Dead Ends and New Beginnings
Part 3 of 3
Disclaimers: Characters belong to Joss, blah, blah, blah…
Notes: Takes place sometime after Wrecked and all events leading to it has happened. From Tara's point of view.

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I'm really starting to hate this place.

The first thing I notice is the sounds. The beeps and hums from the monitors, the hiss from the pumps. The next thing is the smell or in this case the lack of any, that's probably because something in my nose. I slowly reach up. It's a tube. Right, the hiss, it's the oxygen tube. I open my eyes but everything is too bright and blurry. As my vision slowly adjusts a figure appears but all I see is a silhouette against the light.

"Hey there." It greets.

I try to focus and I notice the blonde locks so I reply. "Hey Buffy."

"You know we really have to stop coming here." She mockingly berates.

"They're going to name a wing after us." I joke.

"They should at least offer us Frequent Flyer Miles." She plays along.

"So it's agreed. We'll stick to the Bronze for hanging out. The hospital food and atmosphere just doesn't compare."

"Hey! Don't be dissing the hospital jello."

I chuckle a bit, which causes her to smile. Then she turns to look behind her.

"Should I wake her?" she asks.

I turn my head to follow where she's looking and curled up like a cat is Willow sleeping in the chair. I lose myself for a moment just watching her breathe. I smile wistfully.

"No, let her sleep... Wait, isn't she supposed to be in bed too?" I turn back to Buffy. "How long was I out?"

"A couple of days."

A couple of days!?! "W-What happened?"

"Willow found out about you leaving and she checked herself out. Hey don't give me that look, she's my best friend. What was I supposed to do? She then guilted me into helping her look for you so we went to the train station but we were too late. We heard that your train was being attacked by a demon so we came for the rescue."

"Did she…" I had to ask.

"No." she reassures me. "She helped by getting the passengers out of the way. The non-magical way." She tags on the last line for my benefit.

"The passengers…the little boy, is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine. We found him shielded by you underneath the rubble. Actually his family came by earlier to see how you were doing." She nods towards the bedside table and I turn to see it filled with flowers, cards, and a teddy bear. "They want me to call them the moment you're awake so they can thank you personally for saving their son."

"And the demon? It looked like the one from the house."

"It was but it's of the slayed variety now. Anya and Xander did the research thing. It's...it was a soul harvester. It seeks out mystical souls. We think that's why it kept on following you. It's pretty low on the totem pole of intelligence and it doesn't really like to work in groups so we think it was a one-off but just in case we're going to keep an eye out for you okay?"

"Thanks." I reply gratefully.

I try to sit up but searing pain shoots up my back and I can't help but to let out a grunt. Which causes the sleeping redhead to wake up immediately. It takes her a minute to figure out the unfamiliar surroundings but she eventually spots me and quickly heads over to the opposite side of the bed to Buffy.

"Whoa, easy there." Buffy carefully lifts me up with one arm while Willow repositions my pillow so I can comfortably lean back against the headboard.

"Are you okay? Do you need the nurse?" She asks, concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks." I say to the both of them as they dote around me like old grandmothers.

Buffy notices that Willow and I are making every effort to avoid each other's eyes. I know that she can feel the tension between us.

"You know what I'm gonna go give the rest of the gang a call to let them know you're awake. You two talk while I'm gone, okay?" she orders, and then slowly backs out of the room.

Willow busies herself with my blankets. Neither of us says anything for five minutes before she finally looks up at me.

"Do you hate me that much that you couldn't even stay in the same town?" she asks sadly.

"No, I loved you that much to leave you." I reply solemnly.

"What kind of fuzzy logic is that?!" incredulous.

I try to stifle a giggle but I know that she caught it by the dirty look she gives me.

"It's not funny." She says seriously.

"I know, I know... Someone once told me that when you love someone so much, you become willing to give up everything for them… What did magic give you that I couldn't?" I ask.

Her anger quickly dissipates. She sighs and sits on the side of the bed facing the dark window overlooking the town.

"For the most of my life no one really saw me. Not my parents. None of the kids at school. Not even Xander. It wasn't until I met Buffy did people finally start to notice I existed and even then everyone saw her first. I was just her pale, geeky shadow. Magic made people notice me. Magic made you notice me."

"No, someone named Willow Rosenberg made me notice you. Magic may have brought me to you that night but it was you that I fell in love with." I wait for her reaction but she doesn't turn around. So I continue." For the most of my life, I tried to hide. To hide from the mean kids at school. To hide my sexuality, my magic, and from my family who disapproved of both. It wasn't until I met you that I actually start to live. You made me stop hiding Willow. Without magics, just you."

"I just wanted to contribute. Buffy was saving the world every night with her Slayer powers. Magic was something I could master, something I could control to help people."

"See that's the thing. Magic isn't about control. It's a gift. It's about giving and receiving. It's asking the goddess and the elements to grant you a favour in return for your responsibility with the gift." I explain.

"I did it to save people."

"Dark magics done for good intentions are still dark magics."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, eh?"

"No, it's paved with frozen door-to-door salesmen. On weekends many of the younger demons go ice skating down it." I say with a grin.

"Very funny." She flashes me a look.

"What? It was a good book."

She can't help but smile. "It was."

And we finally look at each other. I mean really look at each other and it's like the first time again. When we first got stuck in the laundry room, we knew then before we actually really knew each other. Just like now we know that if we strip away the recent events, the magics, our own insecurities and fears, what's left between us is passion, pure unadulterated love. If I could I would take this moment, where everything around us and the rest of the world has cease to existed, and live in it forever. I want to hold on to this moment and create a new universe around it.

She takes my hands into hers. "So where does this leave us?"

Hopefully with each other? "I don't know."

"Please don't go. I'll really stop this time. I'll do anything for you." She pleads.

"No." I reply and her expression falls. "Don't do it for me, or for Buffy, or even for the world. Do it for yourself. Anything else would be for the wrong intentions and deep down you know that."

She nods in reply. She then notices that I haven't said that I'll stay, so she asks again.

"Are you still going to leave?"

I hesitate just a bit. "No, but I'm not ready to move back in with you guys yet."

She's a little disappointed with that but is willing to accept it over my previous choice.

"That's still better then what I had two days ago." She says with a weak smile.

I pat the side of the bed and she lies down next to me. The road to love and life is tricky at best. A lot of us get lost along the way but a while ago we made a promise to always find each other. I have every intention of keeping that promise. The past is gone and the future is ahead. There are no guarantees but we're going walk this road together, slowly and one step at a time. I turn and give her a feather light kiss. Starting…

Right here. Right now.

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FIN