CH-3: Plans, Dresses, and Stress

Soos was at a store counter reading through the list out loud that Mable gave him and it was very impressive 'let's see, we need 50 large round tables, 4 large rectangular tables, and about 500 chairs and…' but he was interrupted buy the Store clerk
'um sir this is a pizzeria, you want the "general events" store across the street' and she pointed towards said store.
'That's what I was trying to tell you Soos' Dipper in his angst tone
Soos looking at Dipper and then Apologised to the clerk
'I'm Sorry Dudes, I'm just a little nervous that's all' he says to the rest of the crew as wiped his head with a dirty cloth
Stan puts an arm on his back 'Soos its fine, good even to be nervous before your wedding'
Ford then had to ask 'were you nervous before your wedding?'
Stan then replied 'nope, not even a little bit' then he took a breath 'it didn't even last a full two months'
'why is that?' Soos and Dipper asked as they were looking at the products in the store
Stanley looking some chairs as he told them about his short lived marriage
'well it started when I was serving jail time in Columbia'

Roughly sometime in the mid 80's

'So what are you willing to wager?' Stanley said as he held his cards in hand
'Levantare media papa' Rico said as he slid a potato on the dish at the center of the table
'Levantare media papa y seis frijoles' Jorge said placed his bets on the plate
Stanley smiled and looked at it 'am I playing with men or boys?' everyone at the looks at him 'if you truly want to be men, you would raise the stakes' and he places all of his meat on the plate (about 2 TBSP) and everyone including the two guards was all 'wow and oh'
Rico looking at his hand 'He terminado' and he placed his cards down and so did two other inmates.
Stanley looking at Jorge 'well are you still in?'
Jorge then Smiled 'Vere tu carne y ultimo de mis otros seis frijoles' and placed the bets on the plate and he spoke in broken English 'now reveal hand' and he showed his four aces 'no what you have?'
Stanley looking at his hand 'well, it all looks like you… GOT FLUSHED!' and he showed a strait flush.
Jorge put his hands on his head and Shouted 'AY CARAMBA!'

Stan now enjoying his well won meal 'sweet, I bet there is at least 300 calories in this meal', as he was finishing his meal two guards approached him 'Senor Pines?' one asked
Stanley looking confused replied in the only thing he knew in Spanish 'si?'
the other guard then spoke 'tienes que venir con nosotros ahora!' and the both of them picked him up by each arm and took him away.
Stan protesting 'what? Oh come on I didn't cheat, that's only for black Jack, and go fish!', as they took him away Rico and Jorge went to what was left in the dish and started to eat it.

Stanley was seated in what he assumed to be the warden's office, both guards were still on either side of him, 'this couldn't be good' he quickly thought to himself but then from a door other than the one he enter in came the warden.
He sat himself down and spoke to the guards 'Dejanos' and the guards left. The Warden then took a two small glasses and a bottle of Columbian wine Dictator and poured them both half a glass and Spoke to him in much better English but had a heavy Columbian accent 'sorry for the measure I took to get you here, Mr. Pines was it?'
Stanley taking a sip of the wine 'yes I am, what's it to yea?'
The Warden then looked through a prison record he had on the desk. 'Well looking through this record Mr. Stanley Pines, you are a swindler, con-artist, professional hustler, and Smuggler'
Stanley was indifferent to the list of crimes, he's already in jail 'yea so what, I'm already in jail'
the Warden then closed the file 'look I'm not going to beat around the bush, I have a daughter that would love start a new life in America, and you could help her get that new life'
Stanley was looking 'ok I'm intrigued'
the warden continued 'here's the deal, I'll get you out of prison within the week and if you marry my daughter, I'll get you two tickets to a State that you're not banned from' he took a sip of the wine 'get my daughter an American citizenship and you can be on your way'
Stanley was shock, finally he had a way out but took another sip 'give that case of wine and you got a deal' and the two of them shook hands.

The week went by in a flash, and Stan eventually met Maria who was easy on the eyes and spoke really good English and all round seemed to be a good lady but Stanley could tell she wasn't interested in him romantically but they both knew that they were their ticket out of there. The ceremony wasn't anything big or fancy at all, heck she only wore a white dress and had nothing but empanadas for the dinner. True to his word the Warden paid for their tickets to Salt lake Utah. After a month or so dealing with immigration Maria was now an American citizen with working vise and everything that she'll need, not to long after that they both went to the local governmental office to file for a divorce. Stanley now loading his vehicle with the last of his possessions, he looked at Maria 'we'll there you go, everything is ready and set up' and he takes his ring off and hands it to her
as she takes it Maria looks at Stan 'I hope you find a better future for yourself'
'me to' Stan said as he closed up his window and drove off

Back to 2014

Soos was now even more nervous than before and was rifling through the sample books of different cloths like a bad comic book.
Stanley then walked up to him 'Soos your marriage is nothing like mine, mine was a Trojan marriage, a façade, false and nothing to really noting. Yours on the other hand is genuine, real and will last a lifetime, certainly past my lifetime.
Everyone had a good chuckle then they saw Wendy walking towards them.
Stanford smiled 'what brings you here?'
Wendy rolled her eyes 'ug it is way to girly to be with them'
'but aren't you a girl?' Robbie asked
Wendy sighed 'yes I am, and I like to do girly thing here and there but even my femininity has its limits' and she looks at the situation of the men 'Besides, I think you guys can use my help' and she takes the sheet of paper from Soos, ok we have a lot of work to do.

The Girls went to the only wedding store in town labeled "Wedding Pains Aren't us", they had everything you would need for a wedding apart from heavy items, long ribbons, bows, flowers, fountains, even an area to make custom wedding baskets and wedding Photographers who were sitting on seats on a self like products, they even had price tags on them.
Mable decided to check out the photographers and looking at the price tags 'let's see $999.99, 1,999.99, and 4,999.99' she then stands in front of them 'ok give your best pitch, starting with you' she points to the least expensive one.
'well… um you get all your pictures taken with this here classical camera' he shows her the camera that looks like it should be in a museum
she looks closely at the film and noticed something off about it 'is that fruit-by-the-foot?'
The photographer looked down in shame 'I can't afford real film'
the next one then cleared his thought 'sit down Gill and see a pro at work… with me not only do you get professional pictures of all your attendance but they will receive a little picture frame with the bride and groom.' He shows her the picture frame and it looked decent enough for something that was made from tin foil, drinking straws and dried macaroni noodles.
Mable then changed her attention to the final and most expensive one by a large margin and he spoke in a very southern accent 'look lill lady I maybe the most expensive but you will get your bang for your buck with me because not only do get the pictures taken with state of the art cameras and studio lights but the bride and groom will get a large portrait of them and all the guests will receive a small album that can also be digitalized for tablets and smartphones plus we have theses smile mints
'Smile mints?' Mable questioned
the photographer smiled 'I'll show you, hey Gill come here I got something for yea'
Gill came 'oh this is ol gills big break and…' the photographer slipped the mint into his mouth and his face contorted till it looked like it was in a permanent smile
'ok, Gill you can sit back down' and gill sat back down with a uncomfortable smile on his face, the photographer looked back to Mable 'so we got a deal?'
Mable a little uneasy by what she saw took a breath 'um let me check with the bride, but it looks likely to be a yes'

It was the next day and Wendy knew she couldn't avoid it, the thing she dreaded the most, Brides maid Dress shopping and worst of all she was the maid of honor witch meant that apart from Melody she would be getting the most attention.
'Ok what do you think of this one?' the fashion store manager asked as melody was standing on the pedestal with a white wedding dress that had vey puffy shoulders and completely covered her upper chest and neck
Mable looking at it 'well, the colour is nice but it seems to be little retro, what do you think melody?'
Melody struggling to breath 'I think the… colour is nice but it's… a little… tight around the neck and… torso'
the Store manager just escorted her back to the change room 'its ok, nobody expects the first one to be the one'
each dress seemed to get more outrageous than the last, one had this big octopus hat thing that was bigger than Melody, according to the Clerk its all the rage in Britain, next was a white drees that covered everything apart from the eyes… seemed a little too middle eastern, another dress looks like it was made from old tie die shirts from the 60's or 70's that Mable didn't seem to mind but Pacifica, Tambry, Melody and even Wendy had to Protest.
Wendy looking through the piles of dresses then asked 'how are the boys doing?'
Tambry then laughed 'they finished a long time ago'
Wendy the shouted 'what do you mean s long time ago!?'
Tamrby then showed a pic of them on her phone 'the only thing they needed to get is some suits and ties and fitting them doesn't take that long' and she check a message 'they are back at the church setting more things up and according to ford they should be done in a hour or two'.
Wendy could only sigh 'man, guys have it easy at least when weddings are concerned'.
After she was done venting she saw a simple dress about Melody's size, strapless, and yet looked like it had a good figure to it. Thinking nothing of it she took it to Melody who was now in an outfit that can only be described as Giant open white umbrella for a skirt and a the bodes that looked like a sail with fishnets tightly clinging tightly around it.
'Hey look what I found' as Wendy showed the dress to melody.
Melody was tiered, she had tried on at least 17 dresses so far and it had taken them at least 5 hours and she didn't want to try on another dress but she knew she had to 'ok, let's get this over with' after spend a good 10 mins in the changing room.
Melody came out and every one was astonished, it looked like it was made to measure. Sure there was some tweaking needed here Mable noted and seeing how happy Melody is, they found it.

Melody wanted the theme of lavender for the bride's maids and green for the groom's men so the Girls went and looked for the right dresses, Pacifica and Mable were looking for some lavender dresses to see if any four are matching or similar enough to each other. As the girls searching, one of the dresses started to float on its own and floated its way over to Mable and started to weep 'always a Bride's maid, never a Bride'.
Before the dress could attack anyone Pacifica took a silver mirror out of her purse 'no! No! We have no time for this' and waved it around the dress until it fell on the ground, Pacifica looked at the mirror and could see the ghost 'ok I'm going to get Dipper so he can get rid of this'
despite what just happened, Mable couldn't help but tease Pacifica 'don't take too long getting him' and she shoots her a wink.
after an hour, Pacifica finally returned, Wendy and Mable just gave each other a knowing nod as Pacifica walked by.