TROUBLE
Part III
Three weeks later, I really was in trouble. We finally spoke. I was leaving the library and she was on her way in (hardly a shock) at the exact same time. We collided. Oh, bugger. Her delicate little face nearly smashed itself upon my chest piece and I (only mentioned this due to the privacy of this memoir) sort of squealed like a little girl. Small things crashing against one's self had that effect. At any rate, I lost it and she jumped back after feeling herself hit me. Her chin snapped up from the far off gaze that had her as mindless as I was and she looked at me, startled. The cowl slid off of her head. For a moment I was absolutely captivated by the way her moon-pale hair was woven into plaits that wrapped around her head like a halo of hair. She was glorious, taken aback or not. Shortly after, I noticed her face and the bemused expression that had been plastered across it it as I took the time to admire her follicles. Mother had always told me to not stare, but she hadn't really taught me how to do otherwise. So I was at a loss, see.
"You're Cullen, yeah?"
I nodded, cleared my throat, and looked away. She bloody well knew my name! How did that happen? My cheeks were scarlet and my voice, higher in pitch than it had been prior to puberty. Peripheral vision let me know she was quirking an elegantly arched brow at me, which rode atop those eyes, the ones that had haunted me for years and were approximately that close to me. Bugger.
"I, ah," she continued, pausing as she folded slender arms over her chest, "I've been meaning to talk to you, actually. Just hadn't the chance."
"O-oh?" Damn, blighted stuttering! I'd never make it to Knight-Commander if I didn't get that in control! I cleared my throat. Again.
"Should we…" She paused again and motioned between the two of us. "…move out of the doorway, perhaps?"
Crimson. I was as red as the sash around my waist but playing it off oh-so-casual. I stumbled over my own metal-coated feet as I attempted to side step into the hallway. She smelled of fragrant magnolias. It was bloody fantastic. "W-wh-what did you…want to…to, ah…" Stab me in the heart with a saber! "…t-talk about?" My hand flew to the back of my neck. Dreadful bad habit. I forced a mortified smile. She smiled in return, likely as one would smile upon a vagrant or mad man, those with intentions that were unclear.
"I heard that you're from Denerim?" She looked curious and I was immediately terrified that it was a set-up.
"I, er…"
"I'm from there too, you see."
"…a…ah…"
Her lips spread and without an ounce of glib. Andraste's blessings to her for being kind enough to not laugh in my face. Really. All the training I could go through would never prepare me for the weakness that was a crush. Not that I had one, of course.
"I was hoping, if it isn't too much of a bother, that I could see if you knew my family." Her teeth played over her bottom lip, yet another thing I failed to not notice, and the expression on her face weakened. "I don't hear from them often. And I was just hoping…" I was a little late on recognizing the look on her face as hopeful and in want of a reply. I certainly missed my opportunity to reassure her that I wanted to help. She frowned and drew away from me, which caused me to instinctively take a step forward.
"I…I'm sorry," I stammered. My hand flew up between us as if asking her to halt due to failing words. I had to get it together. "I, um, I know them. H-her, I mean. Yes. Your…m-mother. She knows my mother. So I, ah, I ahm...I know...them...?"
Her eyes searched my face hopefully, as if attempting to read my honesty, then traveled down to the emblem on my chest before flickering back up to my face. She looked delighted, that much was for sure. "Really? That is...excellent news, it is! Is she well?"
I nodded in return, opened my mouth to say something, and had nothing. So I nodded again, just to cover my bases.
Now, most would have been shocked at her behavior from that point going forward. Her arms wrapped around her own chest tighter and she looked off, her lips a whisper of a smile. Mages generally didn't keep warm and fuzzy feelings for the family members on the outside who didn't keep touch. Considering the circumstances and all, they held understandable grudges. It was rare for one to actually understand that after some time, broken and censored communication became so insignificant that it generally stopped completely. She was none of those things. I wished I had so much more to tell her and immediately decided that I would have to get messages from them to pass on or, who knows, possibly even have my mother orchestrate a peaceful reunion! Anything to deserve to see such pure happiness again.
When she looked back to me, her hand found my elbow and she gave it a soft touch. "Thank you."
I knew I let my gaze linger on her's far too long. It was highly inappropriate for a person of the Order to think anything at all about the mages we protected, better yet harbor any sort of emotion that would make us vulnerable to them. Human nature was one thing, sure, but butterflies in the stomach were a hindrance. That's why I decided right then and there that it was time for me to take my leave. Once my mouth decided to work again, I forced out a quick and sans-stutter "You're welcome" as I quickly excused myself.
I could feel her gaze upon my back as I left her and I knew she had to think of me as a complete and utter fool. Because of this, I was surprised to find a note hiding for me the very next day. It was crammed in the fist of a suit of armor standing by my favorite corridor post. Hard to miss. It had my name scrawled along the end and underlined perhaps twenty-nine times. My surprise was unimaginable when I opened it and realized it was from her, written in this lovely, loopy script that was as light and free as she was.
Templar C-
If you get the chance, please ask your Mum to tell my Mum that I am well? I don't want to make her uncomfortable with contact that she might not be prepared for but I would appreciate it. Please don't worry if you cannot. I understand. Feel free to claim that you did so you can have all of the glory without any of the annoying 'won't she just leave me be already' work. I jest! But don't feel obligated to do this for me if you can't or shouldn't.
Signed, Elora
P.S. By the by, you needn't be so timid. I'm no one, really.
