(Featuring the Ninth Doctor, now John Hurt after the amended timeline explained in the last paragraph of chapter 2, his new companion Bibi Si, the Timelords, and James Bond 007. This story occurs between the Doctor Who webisode of the 8th 9th Dr regeneration and the first episode of Eccleston's new series "Rose". It also occurs between the James Bond movies "Die another Day" and "Casino Royale", and explains the timeline discrepancies between those two movies.)

The Ninth Doctor was exploring time and space with his new companion, Swedish model Bibi Si. In a timeline free of Dalek tyranny, he had found time to shave, and enjoy life more on his various stopovers. Bibi was 6 foot 3 and towered over the Doctor, but Romana's first regeneration had malfunctioned several times and taken a while to stabilize (See "Destiny of the Daleks"). As a result, one of her tryout bodies had also been, as the fourth doctor had put it "too tall." This left some unused size tall clothing in the TARDIS wardrobe which suited Bibi perfectly, and the Ninth Doctor had none of his earlier self's critical attitude to her size.

For the first time since the 6th Doctor's early experiences with Mel, he underwent an exercise program instigated by Bibi. He took her to a planet with an abundance of swimming pools, watched her dive in and effortlessly swim back and forth, before he exhausted himself matching the number of laps she did.

On the scenic forests of another planet, they took long bushwalks and hiked up hills and down mountains.

"I hope I can keep up with this," puffed the Doctor.

"With all you've told me about your need to run down corridors, you'll have to," said Bibi.

They finally made it back to the TARDIS.

"You need another swim," said Bibi.

"Fine, but not on that planet. There's still a pool inside the TARDIS if I didn't jettison it late in my fourth life." (The pool was introduced in "The Invasion of Time part 6").

He led Bibi to the pool and did his best to swim laps beside her. Suddenly they heard a noise ringing through the TARDIS.

"It's another call," said the Doctor, "I have to return to Gallifrey. The Timelords must need me."

The Doctor and Bibi dried off, and went back to the console room. The Doctor piloted the TARDIS to Gallifrey and stepped out to greet the Timelords.

"This is my new assistant Bibi Si," he said.

"Would you like us to give you one of the newer model TARDISses with a higher door?" asked the President, noticing Bibi stoop down in order to leave the TARDIS, "Or we could fix the chameleon circuit on yours once and for all, and then we'd like you to do something for us."

"Well I'd hate to carry all my things into a new TARDIS," said the Doctor, "See what you can do with the chameleon circuit."

"Our scientists will work on it while you come to a vital briefing," said the President, "Your assistant can come too, since her help on an earth based assignment will no doubt be beneficial."

When all of them were seated, the president showed them a photograph of a dark haired well dressed earth man.

"The truth is that he is not from earth. It's only just come to our notice that, like you, he fled from our planet in a TARDIS. Like you he fought a number of evil beings and defeated them, but unlike you he confined his movements and adventures to earth. Using pscyhic paper and a hypnotic talent to rival the Master's, he inserted himself into one of earth's intelligence organisations in…. well it's not known exactly when. It might have been as early as 1953 or as late as 1962 by their dating system. He's regenerated several times, and relied on extensive use of hypnotism and psychic paper again to have his change in appearance overlooked without acknowledgement of it. While you involved yourself periodically with UNIT, albeit for a fairly ongoing stay in your third incarnation to meet the conditions of our exile sentence, this Gallifreyan has remained with earth's Great Britain's MI6 organisation for several decades. We need you to bring him back from earth to be dealt with."

"That's like sending me after my first or second self. How could my heart be in that?" asked the Doctor.

"Because he has left behind one female companion after another," said the President.

"So have I, eventually," said the Doctor, "It's the one curse of regeneration. We outlive our human friends and loved ones."

"But you've had veritable seasons of adventures with each companion, and most of yours have left you by their own choice," said the President, "Except for your Granddaughter for reasons you explained, Sarah Jane Smith when we called your fourth self back and that's about it. This Gallifreyan abandons each companion after one adventure and goes looking for the next."

"I see," said the Doctor, "You can stay as long as you like, Bibi. I'd miss you otherwise anyway."

"It's worse than we've so far told you, Doctor," said the President, "Before he discards these companions, he …. I don't know how to put this delicately in front of an earth woman, neither in earth terms nor our own: This Gallifreyan …. fornicates with each companion."

"I believe 'one night stand' is the correct term for it on earth," said the Doctor.

"The concept doesn't exist on our planet, and wasn't supposed to exist on earth either. Our studies of their most ancient writings, bound together in a 66 book omnibus known as the Bible, all show that human beings weren't designed to be used that way and then discarded. Such an act should only occur within the confines of a lifelong marriage. The abandonment issues from doing it in any other context (as tempting as it may seem when initially contemplated) lead to incalculable emotional and spiritual damage. Doctor, one of our own people is on earth, and he's been passing himself off as one of them, and doing this damage to one girl every year or two for more than four of their decades. We're despatching Maxell with a team of his in a TARDIS to meet these companions at the points in history when they were cast off, and give them what hypnotic healing treatment we can, to help them forget what he's done and then move on and live healthy lives in their proper time and place. But we have to stop him from doing it anymore, Doctor."

"How many times has he regenerated?" asked the Doctor.

"By earth dates, he did it once in 1968, again in 1970 when he reverted to his first form for his third life, again in 1972, again in 1986, again in 1993 to the form he holds now. So he's on his 6th life now."

"What Gallifreyan weapons technology can I expect to encounter when I face him?" asked the Doctor.

"None, as far as we know. He wanted to blend in on earth and make use of their own equipment. A man they call Q designs the most advanced earth technology for him, including a car that simulates invisibility, but other than that, it's just guns with bullets. If he gets shot or killed some other way himself, he knows he can regenerate, until he reaches his 13th life of course. For some reason we haven't been able to ascertain from our studies through the time scope, he has not once fornicated with the earth woman who loves him the most, named Miss Moneypenny. Her emotional damage from watching all of his erotic escapades has probably been the worst of all, ironically," said the President.

"Well at least I don't have to face the Master's muscle tissue compression gun, or the bombs the Rani used to turn people into trees," said the Doctor, "But why not bring him back yourself? You did it to me once, TARDIS and all. Where is his TARDIS, by the way?"

"He disguised it as a large wardrobe in his apartment, locked it with the key and never goes into it. We found you because you called for our help near the end of your second life. He doesn't want to be found or helped. Besides that, you have years of familiarity with earth intelligence organisations. Your status as UNIT scientific advisor is still active any time you return to earth and contact them. It's on their database that you change your appearance and assist them when requested. Now they can assist you to get into MI6 and capture the man known on earth as James Bond 007."

"You do realise that you've just blown a secret agent's cover to a Swedish model," said the Doctor.

"UNIT has always allowed you to share the knowledge of your cases with your companions," said the President, "We will assume their willingness to do so with Miss Si. We want you to go to 2003, confide in the current Brigadier head of UNIT, and have them track James Bond's movements until such time as you can intercept him and bring him back to Gallifrey in your TARDIS, not his own. Once we have his key, we'll send Maxell back on one more job to retrieve Bond's TARDIS, and Andred can go with him and bring Maxell's TARDIS back too."

"Andred!" said the Doctor, "Could I see him once that's done?"

"We have not forgotten your erstwhile association with his Severteem wife Leela," said the President, "You may catch up with them as soon as you've brought Bond back and Maxell and Andred have recovered Bond's TARDIS."

The Doctor and Bibi Si materialized right inside UNIT headquarters in 2003. This of course did not go unnoticed by UNIT internal security cameras, and Brigadier Bambera (head of UNIT since the late 1980s and soon to retire) came down and introduced herself to the Doctor's latest self.

"Good to see you again, Bambera," said the Doctor, "I've had two facelifts since then. This is my assistant and health consultant Bibi Si."

"We didn't send for you, Doctor. We don't have any current cases open," said Bambera.

"Actually I need your help, Brigadier, or specifically, I need UNIT's. One of my own people has infiltrated the British Secret Service MI6 organization since 1962. His reprehensible misconduct with countless earth ladies must be stopped. I need your help to track his movements, so that my people can take him into custody without upsetting your country's intelligence network."

"If what you say is true, and you succeed, they'll probably list him as missing and presumed dead," said Bambera.

"Gallifreyan computers have printed this photograph from their time scope," said the Doctor, "This is his current appearance. He has changed it several times, using hypnotism and Gallifreyan technology to cover his tracks."

"Wouldn't it be wiser if I liased with M and brought her into the picture?" said Bambera.

"My dear Brigadier, I had to confide in your predecessor Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart in 1970, because I'd just been stranded on your planet when my TARDIS was immobilized by my own people for a time. I formed a valuable friendship and alliance with UNIT, and you've wisely kept the secret of my existence from earth's other intelligence organisations. I don't think it prudent to spread that knowledge to another of them now."

"Alright Doctor. You helped us a lot against Mordred and his mother in 1989. We were way out of our depth. We'll play this your way and give you all the help we can. We'll have Bond shadowed the moment he leaves MI6 headquarters on his next assignment."

"I think I can help with that," said the Doctor, "all I need is to run a cord from the TARDIS console to one of your computers that's connected to the internet. Then I can hack into MI6's computers using Gallifreyan Coldplough software."

"What's Coldplough?"

"A trojan software program, specifically designed to carve an undetectable path through any firewall or encryption," said the Doctor.

Soon he had news of Bond's next assignment: a routine surveillance job in Germany. Bond was to set up camp in the hills and monitor a castle owned by a man rumoured to be a neo nazi. Once Bond had been removed from earth by the Doctor, UNIT would assign their own operatives to monitor the castle until MI6 logged Bond's disappearance and sent in a replacement 00.

With an accuracy not prevalent in his first few incarnations, the Doctor pilotted the TARDIS to a perfect landing only half a mile up the hill from Bond's tent. Dressed as two hikers (parts that they had both learned to play very convincingly during Bibi's health program), the Doctor and Bibi Si began walking down the hill, and then got into part, arguing audibly about being lost.

Bond naturally heard them and came out of his tent and offered to give them directions. When he saw Bibi, scantily clad to appeal to his eye even more than Honeychile Rider, Tiffany Case or Domino Petachi, Bond felt naturally inclined to be as helpful as possible.

If Bond and the Doctor had ever known eachother before their first selves had left Gallifrey, neither of them would recognise eachother now, unless the Doctor announced that he was not an earthman but a Gallifreyan. Timelords could recognise eachother after subsequent regenerations, but only if they were consciously trying to, as the 3rd Doctor had once recognised a later version of the Master than the one he knew best, while plucked out of time and space on Gallifrey. (See "The Five Doctors.")

"… that's the quickest and most scenic way to get there, Mrs…"

"I'm not married," said Bibi, "We're just friends. I'm actually more of a health and exercise consultant to him."

As casual conversation continued, the Doctor soon found himself standing in close quarters with James Bond.

"Hai!" he called, suddenly using his Venusian Karate to put Bond down on the ground, while quickly relieving him of his gun and a concealed knife.

The Doctor had learned his Venusian Karate shortly before the beginning of his third life, and used it extensively until part of the way through his fourth. He still occasionally used it, in his fifth and sixth lives, but largely avoided it. Since Bond had never had the chance to visit Venus, he was at a disadvantage.

"So which up and coming Nazi has you on their payroll in there?" said Bond, "I've had my eye on that castle for days now."

"And our own people have had their eyes on you for over 40 years from your perspective," said the Doctor, "Although for them it's only been a few weeks on the timescope."

"The timescope? You're from Gallifrey?" said Bond.

"Yes," said the Doctor, "But without your unhealthy and hurtful inclinations towards this planet's female population."

"Oh turn it off," said Bond, "Is Borusa still such a prude in his latest regeneration?"

"Actually he's indisposed," said the Doctor, with a chilling recollection of how Borusa had fallen into Rassilon's immortality trap.

One day he would have to do something about that. The greatest of the timelords was still not God. One day the Doctor would amass enough knowledge, or enough allies and technology to undo the effects of that trap and set its captives free, albeit under serious supervision by the timelords.

"Well whoever sent you after me needs to get a life," said Bond.

"Actually your female cast-offs are even now, at several points in the last 42 years, being helped to rebuild theirs," said the Doctor, "And like it or not, you're coming back with me in my TARDIS to Gallifrey for rehabilitation."

The Doctor rolled Bond over and bound his hands, and removed his watch, so that its circular carving function could not be used to cut him free. They walked him back up the hill to the TARDIS and delivered him to Gallifrey.

Maxell and Andred had recovered Bond's TARDIS from his apartment.

Now, using a more positive application of Gallifreyan hypnosis, Bond was wiped of the last 42 years of his memories, and then cured of his obcessive lusts for fornication with earth females. After that, and Bond's latest regeneration, and an adjust ment to the Doctor's TARDIS which the Doctor had once accidentally made with the help of Liz Shaw during his 3rd incarnation, the Doctor took the rehabilitated James Bond to a parallel earth, not the one he'd visited in 1970, but another of many. There Bond was allowed to use his psychic paper and hypnosis to join that earth's MI6. It had the same M as the one on the earth he'd recently left, but for this M, Bond was not yet a 00. She soonafter promoted him and he went on to take on many assignments for them. However, this time, he did not fornicate with a string of ladies, merely got on with his assignments and waited for the time when he might form a lasting relationship with the right one. This was somewhat set back by the betrayals of Vesper Lynd and the activities of Spectre and a madman named Blofeld who had delusions about some pre-existing connection between himself and Bond. What would happen with Bond next was another story yet to be told.

In the meantime, the Doctor visited Andred and Leela and the first K9, who was now as loyal to Andred as he had once been willing to stun Andred at the Doctor's command all those years ago.

In Jamaica, a woman born in 1963 was now 40 in 2003. She might well live to be a lot older than 103, although with a few makeovers along the way. Being born out wedlock was not her own doing. Neither she nor her elderly mother had any idea of her duel heritage. Her name was Jean, and she was the daughter of James Bond and Honeychile Rider.