From Chapter 2
Danny rounded yet another corner, his breath coming out in short bursts but felt his heart stopped when he heard a loud
BANG!
Then another
BANG!
Chapter 3
The last time was about a year ago.
I also went there in confidence, thinking that everything would just happen smoothly. I've had never expected that it would turn out that ugly. I've had never thought that the seemingly so peaceful apartment was hiding a monster.
John Curtis.
I could still remember the taste of blood in my mouth. I could still remember how my throat had constricted as I coughed out more blood. I could still remember how he'd stood over me, death in his eyes. And I could still remember how I had thought of my children.
I came here tonight thinking only of how lucky I was to be called in just as what I had wished would happen. How lucky I was to be able to prevent hurting myself by sitting in the restaurant as you and her look lovingly into each other and maybe share a kiss or two. Now I'm not sure if I was indeed lucky. I guess 'be careful of what you wish for' was the best way to summarize my predicament. The man lying lifelessly on the ground just a few feet away from me was not a monster. He was just a desperate father trying to save his daughter. He panicked when he heard the siren and it made him lose his self control. And I had to suffer because of that but I knew his daughter would suffer more.
When I'd received the call for this crime scene earlier, I had thought that heaven heard my plea. I just hope that it would hear my plea again this time. Tyler would be out of college soon and I would like to be there on his graduation, beaming like a proud mother would do. Ellie was barely out of high school. She still had a long way to go and she would need me still.
My phone's ringing but my side ached when I reached for it. I tried harder, making the blood soak my shirt more, because I knew it was Tyler calling. It was the tone I'd assigned to his number. Finally, my hand brushed against the cell phone and wincing, I took it out of my pocket. After inhaling deeply, causing my side to ache once more, I answered his call.
"Mom, I bought you something from the mall earlier and I'd like to give it to you now. Ellie said you're at the lab, can we… dad and I, drop by?" Said his cheerful tone on the other line.
I opened my mouth to say 'yes', but my mouth won't form the word. Instead, I coughed weakly on the phone.
"Mom? Are you alright? Is that a siren?" Tyler asked, his tone taking up a worried pitch.
"Ty…-ler." I forced myself to say but then I had to stop because I had to cough. It was like having a fork scratching on my throat. I could hear the tensed voices surrounding me. I could see the blinking lights of red and blue. Then I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
"Jo? Jo, are you al-… Jo! You're shot!" It was Danny. He shouted for someone to call an ambulance to which that person assured him that one was already on its way.
Everything around me was hazy and there were some conversations going on in the distance that I could not understand, as if they were coming from a well somewhere, but Danny's concerned voice was loud and clear. He took my phone away from me and through droopy eyes, I saw him glance at the name on the screen before he put the phone to his ear.
I heard another loud noise somewhere near and it drowned out Danny's voice. I want to know what he was telling Tyler and I tried to ask him not to tell my son that I got shot but then I felt too weak to even open my mouth. A man came into my view. I could not recognize him. He was telling me something but all that I understood was 'feeling', 'shot', 'hospital'. The man put on something on me. An oxygen mask. Then I felt myself being lifted and then laid down again. I was looking up at the sky. It was dark, navy blue, and then I saw a couple of stars, sparsely spread throughout the vast, infinite space over me. Suddenly, the dark sky was replaced by a very bright ceiling. I looked around and guessed that I might be in an ambulance.
Danny sat in the ambulance also, towering over me as I lay still on the gurney, a phone in his hand.
I lifted up my shaking hand, trying to remove the mask from my face. Danny saw what I was trying to do and stopped my hand. I pointed at the phone in his hand instead, wanting to know if Tyler was still on the line. As if understanding what I was trying to tell him with my eyes, he positioned the phone in my direct line of sight and I realized it was not my phone that he was holding anymore. My eyes focused on the screen, squinting to read it clearly. I quickly looked at him when I saw the highlighted name on his phonebook, and shook my head frantically at him, making the bright lights above me spin. He looked at me quizzically, not understanding what I was trying to say.
Don't call Mac. I wanted to say. My head's spinning too much now and I shut my eyes, hoping that it would stop the dizziness.
"I'm just calling Mac to let him know what happened." I heard Danny said.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. Heaving a deep breath, I moved my hand and tried to lift the oxygen mask up from my face once again, much to the chagrin of the paramedic personnel sitting beside Danny.
"No." I croaked before trying to fill my lungs with air again.
"Ma'am, please put back your mask." Said the paramedic personnel in a stern voice, an annoyed expression on his face.
I ignored him and stared at Danny instead.
"En-…gage-…ment" I stuttered, gulping some more air.
Danny appeared to be deep in thoughts, as if debating whether he should still continue calling you.
"I'm… fine." I added, even though my lungs felt like they were collapsing and I could see white spots starting to dance before my eyes.
"Ma'am, you really have to put back that mask. Now." The paramedic personnel reached out toward the mask in my hand but I fixed him with a glare.
"He's… off-… du-…ty." I had forced out before the stronger hand of the paramedic returned the mask in its proper position.
Then I thought someone was covering my eyes because all of a sudden, I could see nothing. The very bright lights on the ceiling earlier suddenly disappeared and my whole surrounding was plunged into darkness. My chest felt heavy and I struggled to breathe. But it was so difficult even to take in a single breath and I felt so dizzy and… nau-…seous… and…
I slammed on my brakes just in time to stop the car from hitting a motorcycle that came out from nowhere. He gave me the finger and I could have gotten out of my car and show him my badge but I'd got no time for him. All I want was to get to you as soon as I could. He swore at me before he went on his way, leaving skid marks on the road. I gripped at the steering wheel tightly, praying He keep you safe. You see, I seldom did that. To pray. Not that I did not believe in Him, but when that tragic day of my life happened, I guess I had questioned Him then. I could not understand why that day should happen at all. I'd blamed him a little, but then I'd blamed myself too. When I'd finally accepted the reality of my life, I stopped blaming Him. But I continued blaming myself. And now I'm praying to Him, hoping that He would not turn a deaf ear this time around. He did not listen to me when I'd asked Him to change your mind and not to continue with the divorce. But I hope He would listen to me now and keep you safe, protect you from harm. I risked a glance at Tyler who was sitting silently in the passenger's side, his eyes fixed on the road. He appeared calm and composed but I could see the silent tears that were falling from his eyes. He would always remind me how great a mother you were because my son, our son, had grown into one fine man: brave and strong but with a heart not made of stone.
"Hey man, what's taking you and Jo so long to come over? The food's almost…" Lindsay turned to face Don when she realized it must be Danny he was talking to on the phone. She wondered why Danny called Don instead of her but did not say anything when she heard Don stopped mid-sentence, his face a canvas of distress and discomfort. His eyes darted at Mac who was smiling at something Christine's uncle was saying animatedly at him. After a while, a few nodding, and grunts as answers, a pale Don ended the call, his eyes bleak, and not meeting anybody's gaze.
"Don, what is it?" Lindsay asked, scared that something bad might had happened to Danny and he did not want to let his pregnant wife know.
Don glanced at her before his eyes returned to Mac, not saying anything.
"Don, was it Danny? Did anything happen to him?" Lindsay pressed, anxiety starting to creep up on her.
Hearing Lindsay's worried inquiry, the whole team's attention was now turned to Don, except for Mac, who was seated beside Christine, three whole tables away from them.
"No, Lindsay. Danny's fine." Don answered, looking at her, before looking at Mac again.
"It's Mac's engagement party. And technically, he's off-duty." Don said, meeting everybody's gazes. "She asked not to let him know yet." He added in a lower voice, as if afraid that the music and clatter in the restaurant won't be able to mask his words.
"What are you trying to say, Don? Who were she and him?" Sheldon asked, curious as to why Don was speaking cryptically.
"It was Jo." Don said, his eyes trained on Mac. "She was shot." He added softly.
Lindsay gasped quite audibly but it was not loud enough to be heard three tables far. Sid frowned at what Don had just said while Adam stared at Don, dumbfounded.
"How is she doing?" Sid asked, afraid of what he might hear. Don not going into details at once was worrying him. He could have already said she was okay and not to worry about her but he did not.
"Danny called from the ambulance. She'd just fallen unconscious." Don said, looking at the assorted flowers as centerpiece on their table. They were all in full bloom, except for one blue rose that was squished on one side. It appeared to be crushed by the amount of flowers on that tiny bowl but Don was amazed on how its color seemed to still be the brightest of the bunch.
Sid shook his head slowly as he exhaled, thinking if he could go to the hospital right now without catching Mac's attention.
"She did not want to let Mac know that she was shot?" Sheldon asked again, confuse of why Jo would ask such thing.
"Engagement party. She didn't want to ruin it." Don answered, taking a swig from his glass of water.
"But we couldn't hide it from him." Lindsay said, her eyes wide in disbelief when it dawned on her that Don was actually planning on fulfilling Jo's request.
"At least for now. Technically, he's off-duty. We could tell him tomorrow." Don said, his voice coming out weaker than he intended it to be.
When nobody said anything, he looked around the table and saw understanding on each and every faces. They knew how hard Mac worked and all of them had been worried about him at one point or another. For the longest time, he had been alone and with just a couple of relationships that lasted only fleetingly, they had always wondered if this day would ever come at all. At last, today came and the thought of taking this happy event from him just felt so wrong. But they also knew that he would not appreciate being kept in the dark.
"We'll be dead if he finds out we hid it from him." Adam voiced out what everybody else was thinking.
"But how do we break the news to him, seeing him that happy?" Lindsay asked, nodding to Mac's direction.
For a moment, nobody said anything. Then Don sat up straight and with a slightly more determined voice, decided on what they should do.
"Jo's condition was still sketchy. I say we wait what the doctors would say and decide if we let Mac know tonight or tomorrow, depending on her condition."
"I suppose we could do that." Adam was the first to break the silence that had stretched longer than what's comfortable, although it was clear in his voice that he agreed with Don's decision quite reluctantly.
"Yeah" The rest of them mumbled one after the other, obviously not convinced of the decision they had just made.
He bent down to pick up the table napkin Christine's little niece had dropped to the floor, when he looked at their table upon standing up. He frowned when he noticed the hushed conversation going on, each one of them whispering nervously to each other, their faces a mixture of fear, worry, and uneasiness. Something was clearly going on and yet nobody had approached him to tell him what. He folded the table napkin and placed it on one of the bar stools before walking toward his team's table.
"What's going on here?" He asked as he neared them, noticing how Adam and Lindsay jumped at his voice, Don paled, Sid coughed, and Sheldon stared down at his plate.
"Where are Danny and Jo?" He asked again when nobody answered his first question.
"Uhhh… they are not yet done. The suspect was shot dead when he tried to escape." Don answered vaguely, making him doubt his answer.
"And?" He pushed, letting them know that he was not about to stop his questioning until they tell him what's really going on. This is the team he had been with for the longest time, after all. He knew them very well and he knew that they were hiding something from him now. It was what bothered him the most. They never hide anything from him. And he feared of what it might be and why they did not want him to know.
Adam moved and he thought he would tell him what was happening but was disappointed when he realized he was reaching for his water. He noticed his shaking hand and frowned but before he could say anything else, he heard Don's voice offering him some answer.
"The robber came back to the crime scene to get something but Jo saw him" Adam's glass clinked against Lindsay's, making Don pause, just as Lindsay's hand flew up to steady her teetering glass.
Don cleared his throat making Mac look at him again.
"…and then the Unis ran after him. When they found him, he was training his gun at someone and when he won't put down his weapon and was about to pull the trigger, they shot him dead." Don finished, leaning back on his seat, his disposition tense and rigid.
Mac stood unmoving, his eyes scanning each CSIs faces, reading into their actions, his mind repeating and analyzing Don's narration.
"To whom was the suspect training his gun? Was anybody hurt?" He finally asked upon realizing the possible reason why they were being careful of what to tell him.
When nobody answered him immediately, he asked again.
"Was anybody hurt?" His tone firmer and a little bit louder now. He noticed the way they all glanced at each other, subtly and nervously.
"Is Danny alright?" He asked, his eyes immediately falling on Lindsay. But she was not acting like Danny was shot. In fact, if he was, Mac believed that Lindsay should have already gone to her husband's side. Right after that thought crossed his mind, another intrusive thought came crashing onto him. His heart pounded with such force that he thought it might crush his ribcage.
"It's Jo." He finally said, but only a whisper came out of his mouth.
"It's Jo. She's shot, am I right?" He tried again, looking around the table. "Adam?"
Adam looked up at him and he saw cold fear in his eyes. And in that instant, he felt sick to his stomach. That look in Adam's eyes was enough to let him know that he was right. But it went straight, and with too much force, to his gut when Adam let his voice be heard.
"Yes. But uhh… she asked Danny not to tell you. It was what she last said before she uhhh… fell unconscious." Adam said restlessly, his eyes never meeting his.
Without wasting any more time, he walked briskly toward the door but stopped when he heard Christine's voice calling him. He turned around just as she halted beside him.
"Christine, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry but I have to go. Jo was shot and…" He did not even know how to continue his sentence as he did not have any idea what her condition was.
"I'm sorry." He said instead and was about to turn toward the door again but he felt her hand on his.
"I understand, Mac. But it's our engagement party. My family's here. Couldn't you ask somebody else to go there instead and just update you of what's happening?" She asked, staring intently in his eyes.
Her eyes spoke of annoyance, adjuration, hope, and later on, defeat, each expression coming to replace the other with each breath that she took without hearing a response from him. And he felt guilty for leaving her alone to face all of their guests but he had no other choice. He did not want to ask somebody to go instead of him. He wanted to be there personally. He wanted to make sure that Jo would be fine. She was his responsibility. She was part of his team.
"I'm really sorry Christine but I can't do that. Please tell your family that I'm really sorry." With that, he gently released his hand from her hold and went out of the restaurant.
I want to be there with her. He thought glumly as he jumped into his car and floored the gas.
I just got off the phone with Danny. He said you regained consciousness half a block away from the hospital but you were hallucinating, talking about a necklace and someone's daughter. He said you slipped into unconsciousness again when they unloaded you from the ambulance and nobody had told him anything yet since. I had sped away from the restaurant minutes ago and although the hospital could not be that far from the restaurant it felt so far away from me. I felt like I'd been driving forever and yet I still could not see even its façade.
After I saw the tear you shed when I broke the news to you the other day, I'd thought of how our friendship had deteriorated over time. I appreciated the fact that you're happy for me and that's what made me feel guiltier. I'd summoned to mind again what Tim used to tell his girlfriend. 'Today is life. Make the most of today.' And I had since decided that I should make it up to you. I want to bring back the kind of relationship that we used to share, and start doing it immediately, not wanting to waste any more time. That was why I asked you to grab a burger with me that night when the plan to celebrate with the team fell through. I had planned on bringing back the things that we used to do together. And that was also why I felt disappointed when you turned me down, I'm just not sure if I was able to hide it from you.
When you were suffering from that terrible headache, I could still remember very vividly how when I'd offered to bring you to the hospital, you cut me off and I was taken aback. I couldn't seem to remember if you'd done that to me in the past but at that very moment, it was like a blade cutting into my flesh. I was just trying to mend the very thing that we had that I'd almost severed but it was as if you could not see my efforts.
I had offered to bring you something to eat instead but you declined me too. I had thought that it might be the opportunity for me to start bringing back the kind of friendship we used to have, wanting to take care of you in return as how you'd been taking care of me ever since. It hurt a bit when you subtly told me that you didn't want me in your apartment. I caught that underlying meaning of your words, Jo. Then, I had thought if that's how you felt too when I'd pushed you away before. And I had wondered of how much had I hurt you in the past.
I just want to make the most out of everyday and patching things up with you was part of it. But you kept on pushing me away. And now I don't even know if I would still be given that chance. You have to hold on, Jo. Don't rob me of the chance to redeem myself and to show you how much you mean to me.
Don't give up, Jo.
Not now.
Not ever.
Hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter :)
Again, you might already be sick of reading the same thing over and over but still I'll say it time and again: THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all of you. I'm just very grateful for all kinds of support that you're giving me. Thank you! :D
Of course, also a staple line at the end of my chapters - please don't forget to review :D Thanks! :D
