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Bad behaviour

Possibly my very favourite kind. And it's been in abundance recently on the UES; first there's S and N's impromptu hook-up at Senior Spa Day, then there's B and D engaging in some late night wrestling... behind V's back. So, my little darlings, why not follow the trend? Dare to indulge! It's nearly graduation after all, and we deserve it.

Dinner dates

I'm all for being wined and dined at some of New York's hottest restaurants, but there's something oddly romantic about D cooking dinner for B, who's probably been to so many classy places that she's jaded. So gents, although us ladies love it when you splash the cash, save your dough for the fancy jewellery and cook us some dinner... and possibly breakfast in bed.

Sightings

S dashing out of Shin Yu's Chinese, carrying take out boxes and wearing a guilty expression... and some truly fabulous Seven jeans. N placing an order at Tiffany for something expensive... and hopefully a little more tasteful than that gold heart pendant he bought B when they first started dating. J and her daddy at Luigi's Italian- been sent out of the house, have we? B flagging a cab outside D's apartment building. Naughty! V tripping over a homeless guy on the way home from Shin Yu's. Those hobos really do get in the way.

Your email

-Gossip Girl

My sister's rooming with this total UES princess- it's so unlikely. Apparently she's decorated the apartment (which we used to share) lavender and filled it with expensive furniture- how can I ensure that my sister doesn't become one of those label-whore bitches when I'm touring Europe?

-Rubes

-Dear Rubes

If your sister's roommate isn't careful, they aren't going to be living together for much longer anyway, so I wouldn't worry.

-Gossip Girl

-Dear GG,

So I totally deserved the role of graduation speaker but this girl in my year who's like, a total bitch, totally bribed our headmistress and there wasn't even a vote. Any advice?

-RainOrShine

-Dear R.O.S.

You want my advice? Get over it.

-Gossip Girl

That's all for now my lovelies- finals start next week and I'm getting my rest. Who am I kidding- I'm off to scrounge more gossip for you, so you don't have to. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

You know you love me,

Gossip Girl

You've gotta be kind to be cruel...

"Honey I'm hoooome!" Blair attempted nonchalance as she swung open the badly-in-need-of-repainting apartment door. She was greeted by the smell of Chinese food and her stomach turned over in guilt.

"Hey," Vanessa called, not bothering to move from her position on the couch. A container of untouched egg fried rice sat beside her, and Blair eyed it hungrily. She needed something to quench the guilt.

"What's up?" Blair carelessly tossed her pale grey Abercrombie & Fitch cardigan to one side and padded into the living room.

"How was dinner?" Vanessa asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Boring," Blair rolled her eyes. "Total chick-flick garbage, but I think the peer group enjoyed it."

"And Serena?"

"She was texting Nate the whole time. I doubt she even realised what we were seeing." Blair tried to inject a little bitterness in her voice, but she simply didn't have the heart anymore. Not when she was feeling this confusing mix of happiness and shame and her thoughts were centred around a totally different guy.

"That's weird, because I ran into Serena at the Chinese earlier, and she didn't seem to know anything about your movie plans," said Vanessa accusingly, placing her hands on her hips. In this light, her bald head seemed extra menacing and Blair noticed that she was still wearing her black Doc Martins, and hoped that one wouldn't end up kicking her backside.

"You're acting like a jealous girlfriend," Blair laughed nervously, attempting to diffuse the tension. She didn't want to fight with Vanessa.

"I just don't get why you would lie to-" Vanessa stopped mid sentence, feeling as though an ice cube had just slid down her back. "Dan," she breathed softly.

"What?" Blair suddenly pretending to be very interested in her recently-pedicured toes, which were painted a shade of smoky purple. A flush was gradually making its way along her cheekbones and across her nose.

Vanessa stood up in one aggressive move and stalked towards Blair like a panther hunting its prey. "Fuck. You were with Dan. You smell like him. You were fucking with fucking Dan!"

Sensing she was caught, Blair knew it would be foolish to deny it. "Nothing happened, I swear."

"Nothing happened? Nothing happened?" repeated Vanessa incredulously. "You go and meet my boyfriend-"

"He's not your boyfriend," Blair reminded her, her cobalt blue eyes glinting with triumph. "You've got no right to get angry at me."

"Yes but you know how I feel about him!" Vanessa shrieked.

"That's why I didn't do anything!" Blair half-lied. "All it was was that he was cooking me dinner to say thanks for helping him with his graduation speech. Nothing more to it."

"Bullshit," Vanessa spat.

"Look, Vanessa, he was just being nice. He's crazy about you. He... he told me so."

Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief. "He is?"

"Uh-huh," Blair told her, not trusting herself to say anything more. A wave of paranoia suddenly took her under. What if Dan was still in love with Vanessa? It seemed likely- they were so perfect for each other with their counter-culture images and interest in the arts. Blair couldn't give a fuck about the arts, except of course, the art of shopping. She wasn't going to shave her head or tear up her cashmere. She twirled a lock of her chestnut brown hair around her finger, examining the pleasing lack of split ends and wondering if Dan found it repulsive that she cared so much about her appearance.

"And you- you don't like him at all?" Vanessa looked hopefully at her friend.

"No." Blair hoped that Vanessa didn't notice how shaky the word sounded. She flipped open her diamond encrusted cell phone and showed Vanessa her inbox. "See, we've never even exchanged a text."

Vanessa looked reassured, but Blair's heart was pounding in her chest. Suddenly, the smell of leftover Chinese was repulsive, just like the gum stuck to Vanessa's left boot. She dug her nails into her moisturised, lavender scented palms and bit her lip, hard.

"So, do you think that I should invite Dan over or something?"

Was this a test, Blair wondered. If she said no, it would become all too obvious that there was a... thing... going on between her and Dan, but if she said yes... It was almost too horrible to think about. Dan and Vanessa were made for each other, and she was just some minor Upper East Side complication.

"Yes," Blair cringed, balling her hands into fists. "That's a great idea." She couldn't believe this was happening. Was a cute, artsy poet really going to be taken away from her, the Audrey-Hepburn-esque brunette, by a shaven headed Williamsburg hipster?

Vanessa grabbed her scratched up black cell phone and tapped out a message to Dan, stabbing the worn plastic keys with her thumbs. She was weirdly excited now that her anger with Blair had- mostly- evaporated. It was stupid to think that Dan would be into a girl like Blair.

Yes, but we're young. We do stupid things.

Come on over, D...

From: Vanessa Abrams

To: Dan Humphrey

I've been thinking a lot about you recently and Blair told me what you said the other night. Come over tomorrow night. V.

Sent: 22.37

Received: 13.01

Oh na na, that's not my name...

Dan stared at his phone screen. Even though it was partially obscured by a long diagonal scratch from where

he'd dropped it once, there was no mistaking it. Vanessa wanted him to come over, because of something that Blair had said to her. Blair, who he'd almost kissed last night. Blair, who he'd cooked dinner for and wrestled with.

What the fuck? he thought, but then maybe she wanted him to come over to kick his ass over cooking for Blair, even though she had no right to be jealous.

Who said she was?

He tried to conjure up another feeling as he shoved his battered phone back in his crappy jeans' pocket. He only turned it on once every few days and rarely found a message awaiting him, certainly not one like this... A few days ago he would have been over the fucking moon to get the text. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Blair.

If she'd encouraged Vanessa to invite him over there was no way she liked him. But she'd been about to let him kiss her last night, hadn't she?

So?

When Dan thought of Vanessa, it normally made him want to write poetry and throw up at the same time. But now he felt a feeble kind of affection, not a passion that was painful and wonderful and awe inspiring. Blair on the other hand... How did he feel about Blair? He didn't know her that well, but she just seemed to have a kind of... sparkle. It sounded corny, but she seemed to radiate this shimmery, beautiful energy that made Dan feel alive. He'd barely touched his coffee and cigarettes since he met Blair.

A mark of true love, indeed.

Three hours later, Dan was free and seated in a cab on his way to Williamsburg, unsure of who it was he was excited to see. Blair was amazing, she really was, but he'd known and loved Vanessa for such a long time... They were so right together. Everyone said so. He shifted uncomfortably on the fake leather cab seats, noticing the driver was shaven-headed like Vanessa. But the thought of running his hands all over her stubbly head just didn't excite him the way it used to.

And why's that?

His head and his heart were telling him two different things. Dan could feel a poem coming on.

Oh no.

Your bald head,

Your long brown hair,

Have got me, in despair,

My head and my heart,

My heart and my head,

Just don't seem to agree.

It was, admittedly, a pile of shit, but he couldn't think of any other words to express how he felt. His confusion was messing with his poetic ability.

Shame.

He felt a cold squeeze of dread as the driver pulled up outside Vanessa's all-too-familiar building. He'd even lived here for a while, but it felt more exciting knowing that Blair was inside. The bricks didn't seem so shabby, the graffiti looked more artistic... Even the gross homeless guy outside seemed to be in a better mood.

"Come on up," Vanessa barked when Dan pressed the button. He hurried up the stairs, dodging round some kid's discarded hubba bubba and reached the top gasping for breath and needing a cigarette more than he had done in days. Ignoring his cravings, he rapped on the apartment door and jiggled around awkwardly whilst he waited for one of the girls to answer.

"Hey," Vanessa greeted him, wearing what he thought was an attempt at a seductive smile and a tight black tank top. He felt a pang of guilt for being disappointed.

"Hey," Dan replied, entering the newly-lavender sitting room. Once he'd gotten past the initial shock he realised that he preferred the Blair-ed up version of the room.

"So, I've been thinking about you a lot recently," Vanessa told him coyly, repeating the contents of her text.

"Uh, yeah. I've been, um, thinking about you too. That was the real reason I came over the other day, you know."

Vanessa felt her knees go slightly shaky at the much-missed sound of his voice. She toyed with a belt hook on her black jeans. "Do you want to, maybe, go up on the roof?"

Dan nodded and followed her, scanning the apartment for Blair. He felt oddly disloyal going up to the roof with Vanessa, but it wasn't as though anything was going to happen.

Oh, really?

"It was sweet of you to cook Blair dinner the other night," Vanessa told him, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She fiddled with the hatch of the door to the roof, determinedly not looking at him.

"Did she... did she say anything about me?" Dan asked her anxiously, digging in his pocket for a Camel unfiltered.

Vanessa swung open the door onto the roof and hauled herself up. "Not much," she said, deciding it would be better not to tell Dan about their conversation. Besides, it wouldn't exactly be a bad thing if she made it clear that Blair was very not interested in him.

"Oh."

Dan swung himself up after Vanessa and followed her to a pile of pre-arranged blankets on the hot tarmac, which had been baking in the sun. "The view's great up here," he offered lamely.

"You should come up here and write poetry sometime," Vanessa offered eagerly. "In fact, you could write some right now..."

Dan didn't say anything and instead lifted his cigarette to his lips and lit it with his crappy neon-green lighter. "How's Aaron?" he enquired.

Vanessa paled a little. "He's fine."

"How would he feel if he knew you were up here with me?"

"He doesn't have to know."

So she was trying to seduce him. The problem was, Dan didn't know whether or not he wanted to be seduced.

"Have a drink," said Vanessa, pushing a glass towards him. Dan took a tentative sip and discovered that it was a not-altogether-unpleasant mix of vodka, wine and orange juice. Feeling uncomfortable, he took a few large gulps.

"You know that Aaron and I aren't serious, right?" Vanessa blurted suddenly. Dan glanced at her mid-swallow, completely taken by surprise. Part of him was screaming to get out, to get out now, but another part, the part that was hurt by Blair's rejection, the part that the alcohol was already affecting, was telling him that it might be interesting to stick around.

"You make a nice couple," said Dan stupidly.

Vanessa set her glass aside and lunged at him.

At first he didn't realise what was happening. All he knew was that one minute he was drinking as fast as he could and the next he was being pounced on by his shaven headed ex. But suddenly he realised how much he'd missed her, how nice it was to feel her body on his, to be kissed and loved and licked and adored...

Their mouths were moving fast. They couldn't get enough of each other. Everything was new and exciting and all he wanted was more. Her mouth moved away from his and went downwards to kiss his neck. It was an explosion of taste and touch and passion and heat and... He'd never felt anything like like, never been with anyone like...

"Blair..." Dan moaned.

Vanessa jerked away from him as though she'd been burned. "What?" she demanded.

"I- nothing..." Dan could hear the slurs in his own voice.

"Did you say Blair?" Vanessa big brown eyes were shining with tears.

"Vanessa..."

"Get out." She had never looked so menacing as she did now, even in his intoxicated state. What had Vanessa put in that drink?

"I want Blair..." he whimpered, sounding like a child. He couldn't stop his mouth from saying exactly what was on his mind.

"Go and find her then, Dan! Just get the hell away from me!"

Dan couldn't understand why she was so upset. He sat there dumbly, his mouth half open, unable to piece together what had just happened.

"GO!" Vanessa screamed. Dan slowly stood up and stumbled towards the hatch. Vanessa charged forward and shoved him with all her might.

"Hey!" Dan whined. But Vanessa didn't seem to hear him. She was hitting him wherever she could reach, but Dan just didn't understand why...