TITLE: The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou

GENRE: Romance/Humour

PAIRINGs: AkaFuri, KagaKuro, AoSaku, KiseMatsu (Idecided that Kasamatsu-chan will be an uke! Hehehehe, if there's a tsundere seme then there should be a tsundere uke. No logic is no logic! XD), MuraMuro, MidoTaka and many more implied. :D

Chapter 3: Akashi's Absolute Pick Up Lines 1

Agenda: Mission #2: Pick –up lines had never failed before

Idea of: Kise Ryouta

Permitted by: GoM and Manager

OoOoO

"It seems that we are lacking of more training, Coach." Kuroko muttered besides the girl who almost has her heart run away from her.

"Kuroko! Don't just pop out of there!" Kuroko raised his right eyebrow, that got really old sometimes. Aida furrowed her eyebrows as she observes her players before nodding.

"You're right!" Kuroko smiled.

"Well, I know a place…"

OoOoO

Akashi Seijuurou doesn't like to repeat his words nor does he like others to repeat their words as if he didn't hear it the first time they said it. One word is enough for a wise man as they had often said.

But, he just can't help it when he asked this blond copycat he called his former teammate again.

"Are you really sure about this, Ryouta?" He looked at the smiling blond who keeps giving him thumbs up.

"I am sure of it, Akashicchi! When have I never been sure?"

The others looked at each other. "Ah… your whole life?" Aomine drawled.

"Aominecchi! You're so mean! Tell him, Momoicchi! Tell him he's mean." Kise pouted, crying his heart out. Momoi cringed at the clinging man.

"You're very mean, Dai-chan. Very, very mean. There, there, Kise-kun, there, there." Momoi attempted. But really, who the hell cares? She most certainly not! What she cares is that she's seeing yaoi in action! And you think she'll be the first one to cock-block them! Ha, newsflash! She was the one making them come true.

"Anyway, when will they arrive?" Murasakibara asked, eyes glazed with laziness.

"Any minute now, I think." Midorima carefully cleaned his nails showing that he does not even care at all if they arrive in those span of 'any minute now'.

"So, Shin-chan, where should I put this?" This that one Takao Kazunari is talking about is his dearest Shin-chan's gigantic wooden-carved crab statue.

Yes, because of Akashi's courting, the teams that took a Generation of Miracles member had been wrapped up in this training camp too.

Midorima didn't reply, Takao sighed.

"You can put it here, Takao-kun." Himuro pointed beside him where a marble bench was situated. Takao beamed. "Thank God! This thing is a shitload heavy."

"A-ano… Where's the rest room?" Sakurai asked timidly. When everyone looked at him, he flushed. "I'm sorry!"

Aomine tsk-ed at the others before glaring at those who dared look at his mushroom. "Stop apologizing, Ryou."

"I'm sorry!"

Aomine sighed before blaming everyone.

"It's your fault Kise."

And by everyone, he means Kise.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Aominecchi is so mean! Kasamatsucchi!"

A kick granted everyone silence.

OoOoO

He should have known that something was up when it was decided that they will suffer another training camp for two weeks somewhere in Kyoto. He should have known, really.

Two weeks did sound familiar to him. It rang a bell in his sensitive mind actually.

And now when they loaded off their bus at a camp styled especially for athletes three kilometres away from civilization, he now knew why.

"Kouki." He jumped. Of course he jumped. Who wouldn't? Akashi Seijuurou, the emperor of the court and probably; someday in the near future, the world, just called you just in time when your feet touched the ground while your only transportation back speed away from your sight along with all your hopes and dreams to ever live a normal life once again.

"A-Aka-Akashi-san…" Furihata's eyes widened with every step that Akashi took to shorten their distance. Everyone prayed for the boy's wellbeing.

"What have you done?" The redhead demanded, the brunette paled as he trembled.

"Wh-what d-do you mean? I have done nothing!" He cried. Akashi frowned and Furihata swore he saw the flashback of his life. Well, this is goodbye then.

"That's the point!" He roared.

"I'm sorry!" He wailed, his knees knocking together in fright.

"You have done nothing and yet…" Akashi took his Kouki's hand before placing it on the left side of his chest where his heart lies. "Yet you had still stolen my heart."

Momoi gushes with Aida before both dropping unconscious from the sheer cheesiness.

"Hey, Shin-chan…" Takao pursed his lips. Midorima looked at him, "What?"

"Why didn't you do that to me when you were courting me?"

The greenhead's glasses shone. "Because I never did court you. You only woke up one day and suddenly kissed me and declared yourself my official partner in every sense of the meaning."

"But still…" The owner of the Hawk Eye pouted.

"Isn't Akashi sweet, Furi-kun?" Kuroko dryly commented while perched on Kagami's shoulder.

"Hey, Kuroko, why don't you get down now?" Kagami grunted, his boyfriend is light as a feather but he was clinging on his head too hard.

"No." The bluenette replied briskly. Kagami whined, "Why?!"

"Because…" And their conversation ended at that when Kuroko clenched harder when Himuro waved at them. They got bad blood here and there because of the fact that Kagami still seems to care a lot about the raven haired player and that Murasakibara does too towards Kuroko.

Awkward, I know. We all know.

"Heh…" Kise giggled giddily. Kasamatsu looked at him weirdly.

"What are you giggling for?" The captain asked hesitantly, he really does not care at all.

Kise brightened. He looked around before bending to whisper, "That's my idea!"

You see, when Kasamatsu says that he really does not care at all, he really means that he really, really, really does not care at all. And so, he walked away hurriedly after his team leaving his dejected lover behind.

"Kasamatsucchi is so cute when he's being a tsundere!" Kise giggled. Yes, he giggled. He giggled after being abandoned.

"Kise-kun sure is masochist." Kuroko commented dryly again as they passed by the giggling fool.

"Kouki? What's wrong? You seem frozen." Akashi stared at the motionless Seirin player. He poked it idly before witnessing it crumbling away. "Eh?"

The ashes of Furihata assembled again to form a human being. Akashi stared more, "Kouki?"

Furihata blushes tenfold before rushing away. Akashi smirked, "He's so cute. Wait, I've forgotten to give him a kiss… Next time then."

He walked away, two unconscious girls forgotten.

OoOoO

"Eh? We're not sharing a cabin with the rest of our team?" Furihata asked when he entered the cabin his captain gave him.

Himuro puts down his book along with his reading glass. "It seems so."

Takao beamed at him while plopping down. "It was said to be draw lots each but I think it was a set up to bring all the cute little ukes in one place, ya know what I mean?"

"Cute little ukes my ass." Kasamatsu sat down on top of the bunk bed, "They're practically crawling on our cute little fingertips."

Kuroko chuckled which startled everyone. "What an interesting perspective, Kasamatsu-san."

Kasamatsu waved his hand. "Kasamatsu is fine. And, am I not right?"

Silence. Which also means that yes, Kasamatsu is right. Because hey, we can't deny that they're practically whipped semes wrapped around their palms.

"But!" Furihata intervened. "I'm not anyone's uke!"

"You will be." A paused for Kuroko. "Soon enough."

"I'm sorry for being late!" Guess that really completes the ukes.

"It's okay, Sakurai-kun." Kuroko smiled slightly, he rather likes him for no apparent reason but because of him being cute. He likes cute things a lot, it was proven when Aida made them looked at a picture of Papa but then instead of seeing the foreigner, it was a picture of a kitten.

"I'm sorry!" He keeps on bowing, fidgety as always.

The apologizing fiasco going on in their cabin was interrupted by a loud knock.

"Dinner's ready." A smooth voice said. When they open it was one of the handsome athletic butlers running around, Takao sighed dreamily and so did the others.

"Well, I'm full now that I saw you." He blurted, the handsome man probably in his early twenties blushed.

Someone cleared their throat. That someone was actually six people. Six overly jealous and possessive people.

"What did you just say, Takao." It's not a question rather it came out like a statement like Midorima planned it to be.

Takao stilled. Busted.

"Kaoru, please have a two-week break. Tell the other butlers as well." Gold and red eyes glinted. The butler stood erect before bowing and running off to tell the others that they're free for half a month.

"Kuroko, did you think the same as Takao?" Kagami glared at the running man. Kuroko smiled.

"And what if I had?" His smiled widened when his partner pulled him towards his arms before carrying him to the diner. Kagami is so cute, he thought.

The others then proceeded, each having their own partner tightly besides them.

"Oh, and Kouki?"

"Y-yes?"

Akashi kissed him.

Momoi screeches when she saw what the redhead just did. The idiot!

Furihata sat down dazedly after the kiss. He really can't deny the fact that Akashi is such a good kisser with the softest of lips.

The dinner was loud and chaotic, all thanks to Kagami and Aomine who started a food fight. Which is not really that kind of food fight.

Food fight in the sense that they're fighting over food by trying to outdone the other by eating. Then, Izuki just had to tell a lame joke about betting on them.

"You know that Aomine wouldn't last. Kagami-kun got a black hole for a stomach when he's hungry." Kuroko said, Sakurai looked at him and huffed.

"Aomine-kun has the size of the universe for a stomach when he's hungry."

The two glared at each other. Yes, they're trying to outdone the other by comparing their boyfriend to something ridiculous which indirectly lead to insulting the two eating monsters.

"Silence!" Akashi finally demanded when he was hit by a pineapple. He stood up and walks towards Furihata, face set on a solemn expression.

"Kouki, you're very important to me that's why I'm telling this first to you." He ignored the fact that they have an audience. Furihata looked at him curiously, left hand putting down his juice.

"What is it, Akashi-san?" The brunette stares directly on the emperor's orbs.

"I've got good news and bad news for you." Akashi said seriously that the others just can't give them privacy. "What do you want to hear first?"

Furihata gulped. "T-the bad news first please."

"I had been very sick lately. And the doctor said that my case is a hopeless case." Furihata gasped at what the former GoM captain just said.

Worried, the brunette's eyes watered. "Akashi-san…"

"Oh. Akashi got AIDS." Aomine snorted earning a loud smack from one pink haired manager. "OW!"

Then earning a loud apology from his boyfriend when said boyfriend smacked him in the head too for ruining the moment. Then he received another injury when a red scissor came flying towards him and made a gash on his cheeks.

Furihata cleared his throat and tried to act maturely for Akashi's sake. "And the good news?"

"There's a cure to it."

Furihata visibly brightened. "What is it? I'll help you!"

"You."

The brunette blinked. "Eh?"

Then as if being hit by the Titanic, the realization sunk in hard. Akashi is giving him another pick up line again. He blushes then a loud thud was heard.

"Heh…" Kise giggled, "It's my plan."

"No one cares." Kasamatsu gritted his teeth before rushing towards the commotion going on.

Furihata fainted.

"Akashi affected Furi-kun with his AIDS." Kuroko looked at Akashi from his seat on Kagami's lap.

"What?" Akashi snarled, he so does not have AIDS! He's still a virgin for goodness sake!

"Ah, you know, Akashi In Diehard Seduction or AIDS as Aomine-kun had just said."

TBC

I just graduated with honours days ago! :D! Congratulation to meeeeeeeeeeee! Hehehehehe. Told you I was working very hard to graduate with honours that's why I didn't have a time to update. Sorry! I'm off to college two months from now! And I'm off to my dream university!

Anyway, I rather like Kise's plan… ehehehehe.

REVIEW!