I touched my hair nervously as I stepped out of the elevator Monday morning. Penelope had put it up in a new style before we'd left and I was certain everyone could tell I'd spent the weekend with her, recuperating my wounded heart. Straightening my shoulders, I went to my office. As I unlocked my door, a young man in a dark suit approached me.
"Erin Strauss?" I nodded. "Here, these are yours." He shoved a large manila envelope into her arms.
I knew what was in the envelope without him telling me I'd been served. "Let me guess, you're from Charlie's law firm, aren't you?" He nodded, blushing. "It's all right, I knew this day was coming, I have for years. I was just hoping to retain Chas myself. Have a good day." I tried to smile, but knew it looked more like a grimace.
"You too, Mrs. Strauss." His expression was strained and sad as well and he patted my shoulder before he left. I went into my office and sat heavily in the chair, slipping my thumb beneath the flap to open the envelope. After I'd pulled everything out, I quickly read through the documents, seeing what demands Corin was making.
"Oh, god," I whispered as I read his demands. The one that hurt the most was his desire to seek full physical custody of our children, citing my long work hours. He'd attached a sticky note saying it was this or he revealed my affair to my supervisors. "You've left me no choice, have you, Corin?" I said bitterly as I tore the sticky note off the page and signed my name with a flourish.
Sighing, I buried my face in my hands, struggling not to cry or mess up the hairdo Penelope had so lovingly created. Finally, I gained control of my breathing and began to look through my inbox. Unfortunately, there was nothing pressing to take my mind off my situation.
I called up my office email and saw there was a note from Penelope. I read it and couldn't help but smile a little. She seemed to have that effect on everyone, though. My heart was fast becoming tender to her, especially after the weekend we had shared, and that scared me. After the disaster of my marriage (and wasn't it so easy to pretend to be happy for the space of a photograph?), I was reticent to begin something new, to open myself up to the pain once more. Then I noticed her signature line. It was a quite from C.S. Lewis – 'To love is to be vulnerable.'
That perfectly described her. She was vulnerable to everyone, taking every slight personally and working to correct the least of mistakes. I'd seen it in the Fisher King case, and Agent Hotchner had written so many times in his annual reviews of the woman. Her heart is bigger than her brain, if that can be fathomed, was his most recent musing on her. And from the little I'd experienced, I had to agree with him.
A heavy knocking on my door startled me from my thoughts and I sat up, shutting down the email client. "Come in," I said, my voice sounding oddly choked.
Nicole, Director Shepperd's assistant walked through the door. "Chief Strauss, Director Shepperd would like to see you in his office immediately." She looked so serious, so stoic, that I knew I was going to receive bad news. I stood up and smoothed my skirt.
A flicker of disgust blinked across her face as I approached her, and I felt the bottom fall out of my stomach as I knew with sudden clarity what the Director would be talking to me about. I drew myself up to my full height, not about to seem weak in front of this snip of a girl.
I swept out of my office, my steps deliberately measured, a frown on my face. As I passed by the bullpen, my eye caught Penelope's. She looked as devastated as I felt, and I nodded imperceptibly to her. She burst into tears and took a step towards me, only to be stopped by Agent Morgan, who looked concernedly at her. I walked on, about to break myself, and pressed the up button on the elevator.
Once the doors slid closed, my phone vibrated and I answered. "Rossi got a hold of the video footage from your office. I'm so sorry, Erin. I think, I know, he took it to Shepperd already, since I've been told I have to stay here for the next six months. He called it my probationary period." Penelope's voice sounded so sad, and I felt my heart stir once more in my breast, wanting, aching to comfort her.
"I'm on my way to see him right now," I said quietly. "I'm sorry, I have to go." I hung up on her, slipping the phone back in my pocket as I stepped out of the elevator. Once more, every eye was on me, and now I knew why. Thrusting my chin up and out, I looked down my nose at the ones who stared too long at me.
Using the same deliberate gait, I went into Shepperd's office. He was seated at his desk, looking over some papers, so I stood before him, waiting for him. "Sit down, Erin."
His tone startled me, but I was careful to mask the jumping of my heart as I sat. "You wished to see me?"
"Yes. Some rather disturbing footage of you and a subordinate has surfaced. I have already dealt with her, now I have to finish taking care of the problem. Since she was your subordinate, the full onus of responsibility is on your shoulders. Therefore, I have no choice in this. You're fired." The words cut to the bone and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. "You'll still have access to your pension, of course. We cannot deny you that. However, you need to have your office cleaned out in two hours' time. Nicole will assist you in any way she can. I believe she brought some boxes down for you to use."
"There's not much to pack up," I said woodenly, my mind racing. I stood and stared down at him. He didn't even bother to look up at me, and I turned on my heel, leaving the room. No marriage, not job, what more could I find out on this horrible day, I thought as I rode the elevator down. I pulled out my cell phone and saw Penelope had texted me while I'd been with Shepperd. A few tears squeezed out of my eyes as I read her assertion that I was still her orchid.
I stepped out of the elevator and went to my office, meeting no one's eye. It was as though they knew, however, from the whispers I heard behind my back as I entered my office. Nicole had already packed most of the books on my, the, shelves so I began to pack up my desk, taking the pictures of my children and setting them in an empty box. Then the diplomas came down from the wall, and finally my precious bonsai tree was set on top of everything else.
Without saying a word to each other, we took the boxes out to my car, putting most of them in the trunk. When the final two boxes were tucked away, she turned to me. "I'll need your credentials, Mrs. Strauss."
Her words hurt more than I could let on, so I just nodded, unclipping the badge from my blouse and handing it over. Wordlessly I got in my car and drove aimlessly for an hour, trying to find some balance in my wildly swinging emotions. Finally, I decided to go home, knowing no one would be there at this time.
When I saw my suitcases on the front porch, I knew that I had nothing left in my life. Giving in to the tears, I put the bags in my car and left the divorce papers attached to the door. I stumbled back to my car and sobbed until my head hurt. Taking a shuddery breath, I started the car and pulled away from the only home I had known since I was twenty-three.
Again, I drove and drove, not stopping until I realized I had somehow pulled up in front of her apartment building. I put the car in park and saw her sitting by the fountain, her fingers running through the water. As if she knew I was staring at her, she looked up and smiled sadly at me. She came over to the driver's side door and opened it, wrapping her arms around me. "I was hoping you'd come here when I found out what they'd done to you."
"I had nowhere else to go, Penelope. But why are you home so early?" I unbuckled my belt and turned to her, burying my face in her hair. She rubbed my back and let me cry for a minute before helping me out of the car.
"Hotch let me come home. I made up an excuse about feeling ill and really, I did when Rossi told us so gleefully that they had fired you. Out of all of them, Hotch understands the best." She looked in the back seat of my car. "Why do you have everything with you still?"
"Because Corin's kicked me out. I signed the divorce papers minutes before being called into Shepperd's office."
"Oh, my sweet orchid," she murmured in my ear as she drew me close to her. "Let's get your suitcases upstairs."
I stepped back from her, my brow furrowed. "Just like that?"
"Just like that. I would never rescind my offer of sanctuary." She kissed my cheek softly and then opened my back car door. "Now, after we get everything upstairs, do you want to go out to eat? I don't imagine you've taken the time to do that yet today."
Reaching in the car, I grabbed out the largest bag. "That might be nice. Is there a good Chinese place nearby?"
"Right around the corner, actually." She grabbed out two bags and shut the door and then led me upstairs. "Just put the suitcases in our bedroom, and I'll run down and grab your bonsai. If you want to hang up some clothes in the closet, just push my things together to make room."
As we climbed the stairs, I found myself lost in thought. How easily she had called the bedroom ours, as if she were certain of something between us that I couldn't see at the moment. She opened her door and I stepped inside. She set the bags she was holding down on the bed and touched my shoulder as she left. "Penelope," I sighed under my breath as I set the big bag next to the others. I unzipped the bag and gasped in horror. My clothes were nothing but shreds.
Frantically, I pawed through the tatters, hoping beyond hope there was something undamaged. I wiped away furious tears with my thumb as I kept coming up empty. Then my hand touched silk and I knew it was my favorite dress. Hesitantly, I pulled it out, dreading what I would find.
I held it up against my body and began to sob as I saw this was the long garment Corin had not touched in that bag. Lovingly, I caressed the smooth fabric. "Is that all that remains?" Penelope asked as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"In this bag, yes," I replied as I leaned back into her touch. She kissed my cheek and stepped away from me.
"I'll check the other bags. You don't need this stress on top of everything else." She closed the large bag and set it on the floor, pulling the others closer to us. As I watched, she pulled out intact garments and my knees buckled. I sank to the floor, still holding my dress to me. "This bag looks whole, my orchid. Must be his rage was spent by the time he got to these."
The other bag contained my undergarments, again blessedly whole. She swept the bags off the bed and sat down, holding out her arms. I fell into them and she carefully pulled out the pins holding my hair up. I sighed in pleasure as she ran her fingers through my locks and my tears fell onto her shoulder. When my sobs finally ceased, she gently wiped my face clear of the traces of sorrow.
"Do you feel up to eating now? I could have that restaurant deliver rather than us going out."
"That would be nice," I said as I flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Chicken fried rice and two egg rolls." I closed my eyes and fought not to smile when she kissed me gently.
"Anything for you." I sighed and rolled onto my side, watching her order. "It'll be here in twenty minutes," she said as she rejoined me on the bed, pulling me close. We stayed like that until the food arrived and as she paid, I took out two glasses and filled them with water, setting them on the table.
"As soon as I have my bearings about me, I'll start looking for my own place." She smiled cryptically at me, as if she already could see the future. "What does the Oracle see?"
"It's not entirely clear yet. But I believe our future looks rosy." There it was again, that easy assertion of an us, of a future together. I broke eye contact with her and focused on eating. I found I couldn't eat much, since the portions were huge, and most of my appetite had fled earlier. We put the leftovers in the fridge and I heavily made my way over to the bed once more, sitting down on the edge.
Penelope knelt in front of me and began undoing the buttons on my blouse. I tugged it from my skirt and together we slipped it off my body. I unhooked my bra while she slipped off my skirt. Then she took off her dress and bra, joining me in the bed. I curled into the softness of her and she wrapped her arms around me, cupping my breasts. "Who else did Rossi tell about our extra-curricular activities?" I asked quietly.
"Everyone in the bullpen."
"Even the new girl?"
"Uh huh. She was the only one surprised by the revelation. I suppose surprised isn't really the right word, more like shocked. Derek was just glad I didn't get let go as well. I think the way Rossi went about it actually gained you some supporters." She kissed my cheek and I turned in her arms, capturing her lips with my own. I heard her purr slightly and deepened the kiss, burying my hands in her hair.
Her hands slid down my body to cup my ass, pulling me incredibly close to her. She slipped her fingers underneath the fabric of my panties, finding me already wet, eager, for her touch. I parted my legs slightly and she took the invitation, seeking out my clit, rubbing it with maddeningly soft touches. I felt my hips move as she drove me on to the pinnacle of pleasure. Never releasing my lips, she swallowed my moan of pleasure as I came.
Untangling my fingers, I tripped my way down her body, thumbing her nipples until she squirmed against me, biting my lip as she tried to moan. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, dueling with hers as my own fingers slipped beneath her panties, finding her core. She orgamsed much more quickly than I did, and she tore her mouth away from mine. "Oh, Erin, you're fire and I don't ever want this to go out," she panted before kissing her way down my body. Without hesitation, I gave myself over to her, ready to be blessed by the Oracle.
