space; does acquaintance time really matter in this case? You've already defied the laws of physics itself."
"So if it were any human from another world you would care about what they think?"
"That depends."
"….I don't really get you."
Zephyrus said. She looked up at him, then reached up to ruffle his hair.
"…What are you doing?"
Izaya's expression was a mixture of curiosity and bemusement. Zephyrus answered him.
"No this isn't common for humans in another world. But you are Izaya, huh….."
"I fail to see how that impromptu action would provide confirmation of my identity."
"Well, I thought if you weren't Izaya, or if my arrival ruined your character somehow, you would act out of character. Like blush or swat my hand away or frown or yell….but since you just accepted it like you do everything, I guess you really are Izaya."
"And here I was thinking it was a simple measure to dislodge my 'wig' if I weren't really Orihara Izaya. To think your thoughts were based more on my characteristics, I'm almost impressed."
"And I fail to see how that would impress you." Zephyrus said distractedly as she removed her hand from Izaya's glossy black hair, sliding it into her pocket. "It was just a simple experiment, that's all."
"Anyway," she said, shifting her gaze to Izaya.
"I don't dislike you that much. I just dislike Anri less than I dislike you since unlike you, I can pity her. I can sympathize with her. Because she didn't actually do anything wrong and it's all a part of her character development and it's just my personal feelings getting in the way. While you did everything wrong despite your character already having developed, and it's not surprising for you to be disliked."
"Ah Zeph-chan, so you do care!"
"Shut up." Zephyrus said, turning away but not denying it.
There was soon a hand on her hair, and she shifted to look at Izaya who had a bright smile on his face.
"….."
"Payback."
Izaya declared cheerfully and ruffled Zephyrus's hair in return.
Zephyrus blinked, then smirked.
"You're so childish."
"That doesn't sound very effective when your hair is all messed up like a kid's, Zeph-chan."
"Well, damn."
Izaya was about to respond but another man spoke.
"…Zeph."
"Shizuo? What's up? Izaya stop touching my hair."
Zephyrus said and grabbed Izaya's hand, pushing it away from her hair as if she cared about what Shizuo thought; then brought a hand out of her pocket to rearrange the messy brown locks.
"…."
Shizuo gave Izaya a look before he turned to the new arrival.
"…You sure you're fine with staying with the flea – I mean, Izaya?"
"Huh?"
"…..If you don't want to stay at my place you could always stay at Shinra's and Celty's. They won't mind too much. Shinra's kind of a nutjob but Celty's okay, and it's better than staying with that shitty flea."
Zephyrus stared for a while, before she smiled.
"Thanks, Shizuo."
"…..Ah. Then –"
"But Izaya saved my life."
"….."
"Yeah, he did. He's a bastard but I do owe him somewhat. So if he wants me to stay with him I guess I will, though I don't see how that will be paying back. Anyway like I said, I really don't want to trouble people, I kind of appeared out of nowhere didn't I; and this shitty flea here wouldn't be troubled by my presence at all."
Zephyrus said, and proceeded to ruffle Izaya's hair as if to prove her point.
"Now who's the childish one, Zeph-chan?"
Izaya said, but looked almost pleased at Shizuo's silence.
"We're both childish. There's no winner or loser. Happy?"
"It's a stalemate then?"
"Yeah but I wasn't even aware this was a game. Like I said it was just a little experiment."
"…..You wouldn't be troubling me." Shizuo said. "….Don't let the flea –"
"Oh yeah! Can I see Celty and Shinra?!"
Zephyrus interrupted, looking excited. Shizuo looked surprised.
"Huh?"
"If it's too much trouble it's okay, but I really want to see them during my stay in Ikebukuro, and what better time than now? It'll be fast, promise! I just want to see their faces and maybe talk to Shinra a bit….."
"I guess you can…"
Shizuo said slowly, as if he was trying to figure out why she was so excited to see the faces of people she wasn't even supposed to know –
Even though one of those people didn't have a face.
He wondered if Izaya had fed her false information, but couldn't find any reason for the flea to do so.
Izaya could have done it for shits and giggles – but the expression on the girl's face was as if she knew exactly the kind of people she would be dealing with, and was excited to meet them anyway.
"Really? Yay! Shizuo you really are the best! Alright then let's go!"
"….Right….."
Shizuo seemed as if he was still trying to figure out how the situation had changed so suddenly, looking as if he was attempting to go back in time.
But Zephyrus didn't give him time for that as she carried on the conversation –
"So? Where is Shinra and Celty's home? I'm new to Ikebukuro, so you'll have to be my guide, Shizu-chan."
"…..I'll lead you there."
Shizuo replied, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at Zephyrus.
"What is it?"
"…..Nothing."
Izaya took the moment of silence to join in.
"Well then Zeph-chan, I'll be going back first."
"Oh no you don't," Izaya blinked as he was physically pulled back. "You're coming with us."
"And why would I be doing so?"
"To visit your only friend who got attacked."
"Why should I do that?"
"Because he's your only friend?" Zephyrus said wryly. "So if you don't want to be entirely friendless, you'd better."
"But I thought we were friends?"
"Since when? We're merely unfortunate acquaintances. Though it's fortunate I'll be going to Shinra's so you have to go too."
"Well, I happen to have an appointment with a client –"
"That's a lie."
"…How did you know?"
"You just told me," Zephyrus said smugly. She pulled Izaya along by the sleeve. "Now stop arguing and follow us. I don't know the way to your house anyway. You wouldn't make me impose on Shizu-chan, would you?"
"You could ask Shinra for directions. Or you could just stay with Shinra, since you like him so much."
"Is that jealousy I hear, Izaya?" Zephyrus said sarcastically. "You're the one who said I'm staying with you, so don't go backing out of it now. I want to see Namie too anyway."
"Is there anyone you don't want to see?"
"You?"
"How hurtful." Izaya smiled. But he allowed himself to be dragged along.
"You know you do want to visit him. I'm merely giving you a catalyst, or an 'excuse'. Shouldn't you be grateful?"
"Careful, you're starting to sound like me."
"…Really? I must have been spending too much time in your presence."
"Exactly. So….."
Izaya said and then demonstrated his next words by attempting to extract himself from Zephyrus's hold.
"…Zeph-chan."
"What?"
"Let me go?"
"No?"
"….."
Izaya pulled out of the hold on his sleeve, and Zephyrus grabbed his arm.
"…"
They looked at each other.
"Zephyrus."
"Izaya."
A tug, accompanied by another pull.
"…..."
…
Shizuo and Mikado weren't the only ones looking at the comical duo – of a girl who looked like a high schooler pulling fiercely at the arm of the reluctant black haired man in a fur trimmed coat who was pulling back like it was some kids' tug of war.
"Stop running away, damn it! Just go and see him already!"
"But I don't want to! Why are you so insistent?"
"Otherwise what the hell am I here for? I'm only going to be here for a short while so I might as well make you do something you should be doing for your only friend! Any fan would do the same!'
"I don't want to go." Izaya's voice was bordering on a whine. "Let me go, Zeph-chan!"
"If that were said in English, it would be quite ironic. Anyway, just come with me already!"
A flash of annoyance crossed Izaya's expression as he smiled sharply.
"Don't push your boundaries, Zeph-chan. I'm quite skillful with knives, you know? And you don't look like you could counter me."
"I can't, but Shizuo can. Would you rather him throw you all the way to Shinra's? I'm sure he'd be delighted to."
Izaya now looked openly annoyed at the mention of his arch rival –
Who was standing nearby and decided to finally contribute to the conversation.
"Oi shitty flea, listen to the girl. She's trying to help a bastard like you – though I have no idea why."
Shizuo scoffed as he glared at Izaya.
Izaya's annoyance seemed to increase, before he smiled and drew out a knife –
"You bastard –"
Shizuo moved forward, but Izaya didn't stab the one who held him captive.
The knife sunk five millimetres into Shizuo's arm instead.
Zephyrus stared, and Izaya took the distraction to run away.
But Shizuo was faster, having already been in momentum. He charged and grabbed the collar of Izaya's jacket, pulling him up to eye level.
"YOU SHITTY FLEA….!"
"Shizuo, you're the best! Now let's get this lonely bastard over to see his only friend."
Shizuo blinked as Izaya outright scowled, not looking happy about the situation at all, or that his escape plan had failed miserably.
Shizuo felt his anger melt away. He couldn't help but grin.
Forget throwing Izaya, he would much rather savor the expression of annoyance on the flea's face all the way to Shinra's instead.
No one noticed the look on Mikado's face as he left the scene quietly.
…
…
…
This story takes place in another 'timeline', so while things have happened up to a certain point (volume 8) they'll change because it's definitely not going to follow canon, as I said it's more of a slice of life everyday life kind of story. So Durarara may still be taking place in another timeline~
Thank you to those who are not fond of/hate OC fics but gave this story a chance! I'm very grateful haha. I don't like OC fics either to be honest which is why I was hesitant in posting this. It was just something I was writing for fun, but I was writing it so much I realized I had put my other stories aside so I decided to just post this and let you guys know. It's because they often have a lot of OOCness and I stick to canon material (and characters) so I'm going to try to change that here. Zeph may seem like the main character now (another thing I don't like about OCs and IzayaxOC so be rest assured haha) but trust me she isn't. It just seems like that now because she's doing things and taking control of the situation - once all the introductions and meeting people are done, she'll be pretty mild. And things will happen without her control, as it does to characters in Durarara. Including things she doesn't want to happen. So I'm minimizing author bias here as I always do.
Also, how can I be excited for the next episode...why not? Shizuo and Izaya finally met after 6 years (for us, about half a year for them?)! How can I not be excited?!
Haha ok I know what you mean. Well, as a Shizaya fan, yes it was heartbreaking to hear them say goodbye (forever) to each other.
But I've read the novels so I'm prepared for what's going to happen. And I've long gone way beyond the death match to SH and the Izaya novel - so I haven't been dreading it. In fact, I've been looking forward to it.
My love for Shizaya isn't that weak to be shattered by the inevitable death match.
In SH (the sequel to Durarara after volume 13 which will be animated from next episode onwards), Kuon (a new character) asked Namie about Izaya, and she told him about him. Then when he asked why she's not affected by such a manipulative guy, she said this:
Why had she not been consumed by Izaya?
Why was it that, despite being so closely involved with him, she had never been brainwashed by him?
When he asked this, Namie looked into the distance, and said, with an enamoured expression,
"My heart has an unbreakable pillar supporting it. It'd take much more than a guy like that to overcome me."
Namie is talking about Seiji here. Even though it's unrequited love, she doesn't care. Her love for Seiji is strong enough to support her even through Izaya's manipulative machinations.
It's the same thing here. My love for Shizaya won't be lost just because they're going to try to kill each other for real. It's an important aspect of their relationship which I've accepted. No, I'm interested in what happens afterwards instead. And the fact there can even be an afterwards - well it just says something, doesn't it?
I don't need them to be lovey dovey towards each other or declare their love for each other, I love them together anyway.
Well, it's like my love for Varona. 'Shizuo's girlfriend', a 'bitch', whatever title fans give her, I will still love her. Yes it was a bit hard to like her character because she was presented by fans as Shizuo's 'girlfriend' before she was presented as a badass, independent assassin, but once I saw past all that, once I read the novels for her character, I grew to love her. And this love is so deeply rooted all the conflict surrounding her doesn't affect me. Sure, it's a bit saddening to see people bashing Varona for Shizaya or even people defending her when she doesn't need to be defended and making a big deal out of everything - and I get a bit down for why do people have to treat Varona this way (of course if they dislike Varona for her character, nothing to do with shipping that's a different matter but often it's not the case).
But when I watch the episode and hear her voice, see her expression it all comes down to, "I don't care what people say, I don't care how people make you out to be. I just love you, so much. You bring tears to my eyes. I just want to give you a big hug." Because to me, Varona doesn't need a ship to be awesome - she's amazing enough on her own.
It's like how I put her as the 'villain' in Fallen, she's not really that bad right? It's just the situation, that story. So I can just write her according to how the situation plays out and still love her, and not come to hate her because she's presented in a bad way or something. How she is presented doesn't affect my perception of her. Because I love her.
And I also really like her friendship with Shizuo. They're so cute together, but it's not romantic. Shizuo's type is older women - Narita himself said this and said it was important (he literally said this on twitter). Because of his childhood love (the milk lady), Shizuo's preference is towards older women/people (like how he gets along well with Celty, and respects Tom) Shizuo considers Varona his 'precious kouhai'. Kouhai. Someone to take care of, and not someone who can take care of him (like his first love the milk lady did). People can ship them together all they want though (they are really cute and do seem perfect together in the aesthetically pleasing sense), but it's factually incorrect to say she's Shizuo's love interest I think.
I can't seem to ship them together though because even though they're my favorites, they're too similar I think. They both consider themselves weak even though they're strong, they're both socially awkward. Sure it's cute (especially when they eat cake together!) and since I love them both I 'ship' them a bit in moments even at the girlfriend rumors (because they're both just so oblivious!) but it's not the same as believing in a relationship between them. I think they're just too similar. I think Shizuo needs someone who can balance him out instead (preferably someone who has experience dealing with him) Varona is still trying to understand Shizuo - no, she's still trying to understand herself. She doesn't even love herself, much less love someone else.
It's kind of like Izaya and Zeph. Izaya was the first person Zeph met in her new environment, and they talked a lot and though she went to talk to everyone except him she went to him when he called and was willing and ready to listen to what he wanted to say (hey she says she was talking to Varona and Shizuo was looking at her but in the end she did go to Izaya just because he called she didn't ignore him, actions speak louder than words lol). Zeph is direct and blunt to Izaya, like Shizuo is to Varona. But they do pay attention to the new figure who suddenly appeared in their life (even if it doesn't look like it). But it's not romantic despite the interaction of opposite genders, because Izaya loves all humans equally. And they're similar, they both tell humans things, they're both childish LOL like kids LOL what is with that arm pulling seriously?! (Even Shizuo was speechless!) Please you two, you're both in your twenties, (especially you Izaya no you are not the same age as Zeph), try to act more like mature adults.
Likewise, Shizuo is the first person Varona got to know personally so she got attached to him and they spend time together enjoying each other's company. Of course, I didn't model Izaya's and Zephyrus's interaction/relationship based on Shizuo's and Varona's, it just somehow turned out that way when I looked at it lol ironically both pairs have the same age difference. Izaya and Zephyrus write themselves, I'm just an observer who joins together their writing to tell the story.
Anyway back to Shizaya. So what if Shizuo and Izaya are going to try to kill each other for real? So what if they said goodbye to each other? It's something new, isn't it?
After all, it's Durarara. And in Durarara no matter how much relationships seem screwed up and irreparable, everything will be all right in the end.
Look at Anri and Mikado. They like each other but they have so many internal insecurities and can't be honest with each other. Look at Masaomi and Mikado. Best friends since young, would do anything to save the other even overcoming their past weaknesses but end up involving Ikebukuro in their conflict instead and doing things past the point of no return. Look at Shizuo and Varona. His first kouhai (since he got fired from so many jobs) and she goes against him for her own ideals, but he's still able to believe she's a good person. Look at Anri and Mika. Anri's first friend who saved her from bullies, she fell in love with Seiji and left her aside but Mika still does care about Anri, telling Mikado to not make Anri cry, and in the novel it said it's not that Mika doesn't genuinely care about Anri; she does; it's just, in her heart, Seiji is always first (probably even above herself). Look at Slon and Varona. He's her partner (and that says something for someone like Varona to be relieved he's alive) and she lost all hope when she thought he was dead because of her weakness and blamed herself, they conflicted when they met again after so long but in the end what's important is the other is alive. Look at Namie's love for Seiji. Seiji will never love her back, but it doesn't break her, it strengthens her, enough to go against someone like Izaya, she becomes lovey-dovey whenever it's about Seiji but in the end she's still able to remain her cool self.
And look at our lovey-dovey couple Shinra and Celty. Let's remember Shinra was in unrequited love with Celty for 20 years. And even now because of Izaya they can't have peace.
So I think a recurring theme in Durarara is to be true to your feelings - to yourself. (And I think that's why people are sad for Izaya because he's true to his love for humans but faces rejection...it's okay Izaya you're not alone in my stories including this one)
And so Shizuo and Izaya are being true to their anger and hatred towards each other in their death match. And there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't break their relationship. It strengthens it all the more. Even if it's with hatred, it shows their relationship is unbreakable even after not meeting for so long.
Because Shizuo and Izaya have known each other for 8, almost 9 years, they're the 'pairing' which has known each other the longest, next to Shinra and Celty (and Masaomi and Mikado), there's a lot of their relationship which we haven't seen (and it's more than even Shinra and Celty because Celty and Shinra didn't have such an intense, passionate relationship as Shizuo and Izaya because Shinra's love was unrequited in the past), the person they spent the most time with is each other.
Izaya, who's interested in all humans equally, who 'gets bored by boring people' (or something, it was mentioned in Volume 1 I think) somehow can't seem to leave Shizuo alone (even though Shizuo is leaving him alone) and is always thinking about Shizuo including the time when he was in the hospital (the anime left that out but he thought about Shizuo the whole day all the time and only Shizuo, after considering who would come to kill him of course which of course included Shizuo, "he", "him" was on Izaya's mind all the time). Shizuo, who shuns himself from society because he hates not being able to control his strength, feels free to use all of it on Izaya (even with a grin on his face like he's enjoying himself, he never grins like that with gangsters and debtors lol. He did during the Saika incident but in SH he confessed he enjoyed being able to release his strength during the Saika incident and he did it while talking about Izaya...to Celty). His trademark phrase with Izaya is, "Izaya-kuuun, let's PLAYYYYY!" Play. Shizuo wants to play with Izaya (even if it is violent play), in a way he definitely doesn't want to with other people (because he's scared of hurting them). In a way, Shizuo's hatred for Izaya has allowed him to be himself with him; and isn't that what a good relationship is all about? To be able to be true to yourself when you're with the other person. (And we could go into some psychological stuff like it's a sub-conscious desire from Shizuo's childhood days when no one wanted to play with him because of his superhuman strength and so he's happy when someone finally wants to play - that he can finally play. Maybe.)
So yeah. Just because Shizuo's and Izaya's relationship (and yes they do have one, you don't know each other for like 8 almost 9 years since freaking high school and still know each other even after the other has left for another city for a year or so and don't call it a relationship, hatred or not) seems to have reached beyond the point of no return doesn't mean it necessarily is. Every relationship in Durarara has had a turning point, and now at the climax, it's Shizuo and Izaya's turn.
And it's perfect, it's fucking perfect for the two most influential figures in Ikebukuro, the two most dangerous men, the information broker of Shinjuku and the strongest man of Ikebukuro, to finally confront each other - as the events of the city have finally brought them together at the climax of the story - and be able to release all those feelings they've had towards each other - envy, jealousy, resentment, inferiority, anger, frustration, hatred.
And once those feelings are released, what happens? Well, change happens. Once you let go of the old completely, you can start on the new. And Shizuo and Izaya, stagnant as they have been in their relationship, are not an exception. Their story hasn't ended. Because change has happened. It's only just begun.
Because Shizuo, Heiwajima Shizuo who hates himself the most, needs someone who can love him unconditionally. He needs to be able to release all his anger and hatred and violence and seriously try to kill someone for real with his monstrous strength. He needs to become a monster - a real monster - and know that even after he became a monster and tried to kill someone, that someone can still love him. He needs to know someone can accept him even after he's become the thing he's always feared.
And that someone can only be Orihara Izaya. Because Izaya provokes him. Because Izaya encourages Shizuo to use his monstrous strength. Because Izaya is the only one Shizuo will use his full strength on - because Izaya is the only one Shizuo is not afraid of hurting - because Izaya is the one Shizuo hates the most in the world, perhaps even more than himself, and perhaps it even makes Shizuo hate himself less. And because after all that, Izaya (in his novel, the Sunset) accepts Shizuo as human - and Izaya loves humans.
And so, Izaya the one who loves humans the most - is the only one who can love Shizuo, the Monster of Ikebukuro - unconditionally, even after he's shown and been his worst to him. And if there is someone like that - someone who can love him despite him genuinely wanting to kill them at one moment in time - Shizuo might finally be able to love and accept himself.
And so I guess as a Shizaya shipper, the question to ask yourself is: Do you ship them, or believe in their relation(ship)? If you just ship them, then the death match may tear you apart - but you can still enjoy shizaya fanfiction and fanart. But if you believe in Shizaya, then what I've said should bring some light onto things I hope, make things a bit better despite knowing they're going to try to kill each other - because you can still believe in the potential of their relationship.
Because I will watch the death match with a smile on my face, and an open heart. Because I can finally see change.
I love Shizaya. I believe in Shizaya. I have faith in Shizaya - in Shizuo and Izaya and the relationship between them - have for years - and I always will.
