(Author's note: If you recognize it it probably wasn't my idea. Also a few of the names are borrowed as well.

Sorry it took me so long, but some of the conversations are a bit out of my element, or at least one side of the conversation was. Also I started school again and I don't have internet access at home yet.)

Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny made their way back to the house. Already Harry was starting to see what Ginny meant when she said it comes in waves. Although his grief over Fred's death had overtaken him, and in turn the other three, at the start of the path once they over came it they talked almost normally up to the house. Yet the grief was still there, fermenting under the surface. Although Harry had experienced the peculiarities of grief several times before, this was the first time he knew what it was like to normally grieve as a family. After Cedric, Sirius, and Dumbledore's deaths Harry ended up back at the Dursley's and found himself grieving alone. Although he grieved for Dobby's death with a group of friends the task at hand had pushed the grief aside somewhat. Although Harry had to suffer grief before this was the first time he would be allowed to grieve in a natural way with friends and family.

As they reached the door of the Burrow a thought occurred to him. "Didn't the Aurors side with the Ministry under Riddle's control? How can we just trust them now?" he asked.

Mr. Weasley, who was sitting outside in the sunshine next to the door in between the waves of the storm of grief who answered. "Kingsley explained it before we left. Not all Aurors sided with the Ministry. Some who were in the field refused to return and be ruled by Voldemort. Others resisted where they could and fled once they were able to do so. He-who-must-not-be-named hushed it up and filled the gaps with his Death-eaters and the snatching squads. It was from those who remained loyal that Kingsley drew up our protective details."

Harry hadn't noticed Mr. Weasley at first and was thus a bit shocked when he spoke. "So these are all people Kingsley knew?"

"Of course, Harry. Many in the Ministry tried to resist, but with many of the higher-ups either swearing allegiance to V-voldemort or under an Imperius curse the rank and file had no choice but to comply. It happened so suddenly and the Death-eaters were so well organized that few had the chance to flee. I believe you yourself saw that when you snuck into the Ministry."

"H-H-Harry, dear," Molly sniffed as she burst through the door, "It's good to have you back." She immediately pulled Harry into a fierce embraces. Harry couldn't help but notice her tear-stained face. She must have stopped crying a moment before she saw him. He had to fight hard not to break down into another fit for tears not only for Fred, but for Remus and Tonks and Dobby as well.

It was different this time. No longer was Harry alone in his suffering. Although it seemed his grief hit him harder this time, but for the first time in his life he realized the the healing that comes from mourning with friends, with family.

*** ******

The rest of the day passed with times of tears and, much to Harry's surprise, times of laughter. Yet there were two people who were more affected by their grief than any of the others. Neither Mrs. Weasley nor George laughed. They would seem to cry themselves out. George would then withdraw, moving to a corner or to another room. Harry learned from Ron that he had refused to stay in his old room the night before and he seemed to avoid going near there. Mrs. Weasley would try and work every time she stopped weeping. She was both trying to get things done while she knew she had the strength as well as trying to push her tears as far away as possible.

It was after a simple lunch of sandwiches that Harry quietly asked Ginny if she wanted to go for a walk. He already understood what she had meant that morning about being glad he and Hermione were there at last and thus figured she could use an excuse to get out as much as he needed one.

At first they walked in silence around the sunlit garden. What could he say? There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he wanted to hear from her, but where should he start? As he thought about what to say they kept walking, heading down the path to the road.

"Thanks," said Ginny quietly at last.

"For what?"

"For getting me out and letting me think," she explained as she she took his hand. "It's odd, I want to be alone but at the same time I don't. I need some time to think and everything but it just doesn't seem right to leave everyone," she finished softly, her voice barely audible.

"I thought you could use a break," he replied with a small smile. They were now making their way down the stream that ran by the Burrow. They settled down into silence for a few more minutes. 'Just get on with it, Harry,' he thought to himself. "Ginny, I," he paused, grasping for words, "I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there with you, or you could have been with us," His words were now flowing swiftly out of his mouth in a rush, like a waterfall. "I wish I could have done more, maybe there was something I could have done --"

"Shut up," Ginny snapped with a fierce look in her eyes. "How the hell can you still blame yourself?" She stopped and turned to face Harry, looking into his eyes. For a brief moment he thought she was going to slap him. "We all knew what we were risking. Every one of us who came back to fight. You stopped it, Harry." Tears were now filling her eyes which caused Harry to feel even worse. He brought her out here so she wouldn't have to cry; he knew how much she hated to cry. "Fred knew what he was doing, just like the rest of us, just like Dad did when he was guarding the prophecy and was bitten by the snake, like Bill did last year when he came to fight the Death-eaters when Dumbledore died and Greyback nearly killed him, and just like I did when I joined the fight. How many more would have died if you didn't go through that, that," she stammered looking for a word strong enough to describe his fights with Riddle. "The HELL that bastard put you through," she finished. She was hugging him now, holding him as though letting go would mean his death yet leaning on him for support.

Harry didn't know what to do. He just rubbed her back as she sobbed into his chest. "I know, Ginny," he whispered, "I know in my head, but I still feel like I should have done more."

She was starting to gain control of her tears. "I-it was almost you," she said with a cracking voice, "P-percy and, and R-ron told me about it. You and Percy and Fred were there and Percy said it should have been him, but if it was that close it could have been you..." she trailed off." She finally let go of him. "I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't mean for that," she stammered looking for words. "I mean I never wanted you to see me like this," she continued to sniffle.

"It's alright, Ginny," he softly replied. "Remember what I said at the memorial?"

"The part about today being a time to mourn?"

"Yes, I mean after all the happened," Harry's voice began to waiver as he continued, "and then with Fred, Remus, Tonks, who the hell could just pick right back up?" He had to take a deep breath the steady himself before continuing. "Hermione helped me write that, and she pointed out that a lot of people came who didn't really know anyone who died very well. She and Kingsley actually wrote most of what I said. I just told them what I thought it should be about after talking with Hermione. Those who didn't really lose anyone needed to take a day to mourn for those they never knew."

Harry paused and thought back to those he had lost in the war. He never knew his parents, yet he keenly felt their absence. It had been incredibly sickening to see Cedric killed in cold blood, especially when Harry had himself urged Cedric to take the cup with him, yet he really didn't know Cedric that well. Sirius' death had been the hardest. Although he only knew Sirius for a couple years his godfather had been in some ways closer than anyone else. Yet with all the deaths Harry had seen in his young life he still didn't know what to say. He knew that most of what he could say would seem trite and empty compared to the loss Ginny was feeling along with the rest of the Weasley family. Finally Harry thought of something that might help her.

"Hermione said she read somewhere that the whole first year can be the hardest, what with all the anniversaries and holidays reminding us of those who aren't there and all," Harry said softly. "No one expects us to just mysteriously adjust to life without Fred, and none of us would want to – it would be like forgetting him. But we aren't going to mope around forever. It will take time but we'll get through this." He paused as he took a deep breath before finishing, "I'm here for you, Ginny, I hope you know that." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

After a moment Harry let go of her and they walked in silence. Ginny was the one to break it. "I'm worried about George. He's taking this the hardest, and I suppose he should." She spoke softly and slowly. "He's hardly eaten anything and he barely left the sitting room yesterday or this morning. He stayed down there all night with the casket, and I don't think he slept at all. Mum's bad off too."

"I imagine it's hard, losing the one person who was always there for everything he did. Maybe Hermione will know what to say," Harry replied. "I suppose I can try to talk to him later too. He probably blames himself for getting separated, maybe I can help with that. If nothing else maybe he just needs someone who isn't a Weasley to talk to. At least someone who isn't officially a Weasley," he corrected himself.

**** ** ****

Shortly after Harry and Ginny left Hermione took Ron's hand and led him out the back door. "You look like you could use some fresh air."

Ron merely nodded in response. As they walked around the Garden Hermione began to speak. "It doesn't seem real, does it?" She figured Ron might need to talk about something, anything, except Fred right now.

"No, it doesn't. It doesn't even feel safe here anymore, not after how the wedding ended," replied Ron as he thought of their narrow escape nine months earlier. "I always figured we'd get through this just fine. My family, I mean. I know I hadn't the right, but I just thought that somehow we would all be fine. Even during the battle. After all, we're Weasleys, and we're warriors. Then when we were captured," his voice began to waiver as his tears began to fall. "But we got out, and we got Luna and Dean and Mr. Ollivander out and we at least couldn't die. When Fred..." Ron lost control here and started to weep.

"It's OK, Ron, I know," Hermione replied as she put an arm around him. "I mean in the back of my mind I knew it could happen, but you, Harry and I had each other." She stood that way for a while, just listening to him weep as she rubbed his back. They continued to wander around the Weasley's yard.

I haven't let go of her wand yet," Hermione said at last. "Even when I sleep I need to have it to be ready. I thought when Voldermort was dead that would be it, but it seems worse than ever now, almost like I'm waiting for the next battle, for the bigger one. Even now I feel so, so, so revealed. When do we get back to normal, back to how it used to be?"

Ron and finished weeping for now. He slowly took her hand in his, unsure of what to say. His thoughts and heart both raced as he remembered their brief kiss in the heat of battle. Was that all it was? Did she just want to forget it? Shouldn't he still be mourning Fred and not worrying about the beautiful girl next to him? No, it could wait, he decided. Maybe later today they would talk about that, but he needed a bit more time first.

"I think they went for a walk by the river," Hermione replied. Sure enough as they turned the corner they found Harry and Ginny walking towards them. The four four of them made their way back to the house in silence. Once outside the door they began to talk but waited outside in the warm sunshine.

***** ** *****

Dinner that evening was a somber occasion. The talk soon turned to the funeral plans. "If we have the funeral on Friday that gives us 2 days to get ready," Mr. Weasley was saying. "We can use the morning to have a marquee set up in the yard and get everything set, then have the funeral in the afternoon."

"If we have it on Friday then Harry and I will be able to go to the Colin's funeral on Thursday and we'll all be able to go to the Lupins' funeral on Saturday," Hermione added.

Harry looked down at his plate of food. He had hardly ate a single bit and was merely pushing the food around the plate. All the talks of funerals for people he had called friends was making him feel ill.

"We need to do something more than just have flowers. He won't want that." Everyone looked up at the husky sound of George's voice. He had hardly spoken a word all day. "I think Lee can help with the decorating." George looked at his mother's face and added, "Please, Mum, it's what he wants. We, well, we did talk about it once or twice. I also think I should do the eulogy. Dad or whoever else can speak too, but he wants me to do this."

His words twisted like a knife in Harry's gut. The twins had actually talked about what would happen if they died during the war while Harry had assumed everyone would just get through it. What right did he have to make such assumptions? Maybe he had it easy while he was on the run. He had only run into Death-eaters a couple times. How long was it before Fred and George had been forced to close their beloved shop? Maybe Snape had been right. Maybe he was just arrogant. Maybe...

Ginny watched as Harry started to look like he would be ill. Even before that he had looked less and less comfortable. As George talked she reached over and squeezed Harry's hand, offering what small comfort she could. She couldn't help but think back to earlier today as they walked around the lake. She enjoyed holding his hand again. She thought about where she and Harry now stood. It was far easier than thinking about Fred's funeral. Where did they stand now? It had hurt when Harry broke up with her, but she knew she couldn't go with him. She was still underage and thus she still had the trace. She figured after the battle they would just get back together, but then again she never thought her brother would die. Why was she thinking of Harry when she should be paying attention to her family plan her brother's funeral? She puller her hand away from Harry.

Her touch had been comforting. She still cared for him. As Ginny held his hand under the table Harry began to calm down. He would get through this. Her touch reminded him that she didn't blame him. No blamed him now, not even himself. They were a family united in grief. Then she pulled her hand away and he was suddenly an outsider again. His stomach began to churn again, and once more felt like an outsider. It hardly seemed possible that just two days ago he had felt like a needed part of this family, united with them over Fred's death when it was the discussion of Fred's funeral that was separating him from them right now.

'But what do you really have in common with them now? They all assume they know what it was like, but only Ron and Hermione were there with me,' he thought as his stomach continued to churn. 'And how well did I really know Fred?' Out of the corner of his eye he glanced at Ginny. He thought again of how hard it had been to break things off with her even with their unspoken understanding that he would return and resume their relationship. But that was before. 'How can she know what I went through? How can I know what she went through? At least she had some time away from the horrors at Hogwarts when she was at her Aunt Muriel's. Will she ever understand?'

As strains from the discussion floated in and out of his mind he wondered if he would be able to relate with anyone here at the table. Not even Ron and Hermione knew what it was like for him in the woods. Sure, they heard more about what had transpired than any of the rest and they knew of the horcruxes about which no one else at the table knew. But they didn't have to fight that battle. They too were on the outside. Harry began to sweat.

He quickly excused himself. "Are you feeling alright, dear?" Molly asked right before he left the room. It was then that Harry realized everyone was staring at him again. No, they couldn't understand.

"I'm sure I'll be fine in a few minutes," he lied. "I'll just go lie down for a bit."

"You don't look well, Harry," Molly replied, "Ron, help him to the couch."

"No, really, I think it will be better if I just get some fresh air or lie down." Harry felt even worse now for distracting the Weasleys from planning the memorial for their son. 'They shouldn't have to worry about me too,' he thought as he turned and headed for the stairs before Ron could get up. He bolted for the bathroom first where he doused his face with water. 'Give them a chance,' he thought. 'Maybe in time they'll understand.'

In an instant he was standing in the forest again. He saw the flash of green hit him....

'No,' came another voice in his mind. He was back in the bathroom at the Burrow. 'They don't know what it was like. They can't know what it was like.'

Harry was suddenly back at Hogwarts walking into the forest under his invisibility cloak. He paused as he passed Ginny....

"And I never want the to know. No one should have to face that evil. I shouldn't have had to, but better that I face it than my friends, better me than my family.'

Harry was suddenly away of someone knocking on the door and calling his name. He was suddenly aware that his heart was racing.

"Harry, are you alright, mate?" Ron called.

"Yeah, I'll be right out." Harry opened the door. "I'll just go lie down now. I'm fine, Ron, really." As he turned and continued up the stairs he noticed Bill and Arthur watching from next landing down. Harry made his way to Ron's room and collapsed onto his cot and quickly fell into an uneasy sleep.

***** ** *****

(A/N: For those who can relate to the second half let me just say that to a much lesser degree than what is put forth in this story I have been there. Part of what the characters will be going through in the next few chapters is from both personal experience and research. (I'll just say that for what I want to do with my life I have studied the re-integration process and I have gone through it myself.) In fact one of the lines from Harry's thoughts is from something I've told myself and my family and friends.)