A/N: Becky's chapter! Hope you enjoy. :3
Those three words. The words that had come to tear my hearts in four. Three words, three syllables and eight letters. Such a small physical appearance, yet they held such monumental meaning to both me and her. I felt a biting chill as they left my lips. I could see my soul in those words, a bluish-white stream flowing through the cold air as they travelled to her ear. Nobody else could see it, but I knew that I was turning over my hearts to her as I said them. It was foolish of me. I shouldn't have let myself be so weak. It was just going to make it harder. But I had to let her know, I had to make sure she knew that I loved her, no matter what the end of the day would look like.
I let those words fall. It was simple science. The sound waves would travel through the air, and would hit her eardrum, and her brain would interpret the vibrations. But they would still break me down. Sound could make you feel so much. It could bring overwhelming happiness, it could bring the most terrible down of a lifetime... well these ones, they were bringing near unbearable heartbreak. I felt my eyes sting with tears as I left her side to stand with Donna in front of the TARDIS.
I knew it was time to go. I had to face the truth with all the strength I could muster. I must have known that this would happen from the very start. It always did. I always lost the ones I loved. I had just chosen to ignore it, and hoped the problem would go away. But it didn't. Standing here on this beach in Norway for the second time was enough proof of that. For the first time in my life, running away didn't help.
I dug my hands ever deeper into my pockets. Whether it was because the breeze was becoming stronger, and the chill was becoming more unbearable, or whether it was because I was stopping myself from running forward, snaking my hands around Rose's back and never letting her go, I didn't know. Shivers ran down my spine as I stared into her eyes.
'You're leaving me here?'
'I...I've got to,' I replied, barely loud enough for her to hear.
It was like Donna, Jackie and my clone were an audience to us. They just seemed like hazes at the edge of my vision, as my aged eyes stared into Rose's. She was my focus, she was the axis that my world revolved around, and I would spend as much time as I could looking at her, and feeling her presence, before I had to leave and move on.
'I spent so long looking for you...'
'I know...but he needs you now.'
'I need you, I came after you.'
She seemed to be echoing my thoughts. Every inch of my being was screaming that I needed her. But I knew that was selfish. I couldn't let her stay with me and then watch her age as I carried on the same. It wasn't fair. She needed to help the other Doctor.
'He is me. And he needs your help. He's angry and bitter, like I was when I first met you. You were my doctor, and you need to be his now. The only difference between us is that he only has one heart. He's human.'
I saw tears crowding her eyes as she looked to the wind, trying to make them retreat.
I hated having to push her away so that she could spend her life with another me. I envied him. I envied all he had. One heart, a human life, and my Rose Tyler. I hated that we shared the same memories, yet he would be able to build new ones with the one I loved. It was like we had travelled on parallel paths since the beginning, and suddenly I had broken down. I couldn't continue to gain the memories that I had dreamt of. That I dream of. I shed tears for that lost dream now. Ever since Doomsday, I had been failing. It had been a last spit of life that had brought Rose back to me. And now it had gone, and we had to part again.
'If I have to stay, let me have one thing,' she told me.
'What?'
'A proper goodbye.'
I watched her move forward slowly, step by step, closing the gap between us until she was right in front of me, staring up into my eyes. She placed her hand over my pounding, aching heart. We could see each other's tears now. We could both see how this was what neither of us wanted. Neither of us wanted to part ways, but it had to be done.
Her hand moved from my chest to my cheek, wiping away a stray tear with her thumb as our gazes refused to be broken apart. I found myself leaning down towards her, like she was my centre of gravity. I couldn't deny that force that I had always felt towards her. It was then that our lips brushed, so feather light that I hardly felt it. I shut my eyes, causing a tear to tremble down my cheek, and took a breath. I leant forward again, her warm, soft lips meshing with mine as my hands took a gentle hold on her sides.
It felt like she was stealing what remained of my heart, my strength seeping out of me. I knew that this was breaking down the walls we had built to give ourselves a chance of splitting ways, and it would have been wise to have left before, but it also felt like a necessity. Something we needed to be able to have the courage to part. I broke away, gazing tearful eyed into her large hazel pools.
'...Goodbye, Rose Tyler,' I whispered shakily, 'I lo- ... I love you.'
She smiled a sad smile, 'I love you.'
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