Author's note: Thanks to everyone who decided to follow my story, I am very flattered to say the least! I'm not going to nag too much about reviewing, but I am going to say that since it's my first fanfic, it would be very much appreciated. Enjoy!
Chapter 3
The following day, Hermione woke up in Grimmauld Place 12 feeling a little embarrassed. She could now not for the life of her understand what possessed her to focus her attention on Severus Snape – her former professor – in the way that she had the previous night. At the time, it had seemed like a good idea, to try and rattle him a little with that particular song. On stage, she could act – be – another person and basically say things that she couldn't otherwise. She could show people that she did in fact have a creative outlet other than researching books and improving existing spells, and that felt good.
What she hadn't taken into consideration, was that after her stunt yesterday, she would soon have to face Severus Snape in person, and she wasn't sure how to behave. Or, how he would react to her boldness, for that matter. Maybe he didn't notice, or care, she thought. But as quickly as the thought appeared, it was squashed by another. No way he didn't notice – his eyes followed me like a hawk the entire song. But did that mean anything? She knew he was smart, obviously – he wouldn't have survived Nagini's attack if he hadn't been, for starters. They had come a long way since he was the snarky, "greasy git" who was her Potions professor and she was a young, slightly bucktoothed know-it-all. She would go as far as to say they had become friends. Who would've thought?
And she had come a long way from when she had involuntarily had a girlish crush on him at Hogwarts and especially right after the war. Apparently, she had a weak spot for "bad guys". Even Lucius Malfoy… she pushed that thought aside with a snort to herself. I'm over that now, she thought as she got dressed. Severus was a member of the Order, and she respected and trusted him. She had grown to like his occasional dry humour and snide remarks when someone thought before they spoke on a matter of discussion.
It wasn't exactly love, or even a crush, but she could admit that he was an attractive man. She wanted him to be happy, to move on from the years of being squeezed between Dumbledore and Voldemort. She liked to think that he didn't mind her company either, as they sometimes both sat in the small library reading at night, after meetings. A small part of her suspected their friendship could develop into something more, at least on her part – but he wasn't an easy man to communicate with, especially not on an emotional level.
But after last night...a shiver went through her body. There had been something, hadn't there? She knew she could easily connect with a crowd; she had a brilliant ability to convey emotions to others when onstage. She just hadn't expected any substantial reaction from the men at that particular table. And Severus shouldn't have been surprised; he knew she would be there. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she'd felt that he understood the meaning of her song. Impossible, she thought. He doesn't feel that way about me... and if he did, he'd be hard-pressed to ever admit it.
He would be here this evening, she knew. The Order was meeting tonight. She had disappeared after her performance the night before, as there was no good reason to stay behind. She'd done what she was there to do, namely observe Severus and his companions, so she'd recognize their faces if needed later. Besides, she was not to be seen with, or talk to him. He was semi-undercover, after all. Well, she might as well go get some breakfast and get on with the preparations for tonight.
She opened the door and started down the hallway. She'd almost made it to the stairs when a door opened and a black-clad figured rushed out, almost crashing into her. She let out an "Ow!" in surprise. Severus. Her mind and body froze for a split second. "Granger...I apologize, I didn't see you there" he said. Why was he here now?
She realized to her horror that she was blushing furiously, and straightened up a little. "I...Severus, I didn't know you were here so early. You startled me, that's all". He eyed her with that blank expression which made it impossible to guess what he was thinking. "Yes, I came here last night after meeting Malfoy and the others, it was...late, and most convenient to come here".
He paused, looking a little puzzled. "I wasn't aware you were here as well, otherwise I would have notified you of my arrival". Lies lies, he thought. He had known she'd come here after leaving the club, he had just wanted to avoid her. Last night had been...unsettling, and he had needed the time to compose himself a little. He just wasn't sure how to deal with Ms. Granger right now.
Hermione smiled. "I'm just staying here occasionally, when I have errands and things to do in town, it's just easier to stay here than to go back to my flat, but of course you know that, and you don't have to notify me or anyone else to come by here, you know..." Hermione finished lamely, realizing she was rambling. Severus made the tiniest of smirks, knowing she had the habit of talking too much, too fast – particularly when she was nervous or feeling out of place. It pleased him that she wasn't as composed as she normally was, and he knew the more nervous she was, the less the chance she'd notice that he was feeling awkward as well.
"That might be so, Hermione", emphasizing her first name as he usually called her Granger, "but it would have been the polite thing to do, ...especially after last night" he drawled. She flinched slightly, but went on to pretend as if she didn't hear the last words. "Well then", she cleared her throat, "I should go, I have some things to do before the meeting tonight". She turned to go and made it to the stairs when she heard him say "Granger? Last night, you really sang well. I quite enjoyed it". She stopped for a second and without turning, murmured a "thank you" before running down the stairs and out of the house, leaving a rather confused, yet amused Severus Snape behind her.
Several hours passed before Hermione walked through the doors at Grimmauld Place. Her errands had not taken that much time, but she had felt the need to be alone for a while before meeting Severus again. She felt embarrassed about the rather childish way she had handled meeting him earlier. Honestly, she should be used to him trying to put people on the spot like that, she had known him for quite some time now, after all. It had just been so unexpected. She had thought that he would ignore last night altogether, and instead he had...what, exactly? Insinuated something? Or had he just meant to be polite? She couldn't figure out what he had intended with his comments. The whole situation was even harder because she wasn't really sure what she felt about the man. Not to mention the fact that they had a rather long and...complicated past.
While walking around in a park, surrounded by other people, she had finally managed to process the events of the last 24 hours, and come to a decision: She would not be intimidated by Severus – whatever he thought about her or acted around her, she would stand for her actions, and have no regrets for her behaviour. Because, she rationalised, she was a grown, confidant woman and she was certainly no longer his student. If she found him attractive and enjoyed being with him, there really was nothing he could do about that. He could choose to keep her at a lengths distance, or he could approach her. She'd decided to leave it up to fate from now on. Part of her had admitted that she wanted him, but another part of her seriously questioned her sanity. Either way, she knew that the chances of Severus wanting to be with her in any way except as a friend and colleague were slim. Whatever happens now, she thought, it's ok. I'll manage either way.
