Author's Note: Sorry this has taken so long! Originally I'd written most of this from Jonathan's point of view, so I had to go back and write Lizzie's take on the entire thing, and my muse is fickle at best. Also, there's the part where this installment is almost thirteen pages long in Word. Yikes. Good news is that I've got a lot of scattered scenes written for part four, bad news is that while I'm going to try to have it up before New Year's, I'm afraid to make any promises. More good news is that I really want to do a companion piece for this story called And Ignite Your Bones, which would be this time period from Jonathan's point of view, though not all the exact same events. (The first part of his would show what went down between him and Tammy, etc). I've got some of that written as well.
I hope you enjoy this, and I'm sorry it took me so long to post it. Happy Holidays!
Disclaimer: Still don't own anything relating to GL, still don't own Eisley lyrics, still don't want to be sued.
Part Two: I've Taken Things I Had For Granted
June 2009
Lizzie has been friends with Remy for about two years now, and though there's definitely a mutual attraction there they've never acted on it. After all, they became friends while they were still mourning Tammy and Jonathan, and while Lizzie's downward spiral could have easily extended to a one-night stand, his could not. Since then they'd been caught up in very different problems and had been involved with different people, but they still kept tabs on each other.
Then she starts to see him around town more often. They call each other just to talk, and constantly exchange e-mails and texts. Her heart beats a little faster when he smiles at her, and he seems to draw out their encounters more and more.
One day, three months after Jonathan's arrival, Lizzie bumps into Remy at Company. They trade greetings, he inquires after Sarah, she asks how his return to the police force is going.
Just as she's about to say good-bye, he catches her arm. "Hey Lizzie, I was wondering…"
Her heart is definitely racing. "Yes?" she asks hopefully.
"Do you have any plans for Friday?" he asks in a rush. "If you don't, I thought maybe we could go get dinner together or something."
She can't stop herself from beaming. Forget playing hard-to-get. She's been hoping for this for weeks now. "That sounds great," she says.
"Yeah?" Looking relieved, he smiles back. "Pick you up at seven?"
"I'll see you then," she agrees.
She's in a great mood the rest of the week, and downright giddy whenever she thinks of Remy, which happens constantly.
Jonathan's the first to pick up on it. "What's up with you?" he asks while they're waiting for their order at Company. He double-checks Sarah's bib to make sure it's tied tight enough- they've done enough laundry recently, thanks- then looks inquisitively at Lizzie. "You keep staring off into space with this really weird grin on your face. It's kind of freaking me out."
She swats him with a menu, waits until he's done laughing to reply. "Like I'm going to tell you now."
"Did something happen at work? Come on, Lizzie, you have to give me something."
"It's not work," she says airily.
"Well?"
She sighs. As fun as it would be to keep Jonathan guessing, there's no way she can keep quiet much longer. Not that she's going to give him all the details- the longer she can go without mentioning Remy's name, the better. "Fine," she says, pretending reluctance. "I've got a date on Friday."
"Is that all?"
"What do you mean, is that all?"
He laughs. "Lizzie, this isn't exactly new. You've gone out with a bunch of guys, and every time you come home with a whole list of why it was such a big mistake and why they're all wrong for you and blah blah blah."
"A bunch?" she repeats indignantly. "Try, like, two." He gives her a disbelieving look. "Well, okay, maybe more like four or five. Whatever. This time will be different."
"Whatever you say," he says, and their food arrives before she can decide if she wants to pursue the point or not.
Reva and Billy are more encouraging. Reva's attitude isn't such a surprise, since she never wanted Lizzie with Bill to begin with, but Billy had been the biggest supporter of their relationship. She points out as much to him, and he smiles sadly.
"I'm your biggest supporter," he tells her. "If you're happy, then I'm happy too."
Lizzie's still not sure if she'll ever get used to his unconditional love for her, but she's not about to argue.
Reva, as always, is more wary. "What about Ava?" she points out when Lizzie tells her who she's going to be dating.
Lizzie shakes her head. "He and Ava split up before Bill and I did. Trust me, she won't be a problem."
"All right," she says doubtfully. "If you're sure. There's enough bad blood between you two already."
The last person to weigh in, oddly enough, is Bill.
They run into each other at the grocery store the day before her date. Lizzie can't just ignore him, especially since they still work together, so when their eyes meet she goes to him.
"And how are you beautiful ladies doing today?" he asks, tousling Sarah's hair. The toddler smiles prettily at him- no surprise there. She'd always been attached to Bill.
"We're doing just fine," Lizzie replies brightly. "What about you?"
"Oh, I'm all right, just stocking up on some last-minute supplies for the family dinner tonight."
"Oh, fun," she says, and tries not to think that six months ago she would have been shopping with him. "Well, tell everybody I said hi."
"I will," he agrees. That would have been the ideal opportunity for her to leave, but before she can consider it he quickly asks, "What about your family? Jonathan seems to be settling in."
"He is, yeah," she says, shoulders stiffening. Jonathan has always been the topic most likely to spark an argument between them, and old habits die hard.
"Glad to hear it," Bill says, but the words don't quite ring true. "It must be great for Sarah, having both her parents around."
Lizzie nods. "It is." Then, impulsively, she adds, "You should come see her."
"Me?"
"Yes, you," she confirms with a quick laugh. The more she thinks it over, the better she feels about suggesting it. "I mean, you were a major presence in her life for a year. Tammy visits her. You should, too."
"She does? That must be interesting."
She can't help but make a face. Tammy and Jonathan are surprisingly tactful about the breakup, given how spectacularly dramatic past splits always were, but awkward doesn't even begin to describe the atmosphere when those two cross paths unexpectedly. "Well, she usually calls ahead first."
"I'll do the same, then."
"As long as you can stand seeing me," she says, striving for lightness and failing.
"Lizzie," he says softly, "of course I want to see you. We're friends, aren't we?"
She's surprised to realize that it's true. "Yeah, we are," she admits.
He smiles. "So I might as well press my luck- what about this weekend?"
"Well, um, not Friday, because I have a date-"
"Oh yeah?" he asks, too quickly. She knows that he's dated other people, but she can't blame him for the reaction. "Who with, Jonathan?"
"No!" she says, surprised, and laughs. "Remy."
Bill does a double-take. "Remy? As in Remy Boudreau?"
"What's wrong with him?" she asks defensively.
"Nothing, I guess," he says, laughing quickly. "It's just- are you sure he can keep up with you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" she snaps.
"Think about it, Lizzie. Out of everybody in Springfield, Jonathan and I are the only ones who can really, I don't know, be your equal. To be honest, I've just been waiting to hear that you two are together."
She just stares at him. "Well, you know what they say about assume."
"Look, I didn't mean to offend you. I just-"
"I get it," she interrupts. Now is not the time or place for this discussion, especially with Sarah as their captive audience. "It's fine. Whatever."
"Lizzie-" he cajoles.
"It's fine, Bill. I'll call you so we can figure out when you should visit, okay?"
He's obviously reluctant, but says, "All right. Have a good time with Remy."
"I plan to," she says serenely, and strolls away once Bill says farewell to a now-restless Sarah.
Bill's assumption about Jonathan wasn't really a surprise- even when they were dating, he'd always obviously seen Jonathan as a threat to their relationship. But after their conversation, she has to wonder who else sees things Bill's way.
"Oh, well," she mutters. "As long as Remy doesn't we'll be fine." Then she remembers all over again how much Remy and Jonathan dislike each other and groans. "Of course it won't be fine. This is Jonathan we're talking about."
Almost before she knows it, it's Friday evening and Lizzie is taking one last look at her reflection. She gives herself a quick, undeniably nervous smile, then looks over at Roxy, who is sitting on the bed.
"What do you think, sweetie?" Lizzie asks. "Will Remy like it?" He'd suggested dinner at Towers, so Lizzie had on a little black dress she'd bought three weeks ago, black strappy sandals, and gold earrings.
Roxy tilts her head, and her owner sighs and crouches down in front of her, lightly stroking her fur. "I hope so, too," she says, then straightens up and claps her hands. "Come on. You're going to keep Jonathan and Sarah company while I'm on my date, right?" Roxy hops down from the bed and heads out the door, having clearly understood Lizzie's remark. Her owner laughs and follows.
Jonathan is sitting in front of the TV, Sarah on his lap. Both appear to be engrossed in the children's video that's currently playing.
"Jonathan."
He looks over his shoulder, expression startled. "What?"
"I need your professional opinion," she tells him.
"No, you do not need to lose five pounds," he says immediately.
She laughs. "Okay, that's a good start," she comments, walking over to him and doing a slow twirl, arms held out. "Seriously, how do I look?"
His eyes carelessly flick up and down, taking her in. Then he shrugs. "You look fine, I guess."
"Jonathan! Come on, I mean it!"
"Seriously, Lizzie, you look good," he says, laughing. "Calm down. What's the big deal, anyway?"
He is so lucky that she hasn't killed him in his sleep yet. "What's the big deal?" she repeats, eyes narrowing. "I have a date, remember? Remy's taking me to Towers."
"Wait a minute." Jonathan picks Sarah up and sets her in the armchair, then stands up and walks over to Lizzie, pulling her towards the doorway so that Sarah can't overhear them. Even though her heels are ridiculously high, she still has to tilt her head back to meet his eyes, which as always drives her nuts. "Remy? As in-"
"The guy who used to be in love with Tammy?" she asks, resigned. She had been so tempted to just sneak out the front door and keep putting this off, but that wouldn't be fair to Remy or to Jonathan. Better to have it out now and be done with it. "Yes."
"Why? I mean, okay, so you fell for Bill's act. But he's good, even I have to admit that, so I get it. But Remy? He's-"
"You want to know what Remy is, Jonathan?" she snaps. "He's a good guy, Jonathan. He's a good guy, and he likes me and I like him, and we're going on a date, and maybe he'll ask me out again, I don't know. I'm sorry if you don't approve, but you're just going to have to deal with it."
He shook his head. "You could do better."
"He's not-" she begins, but is interrupted by the doorbell.
"Speak of the devil," Jonathan grumbles.
She looks sharply at him. "Be nice."
"Why wouldn't I be," he mutters.
Lizzie rolls her eyes and goes to the door. By the time she opens it, she's traded her annoyed expression for a bright smile. God knows she's had enough practice. "Hi," she says. He's wearing slacks and a dress shirt, and looks amazing.
"Hey," he says softly. "Wow, Lizzie, you look-" He trails off, shakes his head like he can't even find the words.
Her smile widens. "You, too."
But Jonathan has never been one to stay out of the spotlight for long, so it really doesn't surprise her when he walks up behind her. While it's the doorway he leans against, he's so close to her that she can feel his body heat. "So what time are you going to come home?" he asks.
She narrows her eyes at him, unimpressed by the innocent aura he's attempting to radiate. He's not going to go along with this, not even if he knows it'll make her happy. Something is definitely up.
"Well it's really up to Lizzie," Remy says, and she remembers to redirect her attention to him. "Do you have to be back at a certain time to tuck Sarah in, or-"
Lizzie smiles. None of the other guys she's dated since her breakup with Bill have thought to ask anything like that. "I think Jonathan can handle it this once," she says, stepping pointedly on Jonathan's foot just before giving him her sweetest, fakest smile. "Can't you, Jonathan?"
Jonathan's returning smile shows plenty of teeth. "Well, she does have trouble sleeping when you're not here."
"No, Jonathan, that's what happens when you're not here," she says impatiently. "She'll be fine. I wouldn't say that if I wasn't sure, and you know that."
"Okay, okay, chill out," he says with a quick, forced laugh. "Go. Have a good time. Stay out as late as you want. Just don't be too loud when you get back. I don't want you waking me up either."
"That probably won't be a problem, since we should be back by like, what, ten?" Remy looks to Lizzie for confirmation, and after thinking it over she nods. That's plenty of time for dinner and spending time together afterwards. "You don't exactly strike me as the type to go to bed early."
"You never know," Jonathan says, but Lizzie knows it's just to be difficult. He's always still awake when she goes to bed. She rolls her eyes. She can hate people without acting like a petulant five-year-old whenever she's near them. Why can't he?
Beyond tired of dealing with him, she goes over to Sarah, kneeling down in front of the chair. "I'm going to dinner with Remy," she says, catching her daughter's attention. "You remember him, right?" She points to him, and Sarah peeks just long enough for Remy to smile before she shyly twists away. Lizzie hugs her. "So I'll see you in the morning, all right? Be good for Daddy, and eat all your vegetables." Sarah makes a face, and Lizzie laughs and hugs her again. "I love you."
"Love you," Sarah echoes, her little arms tight around Lizzie's neck. All at once Lizzie remembers the dark days she'd spent thinking Sarah was dead, and can't help clutching her daughter to her for a moment. She's still not sure how she survived that year. She probably wouldn't have without Billy, but even with his support it had been a close call.
She forces herself to let go and kisses Sarah's forehead, holding back a sob. "I love you," she whispers again, then goes back over to the men. They both appear unharmed, and she hadn't even heard a word when she was speaking to Sarah. Maybe there's hope for Jonathan yet.
"Make sure she gets to bed on time, and don't-" she tells Jonathan.
"I know," he interrupts. "Trust me, whatever you're about to say, I already know. You kids have fun."
"That's the plan," Remy says. He puts his arm around Lizzie's shoulders as they walk out to the car, and she has to force herself not to look back to see Jonathan's reaction.
Remy's a total gentleman on their date- pulling out her chair, opening doors for her, the whole nine yards. Lizzie makes a mental note to tell Jonathan this during the argument she's sure will take place when she gets home.
Making conversation is easy enough. They've known each other for years, and he's easy to talk to. The only difference tonight is that there are more extra glances and pauses than usual.
Lizzie would have been fine if they'd had their first date someplace more casual, but Remy had suggested Towers and she knew he wanted to impress her. Maybe because she's a Spaulding, maybe because the last guy she dated is rich enough to have his own jet for crying out loud. She doesn't need fancy dates and grand gestures, of course, but she's not going to complain about getting a chance to dress up and eat good food.
"So, Jonathan didn't seem too happy there," Remy comments while they wait for their meals.
Lizzie grimaces. "It's my fault. I didn't feel like listening to him try to talk me out of seeing you, so I didn't tell him about our date until right before you showed up. I'm sorry."
"Believe me, I get it. It's just- are you sure you two aren't…?"
"Why do people keep asking me that?" Some of her frustration spills over in spite of herself. "Jonathan and I live together, and we have a daughter together, and we're friends, but that's it. We both know better than to let anything else happen." She smiles at him. "Besides, there's this really great guy I'm interested in."
"Oh really?" He smiles back. "Anyone I know."
"Maybe," she says coyly. He's just about to reach for her hand when the waiter shows up with their food.
Disappointment flashes through her, but she'd become an expert at shrugging that particular emotion aside long ago. Time for that later, she thinks, and starts eating.
"Remy!"
Lizzie and Remy halt and turn around, waiting for Marina Cooper to catch up. She's with two other men who Lizzie vaguely recognizes as being police officers, though she's never met them personally. She's momentarily surprised that Mallet is not with them, then remembers hearing about a month ago that he and Marina are getting divorced.
"Hey, Remy," the redhead says brightly. "Lizzie." Her tone is notably less enthusiastic at the second greeting.
Lizzie tries not to roll her eyes. She and Marina have learned to get along better during the last few years, but they'll never really be friends. That doesn't bother her- much. "Hi, Marina."
The guys all exchange greetings as well. Remy's smiling, but his hold on Lizzie's hand is a little too tight for comfort. "What's up?" he asks Marina.
"We're going to see that new Matt Damon movie," says the dark-haired man Marina's with. The other, who's shorter and blond, nods. "Want to come with?"
Remy glances at Lizzie. "I don't know," he begins.
"Oh, come on," Marina cajoles. "You were telling me yesterday that you wanted to see it, remember? I bet Lizzie won't mind, will you, Lizzie?"
Lizzie knows she's hoping that Lizzie will protest and look difficult and high-maintenance in the process. And, well, Lizzie can definitely be both of those things, and she has no real desire to see the movie or to spend any time with Marina. But Remy wants to see it, and he had gone to Towers because he thought it would make her happy. Besides, she should learn to get along with Remy's friends now, in case they do start dating regularly. Now is as good a time as any to start.
"It sounds like fun," she says, and her smile widens when Marina does a double-take. "I'll pay for the popcorn."
"Only if I pay for your ticket," Remy returns.
"Deal," she agrees, then turns her smile on the other cops. "I'm sorry for being so rude. I'm Lizzie Spaulding, and you are?"
The group falls into step, making introductions and small talk on their way to the movie theater. Lizzie keeps an eye on Marina all the while, wondering what she's up to.
Spending time with Remy's friends turns out to be surprisingly fun. After the movie they all stand around outside, debating what to do next.
"We could go for drinks at Outskirts," suggests Trevor, the dark-haired cop.
"We could-" Lizzie takes out her cell phone to make sure she hasn't missed any calls, then gasps when she sees that it's almost midnight. "Oh my god, Remy." She holds it out to him so that he can see, too.
"We should get going," he immediately tells the others.
"This early?" asks Charlie.
Lizzie laughs a bit. "Actually, this late. I have a daughter, and I-"
"That'll be you in a few months," Marina teases Trevor.
"Really?" Lizzie asks, and when he nods she adds, "Congratulations!"
"Thanks," he says with a proud grin. "Got any parenting advice for me?"
Jonathan, she immediately thinks, would have plenty. She sometimes wonders if she'll ever know as much as he does, or if missing out on Sarah's infancy means that she'll always be a step behind.
"Just remember that there's nothing more important than your children," she says quietly. "Nothing at all."
Remy squeezes her hand reassuringly. Trevor is clearly unsure how to respond to that. "I don't suppose you have any hand-me-downs you could pass along?" he jokes, and the light response startles her into laughter.
"It was great meeting you both," Lizzie tells him and Charlie.
"You, too," Charlie says, and Trevor nods.
"See you at home," Remy tells Marina. She smiles faintly, then looks at Lizzie. She doesn't seem defensive or annoyed by her presence now. She just looks tired.
Remy and Lizzie head back to where he parked their car. "I'm sorry about that," he says abruptly. "I should've been keeping track of what time it was-"
"Remy, it's all right," she interrupts. "I had a good time, and it's not the end of the world if I'm out this late. Jonathan can handle it. Besides," She smiles up at him, "this way I got to spend more time with you."
"That's a good point," he teases. "You have to make sure you get enough time in my presence. We don't want you going into withdrawal later."
"You're just so considerate," she returns, laughing.
"I know," he agrees
Ten minutes later Lizzie's standing in front of the townhouse, and Remy has just shut her car door behind her.
"I had a really good time," she tells him again. She'd been comfortable around him all evening, but now that it's the end of the date, she's getting nervous.
"Me, too," Remy agrees, looking pretty serious himself. "Lizzie-"
Then the townhouse door swings open, and Jonathan's standing there, hair rumpled as if he'd just woken up. He's outlined by the light from inside, and between his facial expression and his posture she can tell that he's upset.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" Remy asks.
She shakes her head. "Don't worry about it. It's not like he hasn't freaked out over nothing before."
"If you're sure," he says doubtfully.
"I am, but thank you." She leans up and kisses his cheek. "Thanks for tonight, Remy."
He smiles. "I'll call you."
"You'd better."
He squeezes her hand, then glowers at Jonathan before letting go and getting into the car. Lizzie steels herself, then trudges up the steps. Jonathan just stares at her, arms folded tight over his chest.
"Where the hell have you been?" he snarls before she's even at the top step.
She looks at him, eyebrows lifting. "On a date," she says slowly.
"Don't," he warns her. "Do you even know what time it is? It's past midnight! You were supposed to be here by ten!"
"So I guessed wrong," she says with a shrug. "It's not a big deal, Jonathan." She heads for the door, but he grabs her arm and yanks her back.
"Let go of me!" she demands. She's never been one to put up with his habit of manhandling people, and she's not about to start now.
"Don't go anywhere when I'm talking to you!"
"You're not talking to me, you're just being a jerk and blowing this whole thing way out of proportion," she informs him, and pulls her arm free herself. "If I have to listen to this, I at least want to do it somewhere warm." She pushes past him without waiting for a response, and this time he follows her inside rather than attempting to protest again.
Once the door's shut behind them, though, he gets started again. "What kind of dinner did you have that took you five hours to eat?"
She rolls her eyes. Her heels are starting to kill her feet, but she doesn't want to be any smaller than she has to be right now. She's put up with worse pain for longer, anyway. "Jonathan, my date with Remy is none of your business."
"It is when I'm the one left here with Sarah! What am I supposed to tell her if she wants you and you're out with some-"
"Don't," she snaps, rounding on him. "Don't bring Sarah into this."
"She's already in this. She's your kid! Your love life affects her, too."
Like he needs to tell her that. She huffs in annoyance. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone?" He just glowers, and she throws up her arms. "Fine! We ate dinner, then we ran into a few of Remy's friends from the force and we all ended up going to see a movie together."
"So Remy asked you out, and you ended up spending your date with Marina Cooper? Shouldn't that tell you something?"
"No, because I was the one who told Remy I wanted to go!" she informs him. "I thought it would be fun, and I was right! Tonight was great until you had to ruin everything!"
"Sarah needs-" he begins.
She is so done with hearing him say anything on the subject. "Sarah needs you to grow up! I need to have a social life, Jonathan! I love Sarah, I do, but she can't be my whole life. That's not good for either of us."
"Yeah, okay, so you need to date," he says with a grimace. "You should find some- some guy to be with. Whatever. But Remy?"
"Why not?! He's nice, and he's loyal, and he's been a good friend to me and I'm sure he'd be good with Sarah-"
"Yeah, that's all great- if you're talking about buying a dog. Come on, Lizzie, you can't tell me he makes you feel like-"
"Like what, Jonathan?" she demands.
For a few seconds he doesn't answer at all, just stands there, his eyes searching her face. Her breath catches in her throat as she realizes exactly how close to him she's standing, and she realizes a second too late what's going to happen next.
Jonathan kisses her.
No, phrasing it like that makes it sound too simple, too rational. Nothing about the way he has her hips in a viselike grip, brands her mouth with his, is even remotely sane.
There are a million different reasons that this is a bad idea, but Lizzie blocks them all out and kisses him back without second-guessing herself for even a second. She wraps her arms around his neck, tangles a hand in his hair. She's never been happier that he decided to grow it out again.
He walks her back until she's leaning against the back of the couch, never breaking their feverish kisses. Her head spinning, Lizzie grips his T-shirt, hoping he'll take the hint and pull it off. His hands are at the back of her dress, seeking out her zipper.
It's strange- Lizzie has always spent so much time thinking about Jonathan; cooking up schemes with or against him, debating or compromising, working out living arrangements and then making them work. She has to outsmart him or impress him or help him by turns. But the handful of times that they've kissed- really kissed- her mind goes completely blank.
She's just about to help him unfasten her dress when Jonathan pulls away, taking several steps back. Lizzie begins to reach for him, but then her brain starts working again and she quickly jerks her hand back. They stare at each other, both breathing raggedly.
Lizzie has never been a fan of silence, especially not during the aftermath of huge events. This definitely qualifies. She's broken so many of the rules she'd set for herself when he moved in.
"I- I should-" she stammers, quickly pushing away from the couch. If she stumbles a little on the way to the stairs, Jonathan doesn't comment. "It's late, and- work-"
He nods quickly. "Uh, right, right. Uh… 'night."
She smiles weakly, then, abandoning any pretense of dignity, flees upstairs. She isn't about to risk her brain going on another hiatus and letting anything like- well, that- happen again.
"He's Jonathan, it's Jonathan, it can't happen," she mutters to herself, shutting her bedroom door firmly behind her. Maybe if she says it enough, she can get back to believing it.
