Hey people, how've you all been? It's been a while since the last update (two months... oops T.T), and the reason for that is that college is, in fact, a bitch. So are my exams and my retakes. I have another retake next Thursday, and I have trouble concentrating lately. Not good.
Anyway, I didn't want to keep this from you any longer. My beta, Sinful-Metaphor, is busy at the moment and because of that, this chapter has not yet been checked for mistakes yet. I'll upload the final version of this chapter when it's done, but I really felt like I needed to upload this. My apologies to Sinful-Metaphor. And to all of you, who had to wait for so long.
Disclaimer: I own the plot and that's it.
Rated for violence and lemon in later chapters.
Edit: Sinful-Metaphor has betad the chapter, and proven that betas really are worth their weight in gold xD Thank you so much!
When Riku entered the detention room the next day, Axel wasn't there yet. That disappointed him a little, since the redhead usually arrived first and Riku hadn't seen him all day; they only shared Physics on Tuesday and that class had been cancelled. Besides, Riku really wanted to see Axel, although he didn't really know why…
Riku dropped his bag in a corner and sat down next to it. He closed his eyes, listening to the soft ticking of the clock. With silence all around him, he could think. He hadn't managed to get his earlier conversation with the redhead out of his head yet, the one about the other boy being a murderer. He wanted to know what had happened, he wanted to know the whole story, and Axel was the only one who could tell him. Riku didn't want to force him, however. Axel had to tell him about it when he was ready, but how much longer would that take?
The guy broke down easily enough as it was. Riku surely didn't want to make it worse.
It was so warm and quiet in the room, and Riku eventually fell asleep. When he woke up, it was almost time to go home, and Axel still wasn't there. The teen started to wonder if his friend had ever made it to school that day. Maybe he had a fever or something and hadn't left the house at all…
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Riku made a decision. He stood up, grabbed his bag, and left.
}:{
It took him some time to find the address, but now Riku was finally standing in front of Axel's house.
It was a large house, with large windows to go with it. It was quiet, as if no one was home, and Riku hesitated. Axel had to be home. Where else could he be, seeing as he hadn't come to school? What also made Riku slightly nervous was the possibility that not his redheaded friend, but the boy's mother would open the door. What would he say then? On the other hand, it wasn't forbidden to visit a friend, right?
Riku took a deep breath, and walked to the door. After another deep breath, he rang the doorbell. Nothing happened. He tried it again. There came no response.
"Axel?" Riku cried. Still nothing. So, did this mean he really wasn't home?
"Axel? Are you there?" There was nothing to be heard. The house was quiet.
A little dazed, the silverhead walked away. To his surprise, though, he had only taken a few steps when the door finally opened. Riku turned around instantly, and gasped.
"Stop looking at me like that! Come in!" Axel hissed. Riku quickly did as he was told, so his friend could close the door. His movements were rushed, agitated…
When Axel turned around, he saw that Riku was staring at him. He sighed.
"My old man was drunk, and I was being the rebellious teenage son who refused to do as he was told. That's what happened," he said, curtly. Riku slowly nodded, still looking at Axel's face. It was beaten black and blue. No wonder he hadn't showed up at school.
"Riku!" Riku jumped at the somewhat irritated tone in the other's voice.
"What?"
"Stop staring!" Riku blushed a little, quickly looking away.
"Sorry. Ehm…" He didn't know what to say next. Seeing how agitated Axel was, he wondered if stopping by was ever a good idea at all.
"Look, if you don't want me to be here, that's fine, really. If you want me to go…" he started.
"No!" Axel suddenly shouted, confusing Riku even more, "Please… stay." he added.
His voice was trembling beyond control, reduced to little more than a whisper. He looked up, his bright green eyes looking straight into Riku's.
"Riku, I'm going crazy in here! I can't go outside! If anyone sees me like this, I'm in big trouble." A pause. "I don't want to be alone… My parents and brothers are all at work now. So no one would know if you stayed here for a while! So, could you please stay?"
Unnerved by the desperate plea, Riku nodded. He could see it made Axel happy. Very happy.
"Thanks," the other boy said. He then turned around, seemingly hesitating "Eh… would you like to come upstairs? I don't like it down here. I feel much safer in my own room." The shy smile that came with those words made Riku smile too. He dropped his bag and followed Axel to what appeared to be his room.
Axel's room was small, and painted white. It looked like the redhead had decorated the walls by writing on them with markers in different colors. One wall was still empty though. Riku noticed how cleaned up the room was, as well. Not that he was such a grub, but it never looked this tidy.
"Nice room you have," the silver haired teen said, casually. Axel chuckled.
"Glad to hear that," he said.
He walked to the bed and sat down. Riku joined him.
Silence. Now that he was actually there, with his friend next to him, Riku didn't really know what to say. He hadn't really thought this through, since he figured that seeing if the redhead was even home would be enough for the time being. He hadn't thought beyond that; he hadn't thought of what he wanted to talk about. Well, of course he wanted wanted to know more about Axel's brother, but he had already decided that that was a no-go topic until Axel decided otherwise.
"So…" Axel said then, "I guess you want to hear it. About my brother." Riku froze. Had the guy just read his mind or something? He would never expect Axel to be ready so soon…
"Well… yeah, but…" he stuttered, eventually, "… but if you don't want to talk…"
"Riku!" Axel interrupted him. Riku fell silent. The tone of Axel's voice… there was no arguing with it.
"I want to tell you. You are my friend, Riku, you have the right to know!"
Now, Riku certainly didn't agree with that, but his friend just kept talking.
"I've kept this to myself for three years, and it's eating me up! I never had someone to talk to. My family has always blamed me, and I've never had any friends. I was alone! It's not just that I want you to know, Riku… it's also that I want to get this… this weight off of me!"
Axel got up, frustrated, and walked over to his closet. Hesitating for a moment, he then opened it and looked at something inside. His shoulders slumped.
Riku waited, but his friend didn't move.
"It's okay," he then said, "You can tell me. I'll listen."
Axel slowly turned around, a single tear falling from his eye.
"I can't even say his name," he whispered. "I fear that his name alone is enough to break me."
He then took something from the closet, closed it, and walked back over to the bed to sit down next to Riku. He was holding a picture frame and held it out for Riku to see it.
It was a nice photo, taken on a bright summer's day if the pool in the background and the sunlight were anything to go by. The photo showed two boys, both with bright red hair and pearly white teeth that they showed by smiling dazzlingly at the camera. They were sitting on a wooden bench, wearing shorts and t-shirts. The older of the two, whose hair was spikier, had his arm lovingly around his brother's shoulders. The younger boy, who wore his hair in a ponytail, leaned against the older boy, with his arm around the other's waist. It really was a beautiful photo. Riku told his friend that.
"It looks nice… very peaceful and happy," he said, "You look alike." he added.
Axel gave him a shaky smile. "We did," he whispered.
Then he swallowed and looked at the picture again.
"His name…" he said, "His name was… Reno."
Riku looked up, only to see how hard his friend tried to keep from crying.
"I won't say his name if you don't want me to," he said, receiving a grateful look. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked. A nod and another smile were his answer. Axel started telling his story.
"My brother was three years younger than me. We were very close, we did everything together. We told each other everything, no matter what it was. If he'd hurt himself, he'd come to me to take care of him. We…" Axel closed his eyes, swallowed, tried again, couldn't get a word out. Riku tried to lay his arm around him, but the other wouldn't let him.
"I'm fine!" he shouted. Riku pulled back.
After a few seconds, Axel continued.
"It was summer. My brother had never been very good at swimming(,)so we went to the river him to practice. We only swam in the shallow part of the river, but my brother was doing very well(,) so I encouraged him to go to deeper water. At first, he didn't want to(,) but I kept pushing him. Eventually, he gave in. I began to swim to the other side then and my brother followed…" Axel's voice faded. His eyes were filled with tears, looking at something Riku couldn't see.
"What happened then?" Riku asked. Axel looked at him.
"We were halfway when my brother said he was tired and wanted to go back. He was afraid of the deep water ahead of us, but I told him there was nothing to be afraid of because I was with him. It would be okay. So we continued our way across the river… He then said he was getting muscle cramps and that he really couldn't swim any further. Still, I didn't want to go back. I said that the cramps would vanish if he just kept swimming. Besides, there was no point in going back, since we had already swum the best part. So we swam. My brother was really tired, but I thought he could make it. I thought that if he really couldn't go any further, I could help him. But one moment, when I turned around to see how he was doing…" Axel's voice cracked. He tried to finish the story, but he couldn't make a sound.
"He was gone?" Riku asked. Axel nodded, taking in a few shuddering breaths.
"I… I tried to find him. I really did. But he was just.. gone." Axel took another deep breath, paused for a few seconds, went on. "They found him the next morning. He was so cold… and pale, and… and…" Now he really broke down. Riku laid his arms around him, trying to calm him down, though Axel barely minded that now…
"Axel," he said, "what you did was stupid, but you didn't kill him. You pushed him too much, but you meant well. Come on, it's okay…" Axel only cried more, shaking his head.
"No! It's my fault, Riku! It's all my fault!" he cried, repeating it over and over until Riku had enough. He grabbed Axel's bony shoulders, and looked into his eyes, willing his friend to stop and listen. Axel calmed down immediately. For a brief moment there, Riku thought he looked absolutely adorable.
Pushing that thought to the very back of his mind, he focused on the moment.
"Axel," he whispered, "you didn't kill him." The redhead didn't believe him. His look was wistful, and his face was wet with tears.
"You're just saying that to make me feel better. You don't mean a word of it. You hate me. I'm a murderer, you know it, and you hate me." Axel said, clearly crossing the line.
Riku grabbed his shoulders even tighter.
"Axel, when are you going to understand? What do I have to do to make you see it? What do I have to do to make you believe me? WHAT?" he yelled. Something in Axel's eyes changed, and it happened so fast that Riku would've missed it if he hadn't been looking into the other's eyes so intently. He could barely hear the redhead when he spoke.
"Kiss me." Axel whispered. It took Riku a minute to understand. He then pushed Axel on his back, hard, and practically threw himself at the redhead, making their lips join in a hard, crazy, and absolutely addicting liplock.
Okay, so I apologize for any mistakes and hope that this chapter was enjoyable.
Thank you all very much for reading.
Reviews make my day, flames just warm my hands. Until next time :3
- A.
