Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanx 4 the reviews! Here is the chapter with summa that hard-core jealousy, courtesy of… Who? Mike Newton? Wolves? GASP!!! The results of Edward's roomies is woven into this special, extra-long chapter!

Chapter Three: Bittersweet Introductions

EPOV

After the 'Emmett/Jasper incident' on the bus, I had rushed Bella off the vehicle and into the building with a rusty 'Camp Meetings, Please Meet Here For First Day Of Camp' sign perched in front as fast as I could without making people skeptical of my humanity.

And then, the moment I entered the decrepit cabin, one of the most disgusting and disturbing odors corrupted my senses. It was rather like skunk, perhaps mixed with a bit of wet dog. And that's what it was, the scent that made me struggle to control my instincts of ripping and snapping, to utterly destroy the source of the smell. Dog.

Werewolves.

The whole Quileute pack was there, gathered in a circle around an empty brick fire pit, wrinkling up their noses and turning to glare incredulously at me. Jacob seemed especially unhappy to see me.

"What the hell are you doing here, leech?" I hated Jacob indefinitely.

"I could ask the same thing, mutt." I replied in equally disgusted tones. He huffed defiantly, but then saw Bella standing next to me. She waved, and he immediately brightened and smiled at her. I tightened my arm around her waist protectively. He noticed, and started glaring at me again.

I could hear all of the explicit and envious thoughts swirling around his head. He was about to make some sort of smart aleck retort, when someone else burst into the musty room.

"Attention, all campers on deck! Over!" A short, squat woman of about 40 wearing a tattered old apron and chef's hat yapped in a commanding tone. Her lank, dirty blond but- going-gray hair was pushed sloppily up into a messy bun poking out from under the hat. I was strongly reminded of an extremely irate Yorkshire Terrier I had once seen in a pet shop window. Immediately, employees and campers began pouring in through the double doors, apparently anxious not to upset the Yorkshire Terrier woman. And with good reason. Her thoughts might have made me think that WorldWar3 had just been set in motion.

I saw my family, who then spotted me, and swiftly came to join Bella and I. Bella and Alice started discussing the problems of having werewolves at this camp. Jasper looked ready to cry, if that were possible.

"They confisticated my trumpet!" Jasper whined, "And the helmet, too…"

I chuckled, earning myself a dark glance from him and a surge of fear. This is nothing to laugh about, Edward! Now Emmett has the upper hand in the bet! I have nothing to work with! Shame! Shame! I will have lost myself a good 3000 dollars!

I shook my head and just laughed harder. "These bets will be the death of you, dear brother. You actually bet $3000?" He glowered at me, but suddenly, I wasn't paying attention to him.

A screeching sound could be heard outside. It was loud enough that even the humans heard it, and bewilderedly turned their attention to the sound, gathering at the windows for a better look. I could see fine from here.

A certain someone was skidding to a casual halt on top of a sleek, red Harley-Davidson (A/N: I know nothing of motorbikes, so forgive me if it sounds weird.). I couldn't tell who it was, as they were completely covered by leather and a black riding helmet. People were holding their breaths incredulously and curiously, even Yorkshire woman, as the figure parked his bike and kicked off of it in a casual and unruly manner.

The person approached the doors, striding confidently and defiantly, before finally bursting the doors open with a blasé shove, and removing his helmet in the process.

As I took in the grand and utterly overt entrance this disturbingly familiar stranger had made, I couldn't help but notice the blond hair, the carefully gelled up spikes…

Wait a minute.

"Newton." I hissed venomously.

Oh, dear.

"Cullen." He acknowledged me in a cool and aloof manner, but his thoughts gave him away; he was so scared he was on the verge of peeing himself, and he was repeatedly damning himself in his head for what he was going to attempt to do.

I narrowed my eyes in challenge. But before I could get some good old, Newton ass-kicking, humiliating done, Yorkshire lady called us all to attention.

"Attention! Front and center, campers! Gather in a circle, and sit!" She barked authoritively, swinging a spatula around dangerously.

Glaring at Mike, my family and I obliged, squeezing ourselves into the steadily forming ring of hormonal teenagers. I leaned into Bella, softly nuzzling her neck, hearing her pulse quicken. It was pure poetry. Especially with the added bonus of Mike and Jacob's seething thoughts in the background.

"Alrighty, let's chop chop, people. My name is Ms. Yapp, and I am your camp counselor and head chef." Hmm… Ms. Yapp. How fitting. "Now, the reason you have gathered in this circle, is to make introductions fast and painless. You are to state your name, the reason you are here, and an interesting fact about yourself. Are we clear?!" She yapped.

"Sir, yes sir!" Oh, no. Jasper had been in the army when he'd been human; I guess the knee-jerk reactions never really wore off. He had leaped up and given Ms. Yapp a thoroughly sincere and amazingly professional salute, before sitting back down again in silence.

"Salutations, private!" (A/N: I don't really know how they talked in the army back then, or even now, so…) Ms. Yapp acknowledged him, impressed. "Now… we'll start with… you! Up and over, private!" She was pointing directly at…me.

I nodded in acknowledgement, and began. "Well, I am Edward Cullen, the reason I am here is because my parents forced me to, and an interesting thing about me is," I'm a vampire. Ah, sarcasm. "I enjoy playing the piano." Yapp nodded, and then turned her gaze to Bella, who, of course, blushed crimson.

"I, uh, I am B-bella Swan, and I am here because… I um, am… and an interesting thing about me is… um… I hate snow." Not very original, and yet, in her way it was. How I loved my Bella.

It continued on like this, Ms. Yapp choosing her victims one by one to interrogate from the circle. It turned out, most people had either been forced by their parents, or forced by their friends to come here. There was a total of three people here who seemed actually happy to be here. A few of the more… interesting, interesting things about some people included a boy who was afraid of Tabasco Hot Sauce, and a pair of giggling twin girls who said they immensely enjoyed collecting toenails. EW.

Newton had somehow settled himself between Jacob and a wolf named Jared, I do believe, and we all waited patiently for him to tell us his reasons for coming here. Why was he here, anyways? I for one would like to know. He started, "Well, then. I'm Mike Newton and I'm here to meet the girl of my dreams! I am determined to claim my prize!"

Oh my God. Who did he think he was? Bella was not a prize to be won! I felt utter and undying loathing for the petty human boy.

My hate was only amplified, when Jacob came next, speaking with his obstinate and, in my opinion, utterly unbearable confidence and overtly swelled ego. "I'm Jacob Black, here because, well…" - he glanced at Sam, who shrugged - "my friend here's fiancée made us…and an interesting fact about me is that I build cars."

The other wolves' all had different names… Embry, Quil…etc., but the same reasons for being here. Apparently, that Emily girl got fed up with the boys' appetites and decided to send them here so they could learn some useful skills and save her some stress. Their interests mainly included cliff-diving, eating, and sleeping. Talk about dramatic.

Rosalie came next, absently speaking while trying to ignore the lustful glances of every human male in the room, "I am Rosalie Hale, here because I was forced, and I enjoy attention." I snorted. Of course. Well, Rose. According to the thoughts of all the human males in this room, any one of them would simply die for a chance to give you some 'attention'…

Emmett seemed to notice all the hungry looks his wife was attracting, and promptly slid his hand around her waist before glaring at all the male offenders in turn, before retorting, "I'm Emmett. Emmett Cullen. I'm here because my parents shoved me into it. I immensely enjoy kicking the asses of guys dumb enough to ogle at my woman." And then he grinned menacingly, causing a lot of cold sweats to break out and a lot of nervous gulping.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I'm Jasper Hale. I'm here because my parents enrolled me against my will. I am sorely disappointed that the camp administrators had to take away my trumpet." He drawled in a monotone as Alice elbowed him irately at the mention of his and Emmett's bet.

Once Alice had the hypothetical spotlight shining in her face, she couldn't help but smile widely, dazzling everyone in a three foot range. She giggled, "I'm Alice Cullen, who is here today because I was unwillingly forced, and I have a passion for all things fashion! Not to mention makeovers and yellow Italian sports cars!" She squealed happily and clapped her little hands together.

At last, THANK GOD!, the "quick and painless" introductions were over. Ms. Yapp then explained to us that we would be sleeping (Well, most people would be sleeping) in separate cabins with two other people. No boys and girls in the same cabin. That made me sad, no Bella…

We didn't get to choose our roommates. I dreaded the prospect of having to spend any long amount of time near a hormonal teenage boy, in this case, two, and have to pretend to be 'normal' and 'human'. The smell of that disgusting 'Axe' stuff burned my nostrils almost as bad as werewolf reek. I remembered the time when Emmett had once brung a bottle home, convinced it would make the house small good. It didn't. The house stunk for weeks.

"Cullen, Edward!" I snapped my head up when my name was called by Ms. Yapp. She beckoned me over.

"Bye, love." I parted with Bella gloomily.

"Bye. See you soon? Outside a certain someone's window?"

I smiled. "Probably, but you never know." And with a final stroke of her soft, warm cheek, I stood up and sauntered over to Ms. Yapp to receive my cabin and roommate assignments.

"Mr. Cullen, you shall be assigned cabin B6, and roomed with Mr. Michael Newton and Mr. Jacob Black." She told me in her yappish tone, handing me a slip with all the essential information.

My jaw dropped, and time froze. The small, green slip of paper fluttered noiselessly to the ground.

(A/N: I thought about stopping here, but I didn't.)

Silence engulfed the majority of the room, a few, oblivious clusters of humans chatted idly in the unnatural stillness.

My jaw was still on the floor, my mind going blank with shock and disgust. Ms. Yapp turned away from me and began doling out other people's assignments.

The Quileute wolf pack was thinking sympathetic, although not exactly helpful thoughts.

OH MY GOD!!! I'M PAIRED WITH A BLOODSUCKER! AND CULLEN, NO LESS! Breath, Jacob, breath…

Poor Jacob…

Ugh…now I'm glad I was paired with strangers…

Gross, how will he be able to fall asleep with the smell?

I hope they don't murder each other in bed…oops…Cullen can't sleep…

Sigh. This was awkward. My family was horrified, but also quite amused.

As long as you keep yourself in check, Edward, this could get quite interesting…Alice thought to me in giggles.

I was suddenly hit by one of Alice's visions,

It was dark, early morning, but there was little light in the pale orange and pink sky. I sat on the porch of my cabin, escaping the awful dog-stench as best I could.

Suddenly, a dark shadow flashed past the pine trees just about ten yards away.

It was gone as soon as it appeared. I rose warily, scanning the woods for any signs of danger. I saw none, and just as I let my guard down…

The something huge and dark crashed into me, knocking me to the ground.

I rose my eyebrows in revelation. That didn't look too good. I wasn't going outside tonight, that's for sure. The vision immediately cleared. Good.

"Off to your cabins, people! Chop chop! Get unpacked and ready for bed, tomorrow is your first day of cooking!" Yapped Ms. Yapp.

"Well," I grunted irritably to a sulking Jacob and a solemn Newton through my clenched teeth, "We had better get to cabin B6." I roughly grabbed my lone duffle bag, slinging it over my shoulder with ease. I swiftly bent down to reclaim the small green slip from the floor, and studied the crude map drawn onto it. I wordlessly exited the Meeting Building, without looking back to see if they were following me. Of course, I could tell that they were; their heartbeats and thoughts were far more than enough to convince me that they were just a few feet behind me.

We passed Bella and her roommates. She had all the luck in the world; Rose and Alice were her partners. She warned me to be careful and keep in check with a glance towards me. Lucky.

Jasper and Emmett were paired together, along with the boy who'd been HotSauceophobic. I rolled my eyes. Jasper felt my emotions, and grinned devilishly.

Jealous, now are we, Edward? Have fun with your roomies… I growled too low for anyone else but him as he and his partners turned off the main trail and into a shabby old cabin labeled C9.

At the very end of the forested culdesac of cabins, which most humans were now dispersing into, dragging their luggage, was a small and ugly little shack that had a rusted old license plate nailed onto the door. Cabin B6. Oh, wonderful.

I swiftly dragged my duffle bag onto the grimy porch and pushed the door open. I had to be extra careful, as the door seemed so excessively old and frail. I coughed as dust was blown up into my face by a stray breeze. I noticed the windows were dirt-encrusted and cracked in various places. The shutters were rotting pitifully.

When I finally entered the old cabin, it seemed even uglier on the inside than the outside. There were three cot-like beds, jammed in a corner by a crumbly fireplace. The walls smelled old and on the verge of starting to decompose. A faded rug was spread out, covering most of the hard-wooden floor. There was a small coffee table pushed up against the east wall, three knotted stools surrounding it. Everything was covered in dust, and spider webs swathed every available corner and cranny.

It seemed a fitting haunt for one vampire, one werewolf, and scrawny human boy.

"Well, I'd say this place has seen better days." I froze in surprise. Jacob had managed to sneak up on me and take a look at the decrepit old shack from behind me. He wrinkled his nose and shook infinitesimally at our close proximity as he made his evaluation.

Mike looked rather dismayed at the dilapidated hut we were to spend the next three weeks in together, but he hid his feelings well.

We shoved our luggage into a dust corner and set to work on attempting to rehabilitate the cabin. I easily moved the beds so they were each at a separate corner of the cabin, allowing as little space as possible between us. Jacob set to arranging the coffee table and stools in an appropriate spot, while Newton was left to do the dusting and cobweb onslaught. Jacob and I were done in a matter of minutes, and we sat having a glaring contest while Newton worked feverishly, wiping up dust, attacking cobwebs, and sneezing.

By the time it was about 8:00 PM, Newton was done and had collapsed on his bed in exhaustion. I won the staring contest. Being a vampire had its perks, occasionally; we had no need to blink, but we did anyways. Jacob's now-tired eyes began closing, and after a while, he announced he was beat, too.

"Have a nice sleep, leech."

"Ha ha. Go to your doghouse in hell, mutt." I turned away from him and plopped onto my own cot, laying down and feigning sleep in aggravation.

He growled provocatively, but I ignored it. He too, fell asleep after a few minutes.

The hours passed slowly. I never moved from my spot on my cot, and soon, I got bored.

Sighing and sitting up quietly, I stared wistfully out the cracked and dirty window.

Well, I had told Bella I would probably be able to go check up on her. Why not? I silently slipped out from under the stiff sheets and stole quickly and quietly out the front door.

The darkness was comforting, and the crisp night air instantly cleared my senses of dog and Newton. I ran towards cabin A5, where I could pinpoint Bella's intoxicating freesia aroma. Crouching beneath her really scummy and cracked window, I listened to her heartbeat and breathing. It soothed me, and I sat there for a few minutes in bliss.

Abruptly, something rock-hard and cold smacked cruelly onto my head.

"Ouch! What the…" I didn't finish my sentence as I looked up to see Alice and Rosalie narrowing their eyes and leering down at me.

"What in the world are you doing here?!" Hissed Rosalie, "It's the middle of the night!"

"Stalkerish tendencies and obsessive behavior have not been deemed healthy, Edward." Alice reprimanded in a whisper. "Perhaps if you came earlier, you would have had more luck. Bella is asleep now, and you shan't wake her up."

"I wasn't planning to!" I protested quietly, acutely aware of Bella's sleeping status.

Alice sighed. "Go back to B6, Romeo. Crouching under your Juliet's window will get you nowhere." Rosalie laughed silently.

I sighed. I could see their point. Sulkily, I rose and shuffled back towards my cabin, aware of the piercing stares I could feel boring into my back as I retreated.

Whee! Another chapter done! Hope you liked it, and thanks for voting on who Edward's roomies were. I apologize to all of you who would have preferred Emmett and Jazz, but don't worry; they'll have their fair share of the mischief, in due time.

Review, you know you want to…

VeggieVamp

Preview of the next chapter:

Suddenly, Edward began coughing. He lurched over and began retching horribly.

Emmett watched in sad silence. He turned to me, as I watched my true love gag on the floor. "Do you know what actually happens?"

I was stunned into silence, so I nodded fearfully. " Isn't there anything we can do?" I knew there wasn't, and that Edward would be OK, but I still hated seeing him an any kind of pain.

"Well…" Emmett began explaining to me the dynamics of what happens when a vampire gets indigestion, or, in other words, whenever they eat human food.

Ooh, bet you've never seen a vampire get indigestion before, huh?