A/N: Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
JPOV
I straddled the motorbike, imagining the saddle was her torso, and Bella followed suit. We were ready to leave when all of a sudden, there was a loud crash proceeded by the grating of metal.
I turned around, feeling slightly relieved due to the fact that my darling was still seated in the saddle with a wide grin plastered on her face, regardless of the fact that the saddle was no longer attached to the bike… The cogs and tyres rolled away toward the sunset, feeling the inevitable doom that would have ensued were they to stay.
Part of the bike had been completely demoli-… I mean, it was all my fault! How could I blame her for the bike that was lying in remains about her?
"So," Bella said, still wearing that wild grin and clutching the handlebars, "why am I not moving yet?"
"Bella, love," I started. That was the wrong thing to say. My beautiful marshmallow's eyes lit up as she let out a delighted squeal.
"Eddie!" she cried, her head turning as far as her (rather short) neck would allow, her hair whipping back and forth. Oh yes, how could I have forgotten? That was what he called her.
"Eddieeeee! Oh Eddieeee! Where are you my sexy little slut? Come out, come out wherever you are, my ickle wickle kitten!" she called out. I felt my heart sink into the pits of my stomach, for any lower and I would have already taken advantage of the magnificent creature I had grown to love.
"Bella, darling," I tried again slowly, pleadingly. "We're going to my house for pancakes remember?" She turned to me, an adorable pout on her face.
"Isn't Eddie here? I heard him call me," she mumbled forlornly. I sucked in a deep breath before replying. "No Bella; Eddie," I growled out "isn't here. It's just us. Going to pancake land."
"Oooh, pancakesh! Well then why are we still here? Go, go, go to pancake land!" she chanted. Well at least she isn't thinking about him anymore… "Jakey-poo, how am I going to get there? The rest of the bike is gone!" she cried, astonished. All I could do was gaze helplessly at her, willing myself to think of something vaguely intelligent to appease my dear, dear Bella.
Soon her tears filled her eyes and she started wailing (I could just about make out a distressed "How am I going to get to pancake land?"), flailing her arms about and rocking backwards and forwards.
On one particularly hard rock she pushed herself backwards a bit too hard, the weight of her body and gravity pulling her towards the ground and to my horror, she began to roll backwards (for when one is as round as my dear sweet angel, how could one not begin to roll?)
"JAAAKKKKEEYYYY!1!11" she screamed and I jerked into action. If only her scream was a scream of pleasu- no! This is not the time, I told myself angrily, and I kicked off, racing after her.
As the road was in fact a slope, she picked up speed at a staggeringly fast rate, rolling in such a way that one could not differentiate between her feet and her head. She was just one fast blur of colour, crushing everything that lay in her path.
I drove into the trench that lay in her wake, trying, and failing, to match her tremendous speed.
"BELLA! BELLLLAAAAA!" I called, but then I swallowed a fly. It tasted disgusting, like the smell of vampires. My attempts were in vain anyhow, for my beautiful Bella, shaped like a single perfect bosom, could not hear me, and if she could then there was no chance of her being able to stop.
My heart stopped and then picked up double pace as I saw that we were approaching a level crossing. The barrier was down. A train was coming. And Bella couldn't stop. It was bound to hit her; kill her.
"NOOOOOO!' I cried out as I crushed my foot down on the acceleration, but then I swallowed another fly so I had to close my mouth.
Bella too, realised her fate, and was also screaming out, although, and I could've been wrong, but to me it sounded like her cry was just a muffled "PANCAAAAKESSH!"
She couldn't stop and I couldn't go any faster. Bella was just metres away from the train, which had already come to the level crossing. Feet. Inches. Centimetres.
And with a big crash, she smashed through the barrier towards her fate.
I stopped and shielded my eyes, screaming out to the heavens above as the sound of the almighty smash resounded over the land. I called out, skyward. "WHY GOD? WHY DID YOU TAKE HER? SHE WASN'T READY! SHE HADN'T TASTED MY PANCAKES YET! AND I HADN'T TASTED HER-"
"Hey Jake! I think there's something stuck in my… stuck in my…"
What was this? Was my darling Bella alive?
I looked down towards the tracks, and there, waddling among the debris of the crash, was my beautiful Bella, as round and as healthy as ever. (Well, maybe not healthy, but you know.) She danced her little dance, trying to reach for a piece of the barrier that had become lodged between her buttocks, but her short little arms (and the flab that was in the way) prevented her from doing so.
In no time at all we were back on the road. I was riding along on my motorbike, with her by my side, rolling. Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
BPOV
Jake's house was beautiful, just like a fairy princess castle! It was nestled in an enchanted forest, with an abundance of glowing fairies playing hopscotch on lily pads, and water nymphs darting across the sparkling surface of the stream.
I sighed contentedly, my breath accidentally knocking over a gnarled oak tree on the other side of the clearing.
All of a sudden, a familiar, enticing scent drifted towards me, pulling me in the direction of Jake's sturdy log cabin.
I licked my lips, drooling slightly… [AN: Okay, slobbering. Saliva was gushing out her mouth like a waterfall.] Swaying, I pursued the smell.
"It can't be…"
But alas, it was, and so the round, opaque globule ambled her way towards the log cabin, swaying this way and that in the magical breeze without touching the ground.
The bubble-shaped girl was floating
And on the way she was gloating
She said "Yay! Pancakesh!"
As her ample bosom shakes
The fat on her frame moulding…
… through the doorframe, and with a big –POP!- she was inside.
A/N: We would really appreciate it if you could leave a review ^o^
Also, check out this awesome commission our friend made for us! "Jengskry dot tumblr dot com/post/2832882430" (replace 'dot's and spaces with '.'s).
