Sindari had no idea what time it was when she finally awoke. She knew she was alone though, in the quarters she and Alianna were inhabiting while on board the Enterprise; as the older sister, Alianna had been around all of Sindari's life, so she knew when she wasn't there. She had probably gone to find a gym. Or food. She'd be fine.

Giving her head a bit of a shake, Sindari climbed out of bed and dressed comfortable—jeans and a thin sweater—and ran her fingers through her chin-length hair to tame the bed head. She didn't care that it wasn't completely smooth; she wasn't on duty. With a sigh, Sindari retrieved her personal data PADD and followed the path she'd memorized before bed that would take her to an observation deck. She moved through the halls in a state of concentration, determined not to get lost or have to look for directions; it was the kind of test she liked to put herself through.

When she found the observation deck a little while later, she found it deserted, which was to her liking. Sindari settled herself right in front of the window and spent a few minutes just staring out at the points of starlight.

I hope you're okay, Joe… she thought. And everyone else, too. She sighed, hung her head in her hands, her data PADD on her lap. What will we do if something's happened?

Tears prickled at the back of her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. She had to keep up her positive attitude about the whole situation, even if she didn't feel it. Alianna was already fraying at the mere thought of losing their home, and she didn't have it in her to think positively; it was always the worst possible scenario with her, though she had the experiences to support that way of thinking. From a young age, Sindari had taken it upon herself to be the sunny one, to keep up the façade of innocence for Alianna's sake. She had to believe they might find Captain DeFalco and the others alive. She had to believe everything would be okay. It would help her from getting lost in her thoughts, and it would help keep Alianna from having a breakdown.

Sindari had seen her sister tumble over the edge before. It wasn't pretty.

The last time had resulted in her nearly getting gored by a Klingon bat'leth.

They definitely did not need a repeat of that.

With another sigh, Sindari turned her attention from the stars, from her thoughts, and to the specs of the Enterprise she'd loaded onto her data PADD.

"Are you finding what you wished to know?"

Spock's voice behind her made Sindari jump in her chair, nearly dropping her data PADD. "Holy sh—Spock—Commander Spock," she amended. "Hi. Uhm, yes. Yes, I am. This ship is amazing."

Sindari could have sworn she saw one corner of Spock's mouth lifting up at her reaction. "It is a state-of-the-art vessel. May I sit?"

"Sure."

Spock settled himself on the couch-like bench a few feet away from her, his back perfectly straight, his eyes locked on the view before them. "I took the liberty of viewing your file, as well as your sister's."

Sindari sighed and dropped the data PADD into her lab. "You have questions about Alianna's medical history too?"

"No. I was more interested in you seemingly scattered direction of study." If noticed Sindari's second sigh, he gave no indication. "You began with a focus on piloting and navigation, then switched to a weapons specialization, and just before the incident with Nero, you began training for field medic."

The Vulcan hadn't asked a question, but Sindari felt the need to explain herself anyway. "I lost interest in flying. I think I was only doing it because Ali was, and it meant we could spend some time together when they took the piloting students out for maneuvers. I've always been interested in weapons though—building them, maintaining them, using them—" She paused and cleared her throat to give herself time to banish the sheepish set to her features. "Ali encouraged me to follow my interests, so I switched."

"And the field medic training?"

She snorted. "You watch a sibling nearly get herself gored by an angry Klingon and tell me how much you wished, in that moment, that you had the training to help keep her alive."

His eyebrows rose and he gave a nearly imperceptible nod. "Have you thought about continuing your medic training?"

"Sometimes, but I enjoy being one of the weapons officers on the Marissa. I don't think I would get the same fulfillment being a ship's doctor. But, I suppose I could help out in crisis situations if I did complete it…" Her voice trailed off along with her thoughts. She tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. It didn't feel weird speaking to Spock about her time at Starfleet Academy. Since he'd been one of her teachers, she felt it was quite normal for him to enquire about her studies. She only had a few credits left to complete, ones she could do on board a starship, and he had raised some interesting lines of thought for her to follow.

"If I may ask, why had you put in for a transfer off the Marissa, if you enjoyed your position so much?"

That question did catch her off guard. Sindari gave a start, blinked her green eyes a few times. "Uh… Well…"

"If it is too uncomfortable of a topic, you do not have to answer."

She considered it. "You just… I didn't expect that question." Sindari shifted until she was sitting more upright, her fingers curling around the data PADD. "I… I felt it was time to get some Starfleet experience away from Alianna. She… She spent our childhood… looking out for me. Running off to join Starfleet was the one thing she'd truly done for herself, but she felt so guilty about leaving me behind that, when I joined up, she took up her role as big sister again in earnest, even though I no longer needed to be my guardian." She cleared her throat again, banishing a sudden wave of emotion. When she spoke again, her voice was thicker. "I find myself worrying about her more often than not and I need to think of myself as I finish up my courses. Besides, the Payne had a brand new weapons array installed and I thought, if they accepted my transfer, I could get some good firsthand knowledge."

"A reasonable assumption. Had you spoken to you sister about this?"

"Uhm. No. I was waiting to hear whether or not my transfer was accepted. I didn't see any sense in getting her worked up if there was no reason to."

Spock's eye brows rose again, his expression surprised more than appraising this time. "I must admit, I find the choice surprising, considering Lieutenant Commander Lordeck's attachment to the ship."

"I won't go into the details of Ali's attachment to the Marissa—that's her story to tell—but the ship had always been more of a home to her than to me."

"Interesting."

"I guess."

Silence reigned for a few moments, the Vulcan and the human watching the stars drift past in front of them. The Enterprise was travelling at sub-warp speeds. Curious, Sindari mused. She could only think of a handful of reasons why that would be, chief among them being the ship had neared the last known location of the Marissa.

"Will you go through with the transfer should we find the Marissa out of commission?"

A wry smirk twisted her lips. Out of commission. A nicer way of saying "if the worst came to pass." The doubt and fear of discovering just that welled inside, but Sindari one more tamped it down and summoned her optimism to the forefront.

"Maybe," she said, her voice coming out a touch too sunny for the topic. Spock didn't appear to notice. "But we'll have to wait and see. I'm sure the Marissa is fine. Maybe they're just having a malfunction in their communications array."

"Perhaps."

Silence fell once more, but Sindari didn't mind it so much. She had always found Spock's presence reassuring. She knew it was just his Vulcan heritage, but his stoicism was comforting; it would take a lot to unsettle a Vulcan and, right then, she needed that.

"Lieutenant Commander and Lieutenant Lordeck, report to the bridge."

Sindari's gaze snapped to Spock, who was already on his feet. "I will take you to the bridge."

She nodded and fell in step beside him as they left the observation deck. As they walked, Sindari found it harder and harder to hold onto her optimism. Her hands began to shake and she held onto her data PADD tighter to try and hide it. She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Sindari didn't see how the Marissa could possibly be okay—Alianna was right. If they could have, they would have come. They wouldn't have left two of their own to be captured, to perish. They wouldn't have let all those civilians be harmed.

"Lieutenant Lordeck?"

She jumped at Spock's voice and looked around. They were standing outside the doors to the bridge; she didn't remember the ride in the turbolift. "Sorry… Uhm…"

He approached the doors and they hissed open, exposing the bridge, which was a lot quieter than Sindari would have expected on a ship like the Enterprise. It took her a moment to realize why, her green eyes darting from detail to detail, person to person, as she followed Spock to the centre of the bridge. In the middle of the viewscreen was the Marissa, dark and silent. Unmoving.

Anger welled up in Sindari's stomach. She wanted to scream, to hit something, shoot something… But it faded quickly in the wake of her grief. She didn't need Spock to tell her what she was looking at.


Alianna woke up early—probably about 5:00 am, Earth time. It wasn't that unusual for her to be up so early, even when she didn't have to be, but she had been hoping to sleep later. Her body was sore, her mind exhausted. She felt wrung out, stretched thin, and the constant worry about the fate of the Marissa wasn't doing anything to help; what sleep she had managed had been plagued with dreams of the Marissa's demise, the crew mutilated, Captain DeFalco twisted and bloody in his captain's chair.

When further sleep proved elusive, Alianna climbed out of her bunk and quietly dressed so as not to wake Sindari, who slumbered on in the bunk above her. Since they were still technically off duty, they hadn't been given Starfleet uniforms, so she dressed in a pair of black leggings and a teal tunic, and bound her hair in a long braid down her back. It felt odd to be on a starship out of uniform, without duties or responsibilities, but she shoved that discomfort to the back of her mind, tucked her boots under her arm and left her quarters barefoot. Moving usually helped her clear her mind.

Maybe she could even catch a nap later.

A ways away from the quarters she was sharing with Sindari, Alianna accessed a terminal and brought up a map of the Enterprise, searching for a gym. Upon locating one on the same deck, she set off, her boots still tucked under her arm, bare feet slapping on the white floor of the corridor. She passed only two people, who both regarded her bare feet curiously, but said nothing. In the gym, she threw her boots to the corner and headed straight for the punching bag hanging from the ceiling on the far side of a thick mat.

Without taping her hands or preparing in any way, Alianna laid into the bag, the dull thuds of her fists on the thick material filling the room, joined quickly by her short breaths and grunts of exertion as she tried to empty her mind.

She was afraid of what they would find when they reached the Marissa—her home, the one place she had felt safe and secure. There was something gnawing at her gut, far beyond the lingering anger of her near-capture by Orion slavers. She knew something bad had happened, regardless of her lack of evidence; they might not find Captain Joseph DeFalco sitting maimed in his chair, but she was positive they would find him dead.

He would have come to help Alianna and Sindari if he could have. He would have contacted them at some point to see if they were okay. He would never have ignored their distress call.

Alianna gnashed her teeth, her jaw muscles bunching as she attacked the punching bag with renewed vigour.

Everyone had been saved from the slavers—not by her, which always ate away inside—but they had been saved. She too had been saved, and that was almost worse. Alianna had spent her life saving others, Sindari chief among them.

And Sindari was clinging to her hope that the Marissa was okay, that they would find everyone alive and well, and go back to their lives with one more traumatic event to get over. Sindari had always been more of an optimist.

Right then, that pissed Alianna off more.

Struggling with her worry, her fears, her anger, Alianna felt like she was losing touch with herself, her life. She liked her life the way it had been, and she would have given anything to believe she could go back to it. Alianna let out a loose cry and lunged at the bag, her hand hitting the curve of the bag and sliding off with a quick snap. Pain lanced through her hand and up her arm. She tried to continue her attack, but the pain was too much and she slumped against the bag instead, giving another frustrated cry.

"Whoa there," someone said from the doorway.

Alianna jumped back, hands flying up as she held into an attack stance, but she dropped them immediately when she recognized Bones.

He stepped toward her, his mouth twisted down into a frown. "Let me see your hand."

"I'm fine," she snapped.

"You are not fine. You're crying, and your finger it already bruising. You probably broke it, wailing on the bag like you were." Bones didn't wait for her to offer her appendage. He just took it, holding it surprisingly gently as he examined it.

Alianna used her free hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks—she hadn't even realized she'd begun to cry. She hated crying. With a loud sniff, she gathered her composure and swallowed her wince when Bones touched her bruised flesh. "Can you fix it?"

"I could, and quickly too, if my requisitions were ever processed and my temperamental equipment was replaced in a timely fashion. As it stands, we'll have to do it the old way—a brace to hold it in place, and cold for the swelling—unless you want to risk losing it all together."

"I'm fine with a brace."

"Thought you might be." Bones let her hand go and headed for the hall. "Come on," he prompted when Alianna didn't follow.

She grabbed her boots and padded along after the doctor as he led the way to the turbolift, and then to medical. He cast an appraising glance at her unclad feet, snorted, but said nothing. In fact, they walked in silence. In medical, Alianna hopped onto the same table she'd been examined on after being rescued and rested her injured hand on her thigh, her boots on the floor beneath her.

Bones dug around in a few drawers for a minute before coming to stand in front of Alianna. He dropped a few things on a tray that he pulled to his side; at the early hour, there were only two nurses in sick bay, a man and a woman who were currently absorbed in a game of chess. They cast quick glances at Alianna as she came in, but since she was with Doctor McCoy, they paid her no more attention.

"Give me your hand."

Alianna gave Bones her hand, narrowing her eyes when he took her palm in a firm grip in one hand and the top of her broken finger in his other hand. "This is going to hurt, isn't it?"

"Your first broken finger?" Bones asked, one eyebrow rising.

"Hardly, but it's been a while since I've had to have one healed the old-fashioned way." She took a deep breath and let it out slow, affixing her green eyes to Bones's dour face. "All right."

Under normal circumstances, the Enterprise's doctor might have tried to distract his patient from what was coming, but he had Alianna's number. He met her gaze as he adjusted his hold and then pulled her finger straight with a sharp crack, giving a small nod of approval when she barely flinched.

"So," he said as he started to position the brace over the digit, "where were you and Sindari during the whole Nero incident? All the ships that left the academy were destroyed. You're the same age of the captain; you should have been on board one of those ships. How did you two survive?"

Alianna's eyes had dropped to where Bones worked; she was resisting the urge to bend her finger, knowing it would hurt and it would probably mean having it straightened again. Using her other hand, she tucked a few strands that had come free from her braid behind her ear. She didn't really want to answer his question. "Isn't that in my file?"

"All it said was you were temporarily stationed on the Marissa with twenty-four other cadets. Most of the ships that were destroyed have begun to be rebuilt, or their names assigned to recently-completed vessels."

She snorted, but she wasn't exactly sure why. The memories of that time flooded back before she'd given them leave to. Her chest tightened and whatever Bones was doing with her hand faded to the background; she ignored the burning in her eyes. She would not cry in front of the doctor she barely knew. Alianna took a deep breath. "We were on the Marissa in the Laurentian System," she confirmed after a minute. "Initially, Captain DeFalco had taken some cadets interested in learning to fly to practice maneuvers in practical scenarios."

"You fly?"

She nodded. "I do. Sin does a bit, too, but she lost the taste for it after we learned what had happened while we were 'having fun.' She wanted to be in the thick of it—"

"She would have died."

"Doesn't matter." A small smile danced across Alianna's face, but it was gone quickly. "We were both livid that we hadn't been involved. We wanted to help, and so many people died…" She shook her head and blinked back her emotions. "Anyway, the training maneuvers turned into an investigation of the Klingon prison planet that Nero had attacked, and we were there until Starfleet called us back. What we found was… hell."

"I can't imagine you were very patient during all of that waiting."

"Yeah, no." Alianna and Bones shared a brief laugh as he finished securing the brace in place, and wrapping some additional tape around it. "You think I'm going to take it off before you tell me to?"

His answering look was indignant. "Yes."

She opened her mouth to argue, but the anger and other emotions swirling around inside her dissipated, leaving her feeling empty. "You're probably right," she said after a moment. She scrubbed at her face roughly, covered her face with hands.

Alianna heard Bones shifting things around and then was aware of him coming to stand in front of her again. "Are you okay?" he asked. His voice was quiet.

"Just tired."

"And angry and sacred…"

Alianna sat up and glared at Bones, her green eyes flashing as her anger surged. "You don't know what I'm feeling," she snapped.

"I can make a pretty good guess, darlin'."

Alianna hopped off the examination table, forcing Bones to take a step back. She glared and opened her mouth to tell him his southern American charm held no sway with her, but a voice came through the panel on the wall and brought all conversation to an end.

"Lieutenant Commander and Lieutenant Lordeck, report to the bridge."

Alianna froze, the tightness in her chest increasing until it was nearly impossible to get a breath.

There was only one reason she and Sindari would be called to the bridge of a ship they didn't serve on. They'd found the Marissa.

The images that had plagued her dreams came back—her friends, her family, her crew, lying bloody and dead throughout the ship; Captain DeFalco mutilated in his chair—and she forced herself to blink, to remind herself that there was a chance they were still alive. Bones might have been saying something to her, but his voice was just a hum in the distance.

She was suddenly cold, terrified.

Her hands balled into fists, her braced finger resisting and sending a shock of pain up her arm. It cleared her head just enough to spur her into movement.

She started running, aware that Bones was following her, calling her name to try and get her to slow down. His words broke on her like waves on a beach. Alianna slammed into the back wall of the turbolift when she failed to slow down fast enough, her hands scrambling over the controls as she scanned for the one that would take her to the bridge.

Bones reached over her shoulder and pressed the correct button. His eyes, actually showing some concern, met hers briefly. They rode to the bridge in silence.

When the doors of the turbolift opened again, Alianna hurried down the corridor, the doors to the bridge sliding silently open, revealing the state-of-the-art white, black, and silver bridge of Starfleet's flagship—a sight Alianna would have, under any other circumstance, loved to see. But right then, all she could see was the silent, dark shape hanging in space ahead of the Enterprise.

She only caught a glimpse before Captain Kirk appeared before her, blocking her view of her dead home. His hands wrapped gently around her upper arms and she had the mental space to wonder why—until she realized her knees were giving out beneath her and she'd started to fall.

"Breathe, Alianna," Kirk said. "Breathe."

She tried to do as he said, but her lungs wouldn't obey, her insides were dry, and nothing made sense. Instead of fighting to get to the viewscreen like the small voice in her mind told her to, Alianna let herself fall, let Kirk catch her. Her face came to rest against the front of his shoulder and when she did finally catch her breath, stopping the halt of the blackness at the corners of her vision, it was a breath full of Kirk.

It was oddly steadying, knowing there was someone right there, having something solid to cling to. An anchor.

"What's the status?" she asked, looking up at Kirk. Her voice was raspy, her eyes shining with unshed tears. But she knew before Kirk spoke that it wasn't good.

"I'm so sorry, Ali," he said. The sound of her nickname on his lips startled her; no one but Sindari and DeFalco had called her that in a long time. "There are no life signs."

Even Kirk couldn't hold her up as those words hit her. Her knees struck the floor, any air in her chest vanished, but still, the tears wouldn't fall.

No life signs.

They were all dead.