The snow was gently falling outside on Christmas morning as Emma tucked into her cup of coffee at her desk. She worked every Christmas since she began her journalism career, and most years even volunteered for it. She actually preferred it this way. Growing up in the foster system meant that she never experienced what the big deal was about celebrating the holidays with family. So she figured it was no problem being in the office and letting her fellow co-workers spend time with their loved ones.
It also gave her a chance to catch up on the things she never had time to do otherwise. She planned to sort through the papers on her desk and clean out her drawers. She might even get her computer files organized and her email cleaned out.
Emma walked into the photo department and grabbed their big trash can from the corner, dragging it towards her desk as the smell of warm donuts began to fill the air. Warm donuts? She didn't bring warm donuts.
"Swan?"
She turned to see Killian standing behind her, box of donuts in his hand and a look of shock on his face.
"You're working today?" Emma asked. "I didn't see you on the schedule."
That seemed to break Killian out of his moment, and he gave her a sheepish smile. "I'm trying to get a jump on some work before I go on vacation in a few weeks." He walked over and put the box down on his desk. "Help yourself to a donut. I brought extras."
"Thanks," she said quietly. "I just made a pot of coffee in the break room if you want some."
"You're the best, lass," he said as he hung up his coat. "Do you need a refill?"
"No, but thanks."
He nodded and grabbed his mug from his desk to head to the break room. Emma watched him go, not sure of how to read him today. He was definitely more subdued - maybe Christmas didn't hold good family memories for him either. And he seemed a bit nervous for some reason.
Of course, there was also the issue of space. Emma had needed to distance herself from him after what happened a few days ago when he had been complimentary and close and warm. She hadn't expected Killian Jones would make her feel things she never thought she would feel for him.
"How can that donut box still be closed?" he said as he made his way back to her.
"Just thinking about what I have to do today."
She gave herself an invisible pat on the back for her quick but reasonable explanation to cover up for the fact that she had been thinking about him.
Emma walked over and lifted the lid on the donuts, expecting to find a typical donut assortment. Instead, it looked like a Christmas icing explosion. There were red and and white and green ones with sprinkles and stripes and extra frosting. A few looked like holiday wreaths.
"Anything look good to you, Emma?" Killian asked quietly.
"Yea."
She grabbed one out of the box without thinking about it, not sure if Killian's question had really been about the donuts or something else. Hell, she wasn't sure if her answer was about the donuts either.
"So," he said matter-of-factly as he sat down across from her. "How did you get stuck working the holiday this year?"
"Didn't get stuck. Volunteered." She looked up from her donuts to find Killian giving her a perplexed look. "I was a foster kid, so I don't have family or anything so…." Her voice trailed off, and she hoped Killian would fill in the blank as she took another bite of her donut to mask the silence in the newsroom. "What about you?"
"Oh, it's just me and my brother, Liam. He lives in London, and since tickets are so expensive this time of year, I usually do Christmas with him in January. Hence, I'm here banking some work up for when I'm gone." He took a sip from his cup and smiled. "That coffee is so good, Swan." He raised his mug to her and smiled. "Merry Christmas."
She smiled and tipped her mug in his direction. "Merry Christmas."
And then she spent the next hour doing what she could to not stare at the man sitting across from her as they got work done. He seemed to be doing the same. Occasionally she would look up from her pile of trash to see him concentrating on his computer screen, his frustration slightly hidden by the long hair covering his forehead. Emma's hands would twitch slightly, wanting to push it off his face and then use that as an excuse to run her hands through his hair.
That's when she would catch herself and quickly stare at her desk. It didn't matter what it was. Her papers or mug or keyboard. Whatever it took to clear her head. But that was becoming harder and harder as the day wore on. What had happened to her? Two weeks ago, she brought over a cardboard box of all her desk items, bemoaning the fact that she was going to be stuck next to the list guru. And now? Now, she wondered when exactly her contempt for Killian Jones had turned into something completely different. When did he start making her feel all warm and fuzzy? Maybe it was the cat gifs or which Hogwarts house he would want to be in. Or maybe it was the time he honestly told her that she deserved to get a good present from a man for Christmas.
She kept trying to distract herself, moving things around, making sure there wasn't any breaking news, checking her inbox for emails that were never going to show up today. But the snow outside and the quiet inside began to make her feel more cozy, comfortable, and content. Maybe being here with Killian wasn't the worst thing after all.
"Swan?"
"What's up?"
She looked over from her nearly empty desk to see Killian's eyes darting around his computer screen. "I'm saving a file and eating lunch. Do you have something in the kitchen I can get you?"
Emma shrugged. "I figured I'll just piece something together from the vending machine."
He turned to give her a stern look. "You are not eating a vending machine lunch. Do you like Mexican food?"
"Yea, but it's Christmas. The Mexican place downstairs is closed."
Killian gave her a knowing smile and got up from his desk. "Wait here, and promise you won't give those machines your money while I'm gone."
"I promise?" she replied apprehensively as she watched him walk away.
If that man came back with food for her, she had no idea what she would say. This all was so weird. Killian had been working for the paper for almost a year now, and she had done everything in her power to stay out of his way. But it had only taken two weeks of sitting next to him to make her realize she had been so mistaken about him.
"Alright, Swan. I hope you like enchiladas!"
Emma turned to see him walking back with two plates in his hand. The bastard had food for her.
"I know these don't look like the fancy ones from downstairs, but to be fair, I made them myself last night," he explained as he set a plate down on her clean desk. "Fork?"
She slowly took the plastic utensil from his hand without looking up. Of all the things that could make her cry on Christmas, it was going to be some homemade enchiladas that would do her in.
"You OK, Swan?"
"Fine, fine." She quickly looked up to see Killian staring back with a concerned look on his face. "I'm fine. I just…" She took a deep breath, hoping to steady her voice. "I don't remember the last time someone made food for me."
Killian's lips teased upward into a smile. "It's well deserved," he said sweetly. "Not everyone is kind enough to volunteer to work on Christmas."
"Well, if it's any consolation, this is probably the best Christmas present I ever got so thank you." His smile fell slightly and he scratched nervously behind his ear. "Sorry, complimenting your food like that was a little too much, wasn't it?"
"Not too much," he said quietly as he sat down. "I hope they live up to your expectations."
She gave him a perplexed look that he luckily didn't see with his head stuffed in his plate. Then she took her first bite of Killian's lunch.
"Oh my god, this is good."
"You like it?" he asked.
"From now on, I promise I'll work every holiday if I can have this for lunch."
He smiled as he ate his food. "I have other things I can make that are just as good."
"Don't tease me, Jones. If this is the way you cook, I'll eat whatever you make me."
His silverware paused in midair. "I'll keep that in mind," he said before resuming his lunch.
Something was up with him, and Emma couldn't quite figure out what. He didn't seem like his usual joking self. It was like there was some sort of nervousness or seriously underneath him, and she wasn't sure where it was coming from. Instead, she just continued to eat her lunch and talk about random things with him. Easy things. Superficial things. Things that didn't really matter but still felt good to talk about because she could actually share today with someone.
After lunch, she dug into her email to get as much cleared out as she could before shuffling the last of the papers around her desk to find a home for them. That's when she found her notes that she had specifically set aside for Killian.
"Jones!" she said cheerfully, standing up to look over the cubicle wall at him. "I have a gift for you!"
His blue eyes snapped up at her in surprise. "You have a gift for me?" he asked seriously.
"Don't get too excited. It's just a piece of paper." She handed it over to him with a smile on her face. "A list of assets that the Mills are fighting over as part of the divorce. I thought you could make it into a list. You know, get some more hits."
He took it from her hand and gave her an awkward smile. "Oh, right. Thank you. This is actually really useful."
She stared at him as he put it down on his desk, his eyes purposely avoiding hers.
"Did I say something wrong?" she asked.
"No. I just uh…."
He scratched nervously behind his ear again before taking a deep breath and standing up, his hand slipping into the work bag on his desk. He pulled out a small box wrapped in the comics page from the Sunday paper and walked over to Emma with it.
"I was just going to leave this on your desk, but since you're here." He smiled nervously. "Sorry, but I didn't have actual Christmas paper so I had to improvise."
Killian's hand was shaking slightly as he held the box out for Emma to take, but she was too stunned to move.
"What's that?" she asked.
His nervous smile grew tight as he pushed the package closer to her. "Merry Christmas, Emma," he said quietly.
She slowly took the box from him, the newspaper rough under her fingers as she looked back up at him with surprise. "What is this?"
He shrugged and nervously shifted on his feet. "I couldn't let you go another Christmas without getting a good gift from someone who cared about you."
Emma stood there staring at him, stunned that there was a gift in her hand. From him. She had to lean against her desk to keep her legs from giving out as she finally began to rip the paper off of his gift. Underneath it was a small black box with a top that she slowly lifted off with shaky hands, and inside lay a shiny silver necklace with a small swan charm on it.
"I thought a Swan needed a swan," Killian explained. "May I?"
He reached out his hand for the box, and Emma could only nod in response, too stunned by his present to her. He gently laid the box on her desk and pulled the necklace out, undoing the small clasp. Then he pulled himself close to her so he could put it around her neck, his arms wrapping around her, enveloping her in his warmth. She could feel the heaviness of the charm around her neck before he let go and smiled down at her.
"It looks good on you, Swan," he said quietly. "Merry Christmas."
Her hand reached for the charm, cool against her chest, as she tried to say something, anything in response. But she couldn't. Her throat felt closed off, pulling all of the emotion in her body to that one spot. A few weeks ago, she had dreaded the move to this new desk next to Killian Jones. Now, she couldn't imagine what her Christmas would've been like without him. But how could she say that to him? Explain to him exactly what his gift meant to her.
She couldn't. She honestly couldn't find the words. So instead, she stood up her toes and kissed him. He didn't react at first and she worried that she had made the wrong move. But then his surprise disappeared, his arms wrapping themselves around her as he pulled her closer and kissed her harder. She nipped at his lower lip, causing him to moan instinctively in approval before his hand moved higher, threading his fingers through her hair in a way that made her wish they were somewhere other than the office.
And she was right to wish that. She didn't know how long their make-out session had been. She just knew that the elevator dinged in the lobby, causing her to quickly pull away from him and sit down, intent on making sure that whoever was coming into the newsroom didn't get an eyeful of the courts reporter sticking her tongue down the throat of the listmaker.
Killian quickly got the hint and made his way back to his chair just in time for Sidney Glass to come in and relieve them of their Christmas duties.
"Merry Christmas, guys!"
"Hey," Emma said casually.
"Merry Christmas, man," Killian said without looking up at his screen.
The two of them sat quietly as Sidney started to unpack his bag and get set up for the evening shift.
"Anything interesting today at all?"
"Nope," Emma replied quickly. "No, nothing. It was a quiet news day luckily."
There was more silence that was only broken when Killian stood and started packing up his bag. "Speaking of news, I should probably let you news people get to work."
Emma watched as he put his coat on and slung his bag over his shoulder, trying to find a way to say something to him or do something to let him know she didn't want him to leave her, not tonight. But he just gave her a tight smile and said a pleasant goodbye to her and Sidney before heading for the elevator.
Emma's heart ached, her hand instinctively reaching for the swan charm around her neck. It was the only gift a man had ever given her for Christmas, and to get it from Killian made it that much more special.
"Alright, Emma. I'm ready to go," Sidney said from his desk nearby.
Emma's hand quickly let go of the charm, almost as if it had burned her as she tried to focus on doing whatever she could to get out of there.
"The wires are yours, and there's nothing to update," she said.
She packed up her bag and stuffed everything into it - her phone, her laptop, her black box for her necklace. Then she gave Sidney a quick "Merry Christmas," and headed for the elevator, the blood still nervously pumping through her body as she tried to calm herself down.
But the elevator ride didn't help. Walking through the lobby didn't help. Even the cold that hit her cheeks as she stepped outside didn't help. Her body was still humming from Killian's touch and the gift around her neck. She really needed a drink to clear her head and figure out what to say to Killian and how to even get in touch with him. Work email would be weird, right? But maybe she could find his number somewhere. And then what? Hey, I randomly found your number and decided to call. That would be weird, right? Or would it be alright since he did give her a beautiful gift for Christmas?
She trudged through the slush on the street, headed for the Irish pub that had become a second home for so many Boston Star reporters over the years. Emma hoped the familiar surroundings would help calm her and straighten out her head.
The place was dark and practically empty when she walked in. There were a few guys watching the basketball game at the bar and a couple at a table in the corner.
And Killian.
He was sitting at a table near the window by himself, a glass of amber liquor in his hand, staring out at the street. He looked somber as he took another drink from his glass, and all Emma wanted to do was kiss him to make him feel better. This was her chance so why not?
She started walking over to his table, taking a deep breath to work up her nerve. Killian finally turned and noticed her, his blue eyes bright against the darkness of the bar. He put his drink down on the table and stood up to greet her, his face stoic.
"Emma."
She didn't stop walking, didn't get deterred by the lack of his usual smile. Instead, she grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled him down to kiss him. Again. It wasn't as sweet as the kiss in the newsroom. This time, it was territorial. It was Emma telling him that he was hers for now, that he was the gift she was going to give herself. Emma Swan had found what she really wanted for Christmas: Killian Jones.
She pulled away from him, watching as his dilated pupils tried to adjust to the light and the woman in front of him.
"I would like that drink you owe me drink, Jones."
"I can do that," he replied with a smile. "Anything else you want?"
She smiled and leaned in, her cheek brushing against the scruff on his jawline. "You."
His arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her closer. "I can do that, too," he whispered in her ear. "Merry Christmas, Emma."
She smiled and buried her face into the warm crook of his neck as her arms encircled him. "Merry Christmas, Killian."
