SHIELD Recruit Survival Tip #3:
"Please do not offer to 'expose' Steve Rogers to the 21st century."
Agent Collins stared at the clipboard in his hands with acute fascination. He wondered if his evaluation sheet had looked half as good as Dmitri Novak's. He imagined that it would have to—SHIELD Agents had to have exceptional proficiency in a plethora of areas, from being able to assemble, load, and empty a standard issue Glock .40 in under seventeen seconds, to having extraordinary people skills. Dean would like to think that he had a one up on the guy considering how low he'd scored in Social Encounters, but knew that his Proficiency levels had made the man worth keeping on. He hummed under his breath, making a note on the chart before he flipped to the next assessment sheet.
A nudge from the Senor Agent on his left had him glancing up from the clipboard with a mildly glazed look in his eyes. Coulson's brow quirked up bemusedly, and there was a curious glint in his steely gaze that made Dean feel strangely analyzed. He cleared his throat, as if cueing the older man to speak.
"Too boring for you?" he asked, and the brunette was instantly confused. "The babysitting job? Is it too boring for you? Because I can always put you back on—"
"What? No! No," he shook his head as they walked along a corridor in the newly instated Avengers Tower; he'd been working closely with Coulson, helping keep the gaggle of heroes from tearing each other apart. Otherwise known as babysitting. Otherwise known as surprisingly boring. "It's… loads of fun. I'm just going over these profiles—you know how yawn-worthy paperwork can be."
"Ah, yes," Phil agreed amiably, but Dean couldn't help but feel that he was being let off the hook. "I remember having to do those when I first started. It lets us see how good you are at picking new recruits. You'd be surprised how valuable a talent that can be."
It was surprising to hear. Phil Coulson wasn't famous for trying to relate with the newest members of the SHIELD 'team'. In fact, he generally kept a certain distance—a certain aloofness. From the rumors Dean had heard he was only ever kind to two kinds of Agents—ones that showed extreme potential, and ones that were about to get extremely canned. He desperately hoped it was the former.
He was about to reply, ready to ask what happened to the people who showed that talent, when he was abruptly cut off by a disgruntled and flustered Captain America, who came barging from out of what looked like the Avengers' entertainment room (Dean was still getting a hold of the layout—he'd only been there for the last couple of days during his off time). Blue eyes glanced over at them, and he was genuinely surprised to see the other man grow redder. He stammered slightly, falling over his words as he tried to excuse himself, even as a worried expression took hold of Agent Coulson's face.
"Captain, are you alright?" he asked, brow furrowed.
"F-Fine!" He exclaimed nervously, and Dean figured it was probably a good thing that at least one of the Avengers couldn't lie to save his life. "Just, uh… I was just—"
"Oh, c'mon, Capsicle!" Tony poked his head out, grinning from ear to ear. "You're missin' the best part."
Steve sent the other man a dirty glare before he twisted around and stalked off—if Dean had to guess, he'd say he'd gone off to go brood somewhere in private. He'd seen his little brother do something similar enough times before. Blinking, he turned back to watch as Coulson berated a smirking Anthony E. Stark. The Anthony E. Stark. A man that he'd only seen on video and in Time magazine. It was odd seeing him in person.
"What have I told you, Stark?" Coulson crossed his arms, looking very much like a scolding father. "We do not 'expose' Captain Rogers to twenty-first century media."
"Thor seemed to be enjoying it," he shrugged nonchalantly, and Dean wasn't sure if Coulson was going to rip his head off or rip his heart out. "Not my fault Steve ran off like a blushing virgin on her wedding night at the sight of a little skin."
"That's because Thor is from a planet full of warriors. Steve is from the forties," he informed him dryly; Agent Collins got the distinct feeling that they'd had this conversation before. "He's polite. And it would serve you well not to embarrass your resident super soldiers, Stark."
Dean stood, sort of dumbstruck, as Coulson walked away. He assumed that the older man was going after their very own Man Out of Time, and figured it would be best if he handled it alone. The downside was that he was currently stuck with Tony Stark. A pouting Tony Stark. He swallowed thickly, clutching his clipboard tightly to his chest.
"If it, um…" he cleared his throat as dark eyes landed on him. "If it makes you feel better? Captain Rogers probably wasn't just acting like a blushing virgin."
Tony paused, and then a wicked grin spread back across his face. There was a chortled gratitude, and a hand clapped companionably on his shoulder for an instant. Hesitating for a moment, he offered up a small nod before he began walking again. He had paperwork he could be doing, and superheroes he definitely should be avoiding.
TBC.
