I'm really sorry for the wait, everybody!
Day 6
Me (voice over): They're tired, hungry, and they smell freakin' horrible. But their luck will soon change…not. Hahaha!…I love myself!
(all are eating potatoes)
Sally: I can't all we've had to drink is coconut milk.
Jack (mockingly towards Mayor): Don't forget the "lemonade"
Mayor: Don't you mean "happy juice", moron?
Jack: You wanna go? Huh? (holds up fists)
Mayor (does the same): Yeah, come on, wimp!
Oogie (sobbing): STOP IT!! STOP IT!! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS CONSTANT FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART?!?!
(Silence)
Mayor: OMG! You watch "The Lovey-Dovey-Kissy-Goo-Goo Hour, too?
Oogie: Did you see episode 28 when…(rambles on)
(Oogie and Mayor begin quoting the soap opera in unison)
Jack: That was really creepy…
Barrel: In about a week, or so. We're going have to vote a member off. Like on the REAL Survivor.
(I appear out of nowhere)
Me: How all yall crazy kids doing?
Jack: I thought you said you'd be back in a month!
Me: Well, I just wanted to check up on you to see if you're tearing at each other's throats yet.
(More Silence)
Oogie
(peacefully): We're all friends; we would never have such horrible
feelings towards each other.
Barrel (picks up a nickel off the
ground): Hey! I found a nickel!
Oogie (jumps up into the air and does a butt slam on Barrel, crushing him): GIMMEE THAT NICKEL, YOU LITTLE BOOGER!!
Me: Okay, that was pretty much the creepiest thing I've ever seen…
Shock: I have a question
Me: Spit it out, ugly.
Shock: What does the winner get?
Me: Um…(nervous chuckle)
Shock: You were going to give us something RIGHT?
Me (changes subject): Sally, you snore like a hobo with a cold, you know that?
Sally: (scoffs) Get a life, Bone.
Me: Yeah, like I haven't heard THAT one before.
Sally: Well, yo mamma's so dumb, she thinks Dick Chainey is what you use to—
Jack (stops Sally abruptly): Okay, I think we've heard enough for today.
Sally (while Jack is holding her back): Lemmee at 'im!
Me: I'll be back in another two weeks. (Ominous voice) That's when you get to vote a member off your team. Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! (disappears)
Jack: I've said it once and I'll say it again: "What an ass…"
