"What magic is in this dish?"
Loki asked Cathy, who had ordered him a huge bowl of ice cream. The bowl contained virtually every taste of ice cream available. The guy behind the counter had already drawn big eyes when Cathy had entered with Loki, and when she then had specified she wanted a bowl with Everything –yes, everything, you understood well- he had looked as if his eyes were ready to pop out of his face. Still, he had obliged, and now Cathy was observing a god eat the hugest ice cream ever in a stunning record time.
"It's not magic, it's ice cream."
Cathy specified with her most "DUH" voice. For a moment Loki appeared annoyed, but then he concentrated again on the two pound frozen goodness in front of him. Still he grumbled.
"You mortals must have had a magic aid, it is impossible that…"
"Don't hate on us, we have our own kind of magic." Cathy grinned. "It's called intelligence."
If there hadn't been a large bowl of ice between herself and the god she would never have dared to say that, but now Loki was too distracted to change her into a pile of poop… When the bowl was empty at last, Loki said.
"Fine, Mortal. You have supplied me with enough amusement for today."
"I don't understand how you don't have an indigestion. That was more ice cream than anyone should eat, ever."
"I'm a god. I do what I want. Regardless of laws of nature."
"So… Can you fly?"
Loki raised an eyebrow and promptly floated a little above the ground. Cathy wanted to face-palm.
"Fine. I believe you."
Early Medieval Age: The Merovingian Dynasty
The third day in class everyone was already seated before Loki entered. They hadn't forgotten about the baboon-incident, and the threat of being changed into heaps of poop was still fresh in their memory. The god threw the door open and barged in, not paying attention to the doorpost. A loud "CRACK" resounded, and they could all see how the doorpost had gained two horn-shaped holes. Loki ignored the little defect and simply turned to the class, playing with his stick/wand/thing. Cathy realized she really had to ask him what it was called.
"Good day mortals. Today we're talking about the Merovingian Dynasty. Does anyone know what that is?"
No one raised a hand.
"Of course not. You should, however. We discussed them in the first lesson. Rings a bell?"
Still no one raised a hand.
"I won't change you into anything if you try to answer the question."
Immediately a few hands went up. Loki pointed at a girl.
"Yes?"
"They were a dynasty of the Franks, their instigator was called Merovech, hence the name."
Loki nodded.
"Correct, Mortal. What is your name?"
"Christine, Sir."
"Well done, Christine. At least one of you mortals pays attention here."
Then he promptly changed the boy of last time into a baboon and back. With an apologizing smile he said.
"I promised not to change you into anything, Christine. Never said my promise extended to the rest of the class."
A collective shiver went through the class. Loki grinned and went on.
"Christine was correct, the Merovingian Dynasty indeed is one of the Franks. Now you can ask, why the Franks? Why not any of those other tribes we discussed? They may seem all the same, but there were some very important characteristics that made the Franks special."
The magical wand-thing changed into a long wooden stick again, and Loki pointed at the blackboard, where a map appeared.
"The Franks never really moved. They conquered, yes, but they kept control of their native grounds between the Rhine and the Somme. This gave them a base of power where they formed the majority of the population, a solid foundation for further conquests. This is in opposite to the other tribes we discussed, the Goths, Lombards, and Vandals who formed barely five per cent of the population in the lands they controlled."
On the blackboard, the native grounds of the Franks were colored red, and an arrow clearly stated: "1) BASE OF POWER".
"Then, other than the other tribes, the Franks managed to get rid of Latin in favor of their own language. You may not believe it, but language is a very powerful thing when it comes to binding a nation. People who spoke the Frankish language felt more Frank than Roman, or whatever other country or tribe they belonged to before. This makes for a certain loyalty among the population."
On the blackboard, another statement appeared: "2) OWN LANGUAGE".
"That they got rid of Latin doesn't mean the Franks didn't know the value of Roman culture however. They didn't just conquer Roman grounds; they also went for the areas that hadn't been part of the Roman Empire, like Thüringen and Bayern. In these areas they weren't the barbarian invaders, but the bringers of a high-standard culture, which made the people there a lot less reluctant to accept their new leaders."
A new statement appeared, among with a new coloration of the map: "3) BRINGERS OF ROMAN CULTURE".
"Now, last lesson we talked about Christianity, and I think I did mention how many Germanic tribes were Arian Christians, or Pagans. You are pagans too, by the way. Just mentioning. Now, when those tribes conquered formerly Roman lands, they found resistance from the religious side: most roman people were Catholic, and they couldn't connect to their new leaders due to differences in religion. Well, the most memorable descendant of the Merovingian Dynasty, Clovis, son of Childeric, made a bold move there. He, and with him all his people, converted to Catholicism in 496."
On the blackboard, a new important date and statement was put in place: "4) CLOVIS CONVERTS TO CATHOLISCISM, 496".
"This conversion made it possible for the two populations to approach each other, and soon the important families of both Germanic and Gallo-Roman side melted together to form one aristocracy. So far, all good…"
Loki grinned.
"However, it may be called a miracle that the Frankish Empire didn't disappear under the Merovingian rule. You see, they had this silly arrangement concerning the hereditariness of their throne."
Loki erased the map, and drew a circle.
"This is the land."
Then he drew a stickman with a crown.
"This is the king."
And then he drew four other stickmen, with smaller crowns.
"These are the king's sons."
Loki smiled melancholically.
"The Merovingians had the habit to divide their grounds and give equal parts to all their sons. When Clovis died in 511, each of his four sons received a quarter."
The circle was divided in four parts, and under each of the prince-stickmen one part appeared.
"You can see where this could go wrong. Luckily Clovis' sons had a pretty good relationship, and they managed to rule each their own ground in relative harmony. They even enlarged the kingdom. When the other three died of natural causes, Clothar I ruled over the whole kingdom once more."
Three of the stickmen fell down, and their land-quarters formed a new circle under the only prince left standing.
"Of course it couldn't stay like this. Clothar I got himself four sons as well, and those were not on great terms. The kingdom was divided in four parts again…"
The drawing repeated itself, with the four sons and the land that was being divided…
"There was Neustria, the old native ground of the franks, Austrasia, which was the lang Clovis had won from Syagrius, Aquitania, which we know from the Visigoths, and Burgundy. The brothers were fighting all the time, not unlike Thor and me. I imagine if Odin would split Asgard we would be like this too."
On the blackboard a dust cloud had been drawn, with here and there a hand or crown sticking out, showing a fight.
"If you mortals had lived in this age, you wouldn't have needed these things you call "soap series"… Marriage trouble, murdered spouses, poison, jealousy… These guys made enough drama to be worthy of their own reality show! I remember Heimdall used to entertain us with stories of their nonsensical behavior…"
That caused a bit of chuckling in the class.
"The last king to rule this whole area was Dagobert. He ruled a scarce ten years, from 629 to 639. After him, the land split. Aquitania went it's own way and Burgundy fell apart… you see the eastern parts of the land won back their autonomy. In the remaining areas, Austrasia and Neustria, the kings lost their power as well… but not to the people. The function of king became mostly ceremonial, as the real power belonged to the so-called Mayor of the Palace. Those guys commanded the army, and they were usually more loved with the people than the actual king."
Loki swirled his staff around and grinned.
"A new dynasty was being formed! The Mayor of the Palace of Austrasia under Dagobert I was Pepin I of Landen. He is considered the instigator of the Pippinid Dynasty. His grandson Pepin II of Herstal was the first to be Mayor of the Palace of both parts of the land, and he also was the one to get rid of the old Merovingian rulers, and call himself 'King of the Franks'."
The blackboard showed a short list of names: "PEPIN I OF LANDEN", then an arrow, and then "PEPIN II OF HERSTAL".
"Pepin II was the one who conquered more land for the Frankish empire and finally tried to restore it to its old glory, but the true conqueror here is his illegitimate son Charles Martel. Charles didn't have an easy life; most illegitimate children don't. Yet despite that he managed to become very successful. I have known him, and I must say I have rarely met such a cunning mortal as him. Thanks to tricks and ruses he managed to defeat more than one enemy, this including his father's evil wife Plectrudis. Seriously evil woman, I can tell you that."
Loki pulled a face that clearly expressed his disgust for this Plectrudis.
"Charles gave his name to a new dynasty, that of the Carolingians. He built up a professional army –which was a relatively new concept in those days- and financed it by disowning the church. On the long term that was probably one of his less well-devised plans, but it did give him a loyal, strong and well-trained group of warriors. This played a decisive role in the Battle of Tours in 732."
The map reappeared, and Loki pointed out both the city of Tours and the city of Poitiers.
"It was closer to Poitiers than to Tours, but because you mortals apparently loved to fight in this area, we call this particular fight 'The Battle of Tours' and another one in the same location 'The Battle of Poitiers'. Charles Martel successfully fought the Muslims here, who were on quite the conquering-spree at the time. They had already conquered the Arabian Peninsula, and in 711 an army led by a certain Tarik had crossed the Street of Gibraltar and crushed the Visigoths on the Iberian Peninsula. They went on for the rest of Europe from there, but thanks to Charles Martel and his paid-with-stolen-church-silver army the party ended there."
Loki was very expressive in the way he described the movements and battles, and if anyone still doubted he had actually known Charles Martel personally, the way he described the man definitely erased that.
"Charles Martel was called after the French word for "Hammer", because he apparently not only wielded a war hammer, but also "crushed" the Muslims with a figurative one. If only Thor had taken an example from him…"
Loki rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Charles' son Pepin III The Short continued his father's efforts to get rid of the Muslims, and he pushed them back to the Pyrenees. He did have to make an agreement with the Church, because those guys were slowly getting enough of being disowned and having their land and possessions being used to pay a bunch of fight-eager soldiers. In 744 Pepin III made a compromise with them, in which the soldiers got the usufruct of the land, but not its possession, and they would have to pay taxes on the usufruct to the Church."
The blackboard map was now full of arrows, but on the side the list of names got filled in with "CHARLES MARTEL", an arrow, and then "PEPIN III THE SHORT". Loki sighed and erased the map.
"That's about it for the Franks. They were not the only ones who got to deal with division of power and the likes though. In England there were divisions too, which eventually made for the origins of seven different kingdoms, namely North Umbria, Mercia, East Anglia, Wessex, Essex, Sussex and Kent. The bonds with the Frankish empire were strong here, mostly through marriage politics. Then in Italy we still had a Lombard king, but he had little power and the real ruling as done mostly by about twenty dukes."
As soon as everyone had written that down, Loki pointed at the door.
"Out, mortals." Then he added. "All but Cathy."
Everyone made his way to the door as soon as possible… All but Cathy… and the baboon-boy. Loki looked frowning at the young boy in front of his desk.
"Did you misunderstand me, mortal?"
"I have a question, Mr. Loki."
"Then ask it and don't waste my time."
"I just want to know why you change me into a baboon every time again. Do you have something against me?"
"Have something against you? That's ridiculous mortal. I don't even know your name, how could I have something against you?"
"If it helps, it's Peter. Could you please not transform me into anything again? It's very uncomfortable."
Loki looked up.
"Well… Peter… if it helps, the discomfort disappears after a while."
"But why a baboon? Do I look like a baboon? My girlfriend says I look like a baboon now, you know."
"Genetically you look like a baboon more than most things, so it's a logical choice."
"I don't like it. Could you… keep the transforming for when I actually do something wrong?"
Loki thought about that.
"Fine. I will not transform you into anything unless you do something to anger me."
"Thank you, Mr. Loki."
"Now get out."
Peter sort of ran to the door, eager to be far away from Loki as fast as possible. Loki then pointed his attention on Cathy.
"How are my classes?"
"You ask me?"
"Yes. You are the one who decides how well my quest is going, unfortunately. I am not any happier than you are with this arrangement."
Cathy smiled.
"You're doing great. I have never had history classes quite this interesting and amusing."
"Good. But your course book is awfully thick… if it goes on like this I'll be stuck here for a year!"
"That's the idea, I think…"
"I hate Heimdall so bad…"
"Have you always hated him?"
"Not always… I guess…He could be quite entertaining. But this…"
"You should just stay away from girls who have strong and protective brothers, it's the same here on earth…"
"That does nothing for my mood, mortal."
"So… what do you want me to do then?"
"Cheer me up. I don't know. Do something!"
"What did you do in… on… what was it again?"
"Asgard."
"Yeah. What did you do there?"
"Fight. Practice spells for fighting. Fight more."
Cathy cocked her head to the side.
"Seriously? That sounds like an awfully boring way to pass the time."
Loki looked up and grinned slightly melancholically.
"Why do you think I like tricks and pranks so much?"
Cathy shook her head.
"It's about time you learn the joys of cooking."
"Cooking is for maidens, mortal."
"We're emancipated here, Loki. Not to mention... cupcakes are for everyone."
(Author's Notes)
My exam is in a few days, and I still have an awful lot to study... I remind you guys that the more you review, the more motivated I am to study. Please review! This is my only way of fighting procrastination, please, please PLEASE support it with your reviews!
I love all my reviewers... The Inner Titan, MK123, Cloud of Thought, Nuala Gale, TheOnlyOneEv, Frequent Flier and CatchMeIfYouCan, COOKIES FOR YOU! Please keep reviewing, it's the only thing that keeps me bound to my books...
